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I cannot speak as a pro-player parent (yet?), but I thought with the college season about to get underway, it might be good to talk a little about what you may face as a parent of a college player. For sure, many exciting moments/games. You will probably feel more pressure than before...rest assured that your son very well may not. He is LOVING this.

But here are a few things I have witnessed firsthand that I wasn't necessarily ready for from other fans in the stands:

* Heckling - on the road, especially at a rival school, you can bet your son will be heckled at the plate or on the mound. Especially if he strikes out or gets lit up. Some of its funny, some of it hurts a little...to be honest. Just be aware, it may sound personal, but it really isn't. Just fans being fans.

* Angry hometown fans - Our son got off to an up-and-down start as a pitcher his freshman year. Great outing followed by a horrible outing followed by an ok outing followed by a ?? outing. You get the picture. So I'm sitting near the front row trying to take some photos in about his 5th game or so and as they bring him in out of the bullpen, from behind me I hear, "uh oh, here comes another adventure!" Virtually every emotion cut through me, laughter, sadness, hurt, anger, more laughter. I sat quietly and took my pictures.

* More angry hometown fans - Another parent of a freshman at our son's school (who will likely be a very high draft choice) told me as he watched a game, the fan in front of him (not knowing who was nearby) declared to his friend about this parent's son, "this is the worst XXer I have ever seen in the history of this college!" One week later, this same fan was googling all over this same parent about his great son. Fans are fickle - huh?

* College message boards - I have read fans comments where my son was praised, then ripped, praised again...then ripped yet again. Some have wanted to see him start, others have never wanted to see him on the field again. Its all over the map. I find it funny now. But it was tough at first. You wanna post back - DON'T! (if you can help it Big Grin).

I think the main message here is your son is entering a new, magnified and much more intense arena than ever before. Not everyone knows you anymore...or who you are. They are fans. They will say things without realizing. It sounds personal, but its not. It may be genuine, or it may not.

Consider writing down some of the things you hear and read to look back on in a few years. I think you'll enjoy some of them much more later than at the time you first hear it.

Maybe some of the other college or pro parents have some stories to share too? Lets hear 'em!

Good luck! Wink
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We have a "righty" who also pitched freshman year. Our experiences very closley mirror yours jbb.

I remember sitting in the top row watching his first (very brief) start, the first Sunday of freshman season, holding his mothers hand, as the coach retrieved him after an inning plus and 4 or 5 runs, glad at least he was doing well in class. He was not happy after that game.

I listened on the internet to his next start nearly a month later as he made an all-tourney team, half way around the world in Hawaii.

Up & down it was that year. It gets better, but keep antacids handy.

It took me awhile to realize the schools fans feel the players either help or hurt the fans team, while players regard the team as theirs.

I read the fan boards and chuckle at the mis-information. I took the bait once and responded, learning my lesson first hand. It's my kid, but it's their team and so be it.

If it was for parents they would call them "Parents Boards" not Fan Boards. Big Grin

After two years, I can't believe it's (at least) half over. Roll Eyes
Last edited by Dad04
I don't think out of town heckling would ever bother me. I remember once that David Wells complained that he hated Cleveland fans because they said his mother wore army boots. I am positive they didn't mean it personally Big Grin

With respect to hometown criticisms, I think that would be tough and may likely be tougher for a pitcher's parent because the spotlight is on them every pitch. I know the fans always want to see the guy that is on the bench until they actually get that guy in many cases. Chris Leak from Florida is a great example. The fans were booing him at home this year in favor of the freshman. He was a senior and now has a National championship under his belt. They probably love him now. This seems to go along with sports. Mickey Mantle was booed initially in New York and he just had to go out there and win them over.
justbaseball,

It only gets worse by leaps and bounds.

Picture yourself setting in the stands on opening day... maybe 50,000 fans. Your son (the pitcher) is taken out of the game to resounding BOOOOO's from 49,998 fans (Wife and I weren't booing Smile).

