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justbaseball started a wonderful thread entitled "Experience spring training as a parent" a few days ago over in the Going Pro forum, and I thought this thread would be an equally fitting one for this website as well.

 

Often I find newcomers searching for information here, many of whom are in the same innocent positions that almost all of our old timers were once in. The vast archives on this site are so overwhelmingly large that it is often difficult to navigate through and find the exact information you want. Other times, much of the information is less case specific and more emotionally driven.

 

My hope is that some old timers will be willing to chime into this thread here and provide some valuable, real life feedback for those that may be here searching for information precisely pertaining to what this thread is geared towards.

 

Fire away, ladies and gentlemen!

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JH - Great thought for a thread starter.  There has been something that I've wanted to share, but I haven't found the right context to share it.  Injuries & rehab are possibly one of the most important things to understand as a parent if your son is headed to college to play baseball.  As a parent, you need to know when to step in, and need to know whom to talk to.

 

Injuries are part of the game.  There is a big difference between niggly injuries and major injuries.   Enter the training staff.  It is so important to have a competent training staff to identify and deal with physical issues. 

 

If your son is being recruited or will be a freshmen next year, go out of your way to introduce yourself to the training and medical staff.   Get to know them and get their phone numbers and emails.   In all likelihood, you will be talking to them much more often than the coaching staff.  I speak to the coaches when I'm spoken to.   But in the case of your son's physical health it is imperitive that you be proactive, communicate when needed, and know the staff and their recommend Doctors.  We recently had to go through some niggley physical issues (no surgery...thank you very much) that my son is rehabbing from.  He's fine, and he will be on the bump soon.   The trainer and I were talking every other day, and we got our local Doctor in the loop too to discuss previous MRIs, etc....  So, as a college baseball parent please get to know your son's training & medical staff, and how they operate.  It is very important.

Good point Fenway.  My son is just going through a shoulder issue.  He's a freshman college pitcher.  Often times, I had, and I'm sure others have wondered what happens when a player gets injured.  Here's what happened with us.  Son saw the trainers on the team first.  They told him what they thought it was.  Then they took him to a doctor at the clinic on the school campus.  He told son what he thought it was, but referred him to the off campus school orthopedist.  I looked into him and he is very good.  Well, the trainer and 1st doctor gave us news that was not very encouraging.  Orthopedic doctor's new was much more encouragaing.  My son didn't really understand what he said it was, but basically said that he didn't think it was that serious.  To get a better answer, I emailed the trainer and he explained exactly what the doctor said it was.  I didn't do what fenway suggested at the beginning, but I found the trainers email address on the website and contacted him that way.  It's been a little over a week and son's shoulder is getting better already, but the trainer seemed more than happy to let me know what was going on.

 

Another thing that was not a huge surprise to me, but my wife is shocked by every time we go to a game is the coaches interactions with the parents.  Basically, there is none.  When they recruited our son, they were very friendly and out going.  My wife loved that.  Since he's been at the school, we're lucky if we get a quick nod from any of them.  Parents are a total non issue.  I don't take it personally, I'm just guessing that they have seen so many kids come and go, there is no point in parent involvement.  Maybe it will change as son is there longer, but I kind of doubt it.  We just go to the games to support the team and our son and appreciate the heck out of the fact that he still gets to play.

Remembering our older son's first game as a freshman at Stanford.

 

Sunny day, nice crowd.  Me sitting with my shades on and my Stanford t-shirt and cap.  Enjoyed watching the new team introduced to the crowd...standing on the 1B line.  Yup...'Thats my boy! #19!' 

 

Life was good.  Dream school.  Friends all around.  Yup, life was good.

 

1st inning...sittin' there smiling and laughing with family and friends.  Thinkin' how great this is...starting pitcher walks the 1st batter.  Then the 2nd.  Then the 3rd.  Bases loaded, no outs.

 

I peek over at the dugout and the head coach (we call him "9") calls my son over.

 

Uh oh! 

 

Shakes his head, sprints to the bullpen. 

 

Visit to the mound by pitching coach.  You know, the sllllooooowwwww walk give-that-guy-in-the-pen-time visit.  19  (my boy) gettin' fired up in the bullpen...by end of visit, he's going full tilt.

