Coaching descisions

Okay...?

 

Is this a question or an update?

 

 

My answer is it could be one or the other, both, or none of the above...

 

Good luck!

 

 

 

and so far, you are doing an outstanding job!

 

Giving you a bad time... when you say "Frosh season", am I OK to assume it is a freshman or JV team?

 

 

where is it writeen that it is a parents right to  nit pick?

I guess what I'm being a worry-wart about is, is DHing a good or bad sign generally? Haven't noticed the coach DH anyone else but I'm new to this. Yes, this is freshman HS ball, all 9th graders, 16 kids. School has a JV team too. Glad he made the team and is starting but to me (taking from MLB) the DH is usually the old slugger who can't do much but hit and is on his way out as soon as he stops producing. I don't see my son a liability defensively but I can't be objective.

 

And my perspective is to allow all players to get some time at this level. If my kid was all that he'd be on JV or V.

I wouldn't try to be a mind reader.  You have watched your son play for years.  These coaches have not.  

 

On a case by case basis it can be good or bad.  My son's best friend and teammate has always played short.  Mine has always caught and pitched.  Mine is pitching a very little bit on varsity and he plays JV to get ABs.  Guess where he plays on JV?? SS or 2B.  The parents of his best friend and my wife and I find it funny cause we don't see him that way at all even though he has made most of the plays there.  It's okay because he will catch all summer.

 

My point is the coaches don't see your son with the same biases (good or bad) that you or your baseball buddies do.  Be thankful he is in the lineup because several aren't.  You will drive yourself crazy trying to analyze every move.  

I'll be straight with you 2016. It's probably what you think it is: Coach is questoning his defensive skills. COULD it be that coach is just getting other boys in? Sure. Especially if his team is dominating. But most likely, coach likes his bat (for now. that won't last without production) but isn't loving his fielding. Maybe something to work on.

 

True recent anecdotal story...

I coach V.  Last night, we had both V and JV squads gathered together waiting to have team pics taken.  In an effort to provide some guidance to the JV coach, I asked the JV boys which of them were pitchers.  There were ten.  At least nine of the ten are truly potential contributors on the mound for V down the road and it is too early to rule any of them out.  We play two games per week.  (Keep in mind that Frosh/JV ball is supposed to be largely developmental for V).  When one of those nine pitchers starts a game and is doing well and he continues to ask for the ball again next inning, what do you do as a coach?  You sure as heck don't want to discourage that "give me the ball" attitude but you have nine other guys and you are trying to allocate the remaining 10 or so innings left for that week.  These are the types of things that most parents are not aware of when playing time and position decisions are made at those levels. 

 

That said, should your son be trying as hard as he can to make it really difficult to take him off the field and/or out of the lineup?  Absolutely.

If he's only DH'd one game, I would not worry.  It's early in the season and quite often coaches move players around to find the best mix.

 

It's quite possible coach sees something in practice for him to make that decision.  Who knows?

 

On the other hand, my son is at a DII JUCO as a freshman and I am tickled pink when he's in the game - whether it be at DH (most of the time) or his position (1B).  This was a kid who started for 3 years on varsity and was named 1st Team All District, 1st Team All Region, Honorable Mention State and All-Area 1st Team by the regional paper. 

Could be he is just a freshman!

Well the positive (I'm assuming) is that you're on here venting and saying what's going through your head because if you took this to the coach it may not end well.  Honestly there is nothing to complain or question as to what's going on with your son.  He's in the lineup, playing, contributing and helping the team win.  It's on been a handful of games, he's a freshman and it's freshman ball.  He will get his due if he's good enough.  As cabbagedad said - frosh and JV is about development and sometimes it's tough to get enough innings for everyone to see how good they are.  Practice is a wonderful place to learn the game and get better.  It is supremely vital to the development of a player to learn and produce in practice but where you figure out if you're a player or not is in the game.  There's a reason why the phrase "play yourself out of the lineup" exists - a coach uses a develepmental level team to figure out who is going to be there in 4 years helping to produce.  Those 16 kids on the frosh team will not all be on the varsity team in four years.  My guess is that at least half will be gone by then, if not more.

