HS coach won't play son

Sorry for replying to such an old post but as I google searched this topic I was interested by what everyone said. There was some good advice given and I hope it worked out for the player involved. With that being said my son struggles to get playing time also. He is currently 5'8" 165. He is strong and athletic. He squats 350, benches 150, runs the 60 in 7.4 possibly less now and a time to first in 4.2. His running was clocked by hand at a college scouting clinic. He has above average bat speed and other batting matrix numbers for his grade level. Numbers also taken at the clinic. He throws 76 in the field and 72 on the mound. He can pitch, catch and play outfield. His best position is CF. He has been at the top of his roster every year from 8-14 on travel teams. He started at Single A and as we saw him being the best on the teams we moved him up until he reach a low major team with really good players, but the team was weak on elite pitchers. He leads the team on offense as a leadoff batter and only had 1 error in the outfield after 40 games. He made the freshmen team at 13 in the 8th grade. He had the best tryout I have ever seen him have. He out ran everyone, had great catches and throws and hit the ball to the fence while others barely out of the infield. I noticed quickly that most kids trying out were from Dixie Boys Rec league and not travel ball. I could go on for hours so if you have a question please ask. So 4 8th grade kids made JV. My son started batting last as a DH on the freshman team. By the end of the year he was a DH batting forth and leading the team in overall offense. (Avg,Runs,RBI,Walks, Steals,ect) He rarely ever played in the field. While other less quality batters played were ever they wanted. My son was also never allowed to pitch in a game only scrimmages which he did very well striking out or getting ground outs from the JV team. If ever there was a sub to be made he was the first one pulled every time. The last 4 games were also played with 3 of the 8th grade JV players who could not hang with JV. When they brought them down they took my son's batting opportunities. None of the 3 even batted over .200 while on the Freshman team (He batted a low .400). At the end of the year he was passed up for an award as offensive player of the year. The winner had an average 15 points higher and a higher slugging percentage, my son surpassed him in all other categories and batted less often.  Next year my son has a good tryout almost as good as last year. He was out ran by one other kid if that matters. He made JV yay! He started again DH batting 9th. He is now DH batting 2nd with 2 innings in the outfield out of 11 games and 6 were blowouts we won.  He is currently leading in offense again and in the top 3 in all categories for hitting, stealing and so forth. Two of his team mates that he bats better than have been called up to Varsity. We know the coach does not like him, he said so and its the same coach this year. My son is afraid that he might have him a 3rd year if he stays on JV for a 2nd year. This coach really gets in his head and the game is no longer as fun. please give some advice and ask any question you like. My son would like to transfer to a new school or only play showcase ball the rest of high school. People say to hang in there and be tough but how much is too much if you strive and do your best and their really is nothing to look forward to in HS baseball except when its over you can go play with a better team and coach that appreciates you and encourages you. Input?

Input.....oh dear....my input would be that if he likes practicing with his friends it doesn't matter if he's IN the games.  Sometimes life isn't fair, that's true.  Your choice to stick it out or not. Play only travel ball or not.  For now I would tell him to talk to the coach about how he could get up to Varsity, and I would leave out ALL mention of who he is better than, and just ask for advice to improve.

BBDAD98 posted:

