Here's how I plan to approach the next team:
I have been contacted by a team about son. We played against them in two games.
I have asked two current parents, one former parent, and an opposing coach their opinions. I asked about all coaches, I asked about the club, the facilities, the management. The fees involved previously and any talk of the future costs. How are their practices run? How are players positioned and moved? How do the coaches handle game situations?
I have observed a tense hard fought game that ended in a tie. I watched the coaches, AND the parents.
I did all this while avoiding the pending contact with the head coach.
While meeting with the coach I told him I would not discuss my desires for my son until he had evaluated him and gave me his opinion. I did not want to influence him in anyway. He thought that was a great idea.
I can't take another year like this one and I'm afraid neither can my son.