2014 Anxiety

Ta ... Would you contact your son's boss on his behalf? Would you do your son's work for him? There's a difference between helping and doing the job for a recruit. These kids need to get to college very prepared with responsibility and time management skills as eighteen year olds. There's very little room to screw up once they're on their own. College baseball is a full time job in addition to attending class and doing homework.

RJM...I see your point as well.  I think everyone should be able to stand on their own two feet.  But at times its comforting to know you do have someone you can count on to be in your corner when you need them.

Ta...  You and Aleebaba need to learn that those who rule this site know everything. They are the great see-ers who have done it and coached in baseball since Jesus. Funny they can coach their sons, but would NEVER write an email on their behalf. What they say, is the only truth.  Without them, we would all be confused as to how to parent, watch baseball, and wipe ourselves. Going against many who have 500+ posts is like staring into the sun...not advised and very dangerous.

Ta...  You and Aleebaba need to learn that those who rule this site know everything. They are the great see-ers who have done it and coached in baseball since Jesus. Funny they can coach their sons, but would NEVER write an email on their behalf. What they say, is the only truth.  Without them, we would all be confused as to how to parent, watch baseball, and wipe ourselves. Going against many who have 500+ posts is like staring into the sun...not advised and very dangerous.

I don't think anyone is saying it is not comforting to know you have someone you can count on to be in your corner when you need them. That's like motherhood and apple pie, I think.

 

I think the issue is whether Daddy should be filling out college questionnaires for a rising senior because the rising senior is too tired to do it himself after a doubleheader, and whether Daddy should be sending emails to college coaches.

 

Some say that's cool. I disagree for reasons stated way back in the thread. Give a young man a fish, he can have a good meal. Teach him how to fish, he can feed himself forever.

Gappower...I didn't know I was going against any one.  I was stating my opinion.  Last time I checked there is no perfect way to parent.  And by all means, I need all the suggestions I can get.  I may not follow all of them, but I would rather learn from someone else's mistake.

Like it or not if the kid can play coaches dont care who sends what..If he cant it also wont matter

 

talent speaks...now how to get the coaches to see the talent is the hard part at times

Just for the record regarding parenting.  I don't go there! When I was young I was an expert, so I thought.  I now know that was not so then and not so now. My only suggestion is do the best you can.  

 

This thread is not about parenting IMO.  It is about recruiting and several people on this site have been through that experience.  The thing that gets lost sometimes in these discussions is the talent level of the player we are discussing.  I can say with all certainty that there are players out there that are so talented that many (not all) colleges will want them no matter what the parents do or say. Then there are players with enough talent to play at a given college, that are not worth the grief of dealing with a "helicopter parent".  If the player is border line, the parent can push him up or down in decision making for the recruiter.  Need to understand that most successful recruiters have dealt with many players and parents.  They actually do have a lot of experience with parents.  On the other hand, most parents do not have a much experience dealing with college recruiters or MLB scouts.  

 

Bottom line, you can look at people here as "knowitalls" or you can digest what is said and do as you please.  Guess I never understood this "old timer" feeling some think exists on this site. We all know there are people out there that are extremely knowledgable that have never posted here.  Their next post would be their first.  I don't think that someone who has posted 500 or even 1,000 posts is what is most important. What might be more important is that they have probably read at least 10 times that number of posts in that same time.  It's pretty hard to read that much and not learn something.  I know I have learned a lot from reading posts on this site.  Whether an "old timer" or first time poster, we can always learn something new from each other. If not... I guess "know-it-all" does fit.

There are x number of players who have so much talent other variables will be overlooked. My son was all this and all that in high school. But he was not all world. I knew it was going to be the presentation of the entire package that was going to separate him from a thousand other players with comparable talent. I knew any misstep I took had the potential to be viewed as a negative by a college coach. I never stepped forward until approached.

PG has a point. The number next to my name may reflect how many posts I've made. What it doesn't reflect without thought is the tens of thousands of posts I've read. When I post an opinion it's not always personal experience. Often it's the collective experiences of others I respect who have also been there and done it.

