After committing - pitfalls or concerns

Read the “Advice for incoming freshmen” post. It’s written by a player. It’s spot on.

From a baseball perspective understand accepting an offer and showing up on campus in the fall only means the player has an opportunity. Starting in the fall he has to deliver on that opportunity. Otherwise, the coach will find someone to replace him to help him keep his job.

Between now and heading for college the player should be who he’s always been. It’s what has worked so far.

Be prepared as a parent for what's coming your way. I went to the doctor for a regular check up, should have been half an hour. The doc (mom of a baseball player two years under mine) spent another 45 minutes asking how I got my son recruited. There will be people who think YOU did something for your kid or have some magic bullet that will help their kid. I am still trying to figure out what to say, so you might think about that.

Also, what will you tell people who seriously ask about the recruiting process, how it worked and what you did. 

Make sure your son is staying close to his real friends. We worried when he got a new girlfriend after his commitment, and we have advised him to be wary of people who have never spoken to him suddenly including him in their parties, texts, etc. I had to be untrusting, but. . . 

And finally, make sure he is aware of the good things as they happen for his friends, even when they seem minor compared to his own success.

We had two boys go D1 (mine and a teammate) and then one go to D3 and one to NAIA. They both commented on how surprised they were at their coaches' enthusiasim for them and their play. As a group, the parents (including me) realized that these boys were always solid baseball players. They had just been outshone by the D1s on their high school team. Now they're getting a chance to shine that is just as important as your son's.

Sounds like your kid is a good kid and will know this instinctively, but we make sure to remind our boy to reach out to his old friends, go when he can to the other boys' games, to stay up on their stats, to reach out and say good job when it applies and to boost them up when they struggle. 

In other words, keep celebrating them as they celebrate him.

He'll be fine, it's not all that serious. There are going to be bitter people and whispers but you shrug them off and move on. As far as dealing with outsiders looking to take credit for his work, don't even acknowledge them. The retweeters and "twitter trainers" are just looking to use his name to bring credibility to their brand. Block if necessary. As far as the coach, unless you've been with him for at least a year and he helped him get the offer/already has an established relationship with the college then it really isn't necessary. Sounds like a guy that is looking to develop a relationship with the school for future players or a coach that knows what he is doing and wants to help. Just be aware of anybody that is overly invested. 

JMO.

Son now will always be referred to as the "XYZ Commit". The local news, the team parents, the school, the coach, etc. My advise would be just as RJM mentioned above, be who he has always been. When asked about or is introduced as the commit, I'm grateful for the opportunity and can't wait for that to start, but right now, I'm just focused on my senior year. It's best to filter out all the chatter and focus in the moment. 

His future coaches don't need updates from his current coach unsolicited. They will ask if they want it. He needs to focus on the now, work hard, and keep his nose clean. This isn't always easy. I know of kids that committed to very prestigious schools, had high level draft opportunities and went off track senior year (dui, drug, behavior issues, girls) and lost it all or their stock fell quickly. 

It sounds like your son is squared away and he has a good support system in place. Just remember, boys frontal lobe isn't fully developed until 25. So there is still work to do. Good luck and enjoy! 

There will always be "hangers on", "cleat chasers", "wanna be's" & "glory seekers" around. 

Your son is responsible for his skill set, health, perseverance, determination, etc, etc, etc.  You & he are very wise to monitor the "newbies" coming around. Concerning "Coach Glory Seeker", be polite, but if son has a plan, then son has a plan! Concerning Wanna Be training services, He needs to check everything out with his College Trainer. Vitamin & supplements, too! Get him ready for random drug tests...Once he gets on campus, steer clear of "frat brats & sorority sisses"...and the (off) campus bars! 

Enjoy his last HS season! He's on the cusp of becoming a man! 

