First time ever

It was 3 in the morning on the right coast. A weekend of baseball for many and MLB opening day game last night. Maybe every one was sleeping. I never paid that much attention to who was logged on when.

Perhaps there is an exodus from the troubles of the weekend. Maybe the server was rebooted and all those who keep their computers logged on all night were forced off.

I think we are working through the disagreements. I don't think they are too serious. I suppose these things happen from time to time; sort of a growing pain or re-leveling of the playing field. I have no ill feelings about the weekend's discussions. I don't think too many others will, either.

That's 2 AM here... gotta sleep sometime! But I'm here now - where are you?!?

I will say that I often stop by and read posts without logging in. I log in if I want to reply to a post or check my PM box.

Some of that other stuff gets nutty - it seems there's a lot of history with some posters and figuring it all out is like sorting out a messy family tree. But that's not unique to this board - seems to happen every where online.

And yes, in general, here and in real life, I think we all need to just cut each other some slack. I think we'll all live longer that way!

Some confrontation is a little entertaining. Being a moderator is a hard job and they do a good job. It is hard to know where to draw the line. On the one hand we all want everybody to be reasonable and polite. That can be boring and lose people's interest.

Most moderators closings are justified. Sometimes however, threads are being closed because of thin skinned moderators. That is going to happen. I think we have to be very careful not to be too PC and cater to the thin skinned who are offended by any and all disagreement that gets a little bit heated.

Frankly, I don't post as much any more because it gets a little tedious trying to frame every post in such a way that doesn't offend anybody. I am very busy and don't have time to double my post size just to word everything PC.

Sometimes a short curt response, though not really that bad, offends many that are very sensitive. Maybe we ought to do what Twitter does. Limit a post to 140 characters. That would make everyone here have many hundreds per day. lol

All the above being said. This is maybe the most civilized site on the internet.

On another note. I have to get a new phone with "REAL" internet pages. It is impossible for me to post here with AT&T internet. I am not home much any more. I need to find a phone to use that allows me to do that. But, that is another discussion.

I'm not sure how that can happen, as I have been logged on for about three days as my DSL and computer is always on. Someone with more IT savvy than I could tell us how that happens.

Many websites have "mobile editions" at a connecting URL. Some even automatically detect that you are mobile and do it automatically. I am sure it is costly though. Just curious.

I don't understand the need some members have to personally attack others just for asking questions about their specific situations. I really don't. Maybe someone could explain it to me.

LHPMom

quote:

I don't understand the need some members have to personally attack others just for asking questions about their specific situations. I really don't. Maybe someone could explain it to me.

It simply means you struck a nerve.......

quote:

Originally posted by Tx-Husker:

quote:

I don't understand the need some members have to personally attack others just for asking questions about their specific situations. I really don't. Maybe someone could explain it to me.

It simply means you struck a nerve.......

With as many posters here who have been coaches, they've been there, done it when a situation is posted. From experience, they go into auto pilot on the response. In 99.9% of the cases, the responses are right on whether or not, some posters find them less than PC.

An area where a lot of youth coaches fail is teaching parents how to be the parents of baseball players. If more coaches were in charge at younger ages and taught parents protocol for situations there would be less issues when their kids hit the high school level.

Starting back in LL, I explained to parents what I can and can't be approached about along with how and when. When they overstepped the boundaries all I had to say was, "Not now" and they understood. Starting in 13U I established more responsibility for the player and less for the parent in terms of communication. All these 13U players are now in high school. I have complete confidence they would feel comfortable approaching their coach with an issue. I also feel comfortable the parents are unlikely to approach the coach rather than their kid.

Now I might as well dive all the way in. First I think it's great there are mothers on this board. It provides another perspective. But when mothers can't handle how things are said here is perfect example of why mothers should never go near a dugout. They may not like what they see or hear in there. And I don't mean just out of the coach's mouths. I've coached travel softball. The girl's are worse than the boys in the dugout.

My son's played for a paid coach since he was 10. His paid coaches handle things the exact same way good HS coaches do, so transition to HS has been simple. With the 10u, you could see some parents adapted well/easily to turning over control to the coach and some didn't. I can still remember the first time he took those 10 year olds out to centerfield to talk after the game so the parents couldn't hear....there were some unhappy control freak parents.

PS RJM...I've found there's also a direct relationship between the number of nerves struck and the number of paragraphs in the reply

quote:

Originally posted by LHPMom2012:
I don't understand the need some members have to personally attack others just for asking questions about their specific situations. I really don't. Maybe someone could explain it to me.

LHPMom

It's called getting the straight dope from peeps that have been there before. Nothing personal one would think.

quote:

Originally posted by LHPMom2012:
I don't understand the need some members have to personally attack others just for asking questions about their specific situations. I really don't. Maybe someone could explain it to me.

LHPMom

This in itself is what makes this such a challenging place - you call it an attack while others may see it as criticism while others see it as advice while others see it as help. Who is right here? Who is wrong? What is the criteria that makes it right / wrong? Who determines what the criteria for right / wrong?

The best piece of advice I ever got about criticism is - listen to the message and not how it's delivered. There is nothing with yelling at a kid but he's got to hear what you are saying rather than focusing on getting his feelings hurt. That is why coaches yell at players - to create a stimulus for change. If you do it all the time then it loses the effect to create that stimulus for change. Them getting yelled at isn't the worst thing to ever happen to them. They can handle it if parents would stop telling them how wrong the coach is for yelling at him in practice because he forgot to be the cutoff man for the 10th time in practice.

The same can be applied here - get what the message is being said by the person and let the rest go.

quote:

PS RJM...I've found there's also a direct relationship between the number of nerves struck and the number of paragraphs in the reply

Based on another thread I'm fairly sure a previous statement was based on that. My response is a descriptive attempt to provide an education.

I chuckled when you mentioned the post game talk without the parents. I started mine at 7/8 rec ball. I've never involved parents in a post game talk unless there was a need to tell them something collectively. From 7-10 I gave away baseball cards where the first player who could tell me something about the player got the card. Those were longer post game meetings. Starting at 11/12's through 16U travel the talks were about a minute long in the dugout unless something was wrong.

Starting in 13U told players I wanted their email addresses, not their parents. I wanted the kids to learn responsibility and accountability. I didn't care if the kids forwarded the emails to the parents. Parents only got direct emails regarding road trips and fundraising. The only official meeting with the parents was explaining team rules on player, coach and parental behavior.

In all the time I played ball from LL through college I don't ever remember parents being part of the team conversation.

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In all the time I played ball from LL through college I don't ever remember parents being part of the team conversation.

I think that's the rule I've observed with the paid coach situation. But in the daddy ball situations (which are more the norm in the pre-HS years), in the parks I've hung around in and observed most parents ARE hanging around listening in on the coach's talk.

We've always had the "what did coach tell you after the game" talk on the ride home. And that's the spot where messages are driven home. The parent can either say "maybe this is what the coach was trying to tell you, maybe this was the lesson, maybe we should work on that", or the parent can say "stupid comment, coach doesn't know what he talking about, etc". And, the kid remembers that negative reinforcement of what he's feeling at that point for a LONG time.