Good stuff here. Just wanna add that at the high school level, Dialog with the HC about pitch count limits and shut down periods must always come from the parents. NEVER the player.
And what else should the parents do - tell the coach what kind of pitches their child can throw? and to whom? an when? When does the child actually start taking responsibility for himself? How long does a parent meddle? or be a "helicopter parent"? If the child doesn't learn how to assert himself now, then when does he get to that point?
I know more coaches around here that would respect the conversation and dialogue coming from the player than the parent(s). Now if player says he talked to coach and coach still ignores him, then yes, it's time for a parent to step in and I'd take the player along so neither can claim the other never said anything. If your player didn't have the conversation yet, it'll be very obvious.
I cannot believe *any* coach is looking at a parent waiting for the "1 or 2 fingers to signal last batters" sign. Your nationally recognized pitching coach thinks its better for a parent to be another coach - guess I'm glad my child doesn't play for him. That says to me he sees the player as an arm to use and not an individual. A player that can come in every inning, find out where he's at pitch count wise, and think about how to approach the next 3 batters based on PC, spot in order, what they've done previously, etc. - that says to me I have a pitcher that's thinking not only about this game, but long term as well. Coach - I'm at 85, I have the bottom of the order coming up, I'm good to to one more is far better than a mound visit after some parents' 1 or 2 more batters signal that hasn't given the reliever enough time to warm up and grief from some other parent because their child was put into the game without being ready.