TR, Good to have you back.
I was trying to convey pretty much what PG did although maybe not as well (mine not as well that is).
To answer your questions.
TR Q: In your mind does the term "accessible" mean they should have meetings after the game?
SBK A: Absolutely not! I said they should arrange an appointment.
TR Q: Does it mean they hold meetings without the AD present?
SBK A: At the coaches discretion but I wouldn’t discourage it or discourage having another coach present any time the coach feels it is necessary. If the conversation even begins to get less than professional the coach should end it immediately.
TR Q: Does "accessible" mean that I am around when we are on weekend trips to explain why we did what in the game? To the point they call me in my hotel room?
SBK A: Only if within reason on a casual positive basis such as at by the pool with a beverage of our choice and certainly no collect calls accepted.
TR Q: Does "accessible" mean my explanation to the young man in question will suffice?
SBK A: It usually does but I would think a coach of a minor should be accessible to their guardian if necessary and of course within reasonable boundaries.
TR Q: Can a coach be a real good coach without being "accessible"?
SBK A: I do not understand why a good coach would want to be inaccessible.
TR Q: Does the term "accessible" defined the same for a HS coach as well as a "select" team coach?
SBK A: Each should permit access according to their reasonable pre-established policy. As a select coach I would expect less BS and I would sure take less of it.
TR, I don’t think we are too far apart on this issue. You talk the tough, rigid line but if a parent or player asked to discuss something with you and did so in a professional respectful manner, I doubt that you’d turn them away. If it were anything less than that, I might even beat you in showing them the door.
The key to handling these situations is to do what you say you do. Communicate the expectations before the season. This way many problems never surface because the parents and players know what is expected. Things still come up and should be dealt with by both parties professionally. If the parents and players respect the coach and all parties have some class to begin with, there are fewer problems and very few things that can't be solved. It seems in this area, a coach and parent reap what they sew. Good coaches seem to have good players and good players seem to have good parents....... usually