quote:Originally posted by wraggArm:
Stop viewing the HS baseball program as being there solely for the purpose of developing YOUR son when he comes along. Your son should understand that his job is to go contribute to that program, to make it better in whatever way coach needs him to, and to help the others around him succeed. It may be that his most important job is to be on JV, to develop his skills along with the others on JV, and let those Juniors and Seniors who have more experience take on the other Varsity players in the district. Being a contributor to a winning organization is the REAL learning experience, and that's where he'll get the most valuable personal growth.
What a fine point that is!
I think everyone tends to personalize things too much. As parents, we want the right outcome to occur. We also know baseball and how fickle it can be. If the coach just happens to be watching that one time when our son screws up, then he might unfairly be denied his "rightful" opportunity - in our own minds at least.
If my premise is true that we all tend to personalize things too much, then here are a few thoughts that come to mind. Keep those thoughts to yourself. Don't even share them with your son. If you feel he got unfair treatment or he is better than somone else, keep those thoughts to yourself. For parents, focus on encouragement of things under their control. Focusing on team success mentioned above is a tried and true method for breaking the inward worries and anxieties to something more positive and external.
Since I have been here since 2004, it is amazing actually how many variations on this theme have been posted here yet all with the same concern in mind - that someone's son might miss out if things don't go the way they think it ought too in advance. Here are some past threads on this theme I can remember and perhaps people can remember other ones.
I mean we've had people post who were concerned their kids might be denied an opportunity in college if their sons did not play at their desired position in high school. Think about that, the parent overlooks their kid is in the starting lineup and worries or focuses on the percieved negative or slight of someone else playing their rightful/desired position.
Here is one of the best I've seen. We've had parents worry that their freshman sons who made varsity would be better off if they played JV. That's right, worry about the opposite problem John is worrying about here. Seems they were concerned their sons might not play as often when on varsity. Wondered if JV might be better for development since the playing time might be more consitent.
We have had other parents where their freshmen sons were being used on both JV and varsity. They had concerns their sons might be overused.
Do you see how this works? Everyone is concerned. The idea is to learn how not to be concerned about those things anymore (other than health concerns obviously). I have stewed and fretted over my son's playing time, postion, where he batted in the lineup, and especially after he got into college. You know what it got me? Zilch. Probably less than zilch as the needless worry probably substracted from things both short and long term.
The real cool things here are that setbacks (real or perceived) can be used for growth if channeled positively. That is what players are ultimately seeking - to grow in the game. As long as growth continues, the career will continue and more importantly that is what parents will derive the most satisfaction from.