Disclaimer: I did not read every single post. But I feel strongly that any coach who steps down because of parents is weak - or as a couple have suggested maybe there is more to the story and this is the excuse. And yes it is the coaches job to deal with the abuse. Comes with the territory. Should it? No. But it is what it is. Toughen up buttercup. Ever work in retail?!? Talk about taking abuse. I am a teacher and coach by trade and also worked in the banking business where we had to be prim and proper in the face of angry customers. I have taken more than my share of abuse over the years. Never made me tuck my tail and run.
No one should have to take any type of abuse in the workplace, never ever, male or female.
No coach should have to put up with any crap from any parent. And most won't.
What I'm about to post is complete conjecture.
I've been searching her name for the past few days looking for anything new. There hasn't been anything. But I've read a few older stories about her. There's absolutely no doubt this is a heralded former high school player, college player and THE rising star of the Massachusetts coaching ranks. She brought a former prominent program that sank back to the top.
From what I've read there's an issue with parents over playing time. It's a combination of parents of younger players thinking their kid should get more playing time and older players getting caught from behind talentwise, and losing player time. Maybe because she's sending her best players to D1 parents assume their girls are missing out by not getting enough playing time (how about earning it?). I'll guess she has no problem starting young players. She was a varsity starter in 7th grade in a large 7-12 high school. 7th and 8th graders may play varsity in 7-12's. She was all league by freshman year. Girls physically mature sooner.
Sure, putting up with parents is part of the job. But we don't know what's going on. Is she being threatened? Is a police dad harassing her? Is a lawyer dad harassing her? Are parents spray painting obscenities about her. There are parents and players who have her back as well.
Among the articles listed her coaching journey. She's a guidance counselor at Norwood High School. Norwood was 6-13 this past season. I'm going to watch to see if she shows up as the coach at Norwood. It may be a combination of the parental BS at Braintree, a new opportunity to build a program and the existing coach hasn't been fired yet. She probably doesn't want to burn bridges in the coaching/AD community so she isn't talking.
Add: Found an article that may be hope and conjecture ... There are some people who believe she walked out now to force the AD and principal to fix the problem and she will return. This has to be more than the typical parental whining.
Goin_yard posted:TPM posted:Now I hope that many of you understand why, when coaches are out recruiting, they are watching you too. Not only watching parents of HS players, but for JUCO parents as well. They just don't want to deal with the nonsense, or rather the BS.
Unless your kid is an absolute stud. Talent overrides everything. LaVar Ball is a perfect example of that.
Most of our kids are not absolute studs, and I am sure most of our kids are pretty good kids and respectful, remember this was not about the kids, it was about the parents.
What I am referring to is coaches are watching and listening while recruiting, is the parent coaching from the stands, is the parent calling the player over to give advice? Is the player complaining about the management or other players during a game? Who is carrying in the equipment? Coaches dont want to meet you unless they have made an effort to do so. And coaches do not like parents placing a radar gun on the pitcher while he is being watched by scouts, coaches. So put the gun away folks.
Just an educated guess, in this case parents controlled the AD, not the other way around. No coach wants a boss who doesn't get his or her back. So it was her option to stay and put up with the bs or leave.
She obviously chose the latter. IMO probably a good example of how things sometimes work in the reality of youth sports.
Geno Auriemma
Kids want to be good teammates. When they're not you can typically trace it back to the parents. When I scout I also watch the parents.
Coaching HS sports is, for the most part, a volunteer job. The typical small stipend is often kicked back to the program. It is a labor of love, a way to contribute to the community, the school, the players, in an area where you may have some background.
Yes, dealing with parents is part of the package. So is dealing with all the administrative minutia, field work, hoping for AD, booster, school board and grounds support when every school district is seemingly short on money and terrified of lawsuits.
Player and parent disgruntlement is an inevitable. Some play, some don't. Some play the position the want to, some don't. Some hit where they think they should, some don't. Some are OK with the rules, philosophy and decisions of the coach, some are not. It all comes with the territory.
