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We had ours already, these are my take aways:

1. No outside lessons or Travel ball while HS is in season, we want one voice in your kids head, not an overpaid instructor telling him we are teaching him wrong and not to listen to us.

2.  This is not pay to play, I don't have to play your son, he has to earn it.

3. Don't bring anything to the dugout that you don't want split 20 ways. I will provide water and they will be fed before every game.

4. JV is the training ground for future varsity, I will send down Varsity guys now and then to knock the rust off if they aren't getting playing time on Varsity.

5. Here are the pitch count rules for Georgia, I don't like them, here are my lower pitch count rules.

6. Here are the school breaks, here are our games and practices during these breaks, don't make plans to leave that week.

7. This is what I expect the players to wear, that I have provided.  Here is a link to the baseball store if you want to get another set.

8. We need sponsors, here are the forms, here is our VP to give examples of how best to use these forms. Also to talk about the other volunteer committees and your concession stand obligation and fees for the season.

9. Here are all our coaches, here is their background.

10. If your kid has a problem with his playing time he needs to talk to me.  We will discuss it, I will not discus his playing time with you the parent.  If my discussion with the player doesn't satisfy you we will hold a meeting with the player, the parent, every coach that is available that day, and the athletic director.

11. While it is sometimes obvious to us, IF your child has an injury that they are not telling us about please send me an email, or text, or call.  You will find my number in the packet here.  We don't play hurt players, here is our athletic trainer that we share with the lacrosse and soccer team to explain about that. (insert list of doctors that will see a player within 24 hours)

12. Here is our practice days and times.

13. Here are our game schedules, we have buses on these days, we don't on these days.  Yu can see the JV season ends on 4/1, I will be pulling up some of the JV players to finish the Varsity season out until mid May.

14. If it rains we will have JV have a study hall from 3:30-5, while Varsity hits, since most of them drive to school.  JV will then hit at 5. We don't cancel due to rain.

15.  I'll be spending a lot of time with your son.  I will treat him like my own, and that means getting onto him when he's being a knucklehead.  If he says I yelled at him he's probably telling the truth, but I also love them like my own, so remember that.

ironhorse posted:

I know how to run them, believe me, but what information do you want as a parent? That's a standard parent meeting there, which is more than acceptable. I've never been a parent of a HS athlete, so I'm wondering what parents want to hear. That's all.

All that stuff was helpful to know, if I still remember it 3 weeks later.

The preseason parent-coach meetings we went to were similar. 

One additional item the coach had was the concussion protocol which all parents had to read and sign.  This was mandatory for all sports.

The coach also indicated his door was always open, but if you (the parent) have an issue to discuss he requested you make an appointment.  He would not meet and discuss immediately after a game or practice - too many things he had to oversee.

The point he emphasized the most is he would NOT discuss playing time with parents.  Until the school tells him otherwise, it is HIS team to run and that includes setting the starting lineup.  He makes that decision based on what HE sees in practice and as the season progresses, performance in games.

I know this may be sore subject with some, but my son's HS coach requested that parents NOT attend practice.   He felt it would be a distraction and not that he had anything to hide.  If a parent really felt the need to attend a practice, meet with him and he would set up a day for you to attend, but it would not be a license to attend all practices.  To my knowledge, no one ever made a request to attend a practice.

ironhorse posted:

I know how to run them, believe me, but what information do you want as a parent? That's a standard parent meeting there, which is more than acceptable. I've never been a parent of a HS athlete, so I'm wondering what parents want to hear. That's all.

Something that our coaches tell the parents, which I think is useful, is their approach of younger vs older guys. They say if two guys are equal in the coaches' eyes, the coaches will play the younger guy. The older guy has to be better than, not equal to, the younger guy, in order to win the competition. I think it is good for parents to hear that. And they also tell the parents that their decisions are aimed towards the success of "Program - Team - Player, in that order" which again is something that is useful for the parents to hear.