Only thing I could think of is... How do you ever prepare a child for this experience? I've heard the boos many times without thinking much about it. Things just seem a whole lot different when your son is the player they are booing.
quote:
Picture yourself setting in the stands on opening day... maybe 50,000 fans. Your son (the pitcher) is taken out of the game to resounding BOOOOO's from 49,998 fans (Wife and I weren't booing ).


...but the swelling in your chest on a good day must make the bad day less significant.

I remember watching another poster, from way back, on TV, watch his sons MLB debut on the mound. They showed him alot. He went nuts nearly every time he threw a pitch.

quote:
I thought things were going to get easier, not harder


The emotional swings were more severe until I realized I had zero control, and it was in good, capable hands anyways. Roll Eyes


quote:
Chris Leak from Florida is a great example. The fans were booing him at home this year in favor of the freshman. He was a senior and now has a National championship under his belt. They probably love him now.


Chris Leak will be remembered by Gators as a leader on the 2007 National Championship team, probably long after he and I are both gone. The length, depth and breadth of support for that team is that big. They may have shocked the world, but no one here was surprised, except maybe by the level of thumping OSU got. The Gators are committed to excellence for the entire atheltic program, and school. That BC$ check should help too.
Last edited by Dad04
The same reasons I abandoned the stands when my son was a youth player keep me out of the stands now in college.

The reasons are just magnified in college...The heckling from the student section bothers me far less.......see, I am an umpire...I'm kind of used to zoning out fan comments....

The student section can run the gamut from entertaining to sick and insensitive, I have heard a few things that made me laugh and quite a few that made me wince....

The hometown fans "OWN" the team, your son may be here for 4 years, but they have been coming for XX years.....they have no qualms about disecting, in detail, every one of your beloved sons faults....real or imagined....

If it bothers you too much, you can always sit on the visiting side....which I have done....they dont care a lick who your kid is.....
JBB,
Great post and so true. Been there done that! The message boards can be VERY cutting. People can even find your email address and send you emails and tell you how your son stinks. I wouldn’t say it “hurts” but it does make me realize there are some very serious fans and some mean spirited people imbedded in that fan base. Two things an athlete must realize ---- many fans view the athlete as “their” property to “use” as they see fit --- and --- an athlete’s worth is based on what he is doing TODAY. As the father of an incoming freshman I was expecting the college fans to seek me out and introduce themselves, welcome me, roll out the red carpet so to speak but it never happened. Yes there were a few (you can count them on one hand) that made an effort to be friends and we remain friends today but the majority could care less about the parents. College and pro parents seem to be near the bottom in the hierarchy of the team’s structure. I’m sure that what I describe is more prevalent at the larger more competitive colleges.
Fungo
Very good tip for the freshman parents JBB! Smile No matter how you think you're prepared for the next level, being the parent of a college player is quite a change! Don't expect the parent welcome wagon/ team mom stuff! Big Grin We've also met some great parents of team members but found most really don't care who's who. Had one parent actually use the phrase "This isn't High School" when I made the effort to introduced myself! I also agree with the property feeling of the fans. Produce or sit down, period! Don't expect anyone in the stands to say anything resembling "Get 'em next time!" Cool. The best you can hope for when your son is not playing up to par is silence. Wink I love going to the games and following the team on the road, but the emotional connection just isn't there like you're use to. It is a fabulous experience when you see your son take the field for the first time, enjoy the moment ... and wear kevlar!
Last edited by RHP05Parent
As a newcomer I couldn't help but notice this topic as if it were speaking directly to me. It makes me want to schedule an elective surgery junket to Thailand for some of those "extra thick skin grafts.

On the way back maybe I should stop in at piaa_ump's place for some "Hard-of-Hearing Aides," and drop in at justbaseball's for some debate lessons with his wife.

Dad04 did you get the quart size Tums or gallon of Maalox?

Jerry, I suppose the quirky combination of opening day high hopes and tall suds cannot be prepared for in this world, nor can the sound of all those boos when seemingly aimed directly at your soul. Forgive them, they know not what they do.