Coaches have a limited pool of players (and parents) to choose from -those that attend the school and are eligible. Usually, a good coach will have systems in place to assure that any parent issues are kept in check. Usually, a good coach will have some degree of support from administration that will support his system and decisions. Sometimes, (often due to that fear of lawsuit issue I mentioned) even a very good coach won't quite get the administrative or school board support he/she needs. Once in a while, there is a wave of parents that is just so over-the-top problematic, that it can really bring into question whether volunteer efforts are worth while.
I think it is probably rare that a coach gets full support all the way around. Our program has actually been very fortunate to have a largely supportive group of parents over the years. There have been years that I have been given a heads up about a particular group of parents coming up with the next class that may be more challenging than usual. I could write a book... with many chapters. Definitely made things particularly challenging at times. In our particular case, though, the biggest hurdles and points of frustration have been tied to admin, field maintenance and fundraising issues. As RJM alluded to, I have been put in the position a few times to consider stepping down in order to send a message that there is a significant problem that the board needs to take a closer look at. It's hard when you have a group of kids that you don't want to let down. Which route helps them the most? Short term? Long term?
I have seen, in neighboring schools, some very good coaches who said, preached and taught all the right things be driven out by rabid parent groups who had other things in mind for their kids. Winning usually diffuses most of this type of issue. In fact, I have seen coaches who have done some totally unacceptable things remain in their post because they were winning. That is the only thing that is a bit surprising to me about this particular OP story and other similar stories that have come out lately. She was winning consistently, sending kids on to play at the next level, very qualified and no negative issues of substance that I have seen yet.
We don't know all the details here and likely never will. But I don't think you can make blanket statements like this coach wasn't qualified or tough enough or doing her job because she couldn't handle problem parents. Everyone draws a line somewhere. As they should.
2020dad posted:Disclaimer: I did not read every single post. But I feel strongly that any coach who steps down because of parents is weak - or as a couple have suggested maybe there is more to the story and this is the excuse. And yes it is the coaches job to deal with the abuse. Comes with the territory. Should it? No. But it is what it is. Toughen up buttercup. Ever work in retail?!? Talk about taking abuse. I am a teacher and coach by trade and also worked in the banking business where we had to be prim and proper in the face of angry customers. I have taken more than my share of abuse over the years. Never made me tuck my tail and run.
The communication, organization, motivation, analytical and leadership skills it takes to be a successful coach mean that successful coaches can also be good at a lot of things other than coaching.
It would be perfectly reasonable for a non-weak, non-buttercup to decide to apply her talents to other pursuits, to help young people in different ways--or simply to use the status she has earned to coach in a situation more to her liking.
Here's the problem as stated by an area high school sports blogger ...
My question is, where is administration on this one? Why are they allowing this to happen? This is clearly a woman who is making a difference in the lives of children, and doing a GREAT job. We need more teachers and coaches like her. She is an invaluable asset to the school, and they’re just letting her walk away because a bunch of parents don’t know how to sit down and shut up?
This is the problem with high school administrators. They’re gutless. They will side with the parents, no matter how unreasonable they are, because the parents are the taxpayers. Coach McDonnell is an employee, and since Braintree High School apparently doesn’t value success, she is an expendable one and less valuable than the parents.
RJM posted:Here's the problem as stated by an area high school sports blogger ...
My question is, where is administration on this one? Why are they allowing this to happen? This is clearly a woman who is making a difference in the lives of children, and doing a GREAT job. We need more teachers and coaches like her. She is an invaluable asset to the school, and they’re just letting her walk away because a bunch of parents don’t know how to sit down and shut up?
This is the problem with high school administrators. They’re gutless. They will side with the parents, no matter how unreasonable they are, because the parents are the taxpayers. Coach McDonnell is an employee, and since Braintree High School apparently doesn’t value success, she is an expendable one and less valuable than the parents.