 

My hair is now in fire! 

 

We are talkin' ZERO-to-EIGHTY in 0.1 seconds.  Heart pumpin out the chest.

 

He!! yeah I wanted him to pitch at THIS school on THIS day.  BUT NOT NOW!  NO-No-no-no-no!  NOT NOW!  Not this quick.  And not in THIS situation. 

 

Now I am rootin' my a$$ off for that starting pitcher.  Come on baby!  Lets get two! 

 

Next batter rolls over into a double play.   And the next guy is retired as well. 

 

Son returns to dugout.  I calm down.  We go on to win the game.

 

He had his debut the next day pitching a 1-2-3 9th with 2 or 3 run lead...much more "ok" for me.  But I never anticipated being scared nearly to death (myself) with that first almost outing. 

Me and Mom04 were in the stands (at the top of the bleachers) for game 3 (Sunday) of son's freshman season. He got the start on the mound after very solid fall and winter scrimmage season.

 

This was the real thing though, not his buddies he had been schooling for 4 months............04 four takes his warm ups and promptly walks the first batter, missing the plate way outside with 4 pitches.....Catcher goes to the mound, goes back to the plate and 04 walks the next guy on 5 pitches. 

 

The HC pops out of the dugout with his hands in his back pockets and strolls to the mound for a chat.

 

O4 gets a grounder for a double play, but gives up another walk and a double before getting out of that inning. He goes on give up 4 runs in 2 2/3.

 

04's next chance to redeem himself was not until three weeks later at the U. Hawaii Aloha Tourney. He gets the start and promptly walks the first two batters. Out of the dugout pops Mr. Head Coach again, followed closely by the back-up catcher and two pitchers, sprinting to the bullpen.

 

Mr. Head Coach gathers the infield around his pitiful freshman starter. "Son. do you see those players sprinting to the bullpen to save your a$$?. You will either start trusting your stuff right here and right now, or else you will spend the rest of the season sitting next to me on the bench where I will teach you the finer points of the game ONE ON EFFING ONE! Do you understand me?"


Everybody returns to their positions and son throws 8 innings, giving up two runs and is named to the All-Tournament team. True story.

 

Being a pitcher's parent is scary and there is little you can do, but be supportive.


 

Last edited by Dad04

Wife and I went up for the weekend not knowing if we would see our son pitch at a preseason DII tournament. Seeing you son in a collegiate uniform and on the field still gives me goose bumps. I cannot express the feeling that I had, for most of you parents you truly understand that feeling and knowing what a great accomplishment this is.

 

In any event the team was up 7 to 9 and it was the top of eight. My son's room mate was on the mound and I noticed my son and the ctacher were in the bullpen doing a light warm up. After the second walk I noticed another player dashing to the bullpen and letting my son know to get hot. Well the normal stalls of catcher and coaches visits were in progress with the big stall and a warning from the umpire. Then the final walk and now the bases were loaded. My heart stopped when I saw the head coach walk onto the field and signal for my son to make that dash to the bump.

 

Holy &^%$ really bases loaded , no outs and the guy coming to the plate was 3 for 3 two doubles and a triple. The head coach handed him the ball and said.

 

"Son I am sorry but I am putting you in the worst spot possible for any pitcher, especially since this is your first time on the mound in college, GOOD LUCK" and off he went.

 

First Pitch "Strike" Oh yeah this is good.

Second pitch "Ball" just off the corner. Ok I am good. Palms sweating, heart racing and thats just me.

Third pitch "Strike" Slider and the guy looked silly swinging

Fourth pitch "No, No, No. Over the left field fence- Grand Slam

 

Oh Man, why my kid, man he was pissed. Just then I saw the Junior and senior middle infiled with the senior catcher walk to the mound and pick him up. I have no idea what they said nor do I want to know, but the next 3 batters were all sat down with nothing but strikes, A curve ball that bit, a slider that moved like I have never seen it and a fast ball that had Giddy up like I never though he could throw.

 

As they ran back to the dug out the Left fielder, who is all conference did a dash to catch up with our son and then walked into the dug out showing nothing but positive support.