As to what a parent wants to hear, it would go something like this: "The coaches have decided that your son is the starting shortstop and will bat third every game." 

for freshman,  uniform do we need to get certain socks or pants or is school providing.    practice times,   dont expect to go on spring break but what is the schedule that week.   Actually looked at schedule we are playing games during spring break  maybe just point that out.  whatever team rules.      

potentially on the side with pitchers,  but what is weekly routine,   do they need to long toss,  throw bullpens midweek or are you handling the staff and having them follow your protocol.     

the rest i expect coach speak.  

Last edited by gunner34

I think most parents want to know...

Who is my kid spending three hours a day with?  What are their qualifications?  What are their rules and guidelines?  What will they be teaching my son, baseball and otherwise?

What is my son responsible for?

What am I responsible for?  How much will it cost?

What volunteering are you going to hit me up for?

What is the schedule?  What do we do about things that come up that conflict?

If questions come up, what is proper protocol?

(for some...) My kid takes lessons/goes to trainer... should we continue during season?

(for some...) My kid has aspirations to play in college.  What is your role in this pursuit?

What names are we aloud to call the umpires? 

Last edited by cabbagedad

Our high school baseball program was a losing, country club environment for twenty years before the regime change. I’ll never forget this comment from the new coach ...

I'm aware in the past players missed games and practices while going away during Easter vacation. You may still go on vacation if you wish. Remember to turn in your uniform before leaving. 

Without blinking he moved on to the next bullet in his notes. 

RJM posted:

Our high school baseball program was a losing, country club environment for twenty years before the regime change. I’ll never forget this comment from the new coach ...

I'm aware in the past players missed games and practices while going away during Easter vacation. You may still go on vacation if you wish. Remember to turn in your uniform before leaving. 

Without blinking he moved on to the next bullet in his notes. 

Love it!

As a freshman parent, I would want to know if you permit/forbid outside lessons and strength/agility/speed training. I also want you to be very specific about every topic you cover. Remember there are brand new parents each year that have no understanding at all about the program. I want to know the exact cost for my son this year (or a very close estimate), and what fundraising we are required to do. Tell me if there are mandatory time commitments for parents for fundraising or any other activities. Expectations about fan behavior (if you have specific expectations).  And please put the important stuff on a handout because us newbies will be excited and overwhelmed and never remember everything you tell us. 

As a general related comment, I want the coach to run an organized baseball program and the parent meeting sets the tone. So make sure your speech is well prepared (which you appear to be doing by seeking input here). Most coaches can't run an organized program if they don't designate some non-coaching duties (such as having a team coordinator/team parent to handle all the non-coaching administrative stuff). Maybe it's just me, but I think it speaks volumes about the potential success of a program when a HS coach is constantly begging for concession stand volunteers on social media. 

Cover all the basics as you mentioned you already do.

In addition to that, specify what YOUR rules are outside of the lines.  For example, the county has a rule that if a student is failing two classes, they cannot attend any team functions (practice/games).  The coach's rule is that if a player is failing ONE class, they're off until they bring it up.  Since his rule is more restrictive than the county mandate, it's important to know.

Likewise about partying.  Coach outlines the county policy, then makes it clear that if he sees a picture on a player on social media at a function with a red solo cup, he'll assume it's alcohol and the kid will be kicked off the team (not suspended, off the team for remainder of season).

So if your rules are lockstep with the school/county, let them know.  If they're more restrictive, let them know.

Obviously, spell out your expectations for parents, i.e., coaching them during games, how they carry themselves, etc., and what to expect if they can't comply.

Tug Tide posted:

Are JV players required to stay for varsity games ?

The HS my son will attend next yr as freshman, the coach keeps the JV guys around for home games (field work, shagging fouls) and cuts them loose on road days.

Yes, this! Freshmen played before JV and they were expected to stay and support JV team. We didn't know that until first game and had to make last minute transportation arrangements. Tell us when you want him there: xx minutes/hours before home games (and any road game transportation arrangements/rules). Also tell us if he is required to stay after game ends to do any tasks.

