Last year the starting left fielder a Jr. (son's friend since 2nd grade)missed a spring break tournament to go sking with his family. The player that replaced him at the tournament did well and opened the coaches eyes and kept the spot the rest of the season due to his play. The Jr. opened the door for the other player. The replacement player made most of his opportunity. The Jr. that missed the tournament sat the bench most of the season. Team is going to the same tournament this year again at spring break. The player that missed the spring tournament last year has already told my son that if his family goes sking again he is not. He will not miss the spring tournament for anything. In this case I believe the player learned a lesson about being a part of a team from suffering the result of his decision to go sking. Sometimes a player will learn more from the bench than from being cut.
As a parent I understand your point of wanting dedicated players. We have always told our son once you are a member of a team you attend every practice or game. We have arranged family outings etc. to see that son fulfilled is commitment.
This morning the teams starting shortstop a Sr. had dental surgey on his two front teeth. This afternoon he was at teams practice with a swollen face. He did not participate but couldn't stand the idea of missing a pracitce. He watched and helped pick up balls, soft toss, etc.. I know he made an impression on the coaches but even better he made a big impression to the underclassmen about being a member of the team. I believe a player is either dedicated or not he can not be forced into it.
TC - Good luck with your meeting. You sound like a coach I would love my son to play for.