From my exp. the parents are as much to blame if not more than the coaches. As many of you know I have a 2013, 2014,2016, 2018... I have been around parents from 2009 to likely 2018... and this is just the high school parents.
Excluding coaches and AD's I would venture to say I have met more parents than most. Parents feel that if their son comes out of the game then they are losing out on a chance to be seen or win etc... I know now that RC do not care... they are looking at so many more things than how many innings the player pitched... they are not interested in the game as much as those involved. They can see want they want to see in an inning or two.
It is the parents responsibility to protect the health of the player. I have told all my sons that if you do not feel "healthy" and ready to go out of the bullpen then you do not pitch. If you feel during the game that you are fatigued out and need to come out, call for a mound visit. Of go over your pitch counts with the PC between innings.
As far as the coaches are concerned, most know when the player is "losing" his stuff. For my sons, when they start losing their off speed control I can tell it will not be long. I wonder if the stories I hear about kids throwing 100+ pitches are pitchers from smaller schools with limited roster size? We generally carry enough pitchers so no one gets worn out.
2018 has been told he will get varisty innings this season. He is crusing 85 and hitting 87 I have already had a "hey what are you planning for 2018 this season" talk with the HC... Now this might be easier for me having had three others come through the program.. Some might think that I should not talk to the HC about his plans, but he's my son, he gets one shot, and he is very talented. If I felt the HC did not have my sons best interest at heart we would play elsewhere.
Here is the plan our HC uses.
Nov-Dec workouts, throwing long, plenty of rest, no pitching.
Jan. pitching starts, fastballs only, working on mechanics, 20-30 pitch bullpens depending on age
Feb. Sr and Jr throwing two 40 pitch bullpens a week, fastball and changes only.... So and Fr 1-2 bullpens a week throwing 30-40 pitches
March. Scrimmages everyone throws 2 innings.....
March games ( tourney games and non-conference) upper class 50-60 pitches.... underclass 40-50 pitches. starting to bring in curve and slider for varsity, under class no sliders.
April games ( conference mostly) upper classes throwing 75-90 Once at 85 they are getting you out. underclass still at 50-60
May ( sectionals , state finals) game by game...
Now since 2018 is under class but throwing varsity his pitch counts are still based on his age.
I am fine with HC's approach and of course once in a while they go over a pitch or two but 90% of the time this is what happens. We did have a few sr's that have gone 100 in some games when there was no 35 pitch innning in there and it was state tourney. Many times early in the season, in lopsides games, HC will pull starters and let second tier pitchers get some innings.
I might add except for the state tourney, pitchers varsity or jv only start one game every 5 days.
Lastly, the school has won 13 district titles, 8 sectionals, state tourney appearences 5 times , all this in last 13 years.