Sorry for replying to such an old post but as I google searched this topic I was interested by what everyone said. There was some good advice given and I hope it worked out for the player involved. With that being said my son struggles to get playing time also. He is currently 5'8" 165. He is strong and athletic. He squats 350, benches 150, runs the 60 in 7.4 possibly less now and a time to first in 4.2. His running was clocked by hand at a college scouting clinic. He has above average bat speed and other batting matrix numbers for his grade level. Numbers also taken at the clinic. He throws 76 in the field and 72 on the mound. He can pitch, catch and play outfield. His best position is CF. He has been at the top of his roster every year from 8-14 on travel teams. He started at Single A and as we saw him being the best on the teams we moved him up until he reach a low major team with really good players, but the team was weak on elite pitchers. He leads the team on offense as a leadoff batter and only had 1 error in the outfield after 40 games. He made the freshmen team at 13 in the 8th grade. He had the best tryout I have ever seen him have. He out ran everyone, had great catches and throws and hit the ball to the fence while others barely out of the infield. I noticed quickly that most kids trying out were from Dixie Boys Rec league and not travel ball. I could go on for hours so if you have a question please ask. So 4 8th grade kids made JV. My son started batting last as a DH on the freshman team. By the end of the year he was a DH batting forth and leading the team in overall offense. (Avg,Runs,RBI,Walks, Steals,ect) He rarely ever played in the field. While other less quality batters played were ever they wanted. My son was also never allowed to pitch in a game only scrimmages which he did very well striking out or getting ground outs from the JV team. If ever there was a sub to be made he was the first one pulled every time. The last 4 games were also played with 3 of the 8th grade JV players who could not hang with JV. When they brought them down they took my son's batting opportunities. None of the 3 even batted over .200 while on the Freshman team (He batted a low .400). At the end of the year he was passed up for an award as offensive player of the year. The winner had an average 15 points higher and a higher slugging percentage, my son surpassed him in all other categories and batted less often.  Next year my son has a good tryout almost as good as last year. He was out ran by one other kid if that matters. He made JV yay! He started again DH batting 9th. He is now DH batting 2nd with 2 innings in the outfield out of 11 games and 6 were blowouts we won.  He is currently leading in offense again and in the top 3 in all categories for hitting, stealing and so forth. Two of his team mates that he bats better than have been called up to Varsity. We know the coach does not like him, he said so and its the same coach this year. My son is afraid that he might have him a 3rd year if he stays on JV for a 2nd year. This coach really gets in his head and the game is no longer as fun. please give some advice and ask any question you like. My son would like to transfer to a new school or only play showcase ball the rest of high school. People say to hang in there and be tough but how much is too much if you strive and do your best and their really is nothing to look forward to in HS baseball except when its over you can go play with a better team and coach that appreciates you and encourages you. Input?

Your son starts every game.  What exactly are you concerned about?  What grade is he in and what level is he playing?  

The simple answer to the playing time riddle is that Coaches play kids that they believe can help them win. Period. This applies not only at the HS level but also college .

That being said , if a kid in fact believes he can help his team win and the Coach sees it differently , the player ( never the parent ) needs to speak to the coach . He needs to be direct and ask the Coach what it's gonna take for him to play or move up to Varsity in this case. At this point most coaches are pretty straight forward in explaining to a player what he needs to do or what the coach needs from him to advance .

It's pretty simple. But most HS kids are afraid to approach the coach. That is sort of a developmental thing at that age. But if he's truly unhappy or unclear about his role or future he needs to start there.

Don't let your son or yourself get caught up in the age old excuse of 'The Coach just doesn't like me' . That is a mistake and will just cloud your judgment . Because it's irrelevant. Remember , HS Coaches play the kids that can help them win. Period. They have 16-21 guys on Varsity , of those 16-21 guys , sure there may be a couple kids he likes personally more than others and occasionally a dislike and more often than not indifference towards some players, but it will rarely change how he makes out his line up card.

A bad student, bad attitude jerk that touches 88-90 mph will pitch at the HS level regardless of the coaches personal opinion of him. Don't forget that.

Have your son talk to the coach about what it's gonna take to advance in the program. After the meeting sit down with your son and put together a plan to accomplish those goals. Then have him go back to the coach once your son has improved in those areas and Hold the coach to his word.

Whenever I see comments like, “He had the best tryout I’ve ever seen” I become real skeptical about the parent’s objectivity and ability to judge the overall situation.

Welcome to the site, BBdad.  

You said... "We know the coach does not like him, he said so and its the same coach this year."

Based on the abundance of other information you provided, it is likely not his playing ability that the coach doesn't like.  So, what is it?  I don't know your son's situation or if any of what I am about to share applies.  But in my experience, your son is probably very aware of what the issues are.  And, those issues are very likely to be the same that cause the next coach to not like him as well.  And, assuming I am the least bit on the right track, he needs to face up to those issues and fix them.  He needs to share with the coach that he recognizes them and is addressing them and then he needs to do it.

