I've got just the recipe to make Cincinnati a winner!
- AWARD-WINNING CINCINNATI CHILI RECIPE
My friend has won every Chili Cookoff and Super Bowl bet she has ever entered with this recipe. It is unique in that it is spiced with cinnamon, chocolate, and one very effective ingredient guaranteed to move a team. It is served over vermicelli or thin spaghetti. To top it off, use cheese, pinto and/or kidney beans, onion, oyster crackers and Frank's Red Hot©. Make this recipe only if proper facilities are in place to handle the results.
Winning Cincinnati Chili
1 PICK-UP LOAD ground beef.
150 LB medium onion, finely chopped.
200 cloves of garlic, minced.
20 CUPS chili powder.
1 KNAPSACK unsweetened cocoa.
1 5 LB BAG EACH dry mustard, cumin, paprika and salt.
12 CUPS EACH cayenne pepper and black pepper.
6 CUPS EACH allspice, cardamom, cinnamon and cloves.
2 30 GAL TRASH CANS (preferably clean) crushed tomatoes (or in this case oranges).
10 #10 CANS tomato sauce.
3 CASES Fleets Phospho-Soda© colonoscopy prep kits.
Run the hose for a minute or two for water or suit to taste.
Cook ground beef (don't forget to take it out of the truck), onions, and garlic in the largest pan you have ever seen or 400 Dutch ovens over medium high heat until meat loses red color (or until the headlights turn off if you forgot to remove the truck). Pour off drippings, and if necessary crankcase oil, brake fluid, and coolant. Stir in remaining ingredients. Bring to boil, reduce heat, adjust the seat, and simmer uncovered for 1-1 1/2 hours or 150 miles whichever comes first.
Serve over vermicelli, thin spaghetti noodles, or those wiring harnesses you won't be needing anymore.
Top with:
- Finely shredded cheddar cheese.
Pinto and/or kidney beans.
Finely chopped onion.
Oyster crackers.
Frank's Red Hot©.
Any knobs, change, or bottle caps that cooked loose.
Feeds one highly ranked football team.
With a smiling face and restrained laughter serve to the entire voracious Gator team. Stand way, way back and enjoy!
And a reminder...don't skimp on the porta-potties. And it will help to keep the doors propped open! Oh...the firehose. Have a few of those handy.
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