"necessary. As far as the coach, unless you've been with him for at least a year and he helped him get the offer/already has an established relationship with the college then it really isn't necessary. Sounds like a guy that is looking to develop a relationship with the school for future players or a coach that knows what he is doing and wants to help. Just be aware of anybody that is overly invested. "

Some coaches try to keep control of their player's future while in high school.  Just be careful since a fine line regarding playing time his Sr. year.  If you need more info PM me.  Along with the accolades comes scrutiny with social media.  A top ranked athlete now becomes major news if something negative happens.  I warned my son to be careful what he does in the public since social media will give less emphasis if something happens to role players as opposed to All-Americans or heavily recruited top players. 

You son has gotten this far without any problems.  He's doing something correctly.  Being humble is one of the best traits to strive for IMO.  It will stick with him throughout his career (baseball and non-baseball).  It's one thing to say the correct things when interviewed, it's something else to demonstrate it through actions.

Enjoy these times because high school accolades only happen for a short time.

Congrats to your family and your son!  I am following this thread with interest for my 2020.   In our experience, the RC calls him directly, pretty regularly.  

Our big dilemma has been about football at my son's very small high school this fall.  He has had an absolute blast at summer workouts, having not played since 8th grade, and here we are getting ready for the football season.  The plan is football during the week, then baseball on Saturdays and Sundays. He'll be one of two mid-major baseball commits on the football team.  I need the nail-biting emoji, but did not see one.  

I think it is smart to be thinking of these things as this is a major change in your son's life.   We are fortunate where we live that there are many high schoolers getting to the collegiate level.   My son just blended in with all the collegiate commits and all-state players....he was more than happy to do so.   He doesn't like attention which is totally contrary to being a D1 college pitcher...you're on the mound with the ball...everybody is looking at you! 

What was interesting to me was the reaction by some of the adults and baseball parents that only knew my son peripherally.   I recall one specific comment when a parent at our local baseball academy said...."Oh, I didn't know your son was smart".   Seriously, who says that?   So, just be prepared to deal with sh*t like that.   I've lived in Virginia for 30 years now.  I've learned to smile and say "bless your heart".   If we were in the North where I grew up, there would have been a much different response.  ;-)

Good luck!

Tell your son not to expect to see any fastballs middle-in until he's done with high school. He'll need to adjust.

Your son should be prepared to be “discouraged”’from being a 2 way player in college once he gets on campus.  Chances are very good that he will either be told to choose or told what his choice is. This has nothing to do with his choice of schools - it would probably happen no matter where he goes. But be ready for it. There are other threads that go into great detail about that. 

Congrats to your son! Two tidbits....

1. Pitchers will rise up to face him. Just how it is when you're a committed high school player. Expect a lot more sliders, curve balls, and off speed pitches.

2. As far as his teammates, nothing changes much. At least for my son it didn't. However there were 8 committed seniors on his high school team so it wasn't like he was the "big fish" so to speak. Just another fish in a big pond. If your son is the only senior or one of only a few seniors that are college bound, he will certainly be an example/mentor to the younger players. 

2020two-way-parent posted:

My son has a very good plan of how to train in the off-season, gain weight, etc., but I want to make sure that my husband and I are aware of any other issues that may arise. 

 

As far as off season training goes, I would think the D1 coach would send a packet including what training he expect incoming athletes to do.  At least that's what my son received when he committed to a D2 JuCo.

As posted your son has earned an opportunity.    Once he gets there he'll need to take advantage of that opportunity.  The grind doesn't stop.

Good luck!

adbono posted:

Your son should be prepared to be “discouraged”’from being a 2 way player in college once he gets on campus.  Chances are very good that he will either be told to choose or told what his choice is. This has nothing to do with his choice of schools - it would probably happen no matter where he goes. But be ready for it. There are other threads that go into great detail about that. 

adbono is spot on....although one D2 is allowing it, another D2 said they want him for football and baseball but the football coach said he wouldnt allow him to play baseball...frustrating

I'll give you another scenario to think about.  Let me preface this, with, "I hope none of your sons have to go through this".