There's a message in there somewhere. We all like to think that a coach can run his/her own kingdom. Coach's discretion is un questionable. But it's just not true, at any level. In the pros, they answer to the GM and ownership (who generally represent fan concerns as they buy the tickets). At the college level it's the administration and boosters. HS adds a political aspect as most boards of education are elected and they control the administration - so,of course they will listen to the parents. Somewhere in all of this is a balance. A balance of all the competing interests. Successful programs know how to work that balance.
You have one vision and just refuse to accept anything else. This is one of the most respected coaches in the state. They're not just a state powerhouse. She has them playing a national schedule and winning. She's considered the best coach in the state. ESPN Boston said she should be a college coach. They said she's too talented to put up with the crap. A bunch of parents are saying this is nothing but a handful of parents who have been abusive.
A friend's son is a coach in Mass. The rumors are flying because she's not talking. If the rumors are true most coaches would walk. I'm not going to post rumors. It's nit fair to either side. If they turn out to be true I'll post the article.
I have three options ...
1) She's tired of the BS and will move to the high school where she works
2) She's tired of the BS and will start working her way up the college coaching ranks
3) The rumors are true and shame on the school and the school district for mit doing more.
What the blogger wrote is true. If a school administration is weak the parents as taxpayers hold all the cards. This was true in our school district until the administration changed.
My coach sucks!
Golfman25 posted:RJM posted:Here's the problem as stated by an area high school sports blogger ...
My question is, where is administration on this one? Why are they allowing this to happen? This is clearly a woman who is making a difference in the lives of children, and doing a GREAT job. We need more teachers and coaches like her. She is an invaluable asset to the school, and they’re just letting her walk away because a bunch of parents don’t know how to sit down and shut up?
This is the problem with high school administrators. They’re gutless. They will side with the parents, no matter how unreasonable they are, because the parents are the taxpayers. Coach McDonnell is an employee, and since Braintree High School apparently doesn’t value success, she is an expendable one and less valuable than the parents.
There's a message in there somewhere. We all like to think that a coach can run his/her own kingdom. Coach's discretion is un questionable. But it's just not true, at any level. In the pros, they answer to the GM and ownership (who generally represent fan concerns as they buy the tickets). At the college level it's the administration and boosters. HS adds a political aspect as most boards of education are elected and they control the administration - so,of course they will listen to the parents. Somewhere in all of this is a balance. A balance of all the competing interests. Successful programs know how to work that balance.
While I agree there should be a balance, it doesnt always apply.
This isnt just about sports. This is why the entire educational system in our country sux, because of crappy administrators that are forcing good teachers, good professors, good coaches (who are teachers btw) out of the profession because they dont have the backbone to do whats best for ALL, not some. And then they threaten jobs if you dont win, dont raise test scores, and allow parents to do whatever they can to undermine your achievements.
If this coach is playing the best talent and creates a winning program in all aspects and obtaining scholarships for students and feels the need to leave her students and players because parents flash $$$ around to get what they want, thats just sad, because its people like this person that help to shape a younger generation who really need help becoming good citizens and adults.
JMO
Do people realize the amount of time and effort that it takes to coach at the High School level and do it very well? Now do they realize what the pay is? Do they realize the amount of personal sacrifice it takes? Most of the HS coaches that I know who have walked away before retirement have walked away because they were simply beat down. Beat down from working long hours for very little pay. Beat down from trying to make a difference only to have to constantly fight battles vs people who have no clue what it takes. Beat down from missing their kids games, family time, while at the same time having to deal with people who don't understand and or appreciate their efforts.
I was very fortunate to have a long time AD who basically was a legend at the school I coached at. He has won multiple state championships in softball, coached basketball where he was very successful and taught at the school for many years. He sheltered me from most of the clutter. He supported my decisions. "I was a coach and I coached my team the way I felt was best so you can count on me to allow you to do the same."
The problem is many don't have this. They are constantly bombarded with complaints about decisions they make on the field. Constantly called into the Office to be confronted with complaints. Constantly fielding phone calls about playing time and other issues. It reaches a point where many simply decided it's not worth the stress and time away from other things they could be spending their time on. Before anyone can truly make a judgment on this you really would have to be in the shoes of someone who has dealt with this.
