HS Ball @ Varsity

I guess we're fortunate, as I do not hear a lot dumb stuff or complaining when I sit in the stands.   But if I did, I would just move down the line.  Easy solution.

Freshman playing varsity and coaches' kids are always going to get lots of doubt from others on the team and parents of course.  Your advice was sound, that it all matters in how the kid performs.  Nothing a parent says is going to matter in the dugout--it is all about how the kid earns his teammates respect.  If he has a great attitude and performs, nobody can complain, teammates or parents. 

Sounds like he had a great year and has a promising future.  Hopefully he does not take his success as a Freshman for granted.  We had a kid on my son's team who was by far the best hitter on his Varsity team as a Freshman, and he too hit a HR or two that year.  He was a big kid with an excellent power bat that seemed bound for greatness.  Flash forward to his Senior year and he regressed so much that he did not hit a HR the entire year, led the team in strikeouts with a mediocre average, and was second in errors.  I felt bad for the kid because he is a good kid, but watching over the years it seems he rested on his success as a Freshman. He never really challenged himself in the Summer and Fall to play on a strong travel ball team (he just played on a team with friends with low level competition).   Other kids grew up and got better, but he never grew or got stronger.  I do not know if he will even make the team at a JUCO he is going to next year. 

I'm not suggesting in any way that fate will be your sons, but it has happened before to many kids who made Varsity very early in their HS career.  High school is an amazing process where kids change constantly and are challenged, often times to try bad things. .If your son truly loves baseball and wants to play in college, then he is already on the right track and can keep working toward that goal while tuning out all of the distractions.

Backstop22 posted:

Freshman playing varsity and coaches' kids are always going to get lots of doubt from others on the team and parents of course.  Your advice was sound, that it all matters in how the kid performs.  Nothing a parent says is going to matter in the dugout--it is all about how the kid earns his teammates respect.  If he has a great attitude and performs, nobody can complain, teammates or parents. 

Sounds like he had a great year and has a promising future.  Hopefully he does not take his success as a Freshman for granted.  We had a kid on my son's team who was by far the best hitter on his Varsity team as a Freshman, and he too hit a HR or two that year.  He was a big kid with an excellent power bat that seemed bound for greatness.  Flash forward to his Senior year and he regressed so much that he did not hit a HR the entire year, led the team in strikeouts with a mediocre average, and was second in errors.  I felt bad for the kid because he is a good kid, but watching over the years it seems he rested on his success as a Freshman. He never really challenged himself in the Summer and Fall to play on a strong travel ball team (he just played on a team with friends with low level competition).   Other kids grew up and got better, but he never grew or got stronger.  I do not know if he will even make the team at a JUCO he is going to next year. 

I'm not suggesting in any way that fate will be your sons, but it has happened before to many kids who made Varsity very early in their HS career.  High school is an amazing process where kids change constantly and are challenged, often times to try bad things. .If your son truly loves baseball and wants to play in college, then he is already on the right track and can keep working toward that goal while tuning out all of the distractions.

Backstop , I agree 100%  and I've seen those kind of kids too, my son 5,9 and growing.

At our high school we had a new AD. He was eliminating a legacy of losing in most sports, upperclassman entitlement and parents who owned the coaches or felt they did. There were a few comments about younger kids playing while upperclassmen sat or quit. 

But how much credibility do parents have when last year's 4-18 team goes 15-7 and wins the conference with five freshmen (stud D1 prospect softball pitchers have a huge impact in high school)? Then the baseball team went from 6-16 to 14-8 and second place with a soph shortstop. It's the parents of kids who lost their positions who complain to other parents whose kids lost their positions. The other parents were happy to see the new starters. The dad of the upperclassman my son beat out knew it was the right move. He thought his kid should have started someplace else. A few games into the season another soph was called up to start. The lineup also had the first freshman starter ever. The kid was a vacuum cleaner at first.

I just tuned it all out. Some parents had their glory when my son was picked off to end the season. They overlooked his 2 rbi's single kept the game going. Everyone in the park knew he was going. A pitcher with a good move caught him on about the tenth throw over.

Then there was "these kids all think they're too good to play summer ball with our kids." They were. I thought it. I never said it.