Also what NUKE83 said about grade and behavior expectations. These freshman kids are getting exposed to juniors and seniors and may be exposed to older kid temptations. Peer pressure is harder to resist when it's your older teammates you respect. This sounds so obvious that many coaches don't say it, but make sure you mention your prohibition on drug use to your players as well. We had this problem last year and the coach was either clueless or purposely turned a blind eye.

And a friendly suggestion: find a local cleaners who will give you a deal to clean your uniforms with pick up/drop off service to the field. Most parents will GLADLY pay! Our cleaning fee is $150 per kid, and worth every penny. Kids left dirty uniforms after games and picked them up when they showed up for next game. No scrubbing for us, and both us don't have to worry about kids showing up in the wrong uniform/belt etc. Fabulous!

For the freshman parent with a kid on Varsity, some things I didn't expect  had to do with his age difference than most of the team.  (i.e. No driver's license yet, so knowing how long practice is and rain out information was critical to transportation issues).  There was also an out of state trip that he flew with the team and since he didn't have a license or permit yet, I had to get him an ID card so he could fly on the plane without his parents (his passport was expired and the trip was 3 weeks after he made the team.)  Even though you can't anticipate every unique situation, I wish the coach would've pulled us aside for a few minutes after the meeting to answer unique questions pertaining to our situation...we didn't even know to ask these until they actually came up.

Nuke83 posted:

Likewise about partying.  Coach outlines the county policy, then makes it clear that if he sees a picture on a player on social media at a function with a red solo cup, he'll assume it's alcohol and the kid will be kicked off the team (not suspended, off the team for remainder of season).

Good luck with that.   There was an incident locally last year where a photo of a softball player (a starter) holding a red Solo cup (or a beer can - can't remember which) at a party which was posted on social media.  Softball coach caught wind of it and cut said player from the team in accordance with school rules.   Parents appealed to the principal arguing the photo only showed her "holding" the beverage and not actually drinking from it.   Principal reinstated the player with a 5 game suspension and totally undermined the coach's authority.  This was about halfway through a 20 game season.

As a result of the principal's actions, the coach resigned which was a shame as she had led the team to two appearances in the state finals.

Last edited by FoxDad
FoxDad posted:
Nuke83 posted:

Likewise about partying.  Coach outlines the county policy, then makes it clear that if he sees a picture on a player on social media at a function with a red solo cup, he'll assume it's alcohol and the kid will be kicked off the team (not suspended, off the team for remainder of season).

Good luck with that.   There was an incident locally last year where a photo of a softball player (a starter) holding a red Solo cup (or a beer can - can't remember which) at a party which was posted on social media.  Softball coach caught wind of it and cut said player from the team in accordance with school rules.   Parents appealed to the principal arguing the photo only showed her "holding" the beverage and not actually drinking from it.   Principal reinstated the player with a 5 game suspension and totally undermined the coach's authority.  This was about halfway through a 20 game season.

As a result of the principal's actions, the coach resigned which was a shame as she had led the team to two appearances in the state finals.

Listen, these are 16-18 year old KIDS. 

We all wish they didn't touch alcohol at all, and spent all their time on school, sports, and innocently with their friends. 

However, we KNOW that's not going to be the case for the most part.  

So chill out with the drinking rules.  Make some sort of punishment, whether it's running-related or something like that, or a 1-3 game suspension, and leave it at that.

I'm not even pro-drinking, but drinking a beer your senior year of high school doesn't mean you should get suspended for the rest of the year  ..

Lighten up and remember what most high school kids are like.. tell them to be safe and be smart... and help them learn and become better men through it all   

 

Pipes2 posted:
FoxDad posted:
Nuke83 posted:

Likewise about partying.  Coach outlines the county policy, then makes it clear that if he sees a picture on a player on social media at a function with a red solo cup, he'll assume it's alcohol and the kid will be kicked off the team (not suspended, off the team for remainder of season).

Good luck with that.   There was an incident locally last year where a photo of a softball player (a starter) holding a red Solo cup (or a beer can - can't remember which) at a party which was posted on social media.  Softball coach caught wind of it and cut said player from the team in accordance with school rules.   Parents appealed to the principal arguing the photo only showed her "holding" the beverage and not actually drinking from it.   Principal reinstated the player with a 5 game suspension and totally undermined the coach's authority.  This was about halfway through a 20 game season.

