quote:It is such a difficult balancing act for parents...one of the toughest we as parents can ever face...how much control to give them, how much control to keep, how intrusive to be...particularly with the ramifications.
Good post.
Good post.
Good post.
044, very good post. I appreciate hearing your comments. Son will be rooming with two other ballplayers. Maybe they will get on year other.
Two more weeks til school starts back and 1 more week until Younggunson leaves to move in to his apt to get acquainted with his teammates, etc. Boy, this summer flew by. But it has been a great summer nevertheless.
Younggunson learned that when he actually applies himself in school (12hrs during this summer) that he CAN be a good student. Finished with an A average between all 4 classes. I'm more prouder of this one thing than any great game he has ever pitched.
He learned very hard and valuable lessons over the past year about balancing school work with playing ball. And even I learned just as many. While I have always been one that taught self-responsibility to my son, I was looked in the eyes by coaches who said they would stay on him to make sure he kept his grades up. I believed them and counted on them to make sure he did. Never again will I believe that line. But more importantly, son now knows that it's not up to them. It's only up to him to keep his grades up.
New freshman parents, make sure your son is making right decisions and choices at school the best you can. As parents we can only trust that they are when they tell us so. But please do not rely on the coaches to help keep them on the straight and narrow becuase you will be disappointed and it will be too late. Thankfully younggunson was able to stay eligible but some of his teammates weren't.
Good luck to all this coming year. It will be a challenging year for all of us, i.e. economy, jobs, finances, etc. I for one can say that I enjoy my family here at HSBBW for the support and am thankful.
Younggunson learned that when he actually applies himself in school (12hrs during this summer) that he CAN be a good student. Finished with an A average between all 4 classes. I'm more prouder of this one thing than any great game he has ever pitched.
He learned very hard and valuable lessons over the past year about balancing school work with playing ball. And even I learned just as many. While I have always been one that taught self-responsibility to my son, I was looked in the eyes by coaches who said they would stay on him to make sure he kept his grades up. I believed them and counted on them to make sure he did. Never again will I believe that line. But more importantly, son now knows that it's not up to them. It's only up to him to keep his grades up.
New freshman parents, make sure your son is making right decisions and choices at school the best you can. As parents we can only trust that they are when they tell us so. But please do not rely on the coaches to help keep them on the straight and narrow becuase you will be disappointed and it will be too late. Thankfully younggunson was able to stay eligible but some of his teammates weren't.
Good luck to all this coming year. It will be a challenging year for all of us, i.e. economy, jobs, finances, etc. I for one can say that I enjoy my family here at HSBBW for the support and am thankful.
YGD, very good post! Thank you for the insight. At our son's JC player/parent meeting, a parent asked coach about academic slackers and what they would do, .i.e, "get on them". His response was very direct. He said "they will go home". By all means, don't count on coaches to do it, they don't have the time and there are plenty of good ballplayers who keep their grades up, an endless supply.
quote:But please do not rely on the coaches to help keep them on the straight and narrow becuase you will be disappointed and it will be too late. Thankfully younggunson was able to stay eligible
Many parents will say that the boys need to deal with it on their own, personally many 18-19 year old kids still need some guidance.
Fan,
How does one find out if student is on track? We are new at this, daughter went to 4 year school and she made sure everything was in place. Would calling the counselor work? That is who my son picked his classes with?
How does one find out if student is on track? We are new at this, daughter went to 4 year school and she made sure everything was in place. Would calling the counselor work? That is who my son picked his classes with?
PUHD, if I remember correctly, we were told last year unless younggunson signed some waiver that allowed us to call and check on grades, attendance, etc. we would not be able to. We made a gut decision at that point to trust him because he was afterall a young man. You will simply have to trust him.
I will tell you that I couldn't help but wonder how many parents overrode their son/daughter and had their child sign the waiver so that they could call and check. Looking back, I would in a heartbeat for a freshman. Too much to risk academically.
I will tell you that I couldn't help but wonder how many parents overrode their son/daughter and had their child sign the waiver so that they could call and check. Looking back, I would in a heartbeat for a freshman. Too much to risk academically.
I know there are those who say don't do it, let them grow up, let them learn from their mistakes.
Well, some mistakes are hard to recover from. Some mistakes have adverse effects. We were/are able to help son with his decision and it was the best thing we could of done.
My thought is, when something is done for the first time, I want someone with experience helping along the way. Even in my job I have had for over twenty years, if I'm given a new assignment, I don't want someone letting me fail, I want to get it right the first time.
Just my two cents worth.
Well, some mistakes are hard to recover from. Some mistakes have adverse effects. We were/are able to help son with his decision and it was the best thing we could of done.
My thought is, when something is done for the first time, I want someone with experience helping along the way. Even in my job I have had for over twenty years, if I'm given a new assignment, I don't want someone letting me fail, I want to get it right the first time.