By the second year the cancers had graduated or been filtered out. The complaining was reduced to the normal, irrational stuff you hear anywhere.

Backstop22 posted:

Freshman playing varsity and coaches' kids are always going to get lots of doubt from others on the team and parents of course. 

Oh my, living this right now. 2018 son was on the varsity roster as a Frosh and made a couple appearances. Fast forward to sophomore season, with dad as a new assistant coach, and the chatter is that he now doesn't deserve to be there. One parent actually went to the AD with charges of favoritism toward my kid because his dad is an assistant. And, you know if one parent was bold enough to formally make that claim to the AD, it was the talk of all the parents. My son DH'd most of the season in place of a classmate who was the starting 2nd baseman (the kid of the dad that complained to the AD). My son's on base percentage was about .300 above the 2nd baseman's. During summer season last year, he actually had the highest on base percentage that the program has seen in years, from the 9th position too. Yet, all of a sudden he doesn't deserve his spot and it's favoritism. In our last game, he went 3 for 4 with 2 rbi's and scored a run, but he didn't deserve the spot.

As a parent, all we can do is try to rise above it and teach our kid to work harder to erase any doubt. The thing is, parents aren't privy to the discussions that the coaches have. They don't know how much thought goes into figuring out the rosters and making these decisions, especially when the decisions aren't black and white. They see something happening to their kid or not happening to their kid and immediately think it's favoritism or unfair. It's all about pointing the finger or placing blame rather than instilling a work ethic in their kid or helping them overcome these challenges.

It seems that parental conflict is common in high school sports.  Everybody thinks there kid should be playing and become disgruntled when they don't.  Sounds very stressful. 

c2019 posted:

As My 2019's freshmen year on varsity is coming to a close in the next few weeks ,  I will say it wasn't easy as a parent( nerve wrecking), for him it seemed as it didn't bother him one bit with all the pressure, he hit his 1st dinger a couple weeks ago ( bomb to left center)and he's thrown out over 12 runners at 2nd trying to steal . 

now as a dad im proud of him he has a great mindset with all the attention on him, he moved from the 9 spot in the start of the year  to 2nd in the lineup. , as a parent I took my share of critics  in the stands and kept my mouth shut , until this sat when I had to put some lucky parent in their place(LOL) , for any parent who's kid is a underclassman playing on varsity , I will say its not for everyone, you have to have thick skin, and better yet the kid himself has to not let it get to him, like I told my son from day one ,when you perform and do your job they will have nothing negative to say, that being said they all love him and joke around with him saying he's going to do big things in the next few years, I smile and tell him im proud, but you know we have a lot of work to do still. and he's kept his GPA at 3.5

enjoying  the ride ,,,

Great that you're enjoying the ride.  I defiantly did too when my son was a starter on his varsity team.  And while I made it a point to enjoy the ride, looking back now I kinda wish I had tried to "savor" it more.  It just seems to have gone by so incredibly fast when it's done and you look back as the wonderful experiences.

You're absolutely right that a kid really needs to have a thick skin to deal with the antics of the upperclassmen.  It can be brutal on a young kid in with much older, more experienced and mature guys.  But later on he's look back with fondness with regards to that.  That was good advice you gave your son and I did likewise and he come to feel (as he still does even today) that he'll let his performance on the field stand for itself and let the derogatory stuff be ignored like water of a duck's back.  That approach has served him well.

While I am normally somewhat "reserved" in character, I do like to express myself from time to time and I feel the hardest thing for me as a parent to do was to keep my mouth shut . . . about a lot of things (LOL . . . it still is).    I needed to continue to set an example for my son(s) and not only be positive about him but that way also for the team and each individual player (his teammates he depends on to reach their goals).

Good luck to your son as he moves forward.  As a starter on a varsity team and from the sound of it, he's got a bright future in baseball . . . particularly if he maintains a good head on his shoulders.

Now that you're enjoying it . . . savor it too.  

There may be more opportunity for this in baseball than in other sports.

In football, free substitutions and special teams mean that anyone who can contribute is getting on the field at least a little bit.

In wrestling, no parent would ever dare to ask why his kid isn't starting because the answer will be that the kid who is starting beat the kid who is not in the wrestle-off. 

