Girlfriends & baseball

Excuse me.

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she is all worked up that he won't talk to her

That'll take care of itself................

Pardon me, again.

I've been blessed in that ever since my boys were very young, I instilled the "No Girlfriends" during baseball season rule. My senior has attempted to have one, but he doesn't seem to have the patience for their "neediness". Jury's still out with the youngest (13).

As for your predicament...patience is a virtue. I'll pray for God's guidance to open your son's eyes...LOL. I agree with FO! He's raised two that at times have had girlfriends attached!

Baseball trumps testosterone. Doesn't it?

Unfortunately there is not much we as moms can say about girlfriends that the boys will listen to at the time - maybe later on down the road after the relationship is over they will see what we were talking about. Or at least that is my experience with my boys.

BUT - the good thing is- his teammates will probably get in his face about this girl - that is one thing that they cannot stand - a girlfriend that is interfering with baseball time. Sometimes also a good coach can see what is happening and give him a hard time about the girl.

Good luck to you - I feel for you!

As I always (jokingly) tell my players....

'Girls are EVIL!'

Sorry for the intrusion but --- If you look at the big picture you have to realize the "girlfriends" are necessary for baseball to continue! We have to look at girlfriends as the minor leaguers in the "supply chain" of future ball players.

Here's True Story: My niece is married to one of my son's former 18u teammates. They had their first child and named him Easton. She's pregnant with their second child. Ultra sound says it too is a boy but she swears it will NOT be named Louisville Slugger!
Fungo

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Baseball trumps testosterone. Doesn't it?

Briefly.

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He's raised two that at times have had girlfriends attached!

No. 1's GF is attempting a permanent attachment.............

Never thought about an FO III.

DeMarini it will be.

This is interesting as mostly men have responded Lefty34. If you don't mind, I would like a crack at this one. I don't believe it is the parent's job to worry about or manage their son's girlfriends. It is their own personal business imho. When my son left for college, he was dating a high school junior and my wife and I were very fond of her. When it was her turn to pick a school, she chose my son's college 750 miles away. My wife and I feared that was a mistake because it is a small campus, small town, and we thought they just might see too much of each other. It turns out we were right as they ended their realtionship last year after many years of dating. We believe our son may have been the controlling one in that relationship and we believe he may have learned a valuable lesson the HARD way. We were very sad that things did not work out but I still believe it is their life and they need to learn these things on their own.

Enough pontificating however... I'll try and answer your question....

What if your son were unattractive to girls? How do you suppose you would feel then? How do you suppose he would feel? IMHO, the way to handle your feelings on the present matter is to see it for the blessing it is Someone else see's the special qualities in your son that you do Moreover, your son is plenty old enough to figure out how to handle a rude/intrusive friend (male or female) on his own imho. I hope I was able to help in some small way and apologize in advance for being frank and posting in this forum quite frankly.

May I add this----we don't want coaches controlling the players and where and what sports they play but it is ok for parents to dictate to a HS players as to whether he has a girlfriend or not---now just think about that a short while

Then there are "cleat chasers" too --- a whole 'nother topic!

The only thing I want to add is he is a HS Freshman and she is a little older. And baseball tryouts are next week. Thank you ClevelandDad I guess I will try a little harder to befriend her so we can support him more, right?

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Originally posted by Fungo:

Here's True Story: My niece is married to one of my son's former 18u teammates. They had their first child and named him Easton. She's pregnant with their second child. Ultra sound says it too is a boy but she swears it will NOT be named Louisville Slugger!
Fungo

You could suggest Rawlings or Wilson.

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Thank you ClevelandDad I guess I will try a little harder to befriend her so we can support him more, right?

I didn't realize your son was only in 9th grade. I have a feeling this will all blow over before anyone has a chance to get real friendly. I certainly don't know if my take is right or wrong. Perhaps it is a mother's job to worry about these things All the best to your son!

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she is a little older.

bad news..............

Looks like it's roasting time again!

How 'bout a bar-b-que?

collikar, now a bar-b-que in TX sounds like the most logical thing ever!

Last year, one of our moms said to me and another mom, "Oh, my son doesn't care about girls right now, he is too serious about school and sports."

Meanwhile the day before, I had been taking team pictures. When this player came up for his individual mug shot, all the players shouted "Brittany!" (or some girl's name) to make him smile, which he did, very sheepishly.

