Reply to "What comes after college athletics and loss of identity"

My kids grew up with me responding to “What do you do?” with “depends when I’m doing it.” I knew people were asking what I did for a living. But I didn’t want to define myself by my job. It lead them not to define themselves by what provides the most exposure.

While my kids grew up jocks with mostly jock friends they never saw sports as who they were. They were also top students. They saw sports as what made them most visible. They knew what their path would be after college. They had done internships. My daughter did a semester long internship. My son ticked off his baseball coach choosing to do an internship in the summer. He had surgery and couldn’t play summer ball anyway that summer. After graduation and a summer break they pursued their objective and got it.

They're both still very active. Diet and weight have not been a problem.

At the first Thanksgiving family get together after graduating my son commented without baseball he’s now as boring as the rest of us. “How’s the job?” doesn’t resonate like “how’s this coming season look?” 

When I graduated even with work and coaching baseball in the summer I had free time to get bored. It led to calling friends and meeting for a couple of beers many nights.  I wasn’t drinking to excess. But I was drinking frequently. After a break up I wanted to be where available women were. The bad advice I received from my mother was “be a grown up and having my own place.” I should have had a roommate.

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