 

Relax, take a deep breath and enjoy what you're son is doing.  Provide guidance and support for your son because he will face tough times in this game.  He will need someone to help pick him up and not turn him into a victim when he's not in the lineup.

 

Always remember - it's best to be on the field at your secondary position than to be the number one back up at your primary position.  The name of that game is to be in that game.

I wouldn't stress over it 2016. When I made Varsity as a Soph. I was a catcher but I eventually became our DH 3 games into the year. Tell your son to stay upbeat about it, tell him to look for tendencies and tipping pitches. As a DH I didn't have to worry about fielding all I did was study the pitcher, take some air cuts off the tee while the team was in the field and I was ready to go. Don't sit on the bench and shoot the stuff with the bench guys. Always be mentally ready. I DHed my entire Soph. year eventually landed in the 4 hole, and Jr. year I split time with a Sr. at 1B, I played 1B when he pitched. Being a DH can help you develop as a force at the plate. Just have the right mindset and still during practice work on the glove.

great attitude right here!

Thanks for all the responses! Not venting or complaining (maybe just a little stress). Would never take it up with the coach, it's my son's thing. I'll sit back and observe as the season progresses and gently suggest to him reasons he may be in the DH role, and if that's how it goes as jefftso said I'll make sure he makes the most of it.

Here's a little twist on the great advice you have gotten, 2016Dad:

 

Support the TEAM. It's so much more fun if you can just do that. If the coach has decided that the best way for your son to contribute is as DH, then support him in that role. I also would stay away from "gentle reminders" about why he's DHing, because you don't know.

 

I say this as a 2Bmom who wasted way too much time during HS thinking he ought to be at SS. He reminans at 2B in college, so it all worked out just fine.  Just relax, have fun, enjoy the games, and support all of the players out there.

My advice is not to suggest anything to your son. Enjoy all the good, let the disappointments go and fill your son with confidence. Anywhere in the lineup is a very good thing.

So let me get this straight.  There are 16 kids on the roster, your son has started every game, and has hit in the heart of the lineup every game and there is something to stress about?  I am going to say this out loud in an attempt to get some explanation.  I don't understand parents?  Your son is hitting 3 or 4 and is playing every game while the are guys that are sitting the bench and your going to nit pick and gripe that he was a DH for 1 game.  Are we serious?  I understand this may look like a rant but I just truly don't understand it. 

 

I have a player who is having a tremendous season thus far.  Every goal that was laid out for him when fall started he has met, including where I needed him to hit in the lineup.  The kid goes 5-5 and steals 4 bases in a game.  The next day the dad asks, "Do you see yourself using my son on the mound this year?

 

I am meaning no disrespect towards any parent on this board and for the most part I have a good relationship with the parents of my players.  I am sorry for high jacking this thread.  I truly do not understand it and am looking for an explanation as to why parents must constantly find something negative, especially when their son is in a successful situation. 

where is i written that daddy has the right to nitpick coches decisions

glad  to see so nany people trying to  educate me

What daddy hasn't? It's part of spectating and we have "skin in the game" literally. I don't agree they should make it known to the coach or other parents or the kid.

In HS I only heard husband complain one time about coach, who pitched son too much, too early.  I never heard him complain about college coaches as well. That doesn't mean that he didn't have anything to say about performances.

 

And he never said anything negative to son about any coach.

 

Your son is a freshman, this is a process, why not just sit and enjoy it before it's all over.  DO NOT compare what they do in MLB to what they do in HS.

 

BINGO!

My suggestion is get a rule book and educate yourself.

The DH in HS, college is not the same as the DH in proball and was he used as the DH or as an EH?

How are we supposed to know why your son's coach used him that way? Get used to it, your son can be used at anytime in anyway any coach wants especially in the beginning when he is trying to figure out who goes where and when, he's learning too.