In timing sports, it's obvious who deserves a lane in the pool or on the track.

But in baseball every parent of every bench player knows that his or her player is better at something than someone in the lineup. Also, every time a player makes an error, the bench player parents accurately recall occasions when their kids made similar plays; when a pitcher has a bad outing, the bench parents know their kids have at times pitched better. When batters strike out or fail to move runners into scoring position or drive them in, the bench player parents accurately remember successful execution. Ditto for every errant throw and every mental error.

Baseball is a game of failure, so the starters fail a lot. This gives rise to lots and lots of second guessing.

Tune it out as well as you can.

Best wishes,

We were lucky, in that I never heard disparaging comments at all from any of the other parents, at least not to my face or earshot... I also never sat in the stands with them as well... All 4-years I sat in my chair on the 3B side close to our on-deck circle...

Truman posted:

c2019 posted:

As My 2019's freshmen year on varsity is coming to a close in the next few weeks ,  I will say it wasn't easy as a parent( nerve wrecking), for him it seemed as it didn't bother him one bit with all the pressure, he hit his 1st dinger a couple weeks ago ( bomb to left center)and he's thrown out over 12 runners at 2nd trying to steal . 

now as a dad im proud of him he has a great mindset with all the attention on him, he moved from the 9 spot in the start of the year  to 2nd in the lineup. , as a parent I took my share of critics  in the stands and kept my mouth shut , until this sat when I had to put some lucky parent in their place(LOL) , for any parent who's kid is a underclassman playing on varsity , I will say its not for everyone, you have to have thick skin, and better yet the kid himself has to not let it get to him, like I told my son from day one ,when you perform and do your job they will have nothing negative to say, that being said they all love him and joke around with him saying he's going to do big things in the next few years, I smile and tell him im proud, but you know we have a lot of work to do still. and he's kept his GPA at 3.5

enjoying  the ride ,,,

Great that you're enjoying the ride.  I defiantly did too when my son was a starter on his varsity team.  And while I made it a point to enjoy the ride, looking back now I kinda wish I had tried to "savor" it more.  It just seems to have gone by so incredibly fast when it's done and you look back as the wonderful experiences.

You're absolutely right that a kid really needs to have a thick skin to deal with the antics of the upperclassmen.  It can be brutal on a young kid in with much older, more experienced and mature guys.  But later on he's look back with fondness with regards to that.  That was good advice you gave your son and I did likewise and he come to feel (as he still does even today) that he'll let his performance on the field stand for itself and let the derogatory stuff be ignored like water of a duck's back.  That approach has served him well.

While I am normally somewhat "reserved" in character, I do like to express myself from time to time and I feel the hardest thing for me as a parent to do was to keep my mouth shut . . . about a lot of things (LOL . . . it still is).    I needed to continue to set an example for my son(s) and not only be positive about him but that way also for the team and each individual player (his teammates he depends on to reach their goals).

Good luck to your son as he moves forward.  As a starter on a varsity team and from the sound of it, he's got a bright future in baseball . . . particularly if he maintains a good head on his shoulders.

Now that you're enjoying it . . . savor it too.  

Thanks a ton 

You only live once .. I will savor it too, btw he went 3 for 3 today . 2 singles ,Triple ,walk , 3 RBIs and 2 runs scored . 

Proud dad . 

FRom the reaction of the crowd in the stands when 2016 pitched for V in summer games 8th grade yr. I too stayed away from the stands.I too like others here wished I could have/would have savoured it more. For me/him it could have been alot worse but team was really bad frosh yr. 1st start 8 errors in 5 1/3 next game about the same.While I wasn't in the stands I would hope that none of the parents were complaining about frosh pitcher when no one could catch.He only went 4-4 frosh. yr. but had a couple big W. Last game of season in regional semi lost the game 3-2 on a ESPN catch by other team CF with bases loaded and 2 out.For our fans to just hear complete silence from other team (during sports do not get along) for 4 innings was enough to get everyone on 2016 side really help.I guess thats what it really comes down to.When these young kids get moved up one hopes that they contribute enough that everyone can see why coaches brought them up early.