If there is a situation that is so intolerable, then transfer is in order.
But what is intolerable? In the years I have been posting here, I know of only 2 situations from websters where there was an intolerable situation, the rest was for more playing time, finances or homesick, or not doing well in class.
The advice I can give is DO YOU HOMEWORK when it comes to finding out about coaching presonalities. They've most likely done there homework on your son, do as much as you can on your end. We made phone calls to people that we knew regarding coaches before he committed. Friends, people who have know coaches for years, parents of players. You can get that info, just look in the media guide (most addresses and numbers listed) and make a random call to speak to parents. Have your sons do homework to find out if they know anyone who knows anyone from the team. Go to a game, a few games, watch the coach in a game and how he interacts with the other coaches, umpires, dugout. Body language is easy to figure out. Read up on the coach, where he was before, who played under him, how many years, winning or losing coach, etc. With the internet you can find out just by searching a bit.
All coaches just like each one of us have their quirks, strong points and weak points. If your son played in HS or a travel team where he was one of their favorites, that's not gonna happen in college. Coaches, IMO, no matter who they are or where your go, are not out to be your players best friend.
My son is very close with his former pitching coach and always will be, but they've had their moments, even so much as little conversation for days after son got his azz chewed several times over three years. The best part was every time that happened he improved so coach said "no problem I'll get on you for every little thing as long as you listen". I am not sure my son would be where he is if not for him. He may not have understood it at the time, but he did the day he was drafted. The funny part when he told us when he got his azz kicked, we agreed with the coach! Some other parent may have found him to be too hard on their player, but my son knows now that if a train came the coach would have stood in front of him. He lives his life for his players.
I saw a coach at a game once have a hissy and I said I would never let my son play for someone like that, yet I know players who adore him. He stands up for his players, may not be what we expect, but that's just the way he is, some like him, some don't.
Your sons will learn more lessons from the tougher coaches than the easy going ones, JMO.
Mine who had a great over all college experience called several times to tell us he didn't want to play anymore, it wasn't fun. We listened, never gave advice unless asked and in a few days it was over. This is normal. What many have to understand is that as they get older, the fun game now becomes hard work, dedication and in college or beyond a business. That's why I say have your sons play for the shear joy and pleasure as youngsters for as long as they can and give them no pressure about the game. Put away the guns, the video camara, that stuff can come later on. Some may say their sons love it, but they don't know better. As they get older plenty of radar guns will be pointing at them for more important reasons than, "how hard should my 12,13,14 year old be throwing".
I consider myself at times an enabler as a parent, most are. But there comes a time when you have to know when they truely need your help and when they can figure it out for themselves. The sooner you begin the process, the easier it is for your kids to grow up and make decsions on their own, without your help. You should only be there to listen, especially when they leave the nest.
I find it ironic that parents that don't like coaches attitudes towards sons (especially after a bad game whether it be individual or team) most likely read them the riot act when they were younger about a cr*ppy game. If your kids are still young, forget about it, go have some ice cream or a burger, because channces are they are gonna get it later on from someone when expectations and stakes are higher.