Why is it a sore spot with you?
The concept of "when recruiting begins" is a sore spot because there are such conflicting opinions on the matter from very knowledgeable people. Notice I didn't say when OFFERS begin, but when RECRUITING begins, when does the player get on the radar?
It appears to me, and I could be wrong, that anyone who went through this dance 5+ years ago is very firm that recruiting begins in 11th grade, this is mirrored on the website information, and the idea of discussing such matters prior to their child making the Varsity team in High School is ludicrous and the parents must be over thinking helicopter parents.
Maybe some of them/us are helicopter parents who are overthinking...but you read more and more about commitments for the class of 2020, and 2019, and 2018 has a boat load. If there are a boat load of 10th graders committing then recruitment can't be starting in 11th grade. Are their occasional alumni outliers, sure, but if only 25% of the offers being made to 8th/9th/10th graders are being accepted, because parents are educating themselves that accepting offers that early could be detrimental, then there have to be WAY more offers than there are acceptances. That leads me back to RECRUITING can't be starting in 11th grade. I would hazard a guess that actual recruiting is starting in 8th grade. 8th grade vs. 11th grade...that's a pretty big gap, hence the sore spot.
A lot of this is also regionalized. Florida, for instance will have a lot more of this than Colorado. My state - Colorado - is a case in point. No 2018's have committed and only two 2017's have committed as of today. That doesn't mean there isn't recruiting going on, though. I know of at least a couple of 2018's that have contact and could be committed if they so chose, but are not. However, for those that believe the facts I'm stating means you can wait until your junior year to start the process - think again. Many of the Power 5 schools are either close to filling or are done with 2017 recruiting. They have already turned their attention to the 2018 and 2019 classes. Of course, there are always spots for the elite 2016, but the later you wait, the more talent you had better bring. If you are merely "just as good" as the kid they've been in contact with and following for two years now, that ain't good enough.