Man, these stories are so familiar that it's scary. Back in the late 60's in rural SC you stayed on the same team, year after year, from ages 9-12. Our coach was a nice guy, but totally sucked. Taught us absolutely nothing, and played favorites big time. Fortunately, every summer he would go to National Guard camp and we would get a replacement, usually a college player home for the summer. A couple of those guys were terrific. No surprise, the team usually went on a run after the regular coach left. One of those replacements ended up coaching HS and JUCO ball. I learned more from him in a couple of weeks than from the regular coach in 4 years. I doubt that my own kid would have ended up playing baseball were it not for him.
Even though most of the "coaching" sucked, I still learned several things that influenced my youth parenting and coaching years later:
1. As a parent, don't expect too much from your kid's coach (or teacher). Teach him yourself or hire someone to do it.
2. If you're gonna coach and don't know what you're doing, either educate yourself or get out.
3. Treat all of the kids the same. Everybody deserves a fair shot.
4. Make it fun.