justbaseball,
"He's pretty good, makes the all star teams, but barely."
You answered your own poll question with this bit of information- to place this level of player on a "select" team is placing him WAY over his current talent level.
IMHO, it seems that the "invitation" for your son to participate on the "select" team was a way for the select team to secure a full complement of parent $.
IF the son really wants to continue to play at higher levels, I would suggest that your $ and time would be better spent on lessons from a competent instructor(especially at age 12,13,14) who can focus on the areas which will enable the player to be more than just "...barely..." selected to all star teams.
Continuing to play on a team(at the same skill level) will do much to keep the player at that same inadequate skill level when compared to gains made from private instruction alone at this critical age level.
A HUGE part of the solution at this age is the player's true desire to pay the price to get better. This will require him to be brutaly honest with himself.
Best of luck... at this point players(and parents) have to realize that they must enjoy the WORK that getting better requires compared to the FUN that playing baseball has previously been. When WORKING at baseball is FUN, he will make progress and then only his true physical limitations can hold him back.
OPP