Hmmm...

The next day, his mom said "He has a girlfriend! I had no idea!"

Lefty, I think I understand how you feel. 2B has girls texting him, texting one of his friends to spy on him (the friend put a stop to that) showing up for games, and even coming up to talk to 2Bdad and me after games. But so far he says they are only friends, and he does seem very awkward around them. At least while 2Bdad and I are there. Little stalkers, they are!

Through 8th and 9th grade, my son had the same girlfriend for 11 months. They broke up this past December. He's had 3 girlfriends since. No big deal. Tryouts start today!

My two cents. My S had a "girl friend" in 7th and 8th grade - really just a girl who constantly called, etc. He finally ended that. Then in 9th, he had a new GF - all year long. Took a couple of months, but he ended that one with the girl, on a good note. He is now a Sr., no GF since 9th grade, but lots of close friends who are girls. Your son too will work this out. In the meantime, if I were in that position, I'd make her a friend of mine. Take her with you to the games, see if you can keep her busy when he has to practice - like maybe join her at a Starbuck's for a coffee? That way she is busy, he can practice, etc. But again, as I said, just my two cents.

Another man putting in his infinite wisdom.

Ditto FormerObserver. I could leave it at that but........

The weekend after Christmas my freshman had a tournament. His girlfriend threw a fit because he would be busy for three days. She even hinted that he may want to figure out what is more important, her or baseball. He figured it out and I didn't have to say a thing.

Having girlfriends in high school is normal. My son dated a senior when he was a freshman and it didn't get in the way of his schoolwork and 2 sports. I did have some concern with him dating a senior but We didn't make a big deal of it and if his grades slipped, then something would've been done. Otherwise, it was better to leave him be to figure it outn and learn from it. It's part of growing up. When he broke up with her, he moved on and dated a number of girls throughout high school without a problem. He did date a clingon that was trying to play head games with him so while I gave him my wisdom about dealing with it and eventually, he broke it off, we never told him he couldn't date her but rather he ask himself if that's what he wants to deal with. Still, we never told him not to have girlfriends because it's not normal to not be interested in girls when they're in high school and once you dictate to them they can't have girlfriends, they'll date them on the sneak anyway so what's the point. If they got some common sense, they'll manage just fine. If not, then they're a time-bomb waiting to happen whether it's girls or some other influence that gets in the way.

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Still, we never told him not to have girlfriends because it's not normal to not be interested in girls when they're in high school and once you dictate to them they can't have girlfriends, they'll date them on the sneak anyway so what's the point. If they got some common sense, they'll manage just fine. If not, then they're a time-bomb waiting to happen whether it's girls or some other influence that gets in the way.

I am not at all worried about having girlfriends, what I am worried about is girls like this one is. Needy & self centered. He is supportive of her games and practices and job, but when the shoe is on the other foot she she looses her mind. That is the part I'm worried about. Him trying to please the coach, the teachers, himself and her.

quote:

Originally posted by Lefty34:
I am not at all worried about having girlfriends, what I am worried about is girls like this one is. Needy & self centered. He is supportive of her games and practices and job, but when the shoe is on the other foot she she looses her mind. That is the part I'm worried about. Him trying to please the coach, the teachers, himself and her.

When you as a parent sees it as it smacks you up side your head, that's a situation you would want a sitdown with him.

My son was in the same boat. His girlfriend was insecure and questioned his every move. We had a sitdown and laid it out there what he's in for if they keep going on like that. Eventually, he had enough and broke it off.

Bottom line is you can tell them till they're blue in the face and they know what you're telling them is right but they gotta deal with it themselves. It's the only way they won't resent you for putting in your two cents and later on when things settle down after they break up on their own terms, they'll appreciate what you were trying to drill in their head in the first place.

Girlfriends are undefeated.

LOL..true

Deadly curves that can ruin your batting average:







Don't you just love the dopey expression?

Girls can be a pain in the rear. I know, I have one.

In HS their hormones start working earlier than most boys. They tend to be highly emotional between 14-21. Manipulative and needy at times, they can drive their boyfriends crazy.

But this is a part of growing up and I agree that relationships should not be interefered with unless you feel some serious hanky panky is going on. They have to learn how to deal with relationships on their own.

Not that you are not entitled to how you feel, but it's best to keep it to yourself unless they ask for advice.