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Don't post here as often as I used to, but wanted to share something that I hope will help ground us all in what is really important about our kids playing baseball...

My college sophomore-age son has had a bit of a frustrating year so far.  He has given up 2 runs that were really unearned (left fielder lost an easy pop up in the sun) but has been stuck in the bullpen and hasn't seen much time on the mound.  Don't get me wrong, my son isn't the ace of the team.  He's a good pitcher but so are many others on the team.

He and I were texting earlier this week and  I asked him about the situation and what I got was a response that made me pause... "I can't control it, I am going to do me and let the rest work itself out."

 This lesson is going to serve him well for the rest of his life.  Honestly — it's why I think we all should be thrilled our kids play baseball…the life lessons are bigger than the plays on the field.  

Sometimes — I think we as baseball parents lose our perspective.

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Sometimes parents become protective of their kids when they don’t need it. One time in high school I was ticked off at my son’s coach. I thought he publicly humiliated him. When I brought it up in the car a second time my son snapped at me, “Get over it! I have.”

Last edited by RJM

I am sorry I missed this post.  I am coaching a young lady who has tremendous potential but as I tell her, potential means that she hasn't done anything yet.  She can't help herself.  She is so negative about her ability and beats herself up all of the time.  On Friday, we were hitting live and I had made my mind up that I needed to be quiet and let her swing.  Sometimes, a coach can over coach and do more damage than good.  So, she hits a couple out and says to me, "sometimes I just have to get out of my own way."  Yup!  It is pretty neat when they finally do figure things out.  It seems you have done well as a parent.  

Going through a similar situation with my college freshman. The team is doing well. Strong starting rotation with pitchers going deep into games. Deep bullpen, several guys in front of him. He is not seeing many innings. My heart is breaking for him.

But the team is tight. He is making some good friends. He is getting good mentoring from the senior guys. If I bring it up with him he is dismissive and protective of the team. He seems to be embracing his situation.

All in all I am pretty happy for my little guy. He is adjusting well to the next level.

Last edited by CmassRHPDad

So, I've thought long and hard about this topic.....life lessons for a 18-22 year old college athlete.  What would I say?  I think it is really important to walk away from your college athletic experience with something positive that you can lean on for the rest of your life.   Here are my thoughts....

Looking back almost 6 years ago now, my oldest son had an injury after his team won their conference, he was selected first team all-conference and his team appeared in the D1 NCAA regionals.  He had a great freshmen and sophomore year earning conference starts on the mound then the injury bug just bit him on the way to NCAA regionals.  He went from a high to low very quickly, but handled it well.   He worked his tookus off to get healthy his junior year, never wavered to try to get back on the mound and get his starting pitching position back.  Senior year, he had some starts, relief and actually closed a game (his only close) in his last college appearance as a senior.   Injurys are extremely difficult to deal with both mentally and physically.  Some people never come back from them simply because their injuries are too extensive.   Through all of this he stayed positive and kept focusing on baseball and school.  His junior year would be his best academic year getting all A's while being injured.  He was also exposed to some research labs on campus that would be important for him professionally after graduation.  

It has been said injurys are part of being an (college) athlete .  True.  But I think it is more about how you deal with the injury, and pivot to the next important thing in your life or move onto something new if the injury is severe.   Athletes are trained to go after things 100%.  Perseverance and single-mindedness can go a long way.  I know it did teach my son something about himself that he'll use later in life.

As always, JMO. 

Last edited by fenwaysouth

I echo what Fenway writes. Learning how to deal with disappointment in baseball can provide the opportunity to pivot to other things. Additionally, for freshman the transition to college ball and life can be extremely bumpy.

My son didn't have the injury problem; he had the throw the ball over the plate problem. The problem lasted three years; indeed, he appears very high in his college record book for game, season, and career walks, hit batters, and wild pitches. 

As a highly touted freshman, his identity was skewed primarily to baseball. Up to college, it had been soooooo "easy" - put in the hard work and results happened. Then in college it changed - the hard work didn't lead to results. 

But, he did his growing (thankfully far away cross country) and I tried to grow also (he succeeded much quicker than I). He developed outside interests and made non-baseball friends. When he was left off the traveling squad his last trip junior year, he decided to focus on his next 40 years and got a good summer job (turning down several summer baseball offers), got and accepted a permanent job offer in October senior year.

Something clicked senior year, and he found his baseball footing; but, fast forward and he eventually went to work for the company which hired him senior year. His job required (in addition to some hard, learned skills) the soft skills acquired as a team player - leadership, teamwork, team goals and support, etc. Three years of work later, he gets frequent job recognition (expressed in words and money), transferred his competitive streak to golf, has a stable home life and is putting down roots.

My moral: baseball failures forced him to reflect and adjust his life and gave him some much needed perspective. Baseball has been very very good to him, after all is said and done.

 

When you step outside of baseball — isn't the entire point of college to teach our children how to be adults, to learn how to make that transition from being a kid to being able to bend and bounce with the twists and turns of life?  So thankful that our kids have the added bonus of  playing a game they love, learning how to be a teammate, to understand what it means to really grind.

 

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