Just my two cents worth.
quote:I will tell you that I couldn't help but wonder how many parents overrode their son/daughter and had their child sign the waiver so that they could call and check. Looking back, I would in a heartbeat for a freshman. Too much to risk academically.
I dont think you need to do the above . I didnt.I just made it mandatory for him to see a counselor once a semester, sit and talk with us about class choices.Show him the IGETSCE so he understands what he needs.Parenting is like educating.You give them the tools so they can begin to do it on their own.
My son had to show us his grades at the quarter. I always know what he is taking.I just follow along with the sheet and make sure he has what he needs.
Younggundad is correct. There is too much at stake academically if you find out after the first year that they only took 6 units that transfer instead of the 12-15 they needed.
Just be informed.Know what they are taking.Know what they need.its not difficult.Once they sign up your done for the semseter.its not like your babysitting them every day.My son lived on his own, but I knew what classes he had and he always called us and told us how he was doing in his classes.
I keep saying the same thing:be informed,dont leave it all in their hands to find out you made a mistake that cant be fixed.
Simple plan:Son sees a counselor each semester, signs up for classes and takes classes that trasfer and are part of his GE,parents:know what GE classes are, talk to your sons to see how they are doing, what are they taking. do they like there classes? Whats intersting to them?
You dont have to be controlling their lives to be involved in their lives.I think sometimes people confuse the two.My daughter is 27, on her own, lives 3 hours away, she alwasy calls me with any major life decsion to ask me my opinion,ask me for my blessing if I dont agree with the decision.She wants me involved in her life as a mom,I dont check on her daily,(except goodnight I love you with a text).
I guess I am confused with the :they are adults so we have no involvement.Let them learn to be adults, help them when needed with advice or guidance. its not just cut them loose at 18 and let the chips fall where they fall.Thats not the way we operate with our children.
quote:Originally posted by YoungGunDad:
PUHD, if I remember correctly, we were told last year unless younggunson signed some waiver that allowed us to call and check on grades, attendance, etc. we would not be able to. We made a gut decision at that point to trust him because he was afterall a young man. You will simply have to trust him.
I will tell you that I couldn't help but wonder how many parents overrode their son/daughter and had their child sign the waiver so that they could call and check. Looking back, I would in a heartbeat for a freshman. Too much to risk academically.
You may not be able to access his info, or grades, but you have every right to call his advisor (academic or athletic) to inquire about progress.
The one thing that I did learn, is that for many coaches, they don't care in one fails, they will just replace that player with another, however most do care. Good question to ask any coach during recruiting, what do you feel is your greatest role as the Head Coach, if he doesn't answer to get the player graduated, better go look elsewhere.
The document giving parents permission to talk with school officials is called the "FERPA". It stands for family education rights and privacy act. Legally the school can't discuss anything pertaining to the student with the parent unless the student signs this document.
Funny story- at orientation last year for son's college, the students attended one presentation and the parents were at another presentation. Both included the info about the FERPA document. I was thinking to myself I would really like son to sign it, just in case we needed to discuss anything with the school. When we all met at the end of the day, son had already signed the document. Guess he read my mind. I feel that if we are paying for his education (even partially), we do have the right to view his records.
If this is all so confusing to us parents think how confusing this may be to the kids. They do need an extra set of eyes to help navigate all the steps needed to get from a jc to a 4 yr college.
Funny story- at orientation last year for son's college, the students attended one presentation and the parents were at another presentation. Both included the info about the FERPA document. I was thinking to myself I would really like son to sign it, just in case we needed to discuss anything with the school. When we all met at the end of the day, son had already signed the document. Guess he read my mind. I feel that if we are paying for his education (even partially), we do have the right to view his records.
If this is all so confusing to us parents think how confusing this may be to the kids. They do need an extra set of eyes to help navigate all the steps needed to get from a jc to a 4 yr college.
quote:Guess he read my mind. I feel that if we are paying for his education (even partially), we do have the right to view his records.
If this is all so confusing to us parents think how confusing this may be to the kids. They do need an extra set of eyes to help navigate all the steps needed to get from a jc to a 4 yr college.
Great points.Thanks for the name of that form.That could help a lot of parents if needed.It is good as mentioned to check in with your freshmen. We had grade checks , and knew classes etc, but for those whose kids are farhter away this could be a safety net.
If possible kids should take an on-line class or two summer after senior year. If you have already signed with a JUCO, take them thru that JUCO. Also if during BB season he can take an on-line class, those are nice b/c you dont miss class while traveling (this is applicable at JUCO or 4 year). You miss so much class in the spring that it relieves a little pressure. But, son does have to be reliable and remember to get on-line.
Also remember if you transfer 4 year to JUCO, even if you were a qualifier, you have to have 60 to move on.
Also remember if you transfer 4 year to JUCO, even if you were a qualifier, you have to have 60 to move on.