Advice For The Kid Who Makes A Higher Roster Than His Classmates

I would not say a thing other than congrats, keep working hard, and have fun. 

It's a non-issue, in my experience and opinion. Hopefully your kid doesn't overthink it the way you are.

My son was a freshmen on Varsity and starting catcher , who batted in the 9th spot  to start off , then by end of year he was batting 3rd in the playoffs , let me say this . It’s not easy to play with upper class men who your better than and like to bully per say and poke jokes . Yes they accepted  him but at the same time they do don’t think it was fair to upper class men . But he delt with the haters and non believers . Even the dam teachers would call him out on it sometimes , it was kinda love  and hate . But in the end he came out on top .

he just put his head down and got to work . And wanted it more than everyone else . You have to have to the right mindset to block all the haters out . He was a quite kid so that helped out a little , but outworked everyone , even in the weight room . 

My two youngest sons started football, basketball, and baseball on varsity as freshmen.  There was never any problems because they helped produce.  I'm sure people, especially parents and the kids who were not as good, talked trash about them behind their backs.  But if you don't surround yourself with those people it is no problem.  The real players just want to be around players who help them win and compete.

JCG posted:

I would not say a thing other than congrats, keep working hard, and have fun. 

It's a non-issue, in my experience and opinion. Hopefully your kid doesn't overthink it the way you are.

Exactly.  The goal should be development and earning playing time against older players.  He is going to be challenged, and nothing is going to come easy.  Some things will be under his control and other things will not.  Been there, done that.   Good luck!

I'm with JCG.  It's just another coach decision like who starts, who plays where, lineup, etc., based on who's playing well and what program needs are present at the time.  There are really good players in strong programs that don't get moved up, really average players in weak programs that do get moved up and everywhere in between.  For a short time, some will make it a topic of discussion, good or bad, and then it's back to normal.  

Can't say it better than JCG... Congratulations, keep working hard and have fun.

The only thing I would add is, as a parent, you will want to prepare the player that he will be exposed to older teens for three hours a day in a place where there are less restrictions and filters than on campus.  Discussion topics and language are going to be more "older teen" harsh than it is with his classmate circle of friends.  Time for a quick gut check on knowing who you are and what you stand for...  knowing right and wrong.  

It's really awkward when your freshman son is playing over a senior that has already signed with a college.  It's tough on the young player.  I never brought it up but there is A LOT of animosity unfortunately.  The parents were the nastiest...not all parents, just the player's parents and his inner circle of friends...Kudos to the coach for having the fortitude to play the best player regardless of age

As a parent, keep an eye out for being exposed to and influenced by much older kids.  A freshman spending lots of time with seniors grows up much faster.  

Agreed , lots of parties and other activity’s that were offered to my son , that he was so surprised at . Some kids were always in trouble out of school. But it showed on the field .

Why would you need to give any advice?  If they earned it in the eyes of the coach, they deserve to be there.  Nothing is guaranteed for any player on that team regardless of year in school.  At every practice and in every game, every player should be doing their best.  It doesn't need to be said.  

If you have to say something, "control what you can control."  My child was a 4 year starter in HS softball.  She treated it like any other team she played on.  There are always haters.  That only matters if you give them power over you.  So, she outworked and out played her teammates.  It is really that simple.  

My son was in a similar situation.  A few players/parents were envy and/or jealous, I even heard a few voice their opinion.  At first son experienced a few comments and exclusions from his grade appropriate players but in a short time it went back to normal.  I think it depends on how your son handles it and the aura he portrays.  Tell him to be humble, not to be flashy, hang out with his "usual" friends as well as his upper class teammates, and to defer praise and accolades to his teammates.  As he gets older and better his play will draw the attention, not his age and playing up.  It took about 1/2 a season before parents and kids realized the coach made the correct decision.

One word. Humility!

My son just kept his head down a continued to work. He was a freshman on varsity and he was grateful to be there. His biggest issue was that he was also in the HS band and got razzed by the upper class teammates.

My son was in this spot & I told him 2 things:

#1: You may be hassled a bit & given the rookie treatment or "hazed." Carry the buckets, etc. This is fine, do it.  If you are told to do something, anything, that you feel is out of line, just flat refuse. If they push you on it to the point where it gets physical, start swinging & don't stop until they pull you off.

#2: Work harder than the rest, keep your mouth shut for the most part & go kick ass.

Francis7 posted:

This is for the freshmen who makes JV or Varsity.  Or, for the kid who makes Varsity when all his other classmates are playing JV.  Basically, it’s the player who is playing at a level higher than his classmates.  For that player, what’s the best advice that you would offer them?

