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Our season is just about over. Kid is a junior. I think it was a good year for him. Some highlights that will be remembered but also some struggles that he should learn from and make him better in the future. No complaints and I am grateful for the season.

But, I have five friends with HS player kids - all juniors or seniors and most on other teams - where the season was torture for the fathers because of their kid's experience and they have been counting down the days and will be relieved when the season is over.

Reasons are varied. Although kid's playing time, role and/or disagreement with the coach is the common theme.

My guess is that it plays out for people this way more times than not. And, those who don't experience it are fortunate that their kid's abilities (etc.) take this possibility off the table. Or, is that not true?

Last edited by Francis7
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@CoachB25 posted:

Tell your 5 friends to take a parental role and not allow their sons to be tortured by the high school experience.  If it is as bad as you suggest, those players can rest and relax while HS baseball is going on.

It was more torture for the dads. I think in many of the cases the kid was not thrilled but willing to wear it just to be part of the team.

Last edited by Francis7

FWIW, in many of the cases of what I am aware, objectively, the dads are 100% wrong and just don't get it. But, they are operating with dad goggles and not seeing what everyone else sees. But, even though the dads are in the wrong and twisted for no good reason, it doesn't change the fact that they are feeling miserable over their son's HS experience.

Then, in some other cases, they have a legitimate case where the coach is being abusive or vindictive. And, everyone sees it that way.

Is it possible too many fathers revel in being in the spotlight with their son? Fathers have to remember they had their turn whether they made the team or not. Now it’s their son’s turn. Playing time and success are not about the father. It’s about the player.

After an all conference soph year my son had a spectacular (unconscious) junior year. When I arrived parents raved to me about my son. I would smile, quietly thank them and suggest they tell my son, not me. I told them I was just there to enjoy the game. I tended to cheer louder for other players than my son.

The point is too many father’s want to bask in the glory and see their son’s success as a reflection on them. I had already had my turn. I was there to enjoy my son’s turn.

Last edited by RJM
@TPM posted:

I understand this post. I have seen and heard things you wouldn't believe.

I actually think some dads need to stay home, they just take it too seriously.

I seen dads show up religiously and be ticked off for two and a half hours two, three times per week all season.

The one time I was ticked off I was fatigued by the time the game was over. I said some things I probably shouldn’t have said about the coach’s maturity and lack of ability to communicate with players. Fortunately it didn’t affect my son.

Last edited by RJM
@2022NYC posted:

Come on franny spill it. Too vague, need more details on the issues from those dads.

I don't want to out anyone.

But, at a high level it's things like a dad thinking his son should get playing time just because he's a senior, another dad thinking his son should have been playing a position regularly regardless of the fact that he's a defensive liability, stuff like that...

I think it depends.  Some parents do look through rose colored glasses.  Some coaches make it miserable. Our son's sophomore year was very stressed filled and not fun. Our coach is old school.  Tended to be condescending. and had a lot of kids questioning themselves. Told one P5 kid that he didn't know what the school saw in him.  Told a future second rounder (out of hs) that he shouldn't be worried about the mlb. Threatened to cut kids after mistakes (in front of the team). Told my kid that college coaches wouldn't like his delivery and if he didn't change it, he would sit all year.  He sat all year.  Lots of college coaches called him to have my son call and we have NO idea what he said to them.  It was a confidence drain. He still committed to a P5 that summer. The next year he played, they needed him, but the conversations were the same.  He learned to let it roll off his back.  I will say we have heard now from a lot of guys that their college coaches are just as brutal in the things they say and how demeaning they can be.   I guess in most cases, it's just good training for what they will experience in the future.

@baseballhs posted:

I will say we have heard now from a lot of guys that their college coaches are just as brutal in the things they say and how demeaning they can be.   I guess in most cases, it's just good training for what they will experience in the future.

THIS.

I've heard people who are afraid to say something to their kid because they don't want to get into their head, upset them, cause doubt, derail conference, etc.

And, I get it. No one should say to a kid that they suck, should quit, etc.

But, that said, in college, coaches aren't going to pull any punches or sugarcoat stuff. They will call you out and be blunt on weaknesses and shortcomings, areas for improvement, etc.

And, if stuff like that is going to cause a kid to have a hissy fit then they aren't going to last long in college.

Last edited by Francis7

There are terrible HS coaches but I would rather have my kid learn how to deal with it by not letting them change who he is and use the time on the team build friendships and support his "brothers".  Balance will eventually happen and bad coaches do leave or get removed. Ultimately the kid determines what kind of HS baseball experience he will have, if playing time is the fun metric...that should be reevaluated, just sayin

Last edited by 2022NYC

Soph year my son thought his high school coach didn’t like him. It turned out a young, rising star, first time head coach held the old school approach his much older mentor had towards rookies.

The guy was really rough on my son even though he was starting and had a real good season. He even showed him up in front of the varsity and JV team on the bus one day, After the last game soph year the coach told my son he expects him to put the team on his back next year.

Their relationship completely changed his junior year. My son relaxed enough to start seeing his coach’s sense of humor.

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