I head up a decent program and coach V.  I oversee the entire program before we split off.  We have a handful of juniors that are still playing JV this year.  Generally, it is not due to their lack of talent.  Last night, we took advantage of a rain night and I conducted a hitting discussion for the JV group so that they all know the program way and so that they have a clear path toward continued improvement.  Toward the end of the discussion, I had to kick two players out of the meeting.  They were two of the juniors.  It was no real surprise.  They don't lack talent.  They were doing what they do that dictates why they are still on JV.  They comply just enough to stay in the program but don't care sufficiently to address the issues that prevent them from being a part of the next level in the program.

Again, I have no idea how much of this applies to your son.  

I also see that you have been involved in coaching previously and I see that you have quite a depth of statistical info on your son as well as exactly how his numbers compare to others on the team/in the program.  I suspect this won't go over well but my suggestion is that you let go of this, at least to a large extent.  The way you are using the comp numbers is not healthy or productive for your son.  Don't look for reasons he should be "in".  HE should be looking for reasons he is "out" and working toward eliminating those.  He should be working toward being the player the coach wants in the lineup, on the field and in the dugout as a teammate and he should have the goal of leaving no doubt with all three... regardless of who the coach is.

You found a site that can be a treasure trove of information and direction for you both.  I hope my "less than rosy" message doesn't scare you away from using it to the fullest.

It doesn't matter, tell him to continue to improve/get better. The situation may seem as a setback but it's a big character builder..........find the positives and forge ahead. Be the best teammate, best ball shagger, the best __(insert)___________................control his attitude and effort. The pieces will fall where they fall as you can't control others and the decisions they make.

I will continue to repeat, attitude and effort! It's very difficult to turn away a player that has a good attitude and works his tail off.

Don't compare other players tools, attributes, ect. It's irrelevant to your sons development as a person and a player. Be consistent working on his own game, energy focused for ONE second on another player is time away from his own improvement.

By taking ownership in his own journey, not blaming others and really focusing on the things he can control, that being attitude and effort.

StrainedOblique posted:

... Remember , HS Coaches play the kids that can help them win. Period. ..

A bad student, bad attitude jerk that touches 88-90 mph will pitch at the HS level regardless of the coaches personal opinion of him. Don't forget that.

....

I am almost always in agreement with Strained and his perspective.  However, as it applies to this particular OP, I have to disagree.  In our last game, I was put in a position to remove our best player about two minutes before first pitch.  He definitely could have helped us win.  There was a bigger message that he needed to understand.  It was made clear to him that he would not be entered back into our lineup until he showed that he did understand even if that meant the rest of the season and even if that meant we lose every game along the way.

cabbagedad posted:

StrainedOblique posted:

... Remember , HS Coaches play the kids that can help them win. Period. ..

A bad student, bad attitude jerk that touches 88-90 mph will pitch at the HS level regardless of the coaches personal opinion of him. Don't forget that.

....

I am almost always in agreement with Strained and his perspective.  However, as it applies to this particular OP, I have to disagree.  In our last game, I was put in a position to remove our best player about two minutes before first pitch.  He definitely could have helped us win.  There was a bigger message that he needed to understand.  It was made clear to him that he would not be entered back into our lineup until he showed that he did understand even if that meant the rest of the season and even if that meant we lose every game along the way.

You're correct cabbagedad. A good coach that's trying to develop not only a baseball player , but a responsible young man is going to take exception to that rule. Regardless of a players on field talent.

My comment was intended to illustrate a broader point about playing time . And I didn't include or factor in the demands of a High character Coach.

My son was a Top player in HS at a infamous West Coast program w/ a legendary coach. This coach was concerned about developing young men. And in the process Developed a USA Today HS baseball top 25 program

Son, wanted to go to Coachella music festival senior year ( During Season) . He asked the coach if he could miss a Saturday non-league game. Coach said ' Sure if that's what you want to do.

Son played Friday game . Left afterwards for festival missed Saturday , returned from Coachella and following Wed game was BENCHED.

When son asked coach about it , he said ' Coach I talked to you about going and missing a game , why did you bench me ?"  Coach said " That is correct. You did talk talk to me. And you asked me about missing the game and outlined your whole plan and I told you , You can do whatever you want to do. But you never asked my permission . You just dictated to me what your intention was , Without any solicitation of my opinion or how your actions would effect the team.....So, you'll sit and think about all that today"

cabbagedad posted:

StrainedOblique posted:

... Remember , HS Coaches play the kids that can help them win. Period. ..

