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Reply to "Read this before you post about how unhappy your player is"


I offered the same question and this is some of what transpired.

by thats-a-balk
College is a business, period. They are there to make money just like any other business.
If you are unhappy at your business, not enough money, you look elsewhere. If you get tired of or don't like the line of work your in, you look elsewhere.
If a student does not like the education he is receiving or school he is attending, he changes schools or drops out. No different for an athlete. If he is disappointed in his lack of playing time, he has every right to transfer (with penalty). If a player is disappointed they cut his scholly money and it cost him more money to attend this business, he has every right to transfer (with penalty).

Each person including student and athlete is different, each situation is different. To use such a wide brush in painting athletes that transfer is just wrong and closed minded.

by YoungGunDad
I will say that I still don't agree even with college kids moving all over the place if they don't like their ___________ (fill in the blank(s). Seems to me that they should learn how to investigate things more in-depth before making a decision. A lot of headaches can be eliminated if this were taught better by parents and/or mentors. Yes, things change unexpectantly. Learn to suck it up and forge on..grow up.

by thats-a-balk!
Society is full suck it up people who were told to grow up and were afraid to make changes. Let the kid (in college) make his own decision on what he wants to do.

Alot of talking out of both sides of the mouth on this site. First it's keep Daddy out of it, let the kid handle his own issues from high school on. Then it's tell the kid to suck it up, grow up. You can mentor/educate but you can't have it both ways.

I will fill in the blanks-

I will support my son moving from one college to another if he doesn't feel he is getting the education he is paying for and deserves. Better than dropping out.
I will support my son moving from one college to another if he wants more playing time than he is receiving and still has that burning desire. Better than quiting all together.
I will support my son moving from one college to another if a coaching change occurs and he no longer feels comfortable with the new staff.

I have no son in college yet, but not one of these scenarios will ever cause me to tell my son to suck it up and grow up. If other opportunities are available and it will make my son a better student, athlete and person entering society, I'm all for it.

This is not an attack on you YoungGunDad, this is just my opinion and how I feel about these issues.

by YoungGunDad
The "fill in the blank" scenario's I speak of are these kinds:

I don't like my head coach. I wanna quit the team.

I don't like my teammates. They don't like me. I'm transferring.

I should be playing every day and not riding the pine. I'm going to the D3 school close to home next semester.

Balk, if your son wants more playing time, encourage him to work harder, get to practice early/stay late, etc. etc. First sign of trouble or unhappiness and calls home you're ready to help junior quit. Is this your advise for him from now on when things get tough? Quit? Whatever happened to the theory of out working someone to EARN the spot?

The 3rd one you mention is quite hilarious. Transfer because of a coaching change because he no longer "feels comfortable"? You're kidding, right? The only reason a kid would use this excuse is because the new coach(s) aren't playing him!

I was raised in an era when "The going gets tough, the tough get going." Not "throw in the towel because I haven't the fortitude" to stick it out.

Just as you mentioned when you finished, no attack on you Balk...but how I feel about these issues.

Nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree.

by thats-a-balk!
C'mon Young, get real.

What makes you think working harder, staying late, going early etc. etc. has not already been exercised?
You know, there are just some kids who are better than others and always will be. You make it sound as though transferring is the lowest form of shame and failure known to mankind! It happens everyday, are all these kids failures?

First sign of trouble? I didn't mention anything about trouble. Unhappiness? Sure, I hope my son and I have a close enough relationship where he seeks my advice when things are not going well. Please don't put words in my mouth or assume what I would tell my son. If you want to put a spin on it and use the word quit, go ahead.

I still use the theory of working hard and earn a spot, but at some point you have to make a common sense decision and decide if you would be better off elsewhere and admit the better man or athlete won. If not, you can waste four years, probably for most, your last four years not playing much. Again, it has nothing to do with not working hard or quiting, has to do with moving on to a better situation.

And last but not least, I don't see what you find so hilarious about a coaching change transfer.
I guess just a different sense of humor than me.
Most kids who make decisions on what schools they will attend have who the coach is pretty close to the top of their list. Why in the world would an athlete attend a University if they didn't feel comfortable with the coach. I don't think they would.
So again, don't assume or use such a broad brush when you say they only reason my son or any other kid would leave because of a coaching change is their not playing.

One last thing, your era is no different than mine, "The going gets tough, the tough get going".
The towels not being thrown in, the young man is still gonna "stick it out", same work ethic, same enthusiasm, same love for the game. The only thing that will change, is the scenery.

No quitter or failure in my eyes. Just a young man who wants to fulfill a dream and enhances his chances to do so!