abcbaseball, I am glad several posters have cheered you up. I can only imagine the roller-coaster emotions that you have been experiencing. They say time heals all wounds, and while this may not be true for a significant loss such as death, I bet it applies to situations such as yours. Best wishes to your son as he moves on. I'm sure that a few months from now, you will be seeing many positive results stemming from the decision he is making right now. Meanwhile, know that you are in the thoughts and prayers of many on this site!