Will, to make a "too long" story even longer....
I thought he principal was going to support me, but after the parents haranguing him repeatedly over the next few days by email and in phone calls, I was told:
1. Change your policy so that going on a school sponsored trip is considered an EXCUSED absence.
2. Change your policy that "if you miss one, you sit two", and make it a "if you miss one, you sit one"
I resisted and had another long meeting with the AD and principal where I told them that I felt that making a school sponsored trip an EXCUSED absence would open a Pandora's box of problems. The Principal said I was still free to bench the kid after he got back, but that I still had to consider the trip an EXCUSED absence. I asked how a parent or player would take it when they were told their absence was EXCUSED, but I could still bench the player. Didn't make a bit of sense to me.
As I told the principal, I may not like his rule and I may strongly disagree with it, but he is the boss and he tells me what to do. I either do what he says, or I face the consequences (ironically, not unlike MY rules). I told him I would have to decide whether I could accept this rule change, or whether I could not, and then he would have to take the appropriate action.
We left it at that. Then, two days later, kid still not coming to our Open Gyms, my principal is harangued more by the parents, he sends word through the AD that not only must the kid be allowed to try out, but that I MUST keep him. Direct orders. And that if I do not, I will be fired.
I'll admit it. After several days of, literally, not sleeping; discussions with my wife and with well-respected coaches from the area; and with friends of mine who are school administrators, and much soul searching.......
.....I caved. I wanted to keep the job and felt that, since this had been a pretty good kid in the past, if I kept him he wouldn't be a problem. The school was going to change my rule anyway, whether I was the coach or not, so I wanted to decide just how much I wanted to stay (and keep making $900 per season!)
I made the cuts, spoke to each and every kid individually to tell them where I saw them fitting in, as I do every year. Told that particular kid that his playing time would be limited because there were several players that he was "behind" talent-wise, and that with him missing 5 games and several practices in the second week of the season, other kids would play more than him in the FIRST week of the season. And that when he returned he would have some catching up to do. That if he wasn't playing, he needed to be a good teammate, stay "up" on the bench, and bide his time.
The next day, his mom emailed the school to tell them that that I was perhaps the worst and most evil coach that had ever walked on to a baseball field, and that her son quit because they knew that I was going to treat her son completely unfairly.
Probably the worst couple of weeks of my baseball life dealing with this. And the worst part? I think the KID was fine wtih choosing to go to Spain and not play baseball this year. He would have liked to do both, but he's known my rule since he was a Freshmen and I think he would have dealt with the situation. Mom and Dad could absolutely NOT let it go becauase baseball was their son's "first love" and his "passion"....however, when he was cleared to come out, he spent 3 days thinking about it because he wasn't sure if he wanted to play anymore.
An ugly and hard situation that makes me feel even worse for this young man than ever before. The fact is, I think just about everyone in this situation lost, from me to my players, to the kid, to our Principal to our AD......