 

Well it was one of those nights that I as a dad will never forget, but on that mound a 19 year old young man grew up. He gained the support and friendship of his team mates. Oh it affected him I had to go to his dorm room and beg him to come to dinner with his mother and I , his Aunt an one set of grandparents. Nothing was spoken about baseball at dinner, (What can you say) but the positive reforcement, from phone calls and texts from his teammamtes and coaches made it great. What a great group of guys.

 

The very next day they put him right back on the horse that threw him and he struck out the side on nine pitches. God bless the coaches for having the belief that he can do it.

 

To many parents who are just starting this journey these kids will figure it out. And to all of them it will not only have failures and accomplishments but it will make them better people, better business persons, better friends and teammates but most of all someday better parents. This entire experience has been just awesome and we are very humble for all of this God has given us a great gift. Now its time to get the next one into the scene.

My post on this topic would be too long. So maybe I will just post one thought at a time.

My sons room mate is also a sr. He came to lander the same year my son did as a JUCO AA from Kansas. Great young man from a wonderful family. He redshirted last year with TJ and found himself playing very little this year. All three outfielders have simply been rakeing all season and its tough to sit guys like that.

I pulled up at my sons house Friday around 1 PM to see that Adams dad had came for the week end. My first thoughts were "Man that's awesome all the way from Kansas and his son might not see the field." Adam had no idea his Dad was coming but sure was glad to see him.

No PT Friday night. Saturday a DH and in the second game Adam gets his first start of the year. I couldn't help but find his Dad and look to see his reaction. Big smile on his face. Later in the game down by a run Adam comes to the plate and delivers a big hit. The smile on his Dads face was priceless. Worth my trip I can tell you that.

There are many parents of players who wait for that one shot. That one at bat. That one inning. It's special. It's a family thing that many will never truly experience or understand.
Originally Posted by seventhinningstretch:

Wife and I went up for the weekend not knowing if we would see our son pitch at a preseason DII tournament. Seeing you son in a collegiate uniform and on the field still gives me goose bumps. I cannot express the feeling that I had, for most of you parents you truly understand that feeling and knowing what a great accomplishment this is.

 

 This entire experience has been just awesome and we are very humble for all of this God has given us a great gift.

Agree 100%!

 

Went to see our son play a few weeks ago.  He's a freshman at a DII JUCO, but has pretty much earned the DH spot for now.

 

Game 1 of a doubleheader, team is down by one in the 8th.  Son gets up to bat with two outs, runner on 2nd.  Previous batter (now on 2nd) had just driven in a run on a well hit double.  I forget the count, but son hits a hard chopper up the middle. Second baseman tries to "Jeter" it but the throw is not in time and the run scores. Son is pumped knowing he drove in the tying run.  Team would win in the 9th with a walk off single.  (and better yet, wife caught the play on video so we get to relive it....ha ha)

 

I just think it's great to see him dressed out in a college uniform whether he plays or not.  We come to root for the team.  If he plays, it's just gravy on the turkey..

 

And then he calls Friday to let me know he hit his first college HR (a 3 run shot)...life is good.....

"Experiencing College Baseball as a parent"

 

Every year our parents, team, sponsors, fans get together for the first conference home stand for a well catered and stocked bar event at the schools hotel.  The upperclassmen parents foot the bill and it is worth it.   This past weekend was "that weekend", and it is a great event and tradition to see everybody.   For me, it is a chance to talk to the players and parents away from the ball field.  My favorite part is listening to the freshmen players introduce themselves and talk about themselves in front of a large crowd.   

Originally Posted by Dad04:

Being a pitcher's parent is scary and there is little you can do, but be supportive. 

Ah, yes. The fear and trepidation faced by the college pitcher's parent; a memory that will probably never dim!

 

Interesting to see how some face it. On our team, we had pitchers' parents who (1) kept their noses buried in the meticulous scorebooks they kept, (2) a few who high-tailed it to a secret location where they could barely see their son and could barely be seen by others when son took the mound, (3) some who sat right behind home plate as close to the scouts as possible; or (4) ones like me, who stood as far down the right field line as possible; regardless of whether my son was pitching or not.

