Help! Son ball Hit a coach sending him into trauma surgery!

I didn’t see what happened but my 11 1/2 left handed son was at practice this Tuesday night and the coach uses dads on the field for practice. 12u Aaa team they combine two teams to practice together. They were fielding the ground ball and throwing the ball to 1st base the coach, (dad), sons team mate father,  was on first base didn’t catch the ball and it nail him on the right side of his face- he drop to the floor! Blood everywhere! He couldn’t walk for 30 mins and his eyes lost vision! 1 hrs after he manage to stumble to his car and drove off. Main coach and other dads advise him to go to the dr! But practice went on as usual. 

My son was very shook up and all the teammates was saying “he killed the coach” as a joke! Every day since my son keep asking how is the coach, he’s feels bad, even in his sleep he’s saying “sorry coach”! My hubby travels so he was not at practice! He tells my son “they have a glove to catch the ball”! The other main coach and other dads said it was not a wild throw! I didn’t see it but I heard the crack  (No judging, no who’s right or wrong) just trying to explain it as best as I can  

Well today I got a call from another mom (she said on the group what’s up app the team is talking about it) and she said the dad finally went to the dr and they did  CAT scan and he was lifted to get trauma surgery! Multiple fractures, swollen bulging  eye, and maybe brain swelling! 

How do you talk to your child and what would you say to your child? 

Today is practice and I know the other kids will bring it up! I want to talk to him beforehand but I don’t know what to say! The dad son is on the other team and I just don’t know what to say to my son! 

My hubby said you tell him it’s a broken bone, and it’s not his fault! 

I might just be paranoid! Or emotional or overwhelm.

Any reasoning is greatly appreciated!   

What would you do????

 

Original Post

I always like to throw in a little humor, when the kids are down.  I would surely mention that his arm velo must really be improving, keep up the good work. 

I would have the focus be 100% on your son, so it doesn't affect him emotionally or on the field.  This may sound harsh, but the dad is a grown man.  If he can't catch the ball from a 12 YO, he shouldn't be on the field.

Now's the time to protect your kid!!

I don't have an answer for you.  But, I would say that you have a right to be concerned.  Yes, it was an accident.  Yes, there should be no blame.  But, people carry things.  Gil McDougald was not the same after hitting Herb Score.  (Google it.)  And, he was an adult when it happened.  Just be there for your son - which it sounds like you are! - and try and help him through it.  Yes, some people would laugh it off and not give it a second thought.  But, others just might carry it, even though it's not their fault, etc.

 

You tell him it was a good throw.  If it hit him in the face it was right on line.  Hope the dad does fine but it is not your son's fault.  Don't get out there if you can't catch.  Never a kid's fault if an adult gets hurt.  My middle son hit his coach pitch coach years ago and broke his glasses and eye socket.  The coach refused to pitch to him the rest of the season so they had to stop the games and let me come pitch to him when he came up to bat.  My son was upset but I told him you can't be responsible when you hit the ball and it goes really hard.  I would just remind my son to not let affect him. 

 

But know the boys and probably coaches will not let this go away for your son, much less the dad.  He may have to move his family before it is done with all the smack the other dads will give him.  Witness protection here he comes.

Can't find it now but I think there was a thread here about all the different times and ways we dads and coaches have been whacked by batted and thrown balls working with our boys.  There probably aren't very many who have not had it happen to them.  It's just unfortunate that, this time, the outcome may be potentially more serious than it usually is.  

You are certainly right to, first and foremost, assure your son that it was not his fault.  I think your husband is on the right track keeping it as simple as "he should have used his glove".  Beyond that, just prepare him that his buddies are likely to keep joking to him about it for a while but the dad will get better and it will pass.  Their joking, in addition to being what boys do, is probably in part their way of dealing with being a little scared about what happened.  Meanwhile, keep the dad in prayers for quick recovery if your family is so inclined but, as not to add fear to your son, don't make it sound too heavy.  

cabbagedad posted:

Can't find it now but I think there was a thread here about all the different times and ways we dads and coaches have been whacked by batted and thrown balls working with our boys.  There probably aren't very many who have not had it happen to them.  It's just unfortunate that, this time, the outcome may be potentially more serious than it usually is.  