A bad student, bad attitude jerk that touches 88-90 mph will pitch at the HS level regardless of the coaches personal opinion of him. Don't forget that.

....

I am almost always in agreement with Strained and his perspective.  However, as it applies to this particular OP, I have to disagree.  In our last game, I was put in a position to remove our best player about two minutes before first pitch.  He definitely could have helped us win.  There was a bigger message that he needed to understand.  It was made clear to him that he would not be entered back into our lineup until he showed that he did understand even if that meant the rest of the season and even if that meant we lose every game along the way.

Our HS team's best player(D1 SS, yada, yada) decided to not leg out a ground ball early in the 1st inning of a game. Coach yanked him.

  That's what you call sending a message that was heard up and down the dugout, not just by the player in question.

BBDAD98.  I'll just say this out loud.  Throwing velo 76 mph is not quite starting varsity CF in many high schools.  Sounds like he's getting to hit, so that's a plus -- hitting is the fun part.   

Thanks guys I will try to clear things up. My son is 14 in the 9th grade playing JV and yes he starts most games but not all games. I do have an extensive stat history from game changer because all of his teams have used that app. The numbers in my comments were not really to brag or compare but only to show that my son is not just gifted or talented he is a hard worker and he rises to the top of the skill level he plays with. If he sees someone working hard, hitting hard, running fast or whatever he sets out to be that good and better. Thats his thing, I don't have to push him in practicing or working hard, that is fun to him. He likes chasing after and passing others, but he is still tired of after he does good he gets sat or has to start at the bottom. He is small but not the smallest by a few other guys, the smallest gets to play and not produce. Its not about moving to Varsity either, he knows he wouldn't play, they don't let him hit the field in JV. Just saying that some guys moved up and play now. We even had a PO prove himself with a few at bats and now he bats 4th or 5th and now plays outfield when not pitching. He is not very good at RF, but anyway. I am happy for him he hits well. When will my son prove he can play the field. To answer the other remarks. He has approached the coach. The coach told him he didnt like him because of his attitude last year. More on that later. In the same conversation he told him that this year his attitude was good and he could tell he was working hard and hustling, and would give him a chance to take someones position on the field. Never happened by the way. Last year my son was the backup catcher for a few games. He could not throw anyone out like he had been in travel ball so he asked the coach he the pitchers could deliver the pitch faster (not such a slow high leg lift) coach just looked at him. Later on more than one occasions he would be batting and the runner would not steal when given the sign so he would take a first pitch strike for no reason. So he asked the coach to talk to them. Coach did nothing. My son was on first and got the steal sign( he steals a lot of bases 5 last night) the batter hits the ball foul or line drives into a dp. My son was mad. Coach does nothing. My son was catching, throws down to 2nd no one was there, he yells at the middle guys to talk and get it together. Coach did not approve and said it was his job to do the coaching. This coach is 2 years out of HS if that matters to anyone. So the coach does not like him. My son was very angry from that game forward. He lets it go now and says nothing until summer ball. At the end of last year at his review he has told about his attitude and poor fielding. What fielding he hardly play the field ever. He was told he had the most potential as a hitter on the whole team. They told him to hit the gym. That summer he did. He asked about pitching and they responded they didn't know he pitched. Are you kidding me they wrote notes about him and used the radar gun. If they don't like his pitching fine, but don't lie or be incompetent enough to not know someone pitches please. They struggled to have enough pitchers all year with the new pitch count rule. Input? Am I crazy?

My son takes honors classes and makes AB honor roll and is never in trouble at school. 90 percent of his team is bear crawling after practice for grades or behavior. I ask him all the time how he got done so fast and he says he is not introuble like the rest of them.

BBDAD98 - from what you wrote, it sounds like your kid has attitude issues and needs to learn to keep his mouth shut, especially for a Freshman playing JV.  Probably just maturity issues that he'll grow out of, but coaches these days have to deal with tons of players with entitlement issues and your son is not doing himself any favors by acting like that.