What you eventually will end up with are the coaches that simply coach for the stipend who will go with the flow because they don't care. The one's that do care will coach outside of the school system where they will be allowed to coach and are wanted to coach. In many cases this is already what you have. "Hey Jimmy you need to coach Baseball." I don't know anything about baseball and I have never coached! "Well it pays 4,500 and you can wing it." Cool thanks!
And then people will come on here and tell all of us how the HS coach sucks and is a clown. Of course his travel team coach is the man.
This morning, WEEI in Boston, the leading sports talk show in the market, took up this topic. The hosts echoed many of the sentiments in this thread...I'm guessing they will eventually get some details.
This hit home a bit with me. Our high school girls team has a freshman starter. She led the team in scoring, hit a three pointer at the buzzer to win the state semi-final game (we went on to win the state title). She's a 6' 3" phenom and, STILL, I've heard two parents of seniors who started last year but are now on the bench try to make the argument that she shouldn't start because she's a freshman.
However, it's nothing new. When I was in high school we had a class of high school girls basketball players move into their freshman year of high school and take over the entire starting lineup. This was the first year Texas had moved from 6-on-6 girls ball to 5-on-5. They averaged almost 90 points a game. Two of those girls were future D1 players and this was a small school (3A). However, the ranting and raving from a couple of parents of a junior and a senior was intense. This, despite that every girl on the team was related. Two sets of sisters and the rest were all cousins. Four of the five starters had the same last name. Five of the eight players on varsity all had the same last name. There were times when all five players on the court were named Wilson, so it was a family squabble more than anything else.
Does anyone think whining, complaining parents is new? It's not. I started as a soph in three sports in high school in the 70's. According to some parents it was because my father was a legend at the same high school and had influence. This was a very large (4000+) three year high school.
I told my father one of the coaches was being extra tough one me. He advised me I could pussy up and quit if I wanted or man up and prove I belonged. How's that for influence?
Going to the AD to get the coach fired is new. Threatening the coach is new. The amount of coverage it gets with social media and online news sources is new.
roothog66 posted:STILL, I've heard two parents of seniors who started last year but are now on the bench try to make the argument that she shouldn't start because she's a freshman.
Worst moment of our 3-18 basketball season this year was listening to one mom yelling "play your seniors" at the end of every game despite the fact that our seniors started and got us behind to begin with.
I honestly have developed a lot of respect for coaches who have the guts to start freshmen and sophomores on varsity.
K9 posted:This morning, WEEI in Boston, the leading sports talk show in the market, took up this topic. The hosts echoed many of the sentiments in this thread...I'm guessing they will eventually get some details.
I know MIAA officials and coaches who don't know any more than the rumors that are flying. She's not talking. There may be legal reasons why.
Iowamom23 posted:roothog66 posted:STILL, I've heard two parents of seniors who started last year but are now on the bench try to make the argument that she shouldn't start because she's a freshman.
Worst moment of our 3-18 basketball season this year was listening to one mom yelling "play your seniors" at the end of every game despite the fact that our seniors started and got us behind to begin with.
I honestly have developed a lot of respect for coaches who have the guts to start freshmen and sophomores on varsity.
It's a bigger problem in girls sports. Girls physically mature sooner. The exception is a real late bloomer. I saw parents of 14u (previous year) studs with misconceptions their daughters were going to step right into the playing rotation. What they didn't realize is most of the talented girls were already playing 16u if not 18u.
i remember one year a mother bragging on her 14u previous year) softball daughter. A few of us returning parents laughed. We wondered how she would respond when she realized eight returning starters were already playing 18u and the one freshman starter played 16u in 8th grade and rostered to play 18u that summer.
The mother got ticked her daughter wasn't getting on the field other than blowouts. It never mattered to her every starter and a reserve pitcher-outfielder was already college verballed. It was a wonderful day when her daughter was sent down to JV and the mother was out of earshot. A lesser player, happy to sit on varsity with non delusional parents was refreshing.
It's a coaches job to win, so that means the best players play, regardless of grade level.