You are certainly right to, first and foremost, assure your son that it was not his fault.  I think your husband is on the right track keeping it as simple as "he should have used his glove".  Beyond that, just prepare him that his buddies are likely to keep joking to him about it for a while but the dad will get better and it will pass.  Their joking, in addition to being what boys do, is probably in part their way of dealing with being a little scared about what happened.  Meanwhile, keep the dad in prayers for quick recovery if your family is so inclined but, as not to add fear to your son, don't make it sound too heavy.  

Same here.  Over the 17 years I coached baseball, football, basketball, and soccer I can not count the number of times I was hit by something errant.  Some of them really stung.  Some left marks, others didn't do much.  Its one of the hazards of coaching youth sports.

My son hit a very hard foul ball in LL.  It rocketed backwards into the Umps throat protector.  It busted the protector in half and pushed it hard into the Umps throat.  They ended up rushing the ump to the ER as he was having difficulty breathing.  My son was mortified.  He was really upset about it until the next time he saw the ump.  Which was a couple of days later.  The ump assured him there was nothing he could do about it.  My kids friends gave him crap for it for the rest of the season.  He learned to shake it off and just go with it.  At the time the ump he hurt was only 17.  Very mature guy for his age.  As my son was 12 there is only a 5 year spread.  Now that my kid is in his mid 20s they are friends.  They still give each other crap about this.  Its become a thing between them, but it did create a little bit of a bond that helped lead to their friendship.

Poor kid, this wasn't his fault but that could traumatize anyone. I hope your son can shake it off.

When my brother was 16, his summer team went to a tourney in Cincinnatti. Brother's teammate hit a line drive between short and 3rd which hit the ump... in the testicle. He wasn't wearing a cup, and required emergency surgery to remove his testicle. Terrible tragedy, but as others have said, these accidents happen frequently in sports. 

CatcherDadNY posted:

Best to notify your insurance carrier in the event of a future claim..if this incurred substantial medical bills which it appears it has, I would take precautions..good luck.

I can't imagine any scenario where a 12 YO kid would have to pay a claim.  Maybe the head coach, organization, field owner, but not the player.  Zero negligence on his part.

CTbballDad posted:

I always like to throw in a little humor, when the kids are down.  I would surely mention that his arm velo must really be improving, keep up the good work. 

I would have the focus be 100% on your son, so it doesn't affect him emotionally or on the field.  This may sound harsh, but the dad is a grown man.  If he can't catch the ball from a 12 YO, he shouldn't be on the field.

Now's the time to protect your kid!!

I said basically this same thing to my 14 year old daughter who was lobbing throws from 3rd base. 

I asked if she had a problem with her arm. 

No she says...I don't think the first baseman can catch my throw. 

Not your problem I say, make your throw....she'll catch it or it will hit her.  

What if she gets hurt she asks.

I reply … if a freshman 1st baseman cannot catch a throw from third in her face...she shouldn't be playing.

My wife then says...don't listen to him … he's an animal.

I then say...enjoy the bench because the girl firing the ball from 3rd to first will be playing and you'll be watching.

My daughter then ponders the situation and says...I'm sick and tired or lobbing it...I'm going to cut it loose.

Another family crisis resolved by Father Knows Best.

We had a similar situation a few years ago, but to a player not a coach. We all used it as a chance to remind our kids that baseball is fun, but it also can be dangerous so it's important to pay attention and take it seriously. 

Many years later my husband was setting up a camera to video my HS son pitching. He turned his back, son threw a wild pitch, hit him in the back. Dad went down hard and didn't get up for a few minutes.

Son's comment? Gee dad, i'm glad it was just my change up.

Son's comment? Gee dad, i'm glad it was just my change up.

Thank you this made me laugh so hard! 

Last night practice was a bit rough. None of the kids wanted to throw with him. Few said to him their parents told them don’t throw with him. He handle it great but I could tell he was hurt! Going to bed he ask me should I take speed of the ball. I told him if chapman felt that way do you think he would ever max at 105 mph! You just got to be you son! Lights on you play like a gamer! He went to sleep smiling after we joked that he’s “so strong”  all the girls going to love those muscles 💪! 

