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Hi all,

 

 

I have been reading some of this posts on this board and was hoping for some helpful feedback. My son is 14 and a freshman. He is playing mostly jv and a little varsity. He had high hopes of playing varsity and is now struggling mentally. He feels torn between his worries of which team he will be playing on, the kids on jv who don't seem to care and his perception of how the varsity coach feels about him. He is not playing to his own expectations and feels like the game is not as much fun as it used to be. He is doing very well as far as I am concerned, hitting around 380 and doing pretty well at 2nd base. Any thoughts or ideas for how to help him would be appreciated. I have told him to set goals and to also be a leader and talk to the jv team and tell them how he feels.

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Welcome to the site and what I'm about to say may come across as harsh but please understand that's not my intention.  You're son is a freshman and doing really well splitting time between JV and varsity.  While it's good to WANT to be on varsity as a freshman he needs to grow up a little bit and appreciate where he is right now which is better off than a lot of freshmen.  He needs to stop worrying about which team he will play on - just perform when he's in a game.  Hustle, have a great attitude, listen, lead, be positive and perform then things take care of themselves.  This is a young kid facing disappointment because he wanted to be varsity but didn't make it all the way.  He needs to get over that and appreciate what good things he has.

My kid's in a similar situation. Here in CA he can play only JV or V during league. Coach wants him on V, where he doesn't get much playing time.  I think he should be on JV, but nobody asked for my opinion, so I'm keeping it to myself, which is important.   My son has bought into the situation and feels good about his role because a) his V team is doing very well and it's great to be a part of that.  b) he's got a good summer team situation lined up and knows he'll get lots of PT then.  c) he's enjoying and learning from the leadership shown by the team's seniors.  d) he's enjoying and doing well in practice.

 

 

Originally Posted by JCG:

My kid's in a similar situation. Here in CA he can play only JV or V during league. Coach wants him on V, where he doesn't get much playing time.  I think he should be on JV, but nobody asked for my opinion, so I'm keeping it to myself, which is important.   My son has bought into the situation and feels good about his role because a) his V team is doing very well and it's great to be a part of that.  b) he's got a good summer team situation lined up and knows he'll get lots of PT then.  c) he's enjoying and learning from the leadership shown by the team's seniors.  d) he's enjoying and doing well in practice.

 

 

This is a great post.  It's OK to be bummed out that you're not where you want to be but don't take it to the field.  JCG is probably right that his son is better off being on JV playing rather than sitting on the varsity bench but the son made a choice to get something positive out of it.  When it comes to HS you can't control what position or level you play but you do control how you handle it.

I agree with both posts as well, get some positives out of it.  Look at it this way, he had a goal of playing Varsity and got some varsity playing time.  In a way he accomplished his goal.

 

JCG, there is no rule in CA that states you can only play JV or Varsity during league.  There is only a rule that states you can not play JV and Varsity on the same day.  I have had underclassmen pitchers that I have carried with me on Wednesdays in order to try to get them Varsity innings and if they don't throw they went down to throw on JV on Friday.

Originally Posted by coach2709:

Welcome to the site and what I'm about to say may come across as harsh but please understand that's not my intention.  You're son is a freshman and doing really well splitting time between JV and varsity.  While it's good to WANT to be on varsity as a freshman he needs to grow up a little bit and appreciate where he is right now which is better off than a lot of freshmen.  He needs to stop worrying about which team he will play on - just perform when he's in a game.  Hustle, have a great attitude, listen, lead, be positive and perform then things take care of themselves.  This is a young kid facing disappointment because he wanted to be varsity but didn't make it all the way.  He needs to get over that and appreciate what good things he has.

Not harsh at all. I feel the same way. I agree he does need to grow some. He is used to things coming easy and this is a good wake up call. Thanks

Look, when I say this I want you to know I am not attempting to be disrespectful to you as a parent and how it makes you well with pride to see your 9th grader on Varsity.  First of all I will acknowledge that each league I have ever been a part of carries a rule pertaining to when you can and can not drop a kid down.  I have been in three different leagues and I have seen 2 different rules.  Rule 1 after the first round of league and Rule 2 prior to the last round of league.  Now when I initially type my first post I did so out of kindness.  I thought, "Maybe this guys kids is getting shafted and they are being told that this rule existed."  Now however since you want to bring up "accepted wisdom" and talk about "Cred" I have something else to say.  Lol, Accepted Wisdom.  I know absolutely not a coach in the world that has ever said that this accepted wisdom.  Nor as a coach are we worried about "Cred" on campus.  Furthermore, when I have questioned myself about leaving a Freshman up I have had coaches, including one that had pro ball experience continue to tell me to leave them down for the experience if they are not go to play all of the time.  Not sure who you're getting the "accepted wisdom" from but kind of like the fact that your rule doesn't exist not does your "accepted wisdom"

Your son has received some good advice and perspective here.

