Coaches

No doubt your son is a very good player.

Tell your son to go talk to the coach, if he wants to, if not let it work itself out.

This happens at every level of baseball, as a parent, get used to it and stay out of it!

The kid must speak to the coach one-on-one and ask what reason(s) he's not in the lineup.

This will work out.  99% of coaches play the best player, period.  If your son is his best SS, it will work itself out.

I will say this from my own experience with my own sons...have no idea if it relates to your son or not...these types of things usually related to a player having broken some type of team rule.  Behavior, grades, poor effort in practice, late to practice, inappropriate attitude towards teammates...etc...  Not sure your son would even tell you if he knew...and if he didn't, that would only make him "normal."  But I guess you could ask him?

One comment,

With no reason to him or myself.

The coach may(?) want to explain to your son...if he asks...but he has no obligation to explain to you.

Thanks everyone for your input, and yes I will stay out of it. 

Hi Ngut mom and welcome to the site,  I am going to comment on some of your comments.  Please don't take offense, just trying to help shed some light and give some perspective...

Pretty much every HS player in the country has been playing since the age of six and has become a pretty good player.  It sounds like your son is a very good HS player but don't get caught up in what HS stats may say.  Do a search here on the importance (or not) of HS stats.  It will be enlightening. 

Every player that plays HS ball and some travel ball will get tons of invites to various camps and if a player attends a few, the invites will snowball.  Rarely is it an indication as to how good the player is but an opportunity for those putting on the camps to make money.  That is not to say that there aren't lots of very good players that go to camps.  There are.  There are even more average players that go.  Most evaluators will provide positive feedback to the players.

OK, I think this might be a biggie... "he has a problem with my son since he came back from his trip to Florida".  Was the camp during the HS season?  Did son get proper OK to attend from HS coach and did he miss any HS practice or game time because of the camp?  This could have something to do with what is going on?  Just a thought.. could be a million other things.

"..Understanding that coach of his..."  that coach has a constant stream of difficult decisions regarding what is best for the school, the program, the team and for each player in the program.  These decisions range from playing time, position, discipline, fairness, game management, schedule and travel logistics, safety, setting an example and teaching the right life lessons and on and on.  A great deal of those decisions are not going to be understood by a group of parents who each think, as you said, that thier kid is the best at what they do.  So, don't try to understand it all.  Just try to be supportive and appreciative and set the good parent example for your son in the way you handle interaction with the coaches and other parents.

Oh no, not the dreaded CENTER FIELDER at SS!  Sorry, just kidding.  Look, there could be hundreds of reasons for the move.  It is always best to advise your son to focus on being the best he can be and to be a great team player.  Everything else will work itself out.

"as a coach he should be helping him improve and move forward.."  My guess is that is exactly what he is doing.

Hang around a while longer mom.  I think you'll find this place a tremendous help over the next few years or so.

That is a good question.  If this camp took place while HS games were ongoing the coach might be understandably upset, especially if the team is in the middle of a playoff race.  I know it was a spring break camp but did it occur at the same time as a scheduled spring break.  The message that was sent to the coach could have been, 'This camp is more important than the team.'

Things occur and sometimes kids miss games.  My son missed a weeks's worth of games this year because of a scheduled band trip to Poland.  He hated missing four games during the season but the opportunity to represent both his city and his school in a city near Warsaw was an opportunity that he couldn't pass up.  He wasn't the only player that went, two other ballplayers went on the trip.  The Coach was very supportive of this because it was something both school related and educational for the kids.

But if your son missed meaningful games because he was going to a camp could easily be taken the wrong way.

I think Cabbage hit it right on....I did quick check, looks like the UA Camp was

Jan 18-21st....depeneding on where you are, and your weather situation, seems like that is prime time for teams gearing up for the beginning of the season.  If your son did not talk to the coach about the trip, it is very possible he is learning a lesson about priority and commitment.  Plus, maybe the coach could have saved you a lot of money if your son had toalked to him about that camp, just sayin....

But I have to be honest, my son has been playing baseball since he was six years old and has become a very good player, his stats prove it.

By the way that was written, I didn’t understand if you were talking about his HS stats or his stats since he was 6 years old. Can you clarify?

I take it as his current stats. Since she said "he has BECOME a very good player, his stats prove it."

I appreciate everyone's view and advice. I have to say when my son went to camp baseball season had not started yet, It was during basketball season, he did play basketball but did not miss any games,besides different coaches. It looks like the coach favors certain players. I know you have that everywhere, but I don't understand why they can't be fair and help their players improve and built confidence. I have talked to my son about this and told him no matter what do your best and respect all, players, coaches, umps everyone.

Yes talking about his current stats in high school, he's been on varsity team since he was a freshman.

So what are his current stats? Its really difficult to judge stats without seeing them in relation to something. The link shows our pitchers so far this season. Here’s their grades.  http://www.infosports.com/scor...r/images/pitall1.pdf

Adams – Sr

Elgin – Jr

Spohr – Jr

Stafford – Jr

Yu – Jr

Cisneros – So

Gomez – So

I’m showing you so you can compare. Our school is in the largest school category in Ca. The teams we’ve played so far this season had a winning percentage of well over .600 last season, so you know the competition is pretty fierce.