I'm so sorry this happened to your son.  It sounds as if he did nothing wrong, but an experience like that would be hard to live with.  

I'm stunned that team parents told their kids not to throw with your son.  Those folks sound both stupid and cruel.

My son is in HS and now throws hard enough that I am really on my toes on the rare occasions he is willing to play catch with me.  I don't think he'd hit me in the face, but during long toss it is easy for an old guy like me with slow reflexes to take a short-hopper off the shins.  Lately the boy thinks it's funny to throw breaking balls to me without warning.  The other day I said "Think for a minute about how you'd feel if one of those sliders you are practicing hits me in the ribs."  He immediately came back with: "I'd feel really bad... [smile and a pause]... Because that would mean my dad can't catch."  

Ran into another parent at the local store! 

He said:  “The coach that got hit has a long time issue with alcohol and the day he got hit he was very intoxicating! That’s the reason he didn’t want an ambulance at the field and choose to drive home and delay treatment!” Every parent knew that played before! We are new to the team! 

I have been eating myself up for days! My mental state of mind was in such a wreck!

 I ended up asking The main coach and he was is fully aware of his intoxication. 

Guess it explains a lot! Texas, Baseball and Drinking seems to be a norm here in our neck of the woods! 

Not sure how to feel.... 

if it wasn’t for this site I might lose my mental state of mind! 

 

I refuse to play catch with my son anymore, LHP so everything moves and tri-focals don't do good with moving balls at 90.  I have told my son to be careful who he throws with at practice because our JV and V practice together at times and some of the younger kids, we have 7-12 grade, want to warm up with him.  I told him you can warm them up but then you need to finish with one of the older guys.  I would hate for him to nail a young guy and hurt him or scare him from wanting to play.

Tell your son that he just saved the guys life! 

I literally pulled my son from a dugout at a tournament when I found out that the 19 yr old coach was drunk! Son was to pitch that game.  How lucky they were I didn't call the police & have them all arrested!  

baseballmom posted:

Tell your son that he just saved the guys life! 

I literally pulled my son from a dugout at a tournament when I found out that the 19 yr old coach was drunk! Son was to pitch that game.  How lucky they were I didn't call the police & have them all arrested!  

For what? Coaching baseball while intoxicated. Sometimes stupid hurts, leave it at that.

Yep, the drunk is stupid. Just saying that a knock to his head may have awakened him enough to seek help. 

I just don't want the boy to carry any guilt or be affected in any way. The parents need to stop their kids from teasing /bullying him! 

Personally, I'd find a new team ...

Chico Escuela posted:

My son is in HS and now throws hard enough that I am really on my toes on the rare occasions he is willing to play catch with me.  I don't think he'd hit me in the face, but during long toss it is easy for an old guy like me with slow reflexes to take a short-hopper off the shins.  Lately the boy thinks it's funny to throw breaking balls to me without warning.  The other day I said "Think for a minute about how you'd feel if one of those sliders you are practicing hits me in the ribs."  He immediately came back with: "I'd feel really bad... [smile and a pause]... Because that would mean my dad can't catch."  

My son threw hard as well.  Still does even though he doesn't play anymore.   The last time we played catch I ended up putting his catcher's gear on.  He wanted to practice pitching even though he didn't really pitch.  A couple of them got away from me and I was glad to have the gear on.

I hope this ends well..I'm concerned that once the substantial medical bills start arriving then all might not proceed so humorously...I would be protecting my flank if I were the kid's father and getting contact info of any witnesses..prudence is a good thing..good luck.

If your son is showing empathy for this coach, good job! You raised him right. Hope the dad that got hit turns out okay.

My son is 15 and his throws are much too fast for me now. When he pitches I sit behind an L screen, last year he threw a ball and broke my foot. He really felt bad, but it was then I realized my limits. I still help out my son and his teammates at unofficial practices, I hit balls to them but they throw and field to each other. I know my limitations!

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