Great posts.
Yesterday son finished his last exam, which means his second year of college baseball will soon will come to an end.
On his bulletin board in his room here at home (which technically is only used by him 3 weeks out of the year) is a picture of a little boy 4-5 playing t-ball standing in the infield in ready position, next to that pitching on the mound in HS, next to that, pitching on the mound at Clemson. Hopefully in a few years, there will be other pictures, butwe don't have any control over that anymore.
A long journey that began almost 16 years ago, as he will be 21 this fall. After son reached the college level, I realized that the journey was JUST beginning, the other stuff along the way was preparation for things to come.
The funny part is that just about everything that he has ever wanted has come true for him, not because of us, but because of him. Although all of us as parents do at sometime wear the rose colored glasses, our son did not, none of them should. It gets in the way of goals. He just quietly went about taking care of business, playing well, getting good grades, improving upon what needed to be improved upon and has had the best time of his life doing it. We were there for him each and every step of the way, and will continue to be, but realize now that all that has transpired for his dream, his goals, have been accomplished by him. Our job was to bring him up to be a decent human being, and baseball played a big part in making him that way. For that I will always be grateful, that the game made him who he is, regardless of where he is going in the future.
Did he always believe in himself, no, did he ever think he was better than anyone else, maybe but he never said anything. Did he ever want to give it up, yes. I do beleive in sons case, humility taught him great lessons. Those that don't experience that phase will most likely never reach their goal. Somtimes his successes shocked him, just as his failures did. In fact, I think the failures have helped him to learn to be better and although it is agonizing at times, we are grateful for those many steps backwards to help him move forwards.
There is something special in all of our sons,that's why we are here. Just like many of you have heard the phrase "son is special", we did too, but we knew that he was the one that would make him special not us.
Have learned a lot over the past several years, the main thing is that our kids are smarter than us, we dream, they do to but they are the ones who need to take care of business, ONE day at a time. I know my son has told me that if he doesn't just focus on the moment, he loses sight of his goals. We rarely talk about what is ahead for him anymore, he can have those discussions with his coaches and advisor now, we are now just along for the ride, more as fans really, not much parental input on his game,but more on school. That's the way he prefers it and we respect that. We only give input when asked.
floridafan,
The reality of the numbers is bleak, and we think we should not let our sons know that (actually they really do we just think they don't). The reality hits them like a sledge hammer when they get beyond HS. The more expectations we have placed on them, the harder it becomes for them to fulfill them. Some of our kids get caught up in trying to please everyone, and they tend to forget about what's important for them. Funny part is after HS, not much is really in parents control anymore, except to be there to listen, to watch. So if we teach them to take control early, we step back and enjoy, they learn quickly what needs to get done to make their dream (not ours) come true.
So looking back in retrospect, try not to manage anything, because the ride along the way is not in your control, it's in his, your role is to give support in all phases of his life not just baseball.
I think PG's story about his sons is a perfect example of this and of how very little we really know where they are headed when they are younger, despite how talented they are. Obviously his son took his dream a bit farther, worked really hard to reach his goal.
Without clear goals, the dream is pretty hard to reach.