Don't take this the wrong way, but about your OP, that's not on the coach, but on you for putting your son in that situation to begin with.
I know people feel the need to get the word out early on their players, but you have a responsibility as well to be familiar with the rules and wait until the time is right. Get 2 years of HS ball in and get in a showcase for an evaluation when appropriate. Don't let coaches see you son until he is ready to be seen.
Excellent post from strained oblique, use the advice wisely from those that have gone through the process.
JMO
"For the record, I was very impressed at how HC handled this sticky situation. I thought he made what amends he could and were appropriate, and nothing more. In the end, the insight into a D-1 HC's honest opinion was rather serendipitous and even appreciated."
"Since that exchange from last May, son has stayed in touch with RC, and has continually gotten very positive feedback from RC. Most recent communique from RC was an invite to visit campus as soon as possible. We are now trying to figure out what to do, not to mention this campus is a good 15-hours drive one-way from our home and would be no small effort to visit."
"Question: Should son just move along and pretty much write-off this school and baseball program? Or should he just disregard, what appears to be, a cool reception by HC and keep it on his list of top schools he wants to study and play baseball at, in the hope that HC will come around and find the same honest enthusiasm for my 2018 RHP that his own RC has?"
I appreciate all the feedback directed at my question in OP. Please keep in mind that my question was simply, "Should a 2018 make a 15-hour drive one-way to visit a D-1 when player feels the RC is more interested in him than the HC?"
In order to explain why we believe the RC may be more interested in son than the HC, I shared son's experience with accidentally receiving HC's email that he must've believed he was sending only to his RC, but he must've hit "Reply All" and thus my son received coach's very candid and less than glowing opinion of son on his recruit video. No big deal. As my OP states, I was impressed with how the HC handled the error, he sincerely apologized to son, and son appreciated getting the honest feedback from a D-1 HC. All positive experience so far, in a "making lemon aid out of lemons" sort of way.
Somewhere along the line here this thread has turned into a, "Why is a 2018 sending video and emails to coaches" thread. I don't know why? I will ask him, but something clearly must be coming from it because the school in question wants him to visit the campus (and no, it's not a camp invite). Son's other campus visits have come through his travel coach or HS coach. This RC is clearly inviting son for a visit, via email, and again my question is simply should we make the effort since we believe the HC is less enthusiastic about son due to the miscued email received from HC with his revealing comments?
Most helpful posts so far regarding this question:
BacDorSlider: "we would not slam the door shut on said school but would definitely move on. Being a 2018 you have plenty of time to change HC mind but I would not spend on this school....Also the RC may be at a another school in a year of two and that school might be better than the first school."
Cabbagedad: "I definitely agree with bacdor in keeping good dialog with at least RC who is in your camp. Things can change with either RC, HC or both."
Gov: "Your 2018 is getting an eye opening early for how tough the process is and how coach's are running a business to build a program. It's all still grow a business and manage your P & L."
RipkenFan: "I guess I am one for fate, and would probably move on from that school. RC and HC have to be on the same page. Things happen for a reason."
Coach B25: "No matter how many times HC saw her play after that, and it was a lot, he never got over that first impression."
NYdad2017: "One more piece of advice... don't take it personal. This stuff is business at it's best. Find what will be best for your kid; where they love him and he'll get a good education. Don't fall in love with anything either, as it's bound to break your heart. Just find that place where your son will be able to be at his best and they want him the most. But tell him to remember this event, in case he faces that school down the road."
Fenway South: "Move on, but stay in touch."
Rick at Informed Athlete: "When visiting a campus, try to spend as much as time as possible interacting with the head coach and use your gut instincts to gauge whether you and the HC are a good fit. There might be a great relationship with the RC, but he's not the one that makes out the starting lineup!"
Rick again: "In fairness to the coaches, especially if they're younger with not a lot of experience with NCAA rules, it could be that their compliance offices are not doing an adequate job of educating them on the rules. I've consulted with a number of athletes and parents in transfer situations where even the compliance office at a university wasn't applying the rules properly."
Strained O, TPM, Smokeinside, Ted22, I appreciate your input also. I've read you guys for a long time and I understand the point about not sending video out until later. But the cows are out of the barn at this point, and there's nothing I can do about it now. I just wanted advice on whether to invest any more into this university with a 15-hour one-way road trip when the "RC is hot, and the HC is cool?"
I will encourage son to keep the line of communication open with RC as long as possible for reasons stated by Fenway, BacDor, and Cabbagedad. But I'm awfully tempted to have 2018 take joemktg's advice:
"F 'em. I wouldn't spend another iota of attention or $$ on them. My sincere hope is that 2018 gets to a point where he can face said school on the field and burn their axxes." -joemktg