I wouldn't want my player to play for any coach who thought differently.
Coach May's use of the term "beat down" is the most appropriate one I can imagine. People on here saying the HS coach is "weak" for walking away are clowns who don't truly understand the job and never will. People comparing a complaining customer in a retail environment as comparable are equally ignorant (yes I've been in retail and coaching).
It is a thankless job that takes thick skin for sure, but at some point it simply not worth so much time and effort to have the negative pieces start to take over your personal life and impact your family. If you can't understand that basic concept, you're probably the one who will be complaining about playing at some point in the future.
Swampboy posted:2020dad posted:Disclaimer: I did not read every single post. But I feel strongly that any coach who steps down because of parents is weak - or as a couple have suggested maybe there is more to the story and this is the excuse. And yes it is the coaches job to deal with the abuse. Comes with the territory. Should it? No. But it is what it is. Toughen up buttercup. Ever work in retail?!? Talk about taking abuse. I am a teacher and coach by trade and also worked in the banking business where we had to be prim and proper in the face of angry customers. I have taken more than my share of abuse over the years. Never made me tuck my tail and run.
The communication, organization, motivation, analytical and leadership skills it takes to be a successful coach mean that successful coaches can also be good at a lot of things other than coaching.
It would be perfectly reasonable for a non-weak, non-buttercup to decide to apply her talents to other pursuits, to help young people in different ways--or simply to use the status she has earned to coach in a situation more to her liking.
Agree 100% with that. But that's not the way it was phrased originally.
Cabbage you are on the money regarding dealing with the administration. Nothing is more frustrating in the school system than administrators. Now ther is even the trend toward young administrators with little or no teaching experience. Completely unqualified and overmatched by the job. And that think all us old farts know nothing.
ironhorse posted:Coach May's use of the term "beat down" is the most appropriate one I can imagine. People on here saying the HS coach is "weak" for walking away are clowns who don't truly understand the job and never will. People comparing a complaining customer in a retail environment as comparable are equally ignorant (yes I've been in retail and coaching).
It is a thankless job that takes thick skin for sure, but at some point it simply not worth so much time and effort to have the negative pieces start to take over your personal life and impact your family. If you can't understand that basic concept, you're probably the one who will be complaining about playing at some point in the future.
That was me... and I also have been in retail as well as coaching/teaching and you are wrong again. There are similarities. And the way it was originally phrased yes you are weak if you allow parents to run you out of a job. Now the way it was later phrased is completely different. If you simply find an opportunity you would rather pursue then great. Life is full of choices. You have a right to choose. Thanks for calling me a clown though. I don't make a habit of calling people names on here. I find those who have to hide behind a keyboard to play tough guy are usually weak.
Well stated 2020. Going directly at a poster was out of no where vs continuing debate as you had been doing. Sounds like parents might not have always agreed with you but they sure got an honest answer.
2020dad posted:ironhorse posted:Coach May's use of the term "beat down" is the most appropriate one I can imagine. People on here saying the HS coach is "weak" for walking away are clowns who don't truly understand the job and never will. People comparing a complaining customer in a retail environment as comparable are equally ignorant (yes I've been in retail and coaching).
It is a thankless job that takes thick skin for sure, but at some point it simply not worth so much time and effort to have the negative pieces start to take over your personal life and impact your family. If you can't understand that basic concept, you're probably the one who will be complaining about playing at some point in the future.
That was me... and I also have been in retail as well as coaching/teaching and you are wrong again. There are similarities. And the way it was originally phrased yes you are weak if you allow parents to run you out of a job. Now the way it was later phrased is completely different. If you simply find an opportunity you would rather pursue then great. Life is full of choices. You have a right to choose. Thanks for calling me a clown though. I don't make a habit of calling people names on here. I find those who have to hide behind a keyboard to play tough guy are usually weak.
Here you go 2020 
2020dad posted:ironhorse posted:Coach May's use of the term "beat down" is the most appropriate one I can imagine. People on here saying the HS coach is "weak" for walking away are clowns who don't truly understand the job and never will. People comparing a complaining customer in a retail environment as comparable are equally ignorant (yes I've been in retail and coaching).