 

If you came here to learn, why would you claim that you came here to nit pick the coaches decisions? Unless the coach puts your son in harms way, it's yor duty to support his decisions for the TEAM, not just your son. If you wish your son to play after college, get used to that concept, there is no i int TEAM!

 

 

There's another post on this site where the OP ask "Where is everyone?" My guess is they went someplace else after they asked a question here and got a load of crap for asking from some of the old time posters on this site.

 

 - 2016 simply asked a question about what something concerning his son.  He didn't talk bad about the coaches, didn't talk bad about the other players, didn't talk bad about the team.  He even made a joke and posted a smiley face to show he wasn't too serious. 

- 2016 said it wasn't something he planned  to complain about to the coach, other parents  or his own  kid.

- For his trouble, he gets some good answers from some knowledgeable posters. Coupled with those, however, are posts questioning his temerity for nitpicking the coach (which, btw, he wasn't. Rather he was simply asking why the coach may have decided to do this and was it something to worry about), not supporting the team (don't think he ever said he didn't), and letting him know that if he wanted his son to play in college and beyond then he'd better get used to wondering (don't think he mentioned college and this is a high school baseball website, fwiw.)

 

No wonder people post here only briefly and then leave!

 

2016 asked a question because he ha has some concern and he thought he might gain some insight from people who have been through the same thing with their kid, or who have more extensive knowledge of baseball than he. Yes, some of you may have heard this question from clueless freshman parents numerous times over the years that you have used to amass 10,000+ posts on this site. But it is new to him, the first time he has asked it, and he asked it in a friendly, non-confrontational manner. He deserves to be answered with some measure of respect. Barring that, just ignore him and his question altogether.

 

If people continue to ask questions about high school baseball and other people answer them in the same vein in which they are asked, this will continue to be the best baseball site on the web. If not, it will be just a couple of people talking to themselves.

Well said.

KC,

You see it one way, some see it another.

 

No problem in letting us know how his son is doing. My opinion is that he knew that what happened was not a bad thing.  He also made a comment all dads nitpic and that is so far from the truth.

Some say I am just a stupid mom, I have no clue about a lot of things, it doesn't make me run away or not post.  That's his decision.

If it is new to him, go get some reading material and try to understand as much as you can, it's a lot easier than coming here trying to be funny while asking a question that no one can really answer (why was the coach doing this).

 

 

JMO

 

TPM, you seem to be coming across a little bitter for some reason.  The guy is a new poster, and is learning on the fly, much like I did and everyone else has.

 

I am sure he has learned quickly with this post.

I am not bitter and not being mean. 

See my very first post.

I don't agree with the post of  "what daddy hasn't"? Is it fair to lump all daddys together?  That was unnecessary!  

Why can't folks (moms and dads) just sit back and relax and take it in and enjoy the experience, instead of trying to figure out what everything a coach does means. I think they will enjoy the experience so much better.

Maybe some day when some of the folks here get to the point where their kids are no longer playing the game, they will look back and say, "hey I SHOULD have enjoyed the experience instead of worrying about everything".

Now I admit that I don't always follow my own advice. I wish that someone had told me way back when not to worry over so much, so much stuff that is just part of the ride.  I mean, honestly there are folks reading whose kids never get a chance to play as freshman, this one wants to know why he just DH's that day?  DAD, BE HAPPY!

 

JMO, if you don't like it, don't read it!

 

TPM - I'm with the others, I think you need to choose your words more carefully, especially when you admit there was a time in your own past when you didn't in fact know it all.

 

I know you speak from experience, but others are only now where you've been.

"What Daddy hasn't" was a joke referencing the stereotype that all Dads - especially newbies - second guess the coach. It wan't an actual accusation directed at anyone on this site.

 

And while it's true that no one can give a definitive answer to what his coach is thinking, they can speculate, which is what most people do on message board. Or perhaps they can give an example - whether positive or negative - about a similar situation and what happened. It's called a conversation van anvan an be pretty cool.