Seriously though, thanks to all of you folks for sharing your stories. I will take your sage advice to heart. I know it's likely to be a rough ride no matter what, but having the foresight to anticipate that rude slap in the face hopefully softens the blow a little for me. I'm just glad they don't sell booze at Spizzle's place. Smile
quote:
* College message boards - I have read fans comments where my son was praised, then ripped, praised again...then ripped yet again. Some have wanted to see him start, others have never wanted to see him on the field again. Its all over the map. I find it funny now. But it was tough at first. You wanna post back - DON'T! (if you can help it ).


JBB, you are one up on me as I haven't reached the point where you are in saying "I find it funny now." After reading the boards I always seem to find myself swearing I'll never do it again because it upsets me so...yet, the willpower still isn't there. I equate it to a car accident you come upon while driving. You know you really shouldn't look, but just can't seem to help it. Roll Eyes But, I am proud to say I haven't succombed to posting back, as much as I would like to! Eek
Last edited by luvbb
quote:
Does this stuff go on in D-III, too?


I'm sure it depends on the size of the DIII and the level of the program, but I would say, Yes, but to a lesser degree. Most DIII crowds are smaller (some a LOT smaller) so other adults are more likely to realize that the parents of the "bum" on the field might be sitting right behind them. But that also means that as the years go by, you are more likely to hear the funny things that a few of the freshman parents are prone to saying (when they don't understand yet that it might be a couple more years before their son becomes the star like he was in HS). Big Grin

The pain you feel when your son doesn't live up to expectations in one game, or more ... I'm guessing that pain is similar at most levels. It has to hurt a LOT to see your son ripped by strangers on a DI message board. But it's also pretty uncomfortable to sit near the smaller crowds who do know who you are, when your son just messed up.

I know there are some members on this board whose sons went right from being HS stars to being impact players as freshmen in college, but that is not the norm, even at a small college. I can't remember who gave the advice in years past to sit back and just try to enjoy watching your son, and NOT interfere with your son's enjoyment by worrying out loud, etc. But if you can do that, you may realize that your son is having the time of his life, even if the stats don't show it.
We have been very fortunate, our fans love and appreciate our players and very rarely will you ever see anyting written about them or hear anything negative at a game. Most of them know who the parents are. I also have never seen anything negative written about other players from other teams. I have noticed that many of our fans do have a tendency to be rather rough on the opposition during a game, which I do not support. Eek Let's just put it this way, with out cheapseat section behind RF and CF, pity the opposition. I have not been to enough away games to hear any heckling, but I understand it goes on. My son's philosophy, if you can get through a Clemson/South Carolina game (either stadium) you can get through anything!

The fans are very supportive of the parents and I have found them all to be wonderful. Many have thanked us on occassion for sending son to Clemson and come to say hello when we are in town. I felt the same type of appreciation while son was on the cape.

A few years ago someone blasted son here on the HSBBW and on the Tigers chat boards. It was very mean spirited. At that time Fungo gave me very good advice, which I have followed. I have only once seen something negative written about son on another site, and I had to laugh at the comments. They were complaining son acts too c*cky on the mound, I feel he isn't c*cky enough.

If you think that the roller coaster ride is over after recruiting...HA! It's a whole different animal! The highs and lows are amazing, nothing like it, but I have to admit it has been the best! For him and us.

Thanks for the post JBB!
I can't believe I'm about to tell this.

Only three or four games into the season of my son's freshman year, his team played a school not far from our home.

The coach graciously had put him into the starting line-up probably expecting an impact on the gate receipts for the game.

My family is large and they didn't disappoint with about 55 in attendance. Five rows of eleven all tight together. It was actually a final family visit with an ailing uncle.

After visiting with everyone, I took a seat by two young men, obviously from the other team, one row up, right behind the on-deck circle.

On the other side of two young mouthy college boys was another cousin or maybe my sister.

I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to the boys but they were obviously going to have a good time heckling our team as the batters hit the on deck circle.

