2014 Anxiety

Might be one of the best comments I have seen on this site.  Let members voice their opinions and feelings.  It is too often that someone posts something and they get swarmed for a couple words that they chose that are really not relevant to the topic as a whole. 

Also 2014

Also on a rollercoaster

Also going to East Cobb

Also help with email communications as needed

Also know my son can handle pressure and workload of baseball at a difficult school

Also hope a great choice is made soon

It's not my purpose to attack.  It's my purpose to help.  My point is that what he's doing almost certainly is not helping and could well be hindering his son's prospects. Therefore my advice is that he stop.

 

He didn't want to hear it.  I got that message loud and clear.  That doesn't change my message.  And to the extent someone expects me to say, "Well, if you feel that strongly, then I guess the rules of the road are going to be different for you," that's just not helpful at all. 

 

Even if he chooses not to listen, perhaps others will.  That's the point of a web board.

 

As to helping with e-mails, I do recommend that parents help their sons compose e-mails, especially early on, so that the player's note to the coach is written in a manner that projects the player as someone who could succeed at that school.  Also, quite often teenagers are simply not attuned to the fact that overly familiar correspondence or other means of communicating that are common among their peers can land with a thud when received by a middle aged coach.

 

That being said, we're talking about a parent helping a son compose quality correspondence to be sent by the player over the player's name.  This is a very different thing from mom or dad writing the coach on the player's behalf.  That should NEVER happen.  Someone can come on here and pretend it won't matter, but they would be dead wrong.  It does matter, it is never received positively, and it is often received negatively.

Concur with your points...as originally stated and now. Glad you took the time to share them.

Aleebaba,

 

You're not alone on the Anxiety Train with your 2014.  The majority of baseball family's are struggling with the same issues that you are.  My son graduated HS in 2011, and I remember the rollercoaster ride that we were on as a family prior to his commitment.

 

I agree with the majority of everyone else that your son SHOULD BE filling out all questionnaires himself.  If help is needed, of course, it's your responsibility as a parent to guide him.  My son filled out every questionnaire (college & professional). I made photocopies and kept them in a folder.  We kept all written correspondence (email copies & direct mail) in order with each school.  The order was based on the universities apparent interest in my son, and his top choices.  I helped him formulate a contact list with emails and phone numbers for area coaches/recruiters that had shown interest.  Prior to upcoming tournaments, I'd help him put together emails that went out to 15-20 coaches on his list.  I helped with the first, and it was his job to change the name(s) on each subsequent email that went out.  He answered each & every correspondence on his own.  Now, because he was 17-18 years old and didn't have a good grasp on his email account, I admittedly baby sat his email account for several months.

Everything changed on July 1st prior to his senior year of HS.  Obviously, that's the date that coaches can contact players by phone directly.  Teenagers are extremely comfortable with their cell/smart phones and 247son is no different.  Coaches were calling & texting him directly, and I was happy that he had no problem checking his texts, etc....  However, the next few months was sort of a Double Edged Sword, as he continued to receive calls/emails from several coaches, but nobody was pulling the trigger. In the meantime, his friends/teammates were committing to schools. Yes, we were very happy for everyone, but you do begin to wonder when/if your son will get an opportunity?  Plenty of Anxiety indeed.

The Good News for my son is that he had a tremendous showcase tourney in front of several decision makers three weeks prior to the early signing period.  A few of the coaches on his contact/wish list were in attendance, and the following week our family went on a few official recruiting trips.  247son committed about a week prior to the early signing period.

 

I'm not going to lie, it was stressful.  With that said, it was well worth the ride!  It's important that you take a deep breath and enjoy everything, because before you know it 2014 will graduate HS and be off to college....Time Flies!

Whatever happens, do not let your son settle because he feels there are no more options coming.

There are many players who do take offers just because of the program, that doesn't always work out, you would be surprised. 

You,He will understand who really wants your player and not just as a back up guy.

Following the WWBA 18U tourny on Game Changer today while lefthook pitched caused my anxiety to rise a little, since it will probabaly be his only outing there this week ....lol...but it eased after a good outing.....why do we do this to ourselves...hehe

That is bull midlo as you did not get message "loud and clear" and you continue to attack, (with attaboy from greenlight).   You essentially said that because I filled out a questionaire I was a "helicopter parent."  You now keep trying to defend that position, which continues the animosity.  You don't know me or my son, one way or the other.  I don't mind advice, but you generalized and went over the line.  You make good points, but please realize that some of your comments were based on limited information and are ridiculous.  If you are going to keep giving feedback, which you are more than welcome to do so as you are very knowledgeable, please refrain from making huge assumptions on limited information, especially when thread was not meant for you.     

Wow, Aleebaba.  You assert that Midlo Dad "did not get the message 'loud and clear'", and then go on to write a whole paragraph demonstrating that Midlo Dad heard it exactly right-- you don't want to hear his advice.

 

In fact his advice is sound.  It may not be appropriate for your style of parenting, but it is hardly "ridiculous", and doesn't cross any line that I can see.

 

I'm also bemused by the comment "especially when thread was not meant for you."  This is the Recruiting Questions section.  How could a thread not be meant for someone with the wealth of experience Midlo Dad has?  Or does your comment really mean please only respond if I (Aleebaba) will like the response?  The value of any thread lies primarily in informing readers other than the original poster.  If that weren't true, this board couldn't possibly survive.