It is a thankless job that takes thick skin for sure, but at some point it simply not worth so much time and effort to have the negative pieces start to take over your personal life and impact your family. If you can't understand that basic concept, you're probably the one who will be complaining about playing at some point in the future.
That was me... and I also have been in retail as well as coaching/teaching and you are wrong again. There are similarities. And the way it was originally phrased yes you are weak if you allow parents to run you out of a job. Now the way it was later phrased is completely different. If you simply find an opportunity you would rather pursue then great. Life is full of choices. You have a right to choose. Thanks for calling me a clown though. I don't make a habit of calling people names on here. I find those who have to hide behind a keyboard to play tough guy are usually weak.
Sorry, it was a "clown comment," if that makes everyone feel better. I don't want to come off as mean. Being behind a keyboard and calling a coach weak isn't much different than "calling people names," so don't fall off your high horse there.
Again, the level of harassment some parents can take toward a public HS coach is so far past someone complaining as a customer in a retail environment isn't comparable. I can't even think of similarities other than someone being upset in both instances. No point in arguing it further.
ironhorse posted:2020dad posted:ironhorse posted:Coach May's use of the term "beat down" is the most appropriate one I can imagine. People on here saying the HS coach is "weak" for walking away are clowns who don't truly understand the job and never will. People comparing a complaining customer in a retail environment as comparable are equally ignorant (yes I've been in retail and coaching).
It is a thankless job that takes thick skin for sure, but at some point it simply not worth so much time and effort to have the negative pieces start to take over your personal life and impact your family. If you can't understand that basic concept, you're probably the one who will be complaining about playing at some point in the future.
That was me... and I also have been in retail as well as coaching/teaching and you are wrong again. There are similarities. And the way it was originally phrased yes you are weak if you allow parents to run you out of a job. Now the way it was later phrased is completely different. If you simply find an opportunity you would rather pursue then great. Life is full of choices. You have a right to choose. Thanks for calling me a clown though. I don't make a habit of calling people names on here. I find those who have to hide behind a keyboard to play tough guy are usually weak.
Sorry, it was a "clown comment," if that makes everyone feel better. I don't want to come off as mean. Being behind a keyboard and calling a coach weak isn't much different than "calling people names," so don't fall off your high horse there.
Again, the level of harassment some parents can take toward a public HS coach is so far past someone complaining as a customer in a retail environment isn't comparable. I can't even think of similarities other than someone being upset in both instances. No point in arguing it further.
I very never seen a group of consumers conspire together and start rumors to get a store employee fired.
I had it better than just about any Coach I know at the HS level. Like I previously stated my AD was simply the man. I also had great parents in almost every instance. I had no idea the venom that some could spew towards you, behind your back and in public until I started coaching at the HS level. I was accused of selling drugs to students. This came from a disgruntled parent of a Sr who lost his job to an under classman. The rumor spread like wildfire and I had to go through all kinds of issues because of it. I was called out inside a gas station one morning while getting coffee. A parent of a player who was not getting enough playing time decided he wanted a piece of me. I was confronted after a game in front of the entire crowd by a parent who sold raffle tickets for a fund raiser and thought that should have bought his son more playing time. My wife was cursed out in the stands by a drunk parent because "She" didn't like the fact her son didn't start. I got numerous phone calls at all hours of the night from Grand Parents, Cousins, family members, etc "I just want to talk to you about ____________." I could go on and on.
Before I became the HC the school had not gone to the playoffs in 15 years. It had been years since a player had earned a scholly. No one went on to play college baseball. The field and facilities were a joke. They had not gotten new uniforms in 5 years. In other words it was tough. We turned it completely around and had tremendous success. I worked many many hours a day and ran a free strength and conditioning program the entire summer. I spent a bunch of my own money getting the field up to par. I spent a bunch of my own money on many things we needed. I poured my heart and soul into that program and the players as well. But I can tell you those kind of things I experienced take their toll. If I had not had the complete support of my AD and School Board members I would not have lasted. And I don't believe it would have been because I am weak. It simply would not have been worth it. Worth missing both my son's Middle School games. Missing both my son's summer games most of the time while I worked with my players. Missing time with my family I could never get back.