 

An additional thought:

If he continues to develop his game to the point that he's given an opportunity to play past high school, those future steps are going to be even steeper for him. Only a select few are chosen for those levels; the effect of which is to make competition for playing time even more challenging than he's currently experiencing.

 

For the large majority of players, taking that next step implies that they're going to be thrown into a competitive mix that slides them down near the bottom of the totem pole each time. Better to learn the reality of that now; along with the added wisdom that constant improvement of one's game is the only sure way to work one's way back up the pole.

Last edited by Prepster

Dospeloteros

 

My 2016 went all the way to last cuts for Varsity as a freshman, then went down to JV, asked to play a position he hadn't played since he was 10 (catcher) and spent the whole season playing every inning. He was definitely bummed out, and struggled mightily at plate at times, due to a number of factors. 

 

I have coached from 9U to 18U so all I could do was give him some advise...The only two things you control is your attitude and how hard you work. The rest falls into place. 

 

Long story short, he made varsity this year as a soph. Playing in about half the games so far, had a big game last weekend, got his name in article in paper. He is pumped. 

 

Good luck. 

 

 

My son a Soph plays both Varsity and JV (allowed here) but mainly JV, While im sure he would love to start on Varsity JV is actually working out better for him this year. He is destroying the pitching and really is playing his arse off. making things very tough for the varsity head coach as he is clearly outplaying the starter on varsity.

 

Maybe im not looking at the situation the correct way but im a believer in letting the seniors play ahead of younger kids, most of these guys have been playing their whole lives and this is it for the majority of them. My last HS game is a memory ill never forget, it was tough to say the least.

Originally Posted by Prepster:

Your son has received some good advice and perspective here.

 

An additional thought:

If he continues to develop his game to the point that he's given an opportunity to play past high school, those future steps are going to be even steeper for him. Only a select few are chosen for those levels; the effect of which is to make competition for playing time even more challenging than he's currently experiencing.

 

For the large majority of players, taking that next step implies that they're going to be thrown into a competitive mix that slides them down near the bottom of the totem pole each time. Better to learn the reality of that now; along with the added wisdom that constant improvement of one's game is the only sure way to work one's way back up the pole.

Well said. Thank you.

 

Tip of the cap to you and many thanks, Coach May.

 

Heading to Blacksburg this weekend. Probably the only opportunity this season.

 

InMit may join me up there on Saturday. Only thing that could make it better is if you could join him. Old times. If nothing else, we'll provide selective counsel to the umps! 

 

All the best to you and yours!

Last edited by Prepster
Originally Posted by Dospeloteros:

Hi all,

 

 

I have been reading some of this posts on this board and was hoping for some helpful feedback. My son is 14 and a freshman. He is playing mostly jv and a little varsity. He had high hopes of playing varsity and is now struggling mentally. He feels torn between his worries of which team he will be playing on, the kids on jv who don't seem to care and his perception of how the varsity coach feels about him. He is not playing to his own expectations and feels like the game is not as much fun as it used to be. He is doing very well as far as I am concerned, hitting around 380 and doing pretty well at 2nd base. Any thoughts or ideas for how to help him would be appreciated. I have told him to set goals and to also be a leader and talk to the jv team and tell them how he feels.

Dospeloteros,

 

Lots of great advice and wisdom from everyone ! I personally am not a big fan of freshman playing/sitting on a varsity baseball team.I suppose,if a freshman is already an early commit like those four 2017 players here in San Diego County are, then a coach must play them.I just don't see the point of a freshman getting a couple of AB's or innings and spending the rest of the season watching from the dugout.Makes no sense to me as far as development is concerned. I mean, sure the kid gets a varsity letter as a freshman, but that in and of itself has limited value.

 

I like to use Brady Aiken 2014 LHP as an example.He played JV as a freshman, and he's the best HS pitcher that my son has ever faced and the best that I've ever seen FWIW.

 

BTW,did your son enjoy playing in his first Lion's tournament ? There were some outstanding pitchers in the Classic Division this year.

 

Good luck to your son !

OK I have a question ... my son is on Var. as a Freshman and starts. One of the starting pitchers & infield, 3rd on the team in batting ave.

 

One of the assist coaches made a statement to him last week that he should step up and be the leader on the team.

 

How should he address this.Try to be A leader???

 

My freshman son was called up to the varsity Ice Hockey team a couple of games into the season.  He was a little nervous and wanted some advice on joining the team (it was straight to a game).

 

I told him to walk into the locker room, throw his bag in the middle of the floor, and announce "I John Doe, and I am here to bail your butts out".   He looked at me and said he wasn't going to do that.  Kid is smarter than I thought

 

I am not sure how a 15 yo Freshman could position himself to lead 18 yo Seniors.....

Originally Posted by What?:

OK I have a question ... my son is on Var. as a Freshman and starts. One of the starting pitchers & infield, 3rd on the team in batting ave.

