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I have a 14 year old. A once intelligent, polite, well mannered kid that somewhere between 12 and now turned into a...god forbid...a teenager.

All of a sudden I know nothing. Zilch. Nada. Zero. Okay I get that. So I call my own Father. You know to get a little sympathy. After he catches his breath, after laughing hysterically in the phone for 5 solid minutes, he says "There ya go."

Really? I was that bad? I, of course, don't remember it that way.

So the kid has been hitting well, but struggling with waiting on the ball. I don't off speed pitches. I mean just WAITING.

He had a 0-3 game the other night. As a 8th grader who starts, I get that he feels a little pressure to perform, since he's starting over some older kids. I gave all the advice..you know the old stand by's:

"Have confidence."
"You know you can hit. Just hit."
"It's only one game, relax."

and on and on.

So finally after that 0-3 game he comes home and of course he's sullen and just aggravated about his performance (or lack thereof). I leave it be. I didn't event talk about the game, except to compliment him on the great game he had defensively. He responded to that with "Couple of my throws from 3rd were way off." (Not one got past the 1B. But I let it be.)

So the next day, after his practice, I get home from work. His replacement wood bats came via UPS man and he asks to go hit...as he normally does every day of the week. I say "Sure" get the bucket and off we go to the nearby cage.

He's jumping, not waiting, changing this, changing that. I'm quiet. He then ASKS me what he's doing wrong. I CALMLY point out he's simply not waiting.

Finally he gets upset (not at me) frustrated and I just lose my patience. Basically what I tell him is this..

"You had a 0-3 game on JV. As a starting 8th grader. End of the world right? You know you can hit. So stop changing things, stop thinking. Once you step in the batter's box SHUT EVERYTHING ELSE OUT and just concentrate of seeing the ball from the pitcher's hand to your bat. Don't think about it just hit. The changes we've made in your swing will be there...without thinking about it."

So he wanted to hit another bucket, we went home...I never mentioned another word about it.

At the JV game the following day, we're playing a team with slower pitching. I get there in the middle of the 1st, and one of the Dad's informs me the kid hit a hard line drive single. Well that's good.

Second at bat was a hard shot over the RF's head, one hopped the fence (only 320). Stand up double. (If you've seen my kid run you'd know he has to hit it far to accomplish that LOL). Last at bat he really sat on one. Hit one to the LC gap, another double. So I'm leaving the park, the kids are filing out to get on the bus, and the kid comes running after me yelling at me. (He never does that) Tells me "You see my hits? I just used the stride for timing, and waited just like you said."

I resisted the urge to do the "I told you so" dance. And simply nodded and said "Good job."

On the ride to meet the bus back at the school, thats' when I did the I TOLD YOU SO YOU DUFUS dance. Got a couple of weird looks from passing motorists, but what can you do?

So anyone else waking up older and smarter? At least as far as their kids are concerned? LOL
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Well I can honestly say I'm still dumb as a box of tree stumps but I do know that I really enjoy reading your posts. You have a great way of getting your point across. This post, what you just posted in the thread by the coach and your nail in the coffin thread are some good stuff.

Thanks for posting and best of luck to your son.
quote:
Originally posted by coach2709:
Well I can honestly say I'm still dumb as a box of tree stumps but I do know that I really enjoy reading your posts. You have a great way of getting your point across. This post, what you just posted in the thread by the coach and your nail in the coffin thread are some good stuff.

Thanks for posting and best of luck to your son.


Appreciate it.
My son is roughly the same age. I think I got smarter when I stopped making every little thing a big deal and just chilled out!!

I got the best compliment in the world the other day. My best friend's wife asked me if I had been taking meds during our sons' games because she doesn't even recognize the calm guy.

I have posted before that it is in thanks to many of the folks on this message board.
quote:
Originally posted by BackstopDad32:
My son is roughly the same age. I think I got smarter when I stopped making every little thing a big deal and just chilled out!!