I know many fine coaches who simply walked away and started coaching showcase teams. Went into private instruction. I can assure you weak would be the last thing I would call any of these men. I gravitated towards the scouting end of things and Showcase coaching. I missed my oldest son's college experience and I wanted to make sure I didn't miss my youngest son's college days. I don't regret that. My son is a college coach and was asked by my former school if he wanted the Baseball HC position. "I love coaching at the college level. There is no way I would ever want to coach at the HS level." I can certainly understand why he feels that way. The players are awesome. Most of the parents are as well. But we live in a day where in sadly too many cases the Administration has no _alls and simply folds and caves at the expense of a person who is willing to sacrifice for others. If you want to talk about weak let's talk about the political hacks who are weak.
I think one would have to actually walk in those shoes to see how they actually fit. Otherwise you really have no clue what your talking about. I had players live with me during their HS years because their home life was so bad. I love my players. I wouldn't take anything for the experience. But I enjoy scouting players much more now. I enjoy going to games and just watching young men chase their dream. Good luck to those coaches. I hope they have the support they need. And if they don't, good luck in your next endeavor.
Three mothers at the middle school went to the principal and got their way. They complained two players had played every inning while their three sons never started. The principal decided it wasn't fair. She ordered the baseball coach to bench the two who played all the time and start the three whose mothers complained.
What happened next could have ticked me off. But it amused me. One mother went around bragging for two games her son had beaten my son out for shortstop. She told people the coach made such a bad mistake my son was benched. It was the last two games of the season so I gave it a big "so what."
The coach fixed the problem the following year. He went with three less players in the roster. The mothers got their kids cut from baseball. They wouldn't have lasted past freshman ball anyway.
While this coach fought back it shows what lengths some parents will go to undermine a coach.
I guess reading is a lost art. So to address one last time the incorrect assertions made regarding me and my statements - and it is a last time because at the risk of seemeing weak and allowing you guys to force me off this thread I am going to CHOOSE to walk away after this!
#1. The weak comment was made regarding if she let parents drive her away from something she loved which is how it was first presented. Not weak to simply CHOOSE to do something else because you find it a better opportunity. But if you melt because some parents don't like you then yes you are weak!!!
#2 the retail comment was made simply on the spirit of stating that coaches shouldn't feel like the Lone Ranger. They are not the only ones in the world tht have to deal with angry people. And there have been cases in the banking business at least where a group of customers who know each other may all express dissatisfaction with a particular employee. But the real point is we need to know what similar means. It doesn't mean exactly the same - it means sort of like! So to nit pick and say the two are not the same is to say... well what I said!! Cause I said similar - if I though they were the same I would have said SAME!!! Now that's not really that hard to understand is it?
#3 I have walked in the shoes!! I do understand. I have dealt with angry parents. But I am not going to cry about it. I just get so tired of the coaches complaining about how unfair it is what they have to deal with. Toughen up!!! Every walk of life deals with something. Every person in the world (I think) has some sort of problems. Can parents be crazy? Yes. Can coaches be egotistical morons who think the sun rises and sets on their ass? Yes. Are there a lot of good parents? Yes. Good coaches? Well fewer than there used to be but yes.
Finally yes I had some issues with parents over the years but nothing to the extent I hear on this site. Maybe it just might have a little to do with treating kids and parents like human beings also.
RJM posted:Three mothers at the middle school went to the principal and got their way. They complained two players had played every inning while their three sons never started. The principal decided it wasn't fair. She ordered the baseball coach to bench the two who played all the time and start the three whose mothers complained.
What happened next could have ticked me off. But it amused me. One mother went around bragging for two games her son had beaten my son out for shortstop. She told people the coach made such a bad mistake my son was benched. It was the last two games of the season so I gave it a big "so what."
