Our son decided to commit early after being offered by his first choice school. With that being said, having an idea of what schools he may want to go to based on academics, geographical location, size of previous years recruiting classes (over recruiting), and of course the programs reputation. As a parent you are correct in the fact you don't want to be over controlling but your son is only a 9th grader and it's ok to help him maneuver through this as a 14 year old. Offers come at different times for each player. Right now it's more of establishing a relationship with the coaches recruiting him and getting an idea of who "loves him" and listening to what they envision for him. The coaches typically do most of the talking but it's good for him to have a few questions to learn more about the schools and their programs. He will also likely be given a day and time slot to call "weekly" since he's too young for them to "initiate" contact directly with your son. It will seem overwhelming initially but it's a great experience so enjoy it.