Skip to main content

Some dads of young high school players have posted threads about their sons and their situations. Be patient. Your son is not the 14U or 15U stud anymore. High school is 18/19U ball. Yes your son may have more potential in his pinkie than the junior or senior in the lineup. But your son may not be ready mentally, emotionally or strength wise.

From the regulars on this board I'll bet we could fill in one hundred posts of what "happened" to our kids freshman or sophomore year. But it would be much easier if you follow the positive advice I'm sure they would all provide ... If a kid has talent, a solid work ethic and a positive attitude it will all work out.

There's a poster on this board whose son has been on the short end of the stick for three years of high school ball. Other players were favored due to their LL and Babe Ruth team's reputation. With the high school team's success it's hard for the kid to complain he got less of a chance and have it recognized. But it happened. The kid worked hard on his summer team. He's headed for a D1 program next year.

** The dream is free. Work ethic sold separately. **

Last edited {1}
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

quote:
Originally posted by RJM:
If a kid has talent, a solid work ethic and a positive attitude it will all work out.


ITA. The year my son was a Junior and finally made Varsity, there was a Freshman that was a better pitcher. But coach looked at the dedication, loyalty, maturity and seniority of my son and kept him in. Because of that season, he ended up being the closer his senior year and still holds a record (ahead of that freshman) for a season ERA.

Many D1 players had some time on JV and/or on the bench. The lessons they learned there made them stand out when the recruiter spied them in dugouts and interacting with their teammates and coaches.
Great post RJM!!

I would encourage any fathers that have 7th grade or 8th grade sons that play at a high level in their age group to do what my son and I did the other day. Go to a Varsity baseball game.

Being 13 and a "stud" in his eyes I don't think it sank in quite yet but it sure did for me. Big difference between a 14 year old boy and an 18 year old man. Just sayin'.
What RJM says is true and sometimes it works out quickly for the 14U stud...

We have a freshman that was showing promise on the freshman team. Our varsity team, to put it nicely, has room for improvement this year. The Fish got his chance in one of the pre-season tournaments. Coach threw him right into the fire by starting him at SS to see how he'd hang with the big boys. Now this kid does probably have more talent in his pinkie than most of the upperclassmen and he needed a lesson in humility to say the least.

Fast forward to the second inning. Our team was in the field and the other team had a guy on 1st. He takes off to steal second. My son is the catcher so he pops up and throws down to second. About that time the Fish starts to break to cover the bag and the ball hits the base and bounces out into center field. The look on the Fish's face was priceless. He got a huge dose of how much faster the game moves when you're playing 5A ball in Texas vs a USSSA Tourney when you're an 8th grader.

There were a few grumbles from the crowd about how the kid shouldn't be there, that he was taking time from the older boys, etc.. But what I saw was a coach giving the kid a chance, humbling a talented young kid and giving him a taste of things to come.

In the dug out after the inning I looked over and my son was talking to the kid. "Talking" might not be the right word - more like chewing his arse. I couldn't hear was was said but my son's head was bobbing up and down and the spittle was flying. The Fish was just standing there nodding his head agreeing with him, not about to contradict or talk back to an upperclassman.

Flash forward about a month later. The boys grandmother stops me after the game and tells me she really appreciated the way my son had taken her grandson (the Fish) under his wing and accepted him on the team. That none of the other upperclassmen gave him too much of a welcome when he came aboard. What was witnessed as a severe arse chewing was taken by the Fish as acceptance and instruction. I knew right then he was going to do well.

The point is this: Sometimes it works out. Sometimes the young kids do belong there. Sometimes all they need is a chance. The kid has a future - he can play ball, he hustles, he takes criticism well, and he's willing to learn. As RLM said "If a kid has talent, a solid work ethic and a positive attitude it will all work out." Sometimes it works out even for the Fish. Maybe even your Fish.
quote:
Originally posted by BackstopDad32:
Great post RJM!!

I would encourage any fathers that have 7th grade or 8th grade sons that play at a high level in their age group to do what my son and I did the other day. Go to a Varsity baseball game.

Being 13 and a "stud" in his eyes I don't think it sank in quite yet but it sure did for me. Big difference between a 14 year old boy and an 18 year old man. Just sayin'.
Our high school coach has built a program to the point where every coach down to the 7th grade team was hired on his recommendation. He makes the 7th and 8th grade teams watch two varsity games per season. They also attend home playoff games.