 

As for being a Mom, that matters not a bit as it pertains to baseball knowledge, which you certainly possess. 

jp,
I think that you need to go back and read what I posted.  I never said anything about not being knowledgeable but rather that I could have taken more time to enjoy the ride.  And again go back and reread my first post.
Sorry I can't change how I feel. Too many folks worry about too many things. I didn't see the post as being funny just as you see mine as not choosing my words more carefully. 
We all see things differently.   There is MY happy face.

 

2016 This should be a great place to come with your question, not the library as some might suggest. I hope you will find this to be a great resource for a long time to come. By definition "nit-picking" is a small minor detail which I think perfectly frames your question acknowledging that your son is still getting some playing time. I think it is perfectly natural and wise to wonder why a role change takes place. You have received some great advice already. Mine would be mostly about communication and effort. Your son should let the coaches know of his goals and desires by word and action. His hitting skills are obviously appreciated. Keep working on those but figure out what else is needed, i.e. foot-speed, quick first step, or tracking fly balls....

 

“Some” know what they’re talking about.

 

You amaze me, TPM. I say tongue in cheek that you think you know it all, and you agree. Heads up, mom: It's what you learn AFTER you know it all that counts. This is not about how you FEEL ... it's about what you SAY to newcomers. This is not my happy face

You dads need to lighten up.  Sit back and enjoy the ride. Let your kids figure it out,  its their game not yours.

Lighten up? Lighten up??? Come on. YOU would be the one who's consistently unwilling to lighten up, TPM. I have read your posts for two years. I have a 2016 who may well make it as far or farther than your son. We are Cardinal fans from St. Louis, so I want badly to like you. YOU need to listen once in awhile and respond to what people SAY, not what you THINK they say. I am becoming convinced that you run more people off of this board than you help, Maybe it's time to move on. Or chill. I hope you chill, because even though you don';t REALLY know it all, you do have experience. That could be valuable ... if you'd think before you type.  

 

Whoa,let's take a breath jp24... Not sure what offended you so much and I'm certainly not sure with what your son "might do" in the future has to do with anything however I think you’re a bit over the line on this one.  While some of the old timers aren't always part of the welcome wagon, the trade off is if we listen to what is being said it can be of great value. To suggest TPM (or others) move on because they speak the hard truth is a grave mistake   While you may not like her direct method of communicating, TPM has helped more people on this site than you probably have post (myself included).  

 

Come on...no disrespect to the OP however did TPM's (and others) suggestion to not worry so much, learn the game (read a rule book)  and enjoy the ride warrant such an attack?  

I think not...so yeah...let's all lighten up a bit   

Edit:  By the way 2016dad I forgot to welcome you aboard...hope you don't run off and continue asking questions.  As you have found out you will be provided with plenty of opinions, the good thing is you will start to see things from many different POV's and make  some great friends .  I found the HSBBW to be much like moving into a new school mid-year..it might be a little awkward getting acclimated however once you get to know the personalities you will find this place to be a treasure chest of knowledge. Good luck! 

Maybe so. I'm just a little tired of the attacks on people just soliciting help. I'll chill -- but just to be clear ... the only reason I reference my son is that it honestly seems like TPM believes that her own's son success somehow entitles her to say whatever she thinks, however she wishes to say it -- regardless of how it makes others feel. I'm all for tough love, but I do believe she runs people off. Maybe there was a time she was helpful. Not so sure anymore.

 

What success?  A free agent who has had 3 surgeries trying to stay in the game (and hasnt played for stl in a year).
See you just illustrated my point...you guys are so caught up in success your sons may or may never have you seem to lose sight of what is really important. 
And you can figure out what that is for yourself.

Lets all just take a step back here.