It sounds like your kid likes the game and wants to succeed. That is good because it takes a lot of time, work, bp, infield, bullpens, lifting, plyos, speedwork... etc  to get to be a good HS player. Right now the numbers you posted are decent for his age but not a definite starter on the Varsity level. My opinion would be to put the coaches decisions out of his mind right now and just work on getting better. Work hard on baseball everything. Use his opportunities to show he is making progress. If he is not progressing like he thinks he should reassess how he is doing it and keep working hard. He is going to have to get to a higher level to be a definite Varsity player. Until he gets to that level you are going to drive yourself crazy having the my kid is better he should have this or that mindset.

Guys i am not suggesting he could start or deserves Varsity. His fielding and batting suffer at the HS practice. No fielding hurts and in BP he comes home with bad habits and we go to his club cage and fix them. He had an altitude even though he was correct. He no longer says anything. Last year he was told to not cheer or chant, so he just high fives now. Thanks

At the beginning of each year the coach tells everyone if you want to play you must hit. Don't come asking for playing time, just hit. So if your hitting what next?

Ok...

Coaches will side with the coaches, parents who are just parents and never really played the game will defend their kids til the day is long. Not one person has seen your kid play so its all relative. Let me tell you what is going on at our school. Private, Catholic with great athletes. Up until last year, never missed D1 playoffs.

Our coach is in his second year. Got his position after two years of being the pitching coach under the former coach who, by all means, was a baseball guy. Not a people person but knew baseball. College coaching technique and his players got to college and played right away. Because he was tough and his baseball technique did not translate to all players, a few parents were miffed. Guess who became buddies with those folks?  The assistants.  Yup, the pitching coach who is now the head coach.  Guess who started feeding the AD info about the head coach and all the parents complaints without naming parents names and adding his personal views on the program? You got it. Flash to two years later and one mistake by the Head Coach with a Phys Ed class (unrelated to baseball) and who is terminated? You guessed it, the head baseball coach. Who is hired? Coach Judas himself.

Coach Judas steps in and softens up the program just the like parents want. We have 5 D1 commits and several kids getting ready to commit. First thing out of his mouth after cuts were made? "Starting today, if you are part of this program, there will be no more outside lessons, nor more club/travel ball and all interaction with colleges will now go through my office!"  My son, the future Marc Cuban, and definitely NOT a pitcher and has never worked with this guy, is the first one to respond, "Well I am getting ready to commit in a few weeks, so I would think that I, and others in the same boat are exempt from that plan? And, I have plans to go to Jupiter with my Club team in October because as a 4-year player, that is the ultimate honor by the organization I am with." Judas looked at him with the most evil eyes and said, "We'll see about that." There was never a problem to my knowledge from then on. They got along fine. Son has been a leader as a Junior and the team has been fun.

The season started off well. Through 8 games, the team was 6-2 and 2-0 in league and going into the second game of a double-header on a Saturday. My son was hitting .525 and had 3 doubles and 2 triples on the season. The coach pulled my son over prior to game 2 and said, "I am going to sit you and play Jack the second game. Give you some rest. It will boost Jack's confidence for later just in case we need him down the road." My son thought that was a great idea. Because he loved his teammate he said, "100% behind that, Coach!"

Four games later my son has yet to see the field since that Saturday. The team is 0 and 4. They have scored 3 runs in 4 games and Jack has started every game since. Jack has 12 at bats. 10 Ks. He is hitting .000. A year ago my son would have been losing his mind, paranoid, biting his nails and sitting at the coach's door the next morning at 6:00 am. Now he doesn't see things that way anymore. You might say, "Sure, he is getting ready to commit so he is fine". The commitment thing didn't happen until he went through this change over last summer after being diagnosed with a learning disorder called APD.  But that is besides the point. My point is that he realized that things are just out of your control when someone in control is taking away something with no explanation. The way he looks at it is, "Man, I want to win, I see my boys hurting, Jack is struggling, and what is Coach trying to teach me/us here?"  Well, he says it like a teenager would say it and I don't help the matter by calling the coach an <insert expletive> moron but we just laugh. But, I would recommend for all baseball players to look into a technique called "mindfullness" as way relax prior to games and after (also for tests and relaxation in general). UCLA has implemented this in their program and they are moving up the D1 ranks slowly but surely this year! Schools across the country as well as business are adopting it.