My son didn't make varsity freshman year. The team stunk. It was the coach's second season. He was still clearing out the poison. My son was good enough. But I didn't believe he could compete against the competition. He was one of the last cut. I asked him why he thought it was. He said he couldn't drive the ball like some of the other players. He didn't have the upper body strength yet. From having been through this twice now (also softball), I see upper body strength and emotional stability as the big differences between between the younger players and upper classmen.

There are dads of sophs at our high school whining their kids belong on varsity. One dad tells everyone his kid was the best player on the best 14U team last year. The varsity is defending conference champion. They're tied for first this year. The starting lineup is six seniors, three juniors and a soph. The other pitchers are juniors and seniors. The bench players are juniors.

The team stunk four years ago. The previous two years were where two sophs and two freshman got their shot. The two freshmen were very physically mature.
Last edited by RJM
I can understand your posts and for the most part I agree. However, I stand by my opinion that the best players should be on the field regardless of their age. If the younger ones can perform better, then the younger ones should be playing. My son is 15 and plays 17u in the summer, and we play in the top tourney's in the south, he was 15-1 last year. We have two sr's that do not even play summer ball.

I understand where you are coming from with the sr.s being older, more physically mature, paid their dues, has been a great leader, and for all that, said kid has done, his reward is that he is on the team, and a part of the team.

The problem I have with upper classman that are not as good, is that they are not helping the team. They have had 3-4 years to prove to the coach if they can play, and if it's apparent that they cannot, then they need to step aside and let the younger players with more talent develop that talent and make the team a better team for the future of the program.

As was posted, some sr's can and do play on summer teams where they can get atention of college coaches, attend camps, showcase etc... But just because you're a sr, should not entitle you to playing time.

Our high school team right now has 5 sophomore's on the varsity and 4 are starting, with 2 sophomore pitchers and a freshman pitcher eating some innings here and there. 3 sr's are sub'ing, running bases, etc.... I am sure there are parents that do not like it, but we do have 3 sr's that DO belong on the field and they are on the field.

Honestly as many post that that I read about under classman not "getting" a fair shot" I hear as many about the "sr that is not being treated fairly for all his years of service to the team"
My son is a sophomore who wants badly to play on varsity, and most people would say he's ready. He has played one varsity game so far as a fill in for a sick player. His approach has been to keep his head down and play hard on JV.

I told him that what he needs to do is look like he doesn't belong on JV. Play big. Be big. Make it hard for them to keep you on JV.

Tuesday he was the DH at the JV game. He went 2-3 with a booming homerun. Last night the varsity coach texted him and said be on the bus for the varsity game today. Now it is up to him to do something with this opportunity. He needs to play like he belongs on varsity.

In life, and baseball, you make your own opportunities. Sometimes it just takes time.
Everyone's perspective changes over time. And when your situation changes so will your perspective. When your son is the sr and a talented freshman comes along you will see things a little differently. When you see your son or a close friend of your son who has invested four years of his life into his hs baseball program pushed aside for a talented 15 year old you will look at this a little differently.

I have always played the players that I believed gave us the best chance to win. Period. Sometimes it was a younger player. Sometimes it was an older player. But it was always the player I believed gave us the best chance to win. I always wanted it to be the guy that had invested the most. The guy that had done it for the longer period of time. But I didn't always get what I wanted. But I always had the guy on the field I felt was the best option that day.

These are the fastest four years of your life and your son's. They go by so fast. If you spend your time worrying about stuff like this you will regret it when its all said and done. If you sit back and allow your son to make his own way and enjoy the journey you will not regret it. JMO
Good post Coach May,
I wish I had the talent to write as well as some of the other posters on here like Coach May but I'll try to get my point across as best as I can.

I'd like to add some other reasons for a senior to play over a "more talented" freshman. Many times what you see on the field doesn't reflect the value of the senior that he brings to the team. His leadership, poise, his ability to keep the team focused. These are the players that command respect, not the ones that demand it.

Having been involved with my son through league, travel, H.S. school and now college, I've noticed that most of the team leaders were not the best players on the team, but could get the best out of every player by their leadership. They are the first ones out of the dugout when a player gets a great hit or pitches a great inning or the first one that sits down with him to console him if he doesn't do well.

Sometimes what we see (as parents) may not be the total story of the situation.