 

TPM is right about one thing, Step back and enjoy the ride.  The kid is a freshman.  Most Freshman are treated like, well Freshman.  No matter how talented the kid may be or may become the fact is that most Freshman on Frosh teams are in developmental mode.  Our Freshman team this year has something like 20 kids on it.  Of course kids are going to rotate in and out of the games, some will play more than others but it is irresponsible of the coach to play only 9 or 10 out there and let the rest of the kids sit on the bench.  That doesn't develop kids for JV and later for Varsity. 

 

Expect your kid to sit at times, even if the kid is better than some of the other kids out there.  The purpose of Frosh teams, and even JV teams, is to develop the kids for the future.  Playing time is important for sure but learning how to play at a HS level, with HS rules against other HS kids is important, for all of the boys on the team.

 

Parents can screw it up for boys, seriously by putting too much into things.  Last year my son played Freshman ball, as a Freshman.  Seemed appropriate.  He was the 'starting' 2B and played a fair amount of 3B as well as pitched.  Yay for him.  There was another kid that was athletic but very very raw that started out as our third baseman.  The coach would put the kid out there for a couple of innings but usually by the third or fourth inning the kid would be pulled because he would make repeated errors, mostly judgement mistakes.   The kid was a good kid, nice kid, and seemed to enjoy himself.  Of course my son would slide over and take his spot because Dan can (normally) field a ground ball and make the throw to 1B without issue. 

 

I used to listen to the mother of this kid complain every time he was pulled, talking about how he wasn't getting his chance and why some other kid has to play her son's position, like it was handed down from God himself.  I bit my tounge because the kid was a good kid and was a great teammate.  And I could see he was talented, he just needed practice and work.  And he got that and improved as the year went on.  My son was and probably always will be a better fielder and hitter but the kid probably would be a good player, certainly a Varsity kid as a senior.  But he didn't go out for baseball this year, mostly because his mother and father didn't think the team was being 'fair' to him. 

 

It makes me sad because the kid loved to play and would have been happy just to put on the uniform.  Now he is doing nothing because a parent didn't think he was being treated 'fairly'.

 

Don't read too much into anything is my point here.

I agree with the point that everyone may need to lighten up.  TPM is a great and valued contributor.  One thing we need to realize is that we are not always going to have the same point or opinion.  That is what makes the board so great, IMO.  If I always wanted an agreeing opinion I would just to the mirror...LOL

 

Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

We are all going to have off days or a subject that doesn't sit well with us.

Can't we all just get along??????......LMAO

boy are we going overboard

 

after sleepin on it, i'll admit i was over the top. apologies, TPM. just got all ruffled, in defense of a newcomer. i want a lot of newcomers, as we're just beginning our HS journey, but I was too aggrevated.

jp24 you have a pm.
wklink, great post. So true, HS should be all about development.  Sometimes it's not always the best, that is why there are travel teams.
Rule of thumb should be not to read too much into anything, at all levels.
Enjoy the ride!

Someone asked me the other day on the phone "Why don't you post as much as you used to?" I told them I felt like the demographics of this site had changed so much I wasn't sure if I had to much to say. This thread kind of supports my feelings.

Some of you are in for some serious reality checks in this game. You don't have any skin in the game. You going to hit? You going to pitch? You going to play? Are you even an option? No. Your son is on the team. You can come and pull for the team or stay home if you want.

This idea that somehow the parent has skin in the game is a pathetic mentality. Parents that can't allow their son to earn his way, battle for his time, fight adversity real or perceived are a train wreck waiting to happen.

When your son has accomplished what DK has in this then come back and tell us how your skin in the game helped him achieve it. What a joke. Then you can take the credit instead of the player getting it. After all its your skin in the game. Lol

By the way TR Hit is right. If your kid plays long enough come back and apologize to him. He has forgotten more about this game than many of us know.

I'm a very positive person. I allowed this thread to turn me negative. I apologize for that. Sorry I mean that. I will post positive in the future or nothing.

Coach May, I appreciate your view, and hope you can appreciate that sometimes we get sideways, then realize we shouldn't have. That said, is it possible that the real challenge in a forum like this is that we all just read words on a screen... rather than having real conversations, which enable us to instantly assess intent and motive? That's what happened to me.

