I'll break this down by question to make it easier than typing long paragraphs
With a few other schools in the mix(son is adamant about D1) - when should we decide by and how long do we have to make that decision?
You should be deciding now. Now as in, by the end of this coming calendar week. Yeah you can probably hold out a little longer, but you don't want to find out 10 days before signing day that the offer is no longer standing and have zero D1 options.
I know NLI day is Nov 14th.. but what is typical for commitment and signing period? We are not doing the traditional school application route.
Honestly none of this is typical. 99% of D1s have their 2019 class set already. Many have already brought the entire class up for their official already. At this point most schools are focused on their own fall ball, wrapping up fall recruiting, and getting NLI prepared. I'm not quite sure what you mean by not doing traditional application.
Son would like to explore some more local school options (california) but thus far we havent gotten any real love(visit worthy) yet from state D1's..
If it hasn't happened, its not going to happen. For reasons stated above
How much time do we have to make a decision?
If you have interest from schools, but they still haven't offered. Call them this week, tell them you have a good offer from a D1 that you are considering accepting. They will either have you up for a visit and offer you or congratulate you and wish you luck. If the other schools in the mix have already made offers, make a decision. I would not wait longer than Friday, unless you are invited for visits.
As far as applications: Do your kids also fill out the traditional applications-or do you wait till you commit and get a NLI from the baseball schools?
You typically wait until you commit (Doesn't make sense to apply to a school you won't be attending). You still have to apply to the school traditionally. Contact the coach and see if there is anything he needs to do/needs you to do (there will be). Applications are due for most schools Nov 1. I know it seems like there is still a lot of time (one month until signing day), but most of the paperwork and ceremonial stuff is set up 2 weeks in advance. I would say by next weekend your son should know where he is going, be finishing up an application, and setting up a signing ceremony at school.