I got the best compliment in the world the other day. My best friend's wife asked me if I had been taking meds during our sons' games because she doesn't even recognize the calm guy.

I have posted before that it is in thanks to many of the folks on this message board.


LOL.

AT my son's first JV game, I showed up and I know pretty much every parent as I have coached many of their kids over the years, and I still coach a travel team. Several of them asked me if it would be a hard adjustment not being in the dugout. They were shocked that I was quiet about the game, and enjoyed myself.

One Dad finally asked me..

"You sure are different off the field vs on."

ME: "Yup. Out there I'm a coach. Standing here, just a Dad."
Classic post PG. The older I get the dumber I realize I was. Yep no doubt. I am still as dumb as a pile of rocks.

I always watch a young man after he strikes out or has a bad at bat , pops up, rolls over a pitch and grounds out. I want to see how he reacts to failure. Does he calmly walk back to the dug out? Does he show obvious frustration? Whats his body language when he takes the field on defense? Does he still have that hop in his step? Does he still throw it around between innings with some zest?

I watched my son as well. Can you flush it? Can you just move on? Can you focus on doing what you need to do next with the same attitude as if you had hit a jack in that at bat?

Learning to move on and flush it is so critical. Not just from at bat to at bat but from game to game. Its critical in this game. When you see your kid strike out with the risp and calmly move on to the next play you will know he is growing in the game.

When you as a parent can learn to do the same thing ------ you will have a whole lot more fun watching the games. And so will your son when the game is over.
Very good CM. No truer words were ever spoken about being able to flush it. No only inning by inning, but game by game.

I had one of those "A HA" moments back a few years ago when youngson played on a 16U team and we were playing in a tournament up at the old Sarge Frye field in SC. It was hot as DICKENS that summer day and he was starting. We were playing one of those good Diamond Devil teams. Loaded with talent.

Son started on the bump. After about 2 or 3 innings I could tell up in the stands that he just did not have his stuff that day. They were hammering him good and hard. I was actually relieved when the coach finally yanked him. (for his own good. lol)

After the game he came up and got a water with a dejected look on his face. I knew he was disappointed with his performace and was wondering how I FELT about it. To begin the chat he kinda said something like "well, whaddya think Dad?"

I told him something along the lines that "today just wasn't his day and to let it go. There will be more days like this and how he handles these bad ones will help in the future bounce back..." Or something to that effect. All of a sudden he sorta lifted his head and shoulders back, smiled, and said "thanks Dad. I needed to hear that". He then went over and hung out with his teammates.

It was an epiphany for me that day on learning out to "flush it" just as much as it was him.

Good stuff Kenny. As always.

YGD
quote:
And simply nodded and said "Good job."


My kid's just a tweener (half baby, half teenager) but your story really resonates. He's certainly headed in the same direction you describe for yours.

Kids can be hard on themselves; especially these good young players. They have such high expectations of themselves at an amazingly young age these days. I feel lucky that my son is coached now by other men, good men he respects and listens too intently.

But we've had our drives home with conversations that hinge on his youthful self-doubt. Sometimes these conversations turn for the worse when the teenager kicks in and doesn't want pop's observations.

It's taken me a long time to come to the realization that sometimes the only thing I should say is, "Good Job" with respect to whatever he might have done well in what might have been an otherwise tough game. Luckily he's pitching lights out and playing a consistently nice 3B so I haven't had to search for anything to compliment.

But perhaps the one thing I learned just this year that gave me confidence I am leaving the "Dumb" baseball dad behind, is that I learned to emphasize he's in a process, and really just beginning that process. His coach nevers views games, or even seasons in isolation so neither should he. Instead he emphasizes that the work the kid puts in in the cage matters in accumulation, not necessarily at the plate tonight or this coming weekend. Makes me feel lucky and grateful to have him with this program and this particular coach, because the kid is so passionate he can't always control his disappointment.

Once upon a time I thought myself a bright guy. Thanks to a gruff local baseball guy, I might be getting back there soon.

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