Players Missing Games

Fellow coaches:

I'd like to get your input on a situation that I'll have to deal with next year. I will give a little background information to set the stage.

I'm in my 13th season as head coach. 12 winning seasons before last year; we finished 8-16. Part of it was talent, part of it was coaching and part of it, I believe, was lack of dedication on the part of the players. Every year, I feel the kids (in ALL sports) do not put the emphasis on dedication and being at all practices and games that used to be present. Last season, we had a ton of kids miss a ton of practices/games.

So at a preseason meeting with parents and players a month or so ago, I impressed that on the players and parents and told them we were going to tighten things up. That I felt it was important for players not to miss practices/games unless ABSOLUTELY necessary...singling out family emergencies/deaths, personal illness, SAT/ACT testing, other varsity/JV sports. And I let them know that missing for unexcused absences could result in a player not making the team, or being dismissed.

Now today, I get a letter from a mom explaining that they were going to have an 80th birthday party for her mom a couple of months ago, but due to her brother having a heart attack, they needed to reschedule it....they opted for the first weekend in April, which would mean their son (who they say is required to go) would miss a league game and a DH on Saturday. They indicated they have dozens of family members coming in from several states, and that this is the best weekend they could come up with.

The player is a decent player who would most likely make the team otherwise, and in fact would likely be a starter. He's a Junior.

I'm torn. On one hand, it does seem that it was due to a fluke situation that they picked this time, and they certainly have addressed the situation. On the other hand, I feel like I have to make a stand and let our players know that other than emergencies or completely unavoidable circumstances, they are not to miss games. And if they will, then maybe they would be better off giving up their spot to someone who WOULD NOT miss practices for, what is essentially, a family get-together.

I'm sure that I'll get strong opinions both ways, and ultimately I'll have to make my own decision, but I do appreciate other coaches/parents putting in their 2-cents. Maybe your input will help me make the best decision I can make on behalf of that player, and more importantly, on behalf of my team.

Thanks in advance for your input.