I didn't write this but I can certainly relate to it. Enjoy.
RAISING BOYS
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> The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
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> Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
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> 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
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> 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
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> 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
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> 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
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> 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
> When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
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> 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
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> 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
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> 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
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> 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
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> 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
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> 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
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> 12.) Super glue is forever.
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> 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
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> 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
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> 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
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> 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
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> 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
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> 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
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> 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
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> 20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
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> 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
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> 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
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> 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
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> 24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
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