Top of the first, and my son is hitting third in the order, and as he steps into the on deck circle, here it comes. They have read the bio, know he is a freshman, and it was relentless.

My son knew where I was but didn't look back, took his AB where I think he popped up to the pitcher.
So, here he comes strolling back to the dugout and my young college friends are full steam ahead with about every insult you could think of especially with reference to his freshman status.

My son never looked my way. ducked his head, and walked into the dugout.

My family looked around and me, and I just kinda closed my eyes and shook my head, indicating, just ignore them.

I swear the hecklers let up until my son's next AB, and then here they go again. Endless abuse.

My son never looked back, K'd I think, and headed for the duguout.

I'm still kinda lookin' at my family just indicating ignore them.

Quieted down until his next AB, and up it starts once he hits the on deck cirecle, not 10 feet away.

He grounds out to the pitcher, 0-3 on the night. Heads to the dugout never looking my way.

As they are waling away at my son, I look up and my sister is coming down the row just about to get to my "friends", and they say something to her.

Just as she gets to me, she turns back, and gets the two boys attention, and says, "I'd like to introduce you to Matt Smith's dad, and the rest of his family sitting in these five rows pointing in the direction where they all sat behind me. Most of my uncles and male cousins are not small men.

One of the boys looks at the other and says, "Well, it's time for some popcorn and a Coke, don't you think?"

And, up the stairs they went.
jbb,
So let me mix in a bit about the next level.
Minor league baseball promotions include things like "Thirsty Thursdays" and the "beer batter."
These generate very large crowds and by the 3rd inning, if not before, particularly biting comments/heckling. Some, not much, is very funny. Most.... not very funny and a lot of it quite personal. All of it is largely influenced by copious quantities of alcohol.
Most professional teams help our sons understand what is coming. It is pretty hard the first time you encounter this as a parent. In a sense, our son knows when he has not played his best. Whatever is said does not bother him because he is already working himself through it and getting ready for tomorrow. Same is true when you go 3-4 and the press wants quotes. You are already focused on tomorrow but helping a reporter is part of what you do.
All in all, it is part of what they do in minor league ball. Some days have been ones to forget, but most days more than compensate.
If hometown fans booing your son is your biggest problem then consider yourself lucky.

My son so far has two classmates (class of 2005 high school) who missed their first Christmas at home because they are in Iraq.

I've got one son playing D-1 college football and another high school senior who will be playing college baseball next year. I'm the luckiest parent in the world.

Sorry to throw a wet towell on this post but everyone on here is blessed. Get a grip and realize that this country has got kids the same age as ours dying every day in Iraq and Afganistan. Their parents would love for them to have the opportunity to stand on a mound and get booed.
quote:
I've got one son playing D-1 college football and another high school senior who will be playing college baseball next year. I'm the luckiest parent in the world.

Sorry to throw a wet towell on this post but everyone on here is blessed. Get a grip and realize that this country has got kids the same age as ours dying every day in Iraq and Afganistan. Their parents would love for them to have the opportunity to stand on a mound and get booed.


Let me throw that towell back at ya. I got one son playing ball and one son in Iraq .... I'm luckier than you. Wink
PS: Both have been booed for what they do
quote:
I got one son playing ball and one son in Iraq .... PS: Both have been booed for what they do


Luke, that started me crying ... and praying. Can't quite stop crying for some reason. And every time I see a post from you, it will remind me not to stop praying for the safety and encouragement of your son, and all of our men and women serving our country, especially in war torn areas. God Bless both of your sons, but especially the one in Iraq.

Julie
Great and accurate descriptions here. The first time I heard "world class heckling", and make no mistake, many fans (i.e., fraternities) take a great deal of pride in their loudness and innovativeness, I laughed so hard I cried. A frat at my son's school had done their homework and were merciless...and constant....and creative. At the end of the doubleheader, one of the opposing players walked past me and I commented upon the "gallery", which had really ripped him as he was...ahem...rotund (comments about having to bury him at 1B, too big to move, Jenny Craig, etc.,etc.). He said "I wish we had some fans like that, they're great!". After the last game on Sunday, on the last round of infield in the 9th, the opposing infielders threw 3-4 baseballs to the hecklers, and shook hands with them as they left the park.

