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I ran into a 19 YO yesterday that I had coached in Little League, and taught for a few years in Sunday School. He was a dingy pitcher, kind of lazy and his senior year, he decided baseball was too much work, it interfered with a desired snowboarding trip, and he wanted to "do his thing" with his friends, so he quit all sports. He graduated high school, didn't last two months in college, came back home, got a labor-type job, wouldn't listen to his parents or obey their rules, so went to live with a relative. Biggest issue was running with the wrong crowd, getting into bad things, you get the drift.

Yesterday he needed a haircut and a shave, was smoking, and was down in the dumps because local law enforcement folks gave him two choices-cooperate and tell us about what your buds are doing, or be indicted as a co-conspirator. Being present is enough to get you arrested. He protests that he hasn't done anything illegal, but admitted to me he had watched his friends "do stuff". He told his dad recently he wished he could go back a couple years and start over. My advice to him was the same as it was 3 years ago-do what only you can decide to do-get away from that crowd and clean up your act.

Reason for posting all this: as I told my guy yesterday, nothing good ever comes from running with the wrong crowd; even if you don't do illegal activity, if you're around it, you will get drawn in, one way or another. I have warned some parents in recent years that I noticed their kids were with a not so desirable bunch, and frequently the response has been "Thanks but he's okay, he doesn't do those things".

Absolute truth: stay in a bad crowd, and eventually you are one of them.
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This topic is very near and dear to my heart. I grew up in a housing projects. Drugs, prostitution... were everywhere. I had very close friends die via overdoses. I remember seeing one of them being pushed out of our complex with the paramedics pumping his heart. They couldn't save him. I've see kids/friends turn to crime to the point of committing murder (s). I look at my kids now and I have to reinforce to them everyday that life is about choices. However, we must live with the choices we make. I make a speech about being a Zebra and once you become a Zebra, you can't change your stripes. Zebra's run with the crowd to blend in. They don't stand out on their own values and principle. Zebra's are afraid to be special. Everyday I hope I make a difference for them. I desperately want to help them avoid the events of my life. I teach in a very good community. I hope that these kids realize the blessings of their life.
If I may allow me to give you another real life example

This goes back to over 10 years ago when my son was playing HS ball--there were known drug users on the team but regardless as a team they still hung out---the drugs were not evident when the team was together.

One morning making my regular stop for paper and coffee at the neighborhood shop I run into a retired police sargeant at the shop-- he alerets me to the fact that somethingw as about to come down and that my son should not be with this certain boy unless it is a team thing---the net was about to drop and if you are there you go with him innocent or not---

Since then I have always kept this locked in my mind--- the crowd you are with can bring you down even if you are "clean"
So So true.

Not long ago my son was telling me how so and so smokes pot and so and so gets drunk every night. My son said it is all in the crowd you hang out with.

Excuse ME! Did I not tell you that when you turned 13 and you fought me tooth and nail because these people were cool and just because they got in trouble and you didnt you just watched, you should be allowed to hang with them. WE never allowed it. We told you it was all in who you hang with. NOW he's telling me my own words. I loved it.

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