As Coach May said these are the shortest 4 years of your life, enjoy the ride.
Texas 1836,
That is a great CD.I would recommend it to all incoming fish. It may not sink in right away, but it will start to make sense one day. One fall my son was playing in the Senior Showcase in Phoenix with Kyle Arnsberg, son of Brad Arnsberg the pitching coach of the Blue Jays at the time. Brad started telling me about how he new Steve Springer and the CD he had made and that Steve had given one to Jim Thome. He said Thome loved it and he wanted some more to pass around to his buddy's. We had been talking for about 15 minutes and then all of sudden Steve walks right up behind us.It was great listening to the man talk. Went home and ordered the CD and gave it to my son. He was a junior at the time. He and I both think it was a turning point in his baseball career.

Like others have stated on here those 4 years of high school will be the fastest 4 years of your life as a parent. Sit back and enjoy it and let the kid figure it out, with a little help from mom and dad. Each year they will need you less and less. But in order to go on to the next level the kids have to figure things out for their self.
Last edited by The Beast
I agree, another very good post Coach May.

bacdorslider- In another thread, you have concerns that your freshman son (who appears quite talented) isn't getting a fair opportunity to play varsity? He apparently pitched one game up on varsity, and struggled a bit? Now I'm reading this thread, and your latest post states that there are five sophomores on varsity, and four of them are starters. I don't know, but IMO the HC is putting what he feels are the best player's on the field to help his team win! Your son will get his chance to shine, and from your post, he'll probably be one of the stud's next year as a sophomore?

Sit back, have fun, and relax...believe me, the high school years fly by!
I wouldn't worry when the kid makes varsity. When it's his time, the coach will decide that.

Geez, my kid didn't make a big thing about not making varsity opening day his junior year and only got a handful of ABs and some pinch running duties his junior year when he was promoted to varsity half way thru the season for the conference tournament...Certainly nothing not much to get his feet wet and he got thrown right in the middle of a conference tournament game with the game on the line so it was obvious they weren't afraid to put him in a crucial spot in the game. He should've started the year on the varsity so he could've gotten the opportunity to win a spot there instead of playing JV where he was throwing kids out at 1B from the OF...He came into senior year determined to beat out two other senior outfielders and hit well, hustled and made plays during tryouts where he no longer could be ignored. He went from OF reserve in spring training to starter in the first week and from hitting 6th to hitting 3rd in just half a season. He ended up as one of the top three rbi producers on the team.

He was also a key contributor in a late season turnaround that got the team one strike from the conference tournament quarterfinals.

His quick rise thru the varsity only confirmed what I knew all along but as a parent, it wasn't my place nor would my son would've wanted me to ever get involved like that. If he had a PT issue, he knew he had to go to the coach himself and leave mommy and daddy out of it.

If anybody got screwed, it was my son. He was making a joke of the JV pitching with his bat and was the team leader in RBI's by about a dozen from the next hitter. He didn't sulk or worry about it. He went and took advantage of an extremely short window his senior year to win a spot compared to the freshman or sophs that get an opportunity early on.

I just don't get what the big deal is. If you're on varsity, you're on the radar and you get to practice with the best squad. And once you make varsity, you don't get cut unless you screw up in school somehow.

If you're on JV or Frosh, you're still on a tryout status and are subject to getting cut from the program in the next year's tryouts.

Some of you peeps gotta pipe down and quit worrying about this nonsense. Your freshman or soph is on varsity for crying out loud.

If I didn't make a big deal about it and go crying to the coach, then none of you should either.
Last edited by zombywoof
I would never expect a talented younger player to sit while an older player starts. As a soph my son beat out a senior to start. But, a lot of parents are accustomed to their kids starring and don't get it when they don't make varsity or don't start. Sometimes they can't see why their son isn't the better choice.

Our original poster added some information that might provide some insight. Four other freshman are starting on varsity. Is it possible he is bothered he's not in "the club" (on the sidelines at the varsity games) and four dad's of freshmen are.

When my daughter was a freshman she was sent down to JV so a senior could start. Four other freshmen started on varsity. I had stood on the sidelines with their dads for two years of middle school ball. Sometimes I would walk back and forth between games. The JV games were brutal to watch. The varsity was in the process of changing from a 4-18 season to winning a conference led by the four freshmen. When parents would say they missed me I just told them things would change before the end of the season. They did. Three seasons of all-conference followed.
Not every kid is a stud and makes varsity his first year. Between playing JV and sitting the bench on varsity, for most players, a couple of years can go by with not alot of playing time to help them improve. From outside it looks like the stud Freshman is better than the Upperclassman. But until the coach lets the Upperclassman play and prove his stuff, you can't give up on him. He's waited his turn and put in the work. Sometimes when those upperclasmen are allowed their due, they shine and help their team win a conference. And some of those even end up with a college scholarship. Yet as a Jr, there was a Freshman that was better. It happens(thank goodness).
quote:
Originally posted by Leftysidearmom:
Yet as a Jr, there was a Freshman that was better.