In any event, I hope you don't let me dilute your enthusiasm for posting here. I cannot tell you how many of your posts I've bookmarked and plan to give to my son when the time is right. I'm really here to learn from y'all. I crossed a line yesterday because I misinterpreted some things. In the future, I'm going to  always assume the right motives, and just focus on the message. Period.

CM,

I understand about sometimes saying things that are on your mind.  If you get grief from it so be it.

I agree with you, if that makes you feel better.

Thanks.

Man I wish I could simply post my experiences as a coach, a Dad of 2 sons who played and one still playing in college. My experiences of coaching so many young men over the years. I want you to know that no player ever made it, reached his full potential, learned how to grind it because the parent did it for them. But boy have I seen my share of kids fail and have miserable baseball experiences because a parent couldn't understand that.

We all love our kids. We all want to see them have success at what they love to do. We all have that built in desire to help them. Sometimes helping them means not helping them. Stepping back, supporting the team, staying positive and letting them learn what it takes and what it's going to take.

If you want it then fight for it. And you will know YOU earned it.

Coach May,

  Any advice to get parent's to understand this?

in terms of info and opinions   it helps to know abit about the posters depyj of knowledge and experience

if myparents ever got involved in my  playing  time .  and they neverdid it would have shocked me    and my dad was an ex semipro ctcher

What's up with all the TPM bashing! Listen newbies...she just so happens to know what she is talking about. She doesn't sugar coat it. She gives it to you straight. Now how one's choose to interrupt her advice...well, that's on them. Listen....you too just might learn something. And another thing parents need to consider....little Johnny isn't always quite the top prospect that parents think they are. Get them to a PG event for a fair and unbiased evaluation. Then take notice and work at it. Let your efforts and performance do the talking. In most cases...talent will prevail. Freshmen teams are often being evaluated for where the Coach feels their strengths may be for JV and Varsity. In College a player may play a position that they have never started at in High School... I for one am not gonna fret over any of our son's last season in high school. If his Dad's stroke last April taught us anything....Enjoy the ride...cause you never know when it can all end! TPM, I find your frankness and honesty refreshing!

       
       


EXACTLY!!! And part of becoming a man and being prepared for the real world!

       
       

TPM - He doesn't deserve explanations. In fact he owes you an apology.  And to the contrary ...David has had success that every little boy would love....and it's not over. But, if he decides that it is, everything that he has learned and gained in his experiences will carry over into the next chapter of his life's journey.

Coach May,
Please never stop writing whatever you're feeling and offering your insight. We are still waiting for your first book! And I know it'd sell!!!

Thanks Shelby, I got an apology and it was accepted.

 

I shoud NOT have said anything about son but I did. 

 

I don't know a lot of stuff, this has nothing to do with knowledge, this has to do with common sense, sit back and enjoy the ride, you don't have to be a genius to figure that out. 

 

The way I feel,  let them figure out just how difficult it is, how silly so much of this is, then they can come back and argue later on.

 

Hope all is well and your hubby is much better.

 

proudheismine,

Have no clue what you are talking about.

You ever wonder why the parents of players who have actually went on to achieve success in the game all fall on the same side of issues like this? The parents of players who have played past HS and some professional ball? It's because they learned a little something along the way. They learned that politics do exist. They learned that the game can be cruel at times. They learned that those tough times, struggles, perceived injustices real or unreal are all part of the process. Thatitdoes no good to be a victim and whine and moan when things don't go the way you think they should or hoped they would. That those things that seemed so had then only turned out to be part of the process.

How do you learn to deal with adversity if you never have to face it? If someone else has always faced it for you? How do you grow if your never allowed to grow? How do you handle it when that person that has always handled it can't handle it any longer?

Your setting your player up to fail when you won't allow him to fail. Failure, trials, adversity, either eats a player up and buries him. Or it drives him to be all he can be. Your either teaching him to be a man or a boy. Boys don't handle this game very well when their competing against men.