As a result of the principal's actions, the coach resigned which was a shame as she had led the team to two appearances in the state finals.

Listen, these are 16-18 year old KIDS. 

We all wish they didn't touch alcohol at all, and spent all their time on school, sports, and innocently with their friends. 

However, we KNOW that's not going to be the case for the most part.  

So chill out with the drinking rules.  Make some sort of punishment, whether it's running-related or something like that, or a 1-3 game suspension, and leave it at that.

I'm not even pro-drinking, but drinking a beer your senior year of high school doesn't mean you should get suspended for the rest of the year  ..

Lighten up and remember what most high school kids are like.. tell them to be safe and be smart... and help them learn and become better men through it all   

 

That's a pretty slippery slope there.  It was only one stolen car.  It was only shoplifting a pair of sunglasses.  It was only a misdemeanor not a felony. 

How about rules are rules? Follow the rules, or there are consequences, that's how I plan on helping my son become a better man.

Pipes2 posted:
FoxDad posted:
Nuke83 posted:

Likewise about partying.  Coach outlines the county policy, then makes it clear that if he sees a picture on a player on social media at a function with a red solo cup, he'll assume it's alcohol and the kid will be kicked off the team (not suspended, off the team for remainder of season).

Good luck with that.   There was an incident locally last year where a photo of a softball player (a starter) holding a red Solo cup (or a beer can - can't remember which) at a party which was posted on social media.  Softball coach caught wind of it and cut said player from the team in accordance with school rules.   Parents appealed to the principal arguing the photo only showed her "holding" the beverage and not actually drinking from it.   Principal reinstated the player with a 5 game suspension and totally undermined the coach's authority.  This was about halfway through a 20 game season.

As a result of the principal's actions, the coach resigned which was a shame as she had led the team to two appearances in the state finals.

Listen, these are 16-18 year old KIDS. 

We all wish they didn't touch alcohol at all, and spent all their time on school, sports, and innocently with their friends. 

However, we KNOW that's not going to be the case for the most part.  

So chill out with the drinking rules.  Make some sort of punishment, whether it's running-related or something like that, or a 1-3 game suspension, and leave it at that.

I'm not even pro-drinking, but drinking a beer your senior year of high school doesn't mean you should get suspended for the rest of the year  ..

Lighten up and remember what most high school kids are like.. tell them to be safe and be smart... and help them learn and become better men through it all   

 

Let's be clear - she wasn't initially suspended from school - only kicked off the team.   The punishment was revised to a 5 game suspension.

My point was not to be anti-drinking, but to point out that even when school policy is "violated" and the coach or teacher follows said policy, it can be overturned and the coaches/teachers authority undermined.  Parents will sometimes do anything to keep their child on the team.

FWIW - yeah, I drank as a teenager, but that doesn't mean I condone teenage drinking either.

I agree with Caco - it's a real slippery slope.  Okay - so it's only one drink which potentially leads to another to......well you get the point.  There are rules and if rules are broken, then there are consequences - that's how society works.

And if you wanna tell me she was only "holding" the cup/beer can, yeah right.  These are teenagers we are talking about - whose brains and cognitive thinking are still developing.

When's the last time you "held" a beer can or alcoholic beverage and didn't take a drink?

 

I better tell my wife to clean out the pantry to get rid of the solo cups. I probably have 20-30 pictures of some of our travel team players at my house drinking lemonade, soda, etc from them. We have 3 sons and with a few more hanging out, it's just easier to give them a plastic cup and write their name or number on it. Guess we better re-think this as they hit HS next year. 

Now I would totally support a coach removing a player for being caught drinking, but not for a picture with a cup. 

Pipes2 posted:
FoxDad posted:
Nuke83 posted:

Likewise about partying.  Coach outlines the county policy, then makes it clear that if he sees a picture on a player on social media at a function with a red solo cup, he'll assume it's alcohol and the kid will be kicked off the team (not suspended, off the team for remainder of season).