I've seen far too many Freshmen and "better players" go right up to starting on varsity and when they hit their slump (which every player hits at some point) they can't handle it. Better to learn how to fight for your spot early on when the stakes aren't so high. Playing better is only half of what "fighting for it" means. Good coaches know this and prepare their underclassmen in more ways than just baseball skills. He doesn't want to have his team blow up on him three years from now.

As far as putting in the player that will help get the win, it's often enough to put in the Senior to get the win. And in doing so, he'll also have a group of players on the field that know they have a coach that has their backs if they deserve it.
Last edited by sandlotmom
I think it all depends on the kid.

Physical maturity plays a part to be sure. Some guys don't hit their growth spurt until they are well into High School, that could be a factor.

The mental side is very important, but personally I believe it differs from kid to kid. That's how it's supposed to be, we're all different. Depending on the program, good players will get their chances.

In my opinion, and coming from the fact that I remember what it was like to get pulled up to pitch on V as a FR...the "mental" side is not always about performance or on field ability. There can be friction when younger players come up and either take away playing time or play better than older players. Depending on the team chemistry, this will usually work itself out, but it can be humbling.

I know, and have coached, a kid that made V as FR after starting on JV as a 8th grader. He's very physically mature with some more growth potential. He's a great athlete. His biggest struggle, historically, has not been performing. It's been the fact he was almost always the biggest kid. For him, he plays with much more confidence when he doesn't feel like everyone is looking up to him. It's something I think that will change as he matures. He'll take his licks on V, and the V coach was smart enough to also have him come down and play JV games. The difference?

He'll get the experience of being around the older players on V. He'll see better pitching when he gets at bats. He'll get to fit in with the V team and fell more comfortable, which is BIG for him playing well. When he comes down to JV, he'll be the #1 pitcher. He'll play SS. It's a different arena and the only thing it can do is build his confidence.

Like I tell my son,who's a 8th grader on JV. Work hard, know what you can do, and don't let things YOU can't control mess with you. You can't make the line up for one. When you get your shot, go all out. Sometimes you'll come up short, that's life. Get up and do it again.
Just some advise from a parent who has been through this and onto the next level. I was very concerned that my son started his freshman year, playing on the freshman level. He would eventually be called up to varsity at the end of the year and pitch 2 complete game victories.

Could he have been pitching the whole year at varsity and been successful. Probably, but the coach wanted him to have the "confidence" of being successful, and that was HIS decision. As a parent, I'm glad I didn't question his judgement (at least not out loud).

In the end, it's really just not that important. Who really cares...? Maybe that is a question you should be asking yourself...
Well.....the reason for "wanting" to play varsity is to improve. To be able to perform at the highest level that he can, to help his team, to help himself. I would have the same take on this for any player capable of playing on the varsity. Most of the conversations I have with son are one-liners, he will ask me a question, and I will answer or give him some advice. For instance, when he told me he was going to get a chance to pitch varsity, I told him "great that's going to be a good exp. I know you can do well" When he had a so-so outing, I asked him what he learned from that exp.... what can he do differently?, I told him to challenge yourself every game on the JV team to throw a no-hitter..... The kid has the physical, the coach may want him to appreciate his opportunities more, I don't really know...... he may think he's not ready, I told him to work hard and be ready when the time comes, and to control what he can control....BTW Thanks to all that have given me advice and insightSmile
When you get one-liners from the kid, what that really means is "dad, stop asking annoying questions.

Best thing to do is leave him be and figure it out. Even if he makes a mistake, so what. He'll learn more from it than truying to preach something to him to do or get advise he don't agree with and ave it go in one ear and out the other. This is a time for him to figure it out for himself what he says or needs to do to reach his goal or if he has an issue with his coach on his place on the team.

If a kid actually takes your advise in something, if you were to ak him how he handled a situation and it turned out to be a positive, he's more likely to come back and say "hey dad, you were right about that"..Then you know you got your point across
Last edited by zombywoof

Add Reply

×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×