quote:Originally posted by Henry:
He HAS taken responsibility for his actions by saying to himself "I believed the **** this coach spewed at me during recruitment and I think I've made a mistake here." He doesn't blame anyone but himself for not being more probing, more curious. He acknowledges that his biggest mistake was not talking to more rank and file players before signing on. He only spoke to players hand picked by the coach to guide the recruit. So he has taken responsibility and I resent that you assume he hasn't. And I guess you mean me when you call me the "helicopter". Yes, I'm going to try and help him be happy again, so sue me. What kind of a parent would turn his back on his kid and say "Oh well, you picked the school, you deal with it." And I do have a rooting interest in this in that I'm paying the tuition here. There's no scholarship involved. So why don't you now try and answer the question as asked. Is this specific situation a legitimate case for transfer. There isn't anything my kid can do to change the situation and by the way, about 90% of his teammates feel the same helplessness.
Henry, I am not negative in the least about players transferring. My own son did it for very legitimate reasons and never regretted it. I've known many players to do so. I think my biggest concern is when a player transfers because mom and dad think he should. Mom and dad don't feel that superstar son is getting the time he should be, etc. I think it's up to us to support our kids and make sure they realize the pros and cons of any situation.
I had two kids (well, still have them!). One very athletic and sports skills came naturally to this one (oldest one). Then the younger one who never had any natural athletic ability. I can honestly say that the younger one feels she contributed as much to her teams as the older one. That is in large part I believe because of the lessons she saw with her older brother and that I always wanted him to know he was no different than the kid that cheered from the bench every game. I tried to teach them to do their best, to support all their team mates and to respect their coach. Those are things that the weakest player should be doing as well as the strongest. If a kid is truly a team player, he adjusts much better to whatever role he is given.
Obviously, there's always two sides to a player wanting to transfer. Kinda like a married couple that's getting a divorce. You hear each side of the fence and often the truth is sitting right in the middle. The only one that's responsible for a college player's future is himself. It's the first step in taking responsibility for their future. They are the ones that have to live with the decision one way or another. Hopefully regardless of what they choose, they'll learn lessons that will benefit them for the long term.