Good luck with that.   There was an incident locally last year where a photo of a softball player (a starter) holding a red Solo cup (or a beer can - can't remember which) at a party which was posted on social media.  Softball coach caught wind of it and cut said player from the team in accordance with school rules.   Parents appealed to the principal arguing the photo only showed her "holding" the beverage and not actually drinking from it.   Principal reinstated the player with a 5 game suspension and totally undermined the coach's authority.  This was about halfway through a 20 game season.

As a result of the principal's actions, the coach resigned which was a shame as she had led the team to two appearances in the state finals.

Listen, these are 16-18 year old KIDS. 

We all wish they didn't touch alcohol at all, and spent all their time on school, sports, and innocently with their friends. 

However, we KNOW that's not going to be the case for the most part.  

So chill out with the drinking rules.  Make some sort of punishment, whether it's running-related or something like that, or a 1-3 game suspension, and leave it at that.

I'm not even pro-drinking, but drinking a beer your senior year of high school doesn't mean you should get suspended for the rest of the year  ..

Lighten up and remember what most high school kids are like.. tell them to be safe and be smart... and help them learn and become better men through it all   

 

That's not even a slightly real world approach and in no way an enforceable policy at all. 

I understand the sentiment, but it's just not doable.

Actually, Pipes2's approach is straight from the real world; it's a "punishment fits the crime approach" to teaching accountability. I'm a former criminal prosecutor so I strongly believe in accountability. However, the punishment should fit the crime. We don't take someone's license away permanently  if they speed one time or even if they get one DUI. That is a similar comparison to a player being kicked off a team for 1 rule violation (any rule short of committing a violent felony). The adult criminal justice system includes probation and diversion programs which are designed to allow us adults to learn from 1 time mistakes without suffering life long consequences.

We should at least give kids the same chance to learn from their mistakes. There is a reason that juveniles are treated differently under the law and can only be tried as adults in very rare circumstances:  the scientific evidence proves that kids' brains are not fully formed and therefore their decision making capacity is limited. So they deserve at least the same chance of redemption in their HS sports career. Suspension from games or some other consequence for a first rule violation is a reasonable way to hold a first offender accountable to the team/school.

Sorry to get back on topic but having spent time on both sides of fence (coach/parent), I would make sure you talk about recruiting and working with coaches (strength, pitching, hitting, etc.) outside of the program. In my experience as a parent, listening and talking with other parents, these two issues come up the most.

Our HS program had their first meeting dedicated just to recruiting this year. I did not attend because my son was already committed but heard that parents appreciated the info and had lots of questions. 

Coaches in all sports at our school are getting better at working with players who choose to train outside of school. I was one of those coaches who used to get pissed and bad mouth training outside of school. I think most of us are learning that parents/players will continue to do so weather we like it or not. We now talk more about communication and making sure that players, trainers, parents, and coaches are all on the same page. For the most part it is working much better then the old school way of "our way or the highway" mentality.

So Johnny gets in trouble for a picture with one beer?

What about passed out drunk at a party?

What about drunk at a school function?

What about smoking one joint? 

What about holding a joint in a picture but not smoking it?

What about prescription pills?

What about cocaine?

What about sexual assault? (I mean, we're "remembering what high school kids are like", right?)

It may seem like a "real world" policy, but the real world has a slightly detailed penal code and judges and lawyers and due process and blah, blah, blah.

I have trouble convincing parents that they're kid hitting.118 with 20 K's shouldn't start at 1b. You think I 'm going to spend days and weeks creating a sliding scale policy of offenses that most adults have different views on anyway? And then when a kid gets in trouble try and explain the parents and the kids in the program why one offense is better or worse than another? No thanks.

If you're dumb enough to have pictures of yourself on social media doing illegal things that's on you.

 

 

 

Chicago643 posted:

Parents of aspiring college players will want to know: If Johnny is not a starter and a college is coming to see him play because they are considering offering him, will you ensure he is on the field for the coach coming to see him?