 

Why down the line? Well, in my case, it seemed to get me out of easy reach and earshot of those I might not want to find distracting me during the game. I'm one of those guys who hung on both teams' every pitch and didn't want to be unduly prevented from paying attention.

 

Meanwhile, I had numerous friends who'd find their way down to chat. Some, mainly those who also wanted to really watch the game, might hang around for its entirety. Others might just stick around for a few minutes; knowing that full-time watching was de rigeur  in that location. Regardless, they were always welcome; and I've got many fond memories of the conversations held down the line during games.


Our little group would stand the entire game, peering over the 5 foot fence. We loved talking situational baseball and giving the first base umpire occasional "advice." Over the years, a few of those umpires became pretty good game-day friends and would laugh at our "advice" and "constructive criticism."


Finishing with the fear part: like Dad04 and many pitchers' moms and dads, I never found a remedy for it. It just sort of came with the territory.


However, I did remind myself fairly frequently that when my son was on the mound, he was on the one place on Earth he most wanted to be; regardless of how his pitching day was going. Like most pitchers, he was always happiest when the ball was in his hand.


That might not have fully cured my fear and trepidation entirely; but, I did take a fair amount of comfort in it. After all, what parent wouldn't want his son or daughter doing that which he most wanted to do; whether on a baseball diamond or not?


All the best to those of you who currently have...and will have... college-age players!

Last edited by Prepster

We have been very fortunate to live in the city where my son attends school, and this has brought many wonderful experiences, and also to monitor and intervene with injuries.

 

DII teams play many double headers, and all of our conference series has one double header associated with it, so these teams find themselves using 2 catchers pretty routinely to carry the load.  Looking back over 17’s college experience, each year was a different combination at the catcher position.  So with each year I will reflect a bit on the season experience.

 

FRESHMAN 2010: As any freshman parent and player can attest to, we were so excited this year.  Both catchers that carried most of the load in 2009 were no longer there, and the position was wide open for competition.  17 got his opportunity to show what he could offer early in pre-conference play, getting 12 starts and doing fairly well.  Adjusting to the hitting at this level was the toughest part.   He experienced a mild concussion from a foul ball to the mask, and this set him back for about 3 weeks.   The training staff did a great job monitoring the concussion and it was a slow return.

 

So when they entered conference play in the Sunshine SLIDER Conference, 17 was relegated to what wife and I affectionately called the “Sandwich Inning Catcher”.  The sandwich inning catcher is that heralded position of catcher for that last inning of the first Saturday game, when the starting catcher is eating his sub sandwich.  17 got 38 AB’s that freshman year, and it was good foundation watching and learning.  He got to watch a future 14th round White Sox draftee play through the grueling heat and grind of 24 innings in 24 hours, which was in 17’s future.

 

SOPHOMORE 2011: 17 was slated to catch 2 out of 3 games on the weekend this season, except for the “flu experience” period.  The flu experience period began on a Friday in preconference play.   17 came down with severe flu and the other catcher had the series of the year.  A 10 for 14 (.714) type of series, so 17 patiently took the 1 out of 3 games slot until he earned his spot back a few weeks later.  The relationship 17 had with this senior catcher was awesome, as well as our relationship with his parents. We looked forward to each series and both sets of parents supported each other’s kid.  17 sprained his ankle in the final contest and the other catcher played the last innings of his college career then.  This fine Student-Athlete went on to be drafted and signed with the Rays that season.

 

JUNIOR 2012: The year of the lower back pain. 17 hurt his lower back lifting pre-season and was out the first 10 games.  We intervened and got him to a specialist who did all the rehab and worked really close with the college trainer.  It helps that his doctor was a former athlete and took a proactive approach with the trainer.  When he got back on the field he shared time with the other catcher, but really never got back in a hitting groove, finishing with a .238 average in 80 AB’s.   17 was very happy to have had a great summer wood bat experience to raise his confidence and get back to normal.

 

SENIOR 2012: We are in this as I type, but there is this thing called Karma….

 

I can say that being close to the school, and having 17 live at home has allowed us to be very intimate with his college experience.  17 is very mature now and going away for the summer to play has been great for his “alone” time.  He is a great cook/baker, knows how to fish and do laundry, and he recently asked his high school sweetheart the big question and is engaged to be married a year from this December.  He will graduate on time Cum Laude with a Business Management degree in May, so yes he and we as parents can say “baseball has been very good to me.” 