It's your call. But don't say no one ever told you.

I was reading posts in the thread and I found I was often having to go back and read the OP because I couldn’t quite see what some others were seeing in it. So I thought I’d comment by taking that op apart myself.

 

My kids Frosh season is going well but as a parent it's my duty to nit-pick and second guess the coach the first chance I get. 

 

I’ve been doing the baseball bulletin forums for over 10 years now, and I’ve read things like that probably thousands of times and made them myself at least hundreds of time as well. It should have been recognized as tongue in cheek without the emoticon, but with it, anyone who saw it as a serious statement meant to imply it was an action all parents should take is just going way over the top.

 

He started the first 3 games, batting 3rd or 4th, playing right field.

 

If true, it was a simple statement of fact, not a brag.

 

4th game he was a DH, still batting 3rd, but got no field time at all.

 

More statement of fact, but a piece of additional information.

 

If I wanted to read into this negatively I'd say maybe he's doing poorly at practice not playing his position well.

 

Letting the reader know he realizes there could be a legitimate reason for the boy not playing the field, with the NEGATIVE being on the boy, not the coach.

 

Positive spin tells me the coach is just trying to get some kids off the bench that usually sit most of the game.

 

Letting the reader know he can also understand a reason not negative to the boy, but rather a positive for the team.

 

I asked the kid he says "I dunno".

 

He lets everyone know he asked the boy, but the boy didn’t know why he was taken out of the defense.

 

There was absolutely nothing anywhere I could find where 2016 wrote anything disrespectful of the coach or the program. Even when he posited something negative, it wasn’t about the coach.

 

Personally, I hope 2016 sticks around. Sometimes it takes newbies to a forum where all communication is done via the written word, quite a while to be accepted. Its not just  on this site, but anytime they’re entering a situation where they aren’t known, but more importantly what their writing “style” is.

On his behalf, in case he's bailed, THANK YOU, S4G! That's how I interpreted it. Maybe some of us are rookie posters, but we're not necessarily rookie readers I think this guy was just looking for experience-guided-by-wisdom. Hope he got it.

 

I must of missed this thread entirely.Rehab and PT for my surgery ten weeks ago has me jumping busy.

 

When I first came on here almost nine years ago there were (still are some) many,many old timers and just people with so much experience and knowledge.I soaked it in and loved this site.

 

Not in this thread particularly,but in general the site has changed.People are way to thin skinned about what people say.I have gotten in a mood or two over the years too.

 

I think for the old times,TPM,Coach May,CD,Thrit,Justbaseball,infielddad,FF,and many others that I am forgetting and many who have moved on,we are on the other side of it now.

 

When we read posts from new parents that do seem worried about everything,we just want to say RELAX

 

HS ball was so much fun for us.It goes by so fast.ENJOY

 

In most cases(I know there are cruel exceptions) the best players play.As parents its hard to understand our sons may or may not be part of the best .

 

Your sons will learn great things about himself fighting to be one of the best,succeeding in that and sometimes failing in that.Both sides teach much.

 

Coach May is right when he said : your boys will be playing against men if you dont let them stuggle and succeed.

  Baseball gets in our blood and boy it can wreck havoc on our lives when as parents we let ourselves (and we all have done it) get personally involved to the point of not being objective.

 

One day soon you will have no control what happens to your son in the game.Tpm and several of us are there.Its not easy,injuries,being cut,the dream ending ,the battle on and off the field.

 

We look back and think OH just enjoy the game,enjoy the whole team,embrace the experience.I am so glad HS ball was a blast for our family.I cherish that always.

 

I think we have lost many old timers,they have moved on, we have great posters like Coach May who now post less,as many old timers.

Parents get so upset when someone says something they dont want to hear.

The OT want to help you through the journey and share in the successes and failures.At the same time we see things maybe you dont see yet,take that information,process what you like and maybe not get so offended.