If I were asked – two things come to mind.  First, that nothing is permanent.  It’s one thing to make the major leagues.  But, it’s another to stay there.  That said, my advice to the player would be that you need to produce at that level to stay at that level.  There’s no rule that says a player can’t be moved down to a lower roster at any time for any reason.  Secondly, my advice would be “Get ready to deal with the haters.”  If you’re the only one, or one of the few, to make a higher roster (than your classmates), those left behind are not necessarily going to be happy for you.  Jealously is a beast.  Players and some parents will be talking smack about you not deserving it, or waiting for you to fail – behind your back and maybe even to your face.  It’s not a reflection on you.  More so, it’s just their way of griping over the fact that they (or their kid) also didn’t get selected for the higher roster.  And, you need to totally turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to the haters and not let that creep into your head.

Would you disagree with this advice?  Something else that you would add or replace?

Do you toss burning matches on to paper and ask yourself if it will burn? My son made varsity a season ahead of his classmates in two sports. Two did get called up midseason in baseball. He and I never gave any thought to how others would react. You make the team. You fill your role. He did receive some rookie razzing from older players. Socially it had zero impact. He remained in the same social circle. You have to stop looking for problems.

My daughter made two varsity sports as a freshman. The freshmen were the studs in softball. Volleyball was a first year varsity sport and she a skilled 2 man beach player.** She was a leader in both

** Volleyball wasn’t big in PA yet. My daughter and I would challenge winners in 2 man. Guys were amused the girl and her dad wanted to play until they lost. I lived on the beach in Southern CA for years and picked up 2 man after college. I taught my kids how to play. 

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I am going to throw this out there and apologize for hijacking the thread for a moment.   My daughter made the varsity and they had completed their first weekend practice.  She comes running into the house and was so excited.  She needed money.  The seniors had a tradition of going to a neighboring town to buy hamburgers.  They are the single greasiest and best burgers you will ever eat.  The seniors asked her to go along.  It really does depend upon how your son reacts to making varsity.  The seniors, in the end, will determine whether he is accepted.  

CoachB25 posted:

I am going to throw this out there and apologize for hijacking the thread for a moment.   My daughter made the varsity and they had completed their first weekend practice.  She comes running into the house and was so excited.  She needed money.  The seniors had a tradition of going to a neighboring town to buy hamburgers.  They are the single greasiest and best burgers you will ever eat.  The seniors asked her to go along.  It really does depend upon how your son reacts to making varsity.  The seniors, in the end, will determine whether he is accepted.  

Totally agree!

The seniors a couple years ago knew that there were four freshmen who could possibly help them reach their goal. Three would end up starters and they were embraced and mentored by those very seniors. 

For the most part, I think that freshmen have an idea who may have a legitimate shot at varsity or JV. 

I agree with those here who recommend making it as much a non-issue as possible. I'll also add something that I consider good advice, regardless of your tenure or station on the team:

Be the best teammate you can be.

If you're the freshman on the varsity, that probably does mean keeping your head down, remaining focused on developing into the best player you can be, and looking for every opportunity to make a positive contribution to the team.

For the senior, it ought to mean welcoming the youngsters who are good enough to cut it as teammates and showing them the path to individual and team improvement. 

If a coach insists upon all players consistently acting as good teammates, articulates what that means and looks like, and models it, himself, it'll go a long way toward making the team successful.

cabbagedad posted:

I'm with JCG.  It's just another coach decision like who starts, who plays where, lineup, etc., based on who's playing well and what program needs are present at the time.  There are really good players in strong programs that don't get moved up, really average players in weak programs that do get moved up and everywhere in between.  For a short time, some will make it a topic of discussion, good or bad, and then it's back to normal.  

Can't say it better than JCG... Congratulations, keep working hard and have fun.

The only thing I would add is, as a parent, you will want to prepare the player that he will be exposed to older teens for three hours a day in a place where there are less restrictions and filters than on campus.  Discussion topics and language are going to be more "older teen" harsh than it is with his classmate circle of friends.  Time for a quick gut check on knowing who you are and what you stand for...  knowing right and wrong.  

I was going to say the same thing. It was even worse when son played Legion, because some college kids came back to play.  He was barely 15 playing with 18, 19, 20 year olds.  I can't say I would not let him if we went back, but he did develop some bad habits from those older kids.

I forgot to add:  In 1-2 years the Varsity guys will have graduated and moved on.  The now younger freshman players you "left" are now your teammates on Varsity.  Hopefully when you moved up you still hung out/befriended freshman players and were humble.  Memories and ways are hard to shake, go out of your way to make sure it doesn't happen to you.