Best story I heard was the discovery on the internet of a poem written by an assistant coach; as he took the field to coach first, a group of frat guys leaned over the fence and recited it to him....

JT, this goes on at DIII as well, but didn't seem quite as intense as I've heard at D I and D II in ODAC and USAS conferences. Just expect it and enjoy it, and warn Mrs. JT to stay calm. The guys don't mind it, and often get a huge kick out of it.
Last edited by hokieone
" It reminded me of one longtime fan who asked me something like, " How is your son handling not having success?" "

How completely ruuuude! Bottom line, people need to think before they speak!!! ( grumble grumble grrrrrrr ) Justbaseball,...you'll have to share how you responded to that one! Tell your wife, if she needs back up,..I'm there!

As a parent of a player,...I've considered spizzlepops's skin graph idea for thicker skin ( but like,..OUCH! That may be too invasive for my weak tums/maalox filled tummy, but I was giving it consideration at first ),...and have concluded to go with EH's idea of earplugs,...in the outfield, with duct tape for my mouth ( you all can thank me later ), and I think I'll take RHP05parent's advice and bring kevlar just in case!

Notes well taken for if/when we get to the college level.

Perhaps,...I'll also keep an extra pair of boxing gloves attached to the back of my chair which will hang just underneath our Name on the back of my jersey! Kinda like a " Don't Trespass " sign I have on my fence at home. Oh,...and if FO will allow,..perhaps I could borrow a few of his family members to sit in for our games! I think his sister is one smart gal!!!

No one ever wants to actually hear their son/daughter being booo'ed.
That's probably a good reminder for all of us, no matter what side of the field we are on. Everyone out there belongs to someone!......
( even the umpires! ) Wink Big Grin
Last edited by shortstopmom
As I read these "heckles" I am just laughing...
...as my dad and I would consider ourselves "world class" in the heckling department. Cut our teeth on class A baseball in Florida back in the early 70's--back before the minors were a bigger deal. Ah, the memories.
(I shall promise to lay off the newly installed 1B, though, at perhaps our son's school's biggest rival, right LNM.)
quote:
Both have been booed for what they do


I hope my post wasn't considered whining or complaining.

I have loved every minute............

A few of the really idiot hecklers are quickly forgotten when a long fly ball starts it's flight and a whole set of fans in the stands rise to see what it about to happen and erupt in applause as it sails over the fence........

Equally satisifying in the opposing teams stadium, just not as loud.

Sail away with me.........

To another world.
It was a rude awakening for my wife and I when we heard our son get heckled for the first time. Some of these fans are pretty creative. They'll go to your team's website and print out the player profiles just to get good info on how to razz them.

We really had no problem with most of it since it is all in good fun. We got a little touchy at St. Bonaventure because the comments were mostly X-Rated and we had our 10 y/o son with us. I think my favorite was my son being called a smurf (he is vertically challenged) at Southern Miss.

I got real upset at a group of guys at Miami of Ohio, but then found out they were former players having a bachelor party at the game. They got pretty out of hand, but then went up to the guys after the game and told them what good sports they were for taking it all.

When he played in Canada last summer, the teams had the "Beer Batter". If the player strikes out, beer goes on sale for $1.00 through the next half inning. Talk about pressure when everyone in the park is trying to get you to K.
Last edited by pfbear13
Last yer JME's team went to Fresno State for their spring break tournament. Our team didn't get hit too hard by the hecklers there but I attended several of the Fresno games and their fans are world class hecklers. For the most part it was funny but on occasion they did seem to cross the line.

We didn't play them until the last game of the tournament and it was late on a Friday night. We may have been targeted heavily but in the 2nd inning there was a short rain delay and both teams started having fun with the crowd. The highlight was when four of our guys performed a perfect bobsled run with each pretending to jump in the sled and then execute the turns as they flew down the imaginary run. The fake crash at the end had all 4 guys pretend to go flying out of the sled.