My son committed to a D1 April of his junior year and signed his NLI his Senior year.  From that date through 3 days before graduating high school, his coaches kept in touch with him, either email, text or phone calls.  3 days before he's to graduate, the coaches are fired.  My son finds out via social media and other recruits.  Nobody at the school contacts us to tell us their plan, who to contact for questions, zero...zip.  We send emails and leave messages for the athletic administration, and somebody finally responds back.  We're told by the compliance officer our options are stay, but there's a possibility he could get "cut", go the JC route, or apply for a complete release without penalty.  We opt for a complete release, and the compliance officer advises he'll send instructions on how to apply and the school will grant it.  Great!  I follow up with an email outlining our discussion and what we we're told would happen next.

Well, a couple hours later the compliance officer emails me back and says, IN THE EMAIL, "I apologize, but I inadvertently misinformed you, and the AD or Asst AD must approve the release".  To apply, we're given a link.  We get a pending release, recruiting ban lifted.  So, a call to them.  No replies back.  Texts, emails, voice mails...nothing, zip, nada.  We're ignored for a week.  Finally I get a call back from the Asst AD.  After an hour of screaming and yelling, I'm told the NLI is in force until the incoming coach has a chance to recruit my son.  We're in July and my son was to play in a collegiate league, but this is out the window, now.  We even went and spoke with 3 different attorneys, for options.

We finally hear from the coach that's hired.  He spoke with my son twice on the phone and sent 2 texts, but my son was not interested in playing for a school that has treated him poorly, lied to him, won't return calls, won't reply to voicemail or texts.  The new coach stood by his word and approved the complete transfer.  July 9th, he's got a complete release without penalty.

Now, I know many of you will say, yeah, but he signed an NLI, it's with the school and not the coach.  It's even written in the NLI.  Agreed.  But the paragraph states, "I understand that I have signed this NLI with the institution and not for a particular sport or individual. For example, if the coach leaves the institution or the sports program, I remain bound by the provisions of this NLI."  I argue the contract is clear and states "individual", not "all" individuals or all coaches.  In addition, the one person that should know everything about rules, head of Compliance, misleads/misinforms/lies to us and admits it in writing.  That's appears to be an NCAA ethics violation. Lastly, how can any institution that advertises college is about the students, be unresponsive, and ignore their students/recruits, and not be held accountable for their actions.

My son was a wreck for six weeks.  I was a wreck for six weeks.  Being held hostage by this administration, and for no fault other than, THEY changed everything.  

Now the silver lining...

Once he was listed as Pending and recruiting ban lifted, he had several other D1 schools anxiously waiting to talk to him.  Once we had the complete release, the next day he had 2 offers each with more money and each where the position he plays needs to be filled.  I'm happy to report he's going to be heading off to college in a couple weeks, and the school and program he's landed at has welcomed him with open arms.

Let me reiterate what I started with..."I hope none of your sons have to go through this".

Here’s something that I didn’t expect: I am amazed at the people who thought it was OK to ask about financial details. Not just kids. Adults too! I didn’t prepare my son to answer that question without telling people percentages or dollar amounts. We settled on: it was a generous mix of athletic and academic aid. 

Dad H, WOW...what a difficult six weeks! But how amazing that he had other options! Best wishes to him as he heads off to college. 

2020two-way-parent posted:

Here’s something that I didn’t expect: I am amazed at the people who thought it was OK to ask about financial details. Not just kids. Adults too! I didn’t prepare my son to answer that question without telling people percentages or dollar amounts. We settled on: it was a generous mix of athletic and academic aid. 

We encountered this with both my daughter (volleyball) and son (baseball).  It seems presumptuous to me to ask someone this pointed question that concerns personal financial matters - except for very close friends or family.  But in the scheme of things not a big deal - it could be helpful to some people going through the process I suppose.  I just found it nosy.  Most of the time we were honest and an open book, but avoided specific dollar amounts - a lot of times we'd give a rough percentage and change the subject.  A few people (for the most part, strangers) who were super annoying we fibbed and said "full ride, inculding books and monthly stipend" just for the fun of it.  