IMO, a parent filling out a questionaire won't hurt his son's chances, but one sentence from the OP caught my eye: "I have sent emails to colleges."   I strongly believe, as does Midlo Dad, that this can do no good, and very likely will harm a player's standing with college coaches.  (Unless the parent has the resources to make a large donation of money or services to the program, I guess.)

Good Advice.

 I started thread to allow parents of 2014 players to express their anxiety about the process, but instead it got hijiacked by persons that want to express how my actions were hurting my son because I filled out a questionnaire.  Why would anyone express themselves like this in the future just to obtain this unsolicited criticism? . 

Because its sound advice. Sorry you don't like it, Aleebaba. Midlo- I'm behind you 100%.

If a player is getting recruited, a player should be the only one contacting coaches. End of story.

I'm in my 18th year of being a sports parent (two kids). I've never initiated a conversation with one of their coaches or potential coaches nor would I ever consider doing so other than for reasons of mental or physical abuse. I did coach my kids on how to deal with coaches and how to respond to college coaches.

I was once a college recruiter.  If there was a player I really wanted, I didn't care who sent me information. I would communicate with his grandmother if that is what it took to get that player. If I truly wanted to recruit a player, it was a big benefit to communicate with his parents. In fact sometimes I would get a much better feel of what the player was thinking from the parents than anything I could get out of the kid. Often high school kids can unintentionally mislead you. Parents know that you are an adult and their son is not.  

 

That said, it is always best when that recruiter actually wants to talk to you.  If he doesn't that should tell you something.  Filling out a questionnaire is no big deal IMO.  Chances are that dad or mom knows what their son would write.

 

On the other hand, I think what some have stated here is don't get to that stage where any recruiter would have a reason to believe you are one of those "Helicoptor Parents". They will try to avoid you like the plague and they will never tell you why. They might use you to help recruit your son, but they are not recruiting you.

Kevin O'Sullivan (UF) will not recruit a player without recruiting the parents as well.

We spoke to every coach that seriously recruited son.

We helped son fill out those questionaires.  Sometimes he didn't do what he was supposed to but he heard from them anyway.

He took all phone calls and emailed that was where we drew the line (unless it was directed to us which many were).

If a coach likes your son, as PG has stated, they couldn't care less about some of the things mentioned here.

 

I am pretty sure your actions did not hurt your son. 

JMO.

This whole thread reminds me of a thread I started many years ago...younger son came within one batter of throwing a PG in a 13/14 Pony game...I called/changed the pitch that got hit on the last batter...I started a thread as sort of...??...therapy for me...frustrated with myself.

 

I got hammered by half the posters for ever calling pitches...let alone changing a pitch on the last batter.  I felt even crappier after that...boy was I sorry I started that thread.  

 

Aleebaba - You're fine.  I feel the stress...the anxiety...the pain...the frustration.  You and your son have worked hard to attain a dream.  Good stuff!  One way or another, your son will never forget how hard "Dad" worked with him, was interested in him...helped him...and spent countless hours with him.

 

We all help our kids.  Ever helped with homework in grade school?  High school?  Of course...we all have.  To me, there's a wide canyon between what you have done filling out questionnaires (Shhh!  I did some of that too! ) and being a "helicopter parent."  I'd be seriously surprised if "Stotzy" thought I was a "helicopter parent" and I don't see that here at all either.

 

Hang in there.  There's sun over the horizon one way or another.  Don't be afraid to vent...or ask here again.  

I have an observation.

 

Some folks give advice, some people judge. Or maybe some people intend to give advice but aren't aware that when the tell someone else what they should or shouldn't do, it sounds more judgmental than helpful. 

 

Constructive advice is typically expressed in terms of what the poster has done or experienced first hand. This sharing of experiences is invaluable. What I have learned as I have acquired my gray hair is that taking my own experience and layering superlatives like "never" "always", or even "should" can be stepping on a slippery slope. 

 

Not that I haven't fallen into that trap myself...

 

My son is a 2015, and I filled out a few questionaires, but he fills them out now.  He has his own opinions, likes, wants, etc.   I have spoken to coaches on his behalf, most when he was younger.  Although, we were at a regional D-1's Christmas Camp, and I walked past the head coach as I was headed back from the restroom. He approached me to talk to me about my son. at the end of the camp, the assistant asked us to tour the campus with him and said he would like us to visit in the fall. Additionally, my son has been asked to call two D-1 Coaches weekly, and they have told my son that I can call them anytime I want.  So what I am trying to say is, I don't know as much as some because of their halving more experience than me, but I believe coaches are smart enough to know what parents are out of control and which ones are not. I personally will help my son, but I would rather he does the majority of the work. It will be a good learning experience, and the apron strings need to be cut at some point.  Basically, I don't believe you have done anything wrong either, but he should definitely begin to take the lead on his own. 

This thread is almost comical.  I have grown son that is very successful, married with 2 children.  To this day he still asks for my advise and help.  I only wish I had had more help and guidance when I was young.  If everyone would learn to help each other to reach their goals instead of worrying about getting involved, more kids would have a better chance.