 

This is a great site with great people.TPM is a straight shooter,but she knows what the journey is like,her son has been through it and still going through it.

 

We can disagree and have thought provocking exchange.No reason for personal attacks in any form.

 

The game will end for our boys one day,some sooner than others.Look at what the game has given your son.heck when I came on here I was looking for advice as to how to make the HS baseball team.We had no dream of college ball or beyond at that time.I guess I am glad looking back.It made the HS journey just fun and uncomplicated.

 

I missed my sons entire first year in rookie ball,didnt see one at bat couldnt afford to go.Hoping he makes a team this year so we can go watch him play and enjoy the game.

 

Also as a sidenote DH is a coveted position as you move up the ranks.Any game time at all is cherished.Guys making lots of money at DH.Usually the better hitters are in that spot.

 

My son shared DH and LF with a young man who will probably be drafted in the first round this draft,in summer ball for the Newport Gulls.He didnt mind.

Thanks Stats (and others I've thanked). I'm still here, have been for years in reader mode. 

I'll apologize for my attempt at sarcasm in the OP. I tried to word it as if I was just making small talk with another dad while sitting watching a game. It was most definitely tongue -in-cheek. If it had a boastful tone it was completely inadvertent. I never played baseball and know you guys here, as well as my son know more than I ever will. As much as I think I've learned my son is always pointing out elements of the game I don't see. The signs, (the missed signs) the strategy, all those things not apparent to casual watchers. 

 

To update, he DH'd on Saturday and with no input from me volunteered to tell me after the game "Coach says I'm DH so he can give more kids a 'start'". That's fine with me.

This is a really interesting thread to me.

 

On one hand, I am still relatively youthful in comparison to some other "old timers" here (no offense guys...). On the other hand, I've been here since '05 and I've been through a good amount in this game. I see both angles- the curious, loving, slightly stressed father of a teenager entering his first foray into high school baseball. I also see the old timers here who have "been there done that" per se, who scoff at the overzealousness and helicoptering that we see of some parents today.

 

Firstly, I didn't see anything particularly wrong with the OP. As Stats noted, it was an honest question. Without addressing any other post in response to the OP, I will address the OP directly. My advice would be to take a third-person approach to the situation. I'm sure that your son truly appreciates the support and passion you show by attending his games and watching intuitively and with focus. However, there is no indication that your son feels the same way about the situation that you feel. Teenagers are funny animals and often times don't view scenarios in the same light as adults- right, wrong or indifferent. Since it is his playing time and his playing experience, it should be only him who dictates a reaction.

 

If and when your son does elicit some sort of response to a particular situation, then my advice would be to play somewhat of an optimistic Devil's advocate. When emotions come into play in certain circumstances- whether that circumstance is positive or negative- it becomes difficult for an individual to view the circumstance objective. This difficulty is magnified tenfold in teenagers. It is important to show continued support for your son, and try to get him to understand that perhaps there is a "bigger picture" than what he is seeing at that present moment.

 

Now, to address the back-and-forth posts that ensued. Without trying to avoid sounding like a broken record, I am going to echo the sentiment of the "old timers" here: Relax. Relax. Relax. I've been far guiltier of not relaxing than the majority of you here. Baseball is a game. Baseball is a fun game. Baseball is a fun game that creates friendships, and work ethic, and memories. A failure to live in the present negates the opportunity to create those things...especially the memories.

 

Is it bad to care about your son's well-being on the field? Of course not. Is it bad to *sometimes* question a coach's decision making? I don't think so...privately, at least. Is it bad to be supportive and want the best for your child? Definitely not. 

 

High school baseball is the last true "pure" form of amateur baseball that exists in today's baseball world. Old timers here will understand what I'm saying...and if someone here doesn't, that's the beauty of this website. It is available to help people learn, to gain experience, to progress.

 

Enjoy everything while you can. It's a wonderful time.

 

2016- Thanks for sharing with us, and please feel free to continue to contribute here.