 

Great thread...Freshman son is a redshirt, so  little bit of the pressure was off us "player parents" for one season at least...but I read some REALLY good advice in a tweet over the weekend...this may be an old saying, but I had never heard it before...

 

"Player parents should NOT read fan forums. If they read them, they should NOT post in them. If they post in them, they should not make comments about the coaching staff."

 

Seems this happend recently with another big state school (not ours) and the "fandom" on the board either knew or figured out who it was and a carnival ensued...

Web Dad.....enjoy it...they have been a fun bunch to watch!!!!
 
 
Originally Posted by web's dad:

My expereice is a little different. Web is 3000 miles away so I'm learning the ins and outs of internet broadcasts and Gametracker.

 

That being said, GU is making an extremely rare trip to NorCal for a 3 game series at St. Mary's College. I will finally get to see my son play!

 

Dad04.....got a good laugh from this "Being a pitcher's parent is scary and there is little you can do, but be supportive."

 

How true...how true.....it is like a great rollercoaster ride with the all thrills and scares....and once you get on the ride there is nothing you can do until the rides is over....

 

 
Originally Posted by Dad04:

Me and Mom04 were in the stands (at the top of the bleachers) for game 3 (Sunday) of son's freshman season. He got the start on the mound after very solid fall and winter scrimmage season.

 

This was the real thing though, not his buddies he had been schooling for 4 months............04 four takes his warm ups and promptly walks the first batter, missing the plate way outside with 4 pitches.....Catcher goes to the mound, goes back to the plate and 04 walks the next guy on 5 pitches. 

 

The HC pops out of the dugout with his hands in his back pockets and strolls to the mound for a chat.

 

O4 gets a grounder for a double play, but gives up another walk and a double before getting out of that inning. He goes on give up 4 runs in 2 2/3.

 

04's next chance to redeem himself was not until three weeks later at the U. Hawaii Aloha Tourney. He gets the start and promptly walks the first two batters. Out of the dugout pops Mr. Head Coach again, followed closely by the back-up catcher and two pitchers, sprinting to the bullpen.

 

Mr. Head Coach gathers the infield around his pitiful freshman starter. "Son. do you see those players sprinting to the bullpen to save your a$$?. You will either start trusting your stuff right here and right now, or else you will spend the rest of the season sitting next to me on the bench where I will teach you the finer points of the game ONE ON EFFING ONE! Do you understand me?"


Everybody returns to their positions and son throws 8 innings, giving up two runs and is named to the All-Tournament team. True story.

 

Being a pitcher's parent is scary and there is little you can do, but be supportive.


 

 

Man, a roller coaster ride is right!!!  Being the parent of a freshman pitcher is full of uncertainty, fear, joy, pride and a helpless feeling when things don't go great.  You go to a game hoping to see your son pitch, but scared to death that he does well.  It has been a crazy year, but I wouldn't change it for anything!!!

Great thread. As a HS senior's parent, this is very helpful!

 

As a catcher's parent, I sometimes envy the days off the pitchers' parents get!

 

I'm sure an infielder's parent might say they envy the parents whose kids get more than a couple of chances to shine (or not) in a game. 

 

Honestly, I love having a catcher for a son, because there's always something to watch him do - framing, calling pitches, making throws, tags at home, catching pop ups, running down the first baseline, fielding bunts, counseling pitchers. And then there's batting on top of it all. I'm so glad he decided to catch. Never a dull moment!

Originally Posted by bballman:

Man, a roller coaster ride is right!!!  Being the parent of a freshman pitcher is full of uncertainty, fear, joy, pride and a helpless feeling when things don't go great.  You go to a game hoping to see your son pitch, but scared to death that he does well.  It has been a crazy year, but I wouldn't change it for anything!!!

Being a pitcher's parent definitely does make one feel alive.....

Originally Posted by scdigger:

"Player parents should NOT read fan forums. If they read them, they should NOT post in them. If they post in them, they should not make comments about the coaching staff."

Good advice, indeed.