 

When it's all said and done posts are advice and opinions. No one is telling anyone it's what they have to do. The posts are experience and sometimes warnings of potential consequences if things are done differently. Unfortunately some of the know it alls learned the hard way by making mistakes. That's why they are the most emphatic regarding doing the right thing so someone else doesn't make the same mistakes.

 

Ive been through the recruiting experience twice. I wish I knew the first time what I knew the second time.

what is a helicoptor parent, maybe we could formulate a test for parents to take.

Bacdorslider,

good question, you might get a different definition depending on who you talked to.  Not sure I would describe the following a helicopter parent, but it sure spoke volumes.

We were doing an event and watched one of the top players enter the park with his parents.  He was a catcher and his dad was carrying one bag along with dragging a cooler.  His mom sort of struggling carrying a big bag with his catchers equipment.  The player was walking in front of them with his earphones on and carrying nothing. During the games and workout he would wiggle his finger to his parents and they would run down and give him something to drink.

he was one of the most talented kids at that event, but I would not have been interested in recruiting him based on watching him enter the park.  He did end up with a great scholarship in a national power program.  He only lasted one year there before we completely lost track of him.

Sounds like we might have a spin off thread to come up with a list of names for the different types of parents....hehe

 

Good point on your last post PG...I have tried to teach my son that he will be judged from the minute he steps foot out of the bus, car, dugout etc., and that he must carry himself accordingly.  It is not hard to spot the better players by the way they present themselves at all times, the way they walk, talk, interact with others....

 

I see a helicopter parent as the type that circles around their kid at all times, watching and waiting to interject themselves into the situation at anytime they see fit......maybe they should be called "hovercraft" parents instead

PG ... Your example appears to me to be one of a kid who is spoiled and pampered. 

 

There have been many articles written on helicopter parents. The term helicopter is about parents who hover over their kids lives. The parents manage most aspects of their kid's life. The kid doesn't learn to think and act for himself. The parents fight all his battles. The reason the term helicopter parent became such a big deal and garnered attention is the parents of college kids and kids in the working world whose affairs are still being managed by the parents. The parents are calling professors to fight for better grades. They're calling bosses of college graduates to argue for raises, promotions and to have discussions when junior doesn't feel he was treated well by the boss.

 

Back in 8th grade I asked my son how he did on a class project. He smiled and said he got the second best grade to Mrs. Smith. Even the kids knew Billy Smith wasn't doing his own projects. The work was too mature for a kid. The kid may get an A but it doesn't teach him how to be responsible. 

For the record, I agree with most everything being said here about parents letting their kids do for themselves, as it is there life and they need learn how to become more adult like given the challenges ahead.  The problems come when posters make generalizations on a few issues, and start criticizing.  If you ever met me, or my wife, you would never describe us as "helicopter parents"  In fact, my son has more freedom and independence than most of his peers, as he has earned it.  It is alright for us to disagree about a few parenting details, we just need to keep the judgments to a minimum as it creates unnecessary hostility. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicopter_parent

 

http://tweenparenting.about.co...elicopterparents.htm

Ah come on.  Silly post.  Silly stuff...and thats from someone (me) who has a lotta posts AND is quite empathetic with Aleebaba and Ta.

You're too kind (in first part of that)!

 

In my book you're doing fine.  Hang in there and do what you know you need to do as a good parent.  It'll all work out.  

You know it when you see it.  Aleebaba isn't one of them.

I think everyone ought to do things the way they see fit and there is no need to justify to other people.

 

This much I know about parenting.  The best parents are grandparents.  I am 100 times a better parent to my grandson than I was to my own kids.  Don't wig out about things anymore and take things MUCH, MUCH less seriously. 

 

I also know this.  The better the kid, the better the parent "appears" to be and the easier it is to be a parent frankly.  How do I know this?

 

I have three kids.  Two of them would get me elected as the national parent of the year and most likely put me in the parenting hall of fame.  The other one, my problem child is still a major problem to me at 28 years old.  He has never grown up.  If you were to judge me on him alone, you would swear I was the WORST parent of all time.

 

I am convinced kids are who they are when they are born.  I saw a documentary on twins the other day who have been separated and it highly confirms my suspicions here.  I refuse to take credit for my two highly accomplished ones but I will conversely not take all the blame for my problem child.  FWIW...