What can I say.
At least don't beat yourself up for not orally accepting an oral offer before the oral time deadline that was given to you. Oral offers and commitments aren't worth the paper they're printed on.
I've even seen a signed NLI reneged on by a school. How? By just telling the player that he wouldn't be welcomed at practices. Player could have insisted on performance of the NLI money terms....but with a year out of baseball and maybe a year off to transfer, that would have been his career.
Rough patch you and your son are going thru right now. Try not to magnify it with feelings of guilt. You guys did nothing wrong. That's what I think.