 

A couple of years ago, I saw a dad come on a major program's baseball message board, introduce himself as the father of a recently-committed recruit, and begin to write very boastfully about the program, generally, and his son, specifically. He made it clear from the outset that his son was going to put this already accomplished program on his back and lead them to a national championship. He also regaled everyone with his "expert" knowledge of everything related to high school travel ball and college recruiting.

 

As it turned out, his son bombed out during his Freshman year; creating a pretty awkward situation for the player's father and other contributors to the message board. There's more than one reason why parents of young college players often hear the suggestion that it's better to be seen than to be heard.

 

Good stuff (as usual) Prepster.

 

When our older son was at Stanford, some of the parents were on the message board.  It was easy to figure out.

 

One parent in particular, of a player who played some, but not full time...kept posting over about 2 years...about why they should be playing a certain player more.  (That player was his son).  He would cite stats and all kinds of stuff..and throw in another player or two to try and camouflage his intent...but everyone knew.

 

Including the players!  We'd be out to dinner with several after games...and it was the butt of their jokes.  Happily, they didn't take it out on the son...they seemed to feel bad for him, and truthfully, I did too.

 

Even with this year's Stanford team...a team that I only know a couple of kids and their parents...there is at least one on that board.  Pimping his kid.  Again, everyone seems to know...and it is embarrassing.

 

Don't do it!

Originally Posted by justbaseball:

Including the players!  We'd be out to dinner with several after games...and it was the butt of their jokes.  Happily, they didn't take it out on the son...they seemed to feel bad for him, and truthfully, I did too..

 As I remind my kids from time to time when I embarrass them at the mall, family parties, or the gym, "you don't get to choose your parents".

 

Some things we knew but also have "learned" since our child has gone to play college softball:

 

  • If coach wants to talk to us, he'll stroll over and start the converstation.  Otherwise, be quiet.
  • If you child is in any position on that field, they will also occupy a spot in that doghouse at some point.
  • No matter how much I'd like to step in and mention a "tip" to my child about hitting, I keep my mouth shut.  Others have not learned that and so, their children do not have to worry about ABs now.
  • When you get that first phone call, as tough as it is, you have to let them stand on their own with coaches and teammates. 
  • No one cares if your child has gone 0fer for the day.  So, don't mention it.  However, you'll be inundated with comments from the parents of those players who had great days.  Per my wife and I, we have decided to nod, say positive things and get out of dodge.
  • Great advice on knowing the trainer.  Even though you might not make contact with them per a specific injury to your child, it is good to put a face with a name and at least know the person you are trusting your child's health to.
  • I don't know how many of you have had to do this, but be prepared to make a "laundry run" or two while your child is playing ball.  My dd lives close and so, it isn't as hard for us but a friend of mine just made a run to Iowa to do the laundry for his child.  My child will play 5 DHs coming up and will have 4 tests in that time.  There is absolutely no time for her to do any other thing including laundry.
  • Beware of the caustic parents.  Naturally, there will be parents who's children do not see the field.  As was said on Lost in Space, "Danger Will Robinson, Danger Danger."  Believe me, coach knows who is caustic and will look into the stands once in a while to see who is catching whom's ear.

Well, these are just a few observations.  My daughter is a sophomore now and is battling the best she can.  As parents, we have learned so much as well.  Should you ever see us at a game, my wife and I will be the older couple sitting in the chair that hardly ever says a word. 

 

Take care,

Quote by CoachB:

 

If your child is in any position in that field, they will also occupy a spot in that doghouse at some point.

 I agree!!!!!

 

College baseball was the best!  There were tough games as well as good games and I remember most of it like it was yesterday. 

 

Be aware that recruitment is very different  after your son becomes a member of the team, however we found that the coaches always welcomed us either when we came to Clemson or met up with them on the road.

 

And yes, DK often found himself in the doghouse!  Thank you Kevin O'Sullivan!

 

bballman I hope that your son is ok!

Originally Posted by bballman:
He is. Thanks for asking coach. Got a scare, but turned out his shoulder just tightened up, basically. Did some PT and got the go ahead to start throwing again yesterday. He said it feels really good.

I am a mom, I never coached, but thanks for the compliment!

 

Maybe you didn't notice my girlie bb keds!

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