Yesterday I had a long talk with the kid about commitment with strong messages:
You must be committed b/c playing more competitively:
1. Takes more money. (We can swing it but it will be challenging).
2. Takes more time for him (training, travel, etc.)
3. Takes more time for the parents (no explanation necessary)
4. Takes time away from academics and those can't slide.
5. It's going to become more work - playing the game is only part of the equation
6. May require sacrificing other sports (the kid never met a sport he didn't like - except basketball)
7. Etc. Etc.
After this long heartfelt talk I said to him, "I need you to think about it and tell me if this is really what you want." His reply, with tears welling up, "I don't need to think about it. This is what I want." He's never been overcome by emotion like that before. It surprised him - and me. When I called him on it, he couldn't even explain why he was tearing up.
It was one of the sweetest moments I've ever had as a mom.
It sounds like some things hit home. That was pretty cool.
Looks like you found some great helpful direction here - welcome to the site!
When I was reading your list, I found myself drawn to see #1 and #3 being so high on the list and the way they were worded. It can be a fine line. Those are things that these young boys certainly need to be aware of and to appreciate. They should appreciate and not take for granted the spend that may be involved and, in many cases, should have to share in the investment. That said, we need to be careful we don't express that their interests are any kind of burden we don't want to bare. I was fortunate enough to spend a lot of time with my kids and their interests, whether the interests were very interesting to me or not. It was not easy to make that time happen and I always wished I had even more. But I would never want them to think something they wanted to do was something that couldn't happen because it took too much of my time. There was a funny thread posted here not too long ago that expresses this thought in an over-the-top sort of way but it definitely has an underlying message...
http://community.hsbaseballweb...g-catch-with-dad-lol
I know you are not that parent and I'm nitpicking your wording. We just have to be careful when we walk that fine line trying to convey our messages to our kids.