Parents may want this answer at the pre-season meeting, but I would highly doubt any reasonable coach would address this in an open forum.  Surely this can be addressed through some back channels, most appropriately through communications between player/HC/college scout.

Zia2021 posted:

Actually, Pipes2's approach is straight from the real world; it's a "punishment fits the crime approach" to teaching accountability. I'm a former criminal prosecutor so I strongly believe in accountability. However, the punishment should fit the crime. We don't take someone's license away permanently  if they speed one time or even if they get one DUI. That is a similar comparison to a player being kicked off a team for 1 rule violation (any rule short of committing a violent felony). The adult criminal justice system includes probation and diversion programs which are designed to allow us adults to learn from 1 time mistakes without suffering life long consequences.

We should at least give kids the same chance to learn from their mistakes. There is a reason that juveniles are treated differently under the law and can only be tried as adults in very rare circumstances:  the scientific evidence proves that kids' brains are not fully formed and therefore their decision making capacity is limited. So they deserve at least the same chance of redemption in their HS sports career. Suspension from games or some other consequence for a first rule violation is a reasonable way to hold a first offender accountable to the team/school.

Real world in the US you mean....just a little snipet here from wikipedia:

The United States has the largest prison population in the world,[3][4][5] and the second-highest per-capita incarceration rate, behind Seychelles (which in 2014 had a total prison population of 735 out of a population of around 92,000).[3][6] In 2013 in the US, there were 698 people incarcerated per 100,000 population. This is the U.S. incarceration rate for adults or people tried as adults.[7][3]

I'll stick with my rules and consequences scenario at my house.

P.S. Already told son, if you get arrested for doing something stupid you will not be bailed out for 24 hours.  He mentions this often to his friends for some reason.

2017LHPscrewball posted:
Chicago643 posted:

Parents of aspiring college players will want to know: If Johnny is not a starter and a college is coming to see him play because they are considering offering him, will you ensure he is on the field for the coach coming to see him?

Parents may want this answer at the pre-season meeting, but I would highly doubt any reasonable coach would address this in an open forum.  Surely this can be addressed through some back channels, most appropriately through communications between player/HC/college scout.

I would guess there would be communication from the college to the coach prior to a trip regarding when he would be playing.

ironhorse posted:

So Johnny gets in trouble for a picture with one beer?

What about passed out drunk at a party?

What about drunk at a school function?

What about smoking one joint? 

What about holding a joint in a picture but not smoking it?

What about prescription pills?

What about cocaine?

What about sexual assault? (I mean, we're "remembering what high school kids are like", right?)

It may seem like a "real world" policy, but the real world has a slightly detailed penal code and judges and lawyers and due process and blah, blah, blah.

I have trouble convincing parents that they're kid hitting.118 with 20 K's shouldn't start at 1b. You think I 'm going to spend days and weeks creating a sliding scale policy of offenses that most adults have different views on anyway? And then when a kid gets in trouble try and explain the parents and the kids in the program why one offense is better or worse than another? No thanks.

If you're dumb enough to have pictures of yourself on social media doing illegal things that's on you.

 

 

 

Good point about avoiding the sliding scale, but some "pictures" are not what they always appear.  The whole red solo cup thing is a non-starter.  If my kid went to some party and kids were downing beers, I might assume my kid was drinking lemonade if he was holding the red cup.  If he is in a picture holding the "cup" with other kids holding beers, should he get suspended - should that be the same as showing up to school drunk?  As for smoking one joint, I hope you are not equating that as more egregious than passing out drunk.  By the way, where does smokeless tobacco fit into the scale?

True story - I was on a youth summer church trip (3 weeks out west).  I took 2-3 of those disposable Kodak cameras.  My dad got them developed when I got back.  I happened to take a picture of a friend who happened to be pretending to smoke a joint (remember those old photos - not real clear shots).  My dad confronted me asking me if we had all smoked weed on the trip.  I seriously did not know what to say.  My attempts to pass it off as a joke were not well received.  I sort of equate this to the solo cup post.  

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