The coach fixed the problem the following year. He went with three less players in the roster. The mothers got their kids cut from baseball. They wouldn't have lasted past freshman ball anyway.
While this coach fought back it shows what lengths some parents will go to undermine a coach.
That's on the administration there. And if you want to trash talk administrators I will be there for you all day long lol! Talk about weak. Administrators are the very definition of the word. And I leave AD's out of that however as they are usually (not always) a different breed of administrator who bring some common sense to the table.
2020dad posted:
Finally yes I had some issues with parents over the years but nothing to the extent I hear on this site. Maybe it just might have a little to do with treating kids and parents like human beings also.
May have something to do with being the assistant coach and not the head coach, too.
I guess I will have to work on my reading comprehension. Sorry about that. I didn't realize you were a HS varsity HC. Good luck to you. You guys carry on I have added all I am capable of to this.
ironhorse posted:2020dad posted:
Finally yes I had some issues with parents over the years but nothing to the extent I hear on this site. Maybe it just might have a little to do with treating kids and parents like human beings also.
May have something to do with being the assistant coach and not the head coach, too.
OMG. I was a basketball head coach for many years - or perhaps now you are going to tell me these things are ONLY applicable in baseball.... Geez give me a break.
No. I would think a head varsity basketball coach might experience some of the same things.
The original story is a basketball coach. I posted the story because it's a sports story more than a basketball story. Parents can be a problem in any sport. Coaches saying, "Screw it. I'm out of here." happens in every sport. It happened in wrestling at our high school.
How bad can parents be? ...
When my daughter entered fourth grade an additional new elementary school opened. This involved redrawing the boundaries for five schools rather than four. I spare you the stories and fighting. I'll skip to the end.
At my daughter's elementary school graduation after fifth grade (isn't this foolish) the principal thanked the kids for how seamlessly they adapted to either changing schools or accepting new students. Then she said it would have been nice had the children been positive role models for the parents.
Powerful political PTA positions and home room mother assignments were on the line with the boundary changes. There was some nasty fighting among the mothers.
Coach_May posted:I guess I will have to work on my reading comprehension. Sorry about that. I didn't realize you were a HS varsity HC. Good luck to you. You guys carry on I have added all I am capable of to this.
Appreciate you taking the time to come and post, your comments are always welcome.
ironhorse posted:2020dad posted:ironhorse posted:Coach May's use of the term "beat down" is the most appropriate one I can imagine. People on here saying the HS coach is "weak" for walking away are clowns who don't truly understand the job and never will. People comparing a complaining customer in a retail environment as comparable are equally ignorant (yes I've been in retail and coaching).
It is a thankless job that takes thick skin for sure, but at some point it simply not worth so much time and effort to have the negative pieces start to take over your personal life and impact your family. If you can't understand that basic concept, you're probably the one who will be complaining about playing at some point in the future.
That was me... and I also have been in retail as well as coaching/teaching and you are wrong again. There are similarities. And the way it was originally phrased yes you are weak if you allow parents to run you out of a job. Now the way it was later phrased is completely different. If you simply find an opportunity you would rather pursue then great. Life is full of choices. You have a right to choose. Thanks for calling me a clown though. I don't make a habit of calling people names on here. I find those who have to hide behind a keyboard to play tough guy are usually weak.
Sorry, it was a "clown comment," if that makes everyone feel better. I don't want to come off as mean. Being behind a keyboard and calling a coach weak isn't much different than "calling people names," so don't fall off your high horse there.
Again, the level of harassment some parents can take toward a public HS coach is so far past someone complaining as a customer in a retail environment isn't comparable. I can't even think of similarities other than someone being upset in both instances. No point in arguing it further.
I agree, comparing retail customer issues (and banking industry) to coaches/parent issues is like comparing apples to oranges. There are many HS parents who don't like coaching decisions and will go out of their way to try to get the coach fired or just try to make them miserable. And unless anyone knows exactly what happened in this case, calling the coach weak or to toughen up (buttercup) was unnecessary.
No issue with you making the clown comment, you don't have to apologize.
JMO