The crowd and Fresno's team gave our guys a standing ovation. It was hilarious and after that it seemed we had won over the fans. We ended up losing the game 10-9 in the bottom of the 9th but the crowd never did verbally abuse our guys.
With a last name of "Zink" the door to the "heckle rooom" opens early in life. My son once said it when the other fans don't heckle you is when you've lost your advantage.

The best was in HS when I was sitting with my 90 yr old grandmother who went to all of his games, and some fans from the rival Madison school were doing their best to get my kid worked up. Grandma leaned over and said to me.. "Those kids must be new, they think his name is "Dink". After I wiped off the seeds I spit on her lap I explained what they were saying, and she said. "Oh well, it's nice to see they are having fun even though they are losing".
Last edited by rz1
pfbear13....

I know we're discussing college, and I'm sure my son will get his share of heckling this year as a freshman player. He is vertically challenged as well - 5'7" 145lbs., but during this a game against their most hated high school rival, he was at bat and the opposing fans, mostly young, really got on him about his size. "Look they have a 6th grader on their team" was what he said he heard. He had a 1-0 count on him with two on. POW, leftcenter field HR! The next at-bat, not one heckling comment was made. My son said that was his best high school baseball memory.

I'm looking forward to him playing in college, but to be honest, it's going to be tough to be tight-lipped. Saving embarassment to my son, I will 'hold fast' any comments that I may want to re-direct to opposing fans.
Last edited by BoomerIL
The opposite side of the spectrum on this topic shall be represented by Dartmouth; where the college administration has deemed it necessary to ban heckling at the baseball games. Campus security cops are now stationed in the stands near the baseball fraternity to intimidate the hecklers into 'polite' behavior. The tolerant liberal elite of the Ivy League finds heckling intolerable.

Before the ban was implemented in 2006 I attended some 2005 games at which the hecklers were in fine form. The research done by the students makes this pretty funny. The Dartmouth kids were sharp & biting, but not obscene. My son has said he enjoys the opponent hecklers at away games.

OTOH, the guy at Pepperdine last year was just obscene. He got tossed by campus security.
quote:
Sorry to throw a wet towell on this post but everyone on here is blessed. Get a grip and realize that this country has got kids the same age as ours dying every day in Iraq and Afganistan. Their parents would love for them to have the opportunity to stand on a mound and get booed.

Crawdad,

Personally, I’ve had much bigger problems than 50,000 people booing my son. Didn’t even say it was a problem, it just happened! He probably felt a little better about it on payday!

The only reason people are bringing up these stories is because that was the topic! “Justbaseball” asked for other experiences. No one here has said their kid was unlucky. Actually I think most here understand how fortunate their baseball playing son's are.

I can’t think of any group that is more supportive about our troops than those people right here on this site! BTW, when my oldest son was fishing body parts out of the ocean a few years back (He is a career Navy man) that was much tougher than 50,000 fans booing my youngest son at a baseball game. One got over it immediately, the other still has night mares!

The troops are one subject and a good one! Baseball fans are another subject!

I would love it if parents all had the "opportunity" to experience 50,000 people who "temporararily hate" their sons guts, but I'd much prefer them to experience the "cheers" of 50,000 people! It's all part of the GAME!

What's going on in Iraq is not any GAME! Anyone who would boo those men and women deserves a one way ticket to Iraq!
Last edited by PGStaff
Cant remember where this happened, but it was funny. The player, I think maybe the RF for Florida, had a My Space page that the opposing fans discovered. It had a picture of his girlfriend or maybe ex-GF. They copied her face, blew it up to life size, and made masks and some of those face-on-a-stick things they held in front of their faces.

There were tons of students wearing his GF's face out there heckling the tar out of him that day. I think the player actually got a huge laugh out of it.

As a Mississippi State Grad, I was once a frequenter of the infamous "Left Field Lounge" at Dudy-Noble Field. Boy were we merciless on opposing outfielders. Albert Belle hated us.

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