I know this thread is old, but it is thought-provoking, as we had some of the same thoughts as our son aged-out of his youth program and we tried to decide on a high school travel program. What did my son gain from years of play with his youth travel teams, including 14U? First and foremost - an absolute passion for the game. After years of playing against other good teams and with other good players, he now sets developmental goals for himself...and has already reached some of them. It is amazing to watch and he is learning lifelong skills about teamwork, work ethic, dedication, and sportsmanship. His travel teammates are now his very good friends, and we suspect many will be teammates in high school.
Also, I do not think it's a stretch to say that there are a decent number of players in our area who are doing all of the numbered items AND playing on a competitive travel team. At least that is the case in our area.
I know this is likely a regional difference to a degree, but how would a young player get the same experience without playing against very decent competition? Baseball is very popular in our area and there is a huge difference between recreational teams, less competitive travel teams, and more competitive travel teams. When they get to high school, all of these same players are trying our for the same high school teams, but it is more common to hear of high school players making contributions to their team, who also played on very competitive travel teams as youth players.