The one thing I would say to son is remain humble.  God has blessed him and he has put in hard work to get here so keep it going.  Now to how he will be treated.  My son was the first major D1 from our school for baseball.  His teammates took it well and the community did as well since he helped get them deep in the playoffs for the 2 years he was here.  BUT, he did get a lot of overrated when he did not hit well.  He is going to UT so some teams even played Rocky Top over the PA when they were warming up which just made him better.  There were the good points also.  A lot of his competition congratulated him and even coaches congratulated him.  The best good story was the game after we got put out of the playoffs this year he went to watch the other two teams play semi-final game.  When the two teams saw him standing there watching both teams walked over during the game and high fived him and joked with him.  So just know ultimately on the field they respect good players no matter what they say during competition.  You just have to ignore parents and fans because they don't get it.  One lady's son got on base with a passed ball strike three and said I don't think this kid is that good to be going to UT.  Her son struck out three times that game and my son had 15 K's with no hits.  Let the parents be parents and enjoy the ride.  Except when you have to walk away.

2019 has been asked from players,coaches from other teams and parents. The questions:"Who got you the scholarship?" ( that one irritated me....)"How much did you get?"was the most asked -The practiced response is to redirect them to us and include- "I'm just blessed to be able to play and get a education at the next step."and "Thanks for asking. The coaching staff helped and they will answer any questions about recruiting..." He will not talk about financials at all. It's a private matter. 

It was definitely weird, being that baseball in Alaska in not big and he was playing basketball when he signed his NLI. Close friends or parents on the team asking us as parents on the scholarship amounts - we just gave a rough percentage also and explained the gave the process of the last year. It was a whirlwind.

If we didn't know them. I told them we are just happy he was going to college and redirect.

His Basketball buddies were congrats,we've got practice....not a big deal. He has friends that are going to play basketball in college. Players got the same types of questions. and they answer just like he does. The basketball HC really coached them on answering these type of questions, I was impressed on how much so.

The HC was preening that he has another kid going out. In actuality he didn't do a whole lot for the recruiting end. Maybe two phone calls. The combination of a opportunity at a legion camp,a scout, and a trip to AZ +hard work got him the ability to go down to the lower 48.

During the season, it was definitely wonky- Kids on other teams would want to face him or not because he throws hard for up here  (85-91). Coaches would ask if we were throwing him as well. I would say it was harder on the 2021- he got chirped a lot-He is also better than 2019. So we got him used to the questions/chirps as well and by the end of the year, you could tell he didn't give a hoot about what players said. He just wanted to beat them. 

I encountered a couple of jealous parents who commented, “He probably only got 25%” like it was no big deal. So I responded, “You’re right. He got even more for academics” and smiled. 

• When your son gets on campus and works out with the other players on the team, they will eventually find out what the other player's scholarships are.   You will find that sometimes the big $$$ scholarships did not go to the best players.  
• The scholarship amount can change from year to year.  Up or down.  (unless you are protected by the big school's NLI).  Happened both ways for keewartson, however it was agreed to ahead of time.  
• Coaching changes:  It happens.  Son signed his NLI and the next week the head coach who also recruited him took an assistant position at a larger school.   The timing was deliberate.   Son stayed.  Really, what else was he going to do as a position player?  I think looking back, it worked out better for keewartson than the coach, but son still keeps in touch with him.  Remember, coaches can leave in the middle of your son's college career, too.  
• The "what ifs".  Keewartson was an early commit, summer between sophomore and junior year.  (Doesn't seem early now lol).  By senior year, he was wondering if he had waited, if he could  have gone to  "bigger better baseball school in another state".  
• The swag.  Son was quite jealous of all the cool swag his friends posted on instagram that went to big budget schools.  He got over it. 

RJM posted:

I encountered a couple of jealous parents who commented, “He probably only got 25%” like it was no big deal. So I responded, “You’re right. He got even more for academics” and smiled. 

Isn't that something? "Only" 25% at a Power Five.

Haters gonna hate.

Kids can be bad....the parents are the worst. 