No you don't. Stop giving your son built in excuses. Teach him accountability please.

Teaching him accountability and not using this as an excuse, I agree. However, her statement is not inaccurate. I know I play favorites, my favorites are the 9 best players who give it their all, every game!

Most every coach favors certain players when it comes to playing time.

Thiis favoritism is almost always based on a "combination" of the following.

Talent

Effort

Intelligence

Behavour

Attitude

Reliability

A players talent level has to be "great" in order to make up for any problem in the other areas. For some coaches it makes no difference how much talent a player has if he lacks the other things.  For other coaches it is about talent alone.  

Over the years it has been proven time and again that talent alone is not enough. That is why a player's make up has become so important in scouting.

Favoritism does exist!  What some think is fair, others will consider unfair. It's all about the ability to adjust and overcoming the obstacles.

This is not meant as a direct response to the original post.  It's just that most complaints come from those feeling slighted.  The coach feels differently about it.  The parents of the player on the bench believe their son is head and shoulders above the player in the line up.  The parents of that kid in the line up, probably believe their kid is the best. In the end the coach will be considered unfair for playing his favorite.

BTW... A good goal for any player is to become one of the coaches favorites.  Because if you do that, you're going to have a better chance to be successful.  It's not that hard to become one of the favorites.  See the list above!  You don't have to do much out of the ordinary to have a coach like and respect you.  On the other hand... You actually have to do "something" to cause a coach to dislike you!  

People need to figure this out!

Please understand I'm referring to the vast majority of coaches.  As in most everything, there can be some rot!

Agree with CabbageDad and CoachMills ….

First, don’t read too much into HS stats … while it sounds like your son is a very good ballplayer, comparing stats between players, as a justification for your argument can be misleading and misrepresentative … so many other things go into a coach’s decision on who to start and who to play.  It’s never just black and white.  If the HS coach has been there a long time, he must be doing something right and must be experienced and knowledgeable.  If that is the case, I would find it hard to believe that he is singling out only your son and being unfairly punitive.  I am not saying it’s not possible, it’s just unlikely.

Second, as CoachMills pointed out … this is your son’s deal, he’s got to talk to the coach.  So many kids just quietly accept what happens and never deal with the situation directly or are afraid of the answer they will get.  I have never heard of a coach NOT being willing to discuss an individual player’s situation and giving him feedback and guidance.  Again, your son (and you) may not like the answer, but then at least you will know what the coach is thinking … you can then hold him accountable to what he said and go from there.

Good luck …. I hope it works out.

Hi Ngut Mom,

PG just put up an excellent post.  Please do not get distracted by Stats4nats stat comparisons.  He is an excellent source for breaking down stats but, IMO, I think you will be coming away with the wrong message if you go that direction with your original question.

PS - oops, typing as Buddha gave the same message... hopefully you find value in the consistent advice.

Ngut Mom, the statement about the coach playing favorites doesn't correspond with what had previously transpired.  You stated he made the varsity as a freshman.  He was playing as a sophomore.  He was awarded some honors from his productivity.  IMO, there are other things at work here.  I can't think of any coach who benches his SS without a good reason.  Simply by being the SS, he was given a great opportunity at a very early stage in high school that demonstrated the coach's respect for what he had done. You say his stats demonstrate that he is productive.  Something drastically changed.  I will make one statement that you might not like.  There are various reasons other than just team things that change a coach's opinion about a player.  I hope your son doesn't fall in to those categories.   

Coaches play favorites! Is there a baseball field in America where this isn't said by the parent of a bench player? Coaches see talent differently than parents. It's the parents who  have the biased talent judgement.

Ngut Mom - one other factor not mentioned is your son is a sophomore.  There may be (and often there is) an upperclassman (junior or senior) that is at least as good as your son.  A Junior only has one more season after this year to play and for a senior it is his last hurrah, so to speak.  So keeping that in mind, the upperclassmen will most likely get the preferential playing time unless your son is significantly better in the coach's opinion ( and his is the only one that counts - it is his team).

I agree with many others here.  Your son should approach the coach and talk to him in private and find out just what he needs to do.  CoachB25 makes some good points - something else is at work here - not just your son's talent or stats.  Remember, the coach sees them everyday for 2-3 hours.

Some have touched on stats.  Stats mean something different to each person.  The problem with HS stats is it is not a large enough sample to make a an accurate assessment.  At least that's my opinion.

Other than what has been mentioned, he should continue to hustle in practice and be a team player.  If and when he gets another opportunity, he needs to make the best of it.

Ngut Mom -- I'm gonna wade in here as the dad of a freshman who's been following this site for a couple years. You are likely not REALLY clear on how good your son is. Sorry, but I'd bet on it. Invites to Under Armour and the rest are easy and meaningless. A few HS stats are equally meaningless.

What kinda gets under my skin is you saying "Lately the coach has not been fair."

First, life isn't "fair" as I'm sure you're teaching your sophomore stud. But second, I'd be willing to bet that while your son has potential ...either others have more, or he's lost the coach's confidence. Nearly all coches -- good or bad, want to win. They field their best 9.

I'm curious, though ... were they winning more games before of after your son was pulled? In other words, OBJECTIVELY ... if you were not his parent, would you be concerned?