I have read some of the great responses on here written by coaches. Man do I wish I could print them all out, take them and go pick a team right now. But there are a lot of former pro and collegiate ball players that have convinced themselves they are good coaches that do a terrible job at the high school level. Coaching teenagers is tough. Getting their respect takes time and you can lose it in an instant. It requires the ability to be cool and tough but subtle enough that the young men are still the focus, not the coach. In the case of my son's coach, there really isn't much hope. My wife and I used to enjoy going to his games to relax after a long day at work. My son has asked us to enjoy ourselves somewhere else. He said that other parents aren't coming anymore and he doesn't want us to be there alone. He will tell us when it was fun again. He thinks the coach will have to change sooner or later.

Today my son plays the #1 team in the nation. He wasn't worried about winning, losing or even playing. He was just stoked to be going to their stadium for one last game. As he was was leaving, he said" Dad, I wont forget to say hi to Mr. XX (father from the opposing team) he misses seeing you, you know!". I said, "He enjoys seeing you better. If you have time after the game, please get photos of you and your friends on the other team. We may not see them for a while." It reminded me that just because a bad coach, that no one else knows anything about, can bench for a game or two, he can never take the years of memories, fun times and friendships you have made along the way.  Just stay positive, work hard, good things will happen.  There is plenty of time.

Oh my!  Please reflect on how you might be influencing your son's behavior.  Be thankful he can hit so well.  At this point, that is his saving grace.  The best thing for both of you at this point is to erase all opinions about what anyone else is doing on or off the field.  Zero judgement of decisions, quality of play, quality of student, or quality of coach.  Realize you can only control what you can control.  Your effort and your attitude.  Focus 100% on your attitude and your effort AND do not concern yourself about anyone else.  

Do not talk to other parents about your opinion.  Do not talk to your son about your opinion of other players or coaches.  Only provide support and direction for attitude and effort.  

BBDAD98 posted:

Thanks guys I will try to clear things up. My son is 14 in the 9th grade playing JV and yes he starts most games but not all games. I do have an extensive stat history from game changer because all of his teams have used that app. The numbers in my comments were not really to brag or compare but only to show that my son is not just gifted or talented he is a hard worker and he rises to the top of the skill level he plays with. If he sees someone working hard, hitting hard, running fast or whatever he sets out to be that good and better. Thats his thing, I don't have to push him in practicing or working hard, that is fun to him. He likes chasing after and passing others, but he is still tired of after he does good he gets sat or has to start at the bottom.

OK, yes, you have cleared some things up and it sounds like your son has many admirable attributes.  And he also knows what the issues are as we suspected.  So, this could be an easier problem to solve.  He needs to realize that there will always be hurdles and obstacles.  It isn't always going to be an exact "OK, I'm doing better at this, now i should get everything I think I have coming to me".  There are lots of moving pieces.  The coach has 16 or however many other players hopefully trying to make the same necessary improvements and trying to earn the same additional playing time.  Also, this is JV, there are development elements involved.  Best players are going to sit sometimes or play out of position so that others can get their shot.  Coaches are not going to see each player through the rose colored glasses we parents see our own kids with.  He has to put in the work to be in position to take advantage of the opportunity when it presents itself, not when he thinks he deserves it.

He is small but not the smallest by a few other guys, the smallest gets to play and not produce. Its not about moving to Varsity either, he knows he wouldn't play, they don't let him hit the field in JV. Just saying that some guys moved up and play now. We even had a PO prove himself with a few at bats and now he bats 4th or 5th and now plays outfield when not pitching. He is not very good at RF, but anyway. I am happy for him he hits well. When will my son prove he can play the field.

The comparisons are OK to use as general reference but again, there are many moving parts that you as the parent will never fully see.  Again, his goal should be to work to the point of excelling and leaving no doubt.  It sounds like part of his "attitude problem" is that he is doing those comparisons and being disgruntled because those decisions aren't going his way.  Again, don't be the enabler to this mentality.  

To answer the other remarks. He has approached the coach. The coach told him he didnt like him because of his attitude last year. More on that later. In the same conversation he told him that this year his attitude was good and he could tell he was working hard and hustling, and would give him a chance to take someones position on the field. Never happened by the way.