Looking back, my son (who committed July before senior year) actually got more "static" from the non-athletes than the athletes. A number of them were anguishing about their chances of getting into his school , and schools similar to his and thought he had an easy route. They were saying how lucky he was as they were preparing the PERFECT ESSAY.  I told him that his preparation/work to get in was just as difficult but different than theirs and his timetable was a few years earlier. I'm sure some good pitchers on weaker teams had an added incentive to strike him out (or catchers to throw him out). On his HS team he was often overshadowed by the ace who got most of the attention and would go to the rival team in son's conference. I always thought it was neat when the paper in a write-up saod RipkenFanSon XXschool-commit.  People did want to know how much scholarship he received. (His D1 did not give athletic $). Sometimes we'd say "he did quite well" as an answer, which was true in the "grand scheme of things." . Finally, come to think of it, son got chirped more on soccer field in HS..maybe it was his 50 yard throw..or the hairband he wore. Congrats again to the OP's son's offer. Enjoy his senior year!

keewart posted:

• When your son gets on campus and works out with the other players on the team, they will eventually find out what the other player's scholarships are.   You will find that sometimes the big $$$ scholarships did not go to the best players.  
• The scholarship amount can change from year to year.  Up or down.  (unless you are protected by the big school's NLI).  Happened both ways for keewartson, however it was agreed to ahead of time.  
• Coaching changes:  It happens.  Son signed his NLI and the next week the head coach who also recruited him took an assistant position at a larger school.   The timing was deliberate.   Son stayed.  Really, what else was he going to do as a position player?  I think looking back, it worked out better for keewartson than the coach, but son still keeps in touch with him.  Remember, coaches can leave in the middle of your son's college career, too.  
• The "what ifs".  Keewartson was an early commit, summer between sophomore and junior year.  (Doesn't seem early now lol).  By senior year, he was wondering if he had waited, if he could  have gone to  "bigger better baseball school in another state".  
• The swag.  Son was quite jealous of all the cool swag his friends posted on instagram that went to big budget schools.  He got over it. 

This is everything you need to know about player pitfalls and concerns.   I especially remember the coaching changes at this school and discussing with keewart....it didn't matter.   This young man thrived and quickly found a niche on this mid-major D1 team as a contributing freshmen despite everything going on around him.

Especially, like the last bullet.   Call it deferred gratification or maturity.   He's way over it.  

He should do whatever he has always been doing. Control what you can control....you'll find out that advice will benefit you and your son more than you know once you get on campus. Congrats.

Although not specific to baseball, in the spring I attended a public viewing ofScreenagers, Growing up in the Digital Age.  In my humble opinion, players and parents should attend a viewing.  Also, they provide you some Tips & Tricks to address the complex digital world. 

Congrats to your son.

Did anyone find that after your child committed, their teammates called that same school to try to get recruited as well?  Do coaches like to recruit friends/teammates of their committed players? 

2020two-way-parent posted:

Did anyone find that after your child committed, their teammates called that same school to try to get recruited as well?  Do coaches like to recruit friends/teammates of their committed players? 

No to the first question and maybe to the second.

Son had a teammate commit to "big-state-baseball-U".  The HC asked him if they had players on his HS team that he should be looking at.

The coach that recruited my son, is now at a different university.   He has called my son several times about players at his former high school.

From this site:  "Players don't recruit schools.  Schools recruit players."

I hate to say it, but to some extent, your son will have a target on his back his senior year of high school.  Even if you don't hear the over-rated chants, there will be a lot of whispering and grumbling in the stands, mostly from jealous parents, or parents that think their own kids are far better than they are.  He may also see altered behavior from the HS coaching staff.  If he does something on the field that they don't like the typical criticism (constructive or not) he received in the past may now become, "You better not do that at Big State U."  I have even heard of HS coaches threatening to call college coaches to torpedo scholarship offers.  Sick, but it happens.

Bottom line is he just needs to work harder than ever and ignore the noise.  

We are finding this "bottom line advice" is SPOT ON: "Bottom line is he just needs to work harder than ever and ignore the noise."