 

One of the assist coaches made a statement to him last week that he should step up and be the leader on the team.

 

How should he address this.Try to be A leader???

 

We have a freshman on our V team this year.  He is a great leader.  He leads by hustling as much or more than anyone.  He leads by working harder than anyone else... by asking for extra reps before and after practices and on weekends.  He leads with respectful behavior to coaches and teammates.  He leads by staying positive and being an enthusiastic cheerleader when he is not in the game.  He leads by playing hard at all times.  He is a good player who is determined and confident but still humble.  He doesn't try to force his fit with the older group and go to all of the parties and gatherings.  None of this takes any special acceptance or social standing amongst the group to do.  It is really very impressive and others are beginning to follow his lead and respect him.  Hope this helps.

Originally Posted by cabbagedad:
Originally Posted by What?:

OK I have a question ... my son is on Var. as a Freshman and starts. One of the starting pitchers & infield, 3rd on the team in batting ave.

 

One of the assist coaches made a statement to him last week that he should step up and be the leader on the team.

 

How should he address this.Try to be A leader???

 

We have a freshman on our V team this year.  He is a great leader.  He leads by hustling as much or more than anyone.  He leads by working harder than anyone else... by asking for extra reps before and after practices and on weekends.  He leads with respectful behavior to coaches and teammates.  He leads by staying positive and being an enthusiastic cheerleader when he is not in the game.  He leads by playing hard at all times.  He is a good player who is determined and confident but still humble.  He doesn't try to force his fit with the older group and go to all of the parties and gatherings.  None of this takes any special acceptance or social standing amongst the group to do.  It is really very impressive and others are beginning to follow his lead and respect him.  Hope this helps.

What he said.

 

Leading isn't by talking or trying to "be" the motivator.  It's by doing things right.  Others will follow when they have a good example to follow.  Sadly, they will also follow if they have a bad example to follow.

My 2016 played varsity last year.Believe it or not there is a huge difference in a freshman and a senior.There was multiple times he felt like the freshman even tho he was contributing..Yes he did feel like the 3rd person on a date.But he hung in there and by seasons end was given the opportunity to pitch most important game of our season.Three days after the season was over the phone rang and a handful of next years seniors took him golfing.Sometimes things take time.Good relationships aren't built over nite.Hang in there.If your son has it in him and truly wants to be one of the team leader there is a 100% way of making that happen.Reread cabbagedads post.With time it works everytime.

Originally Posted by NDallasDad:

I don't see setting an example and being a team leader as always being the same.  I struggle to see how a Freshman would be a team leader in a 10 week HS season. Example yes, leader no.

 

I agree with working hard, doing your job, etc and earning the respect/trust of the upper class-men.

Then I wish you could see the kid I'm talking about.  Over the years, we've had a few other freshmen come up with us and have a similar impact on the temperament of the team as well.  Competitive enthusiasm, hard work and enthusiasm are infectious.  When others begin to follow their lead to any degree... well, that's leadership.  

Last edited by cabbagedad
Originally Posted by NDallasDad:

I don't see setting an example and being a team leader as always being the same.  I struggle to see how a Freshman would be a team leader in a 10 week HS season. Example yes, leader no.

 

I agree with working hard, doing your job, etc and earning the respect/trust of the upper class-men.

What if the freshman is the best player on the team? I know a kid who is starting SS and batting 3rd on his team. He's not only leading his team in BA and slugging %, he's leading the whole league. And this is a good team in a good league. I'm not around the team so I have no idea if he's regarded as a leader, but I'd guess that whether he is or not has nothing to do with what class he's in.

I think this comes down to a person's definition of leadership. I know several exemplary employees, students, athletes, etcs that I personally would not consider leaders of their Workplace, School, or Sport Team.

 

I think "setting an example" is a good quality for a team leader, but only one possible characteristic of a much larger leadership role. Being the best player on the team helps, but again is only one helpful characteristic.

I find it difficult for a freshman to be a leader due to 2, what I believe are facts.  1) No matter how good they are they look up to the older players.  2) At the end of the day the older players are going to "run the ship" because they have been there the longest and there is a natural progression.  Yes you can make them an example of what to do and how to play the game.  Right, wrong, or indifferent look and the difference Puig made to the Dodgers last year. 

Originally Posted by IEBSBL:

I find it difficult for a freshman to be a leader due to 2, what I believe are facts.  1) No matter how good they are they look up to the older players.  2) At the end of the day the older players are going to "run the ship" because they have been there the longest and there is a natural progression.  Yes you can make them an example of what to do and how to play the game.  Right, wrong, or indifferent look and the difference Puig made to the Dodgers last year. 

 

This is very true.  I've told my son to play hard, play right, and watch.  Watch the team captains.  See what you like and what you don't, then incorporate the best of it into you... down the road.

 

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