Again, don't expect things to happen in perfect order... lots of other moving parts and other players hopefully striving for the same opportunity.  And the "take someones position" means that the someone would have to clearly demonstrate that they are willing to give that position up.

Last year my son was the backup catcher for a few games. He could not throw anyone out like he had been in travel ball so he asked the coach he the pitchers could deliver the pitch faster (not such a slow high leg lift) coach just looked at him. Later on more than one occasions he would be batting and the runner would not steal when given the sign so he would take a first pitch strike for no reason. So he asked the coach to talk to them. Coach did nothing. My son was on first and got the steal sign( he steals a lot of bases 5 last night) the batter hits the ball foul or line drives into a dp. My son was mad. Coach does nothing. My son was catching, throws down to 2nd no one was there, he yells at the middle guys to talk and get it together. Coach did not approve and said it was his job to do the coaching. This coach is 2 years out of HS if that matters to anyone. So the coach does not like him. My son was very angry from that game forward.

Look, sure it can be a factor that the coach is 2 years out of HS.  But it is about perspective and expectations.  A coach that played V in HS and is two years beyond will certainly have some limitations but will also certainly know more than a 14 y.o. kid in JV in most areas.  Son should be latching on to all the positives this coach brings.  Every coach will have positives and negatives.  Which does son fixate on and why?  There are also a lot of advantages to having a young guy and it is not uncommon at sub-varsity levels.  To be honest, I wouldn't be happy with your kid either.  It's great that he recognizes game situations and wishes for the team to improve and do the right thing.  But, in some of those situations, he is also to blame (76 mph tops throwdown isn't helping the pitcher any so he should work on improving himself).  In other situations, it probably isn't his place to say and/or the coach is already very aware.  In other situations, there may be other reasons.  For example, while I am very aware that most programs have their hitters sacrifice themselves on a steal, we do not do that in our program.  We let our hitters hit when we steal... so nothing for the runner to be mad at if there is a double play or foul ball.  Furthermore, if he is giving himself up the traditional way, he should be swinging late at that pitch to protect the runner, not taking it.  And if he is using that as his excuse for what happens in his AB after that, I am all over him.  All this telling the coach to have the other players do better... NOOOOO!!!  SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGE YOUR TEAMMATES.  DON'T THROW THEM UNDER THE BUS !!!!  Then, when your kid subsequently shows he is angry at his teammates and his coach while playing, that is a big attitude issue, no matter how warranted the reason.

He lets it go now and says nothing until summer ball. At the end of last year at his review he has told about his attitude and poor fielding. What fielding he hardly play the field ever.

Are you telling me he doesn't get ample defensive reps in practice?  This is where many of the position decisions are made.  Do you see all these practice reps that the coach/es see?  (I hope not)

He was told he had the most potential as a hitter on the whole team. They told him to hit the gym. That summer he did. He asked about pitching and they responded they didn't know he pitched. Are you kidding me they wrote notes about him and used the radar gun. If they don't like his pitching fine, but don't lie or be incompetent enough to not know someone pitches please.

By the time they reach HS, most kids are or have been pitchers.  There is nothing you have described that would have him standing out significantly from others to make the coaches specifically recall him as a pitcher even if they gunned him.  We time all of our runners on occasion.  I can identify those that stood out either good or bad but probably won't recall much about those in the middle.  It sounds like more and more opportunities are coming his way but both you and him are taking a skeptical, negative perspective, which is exactly what coaches don't like.

Input? Am I crazy?

Beyond that, no, you are not crazy.  You and your son are dealing with the typical issues that come up as kids start to head further into becoming young adults.  None of us handle it perfectly.  Much of the feedback you will get here is an effort to help others avoid the same mistakes we made before you.

Attitude problems?  Yes.

"my son was the backup catcher .... He could not throw anyone out .... so he asked the coach if the pitchers could deliver the pitch faster...."

"on more than one occasions he would be batting and the runner would not steal when given the sign so he would take a first pitch strike for no reason. So he asked the coach to talk to them. "

"My son was on first and got the steal sign... the batter hits the ball foul or line drives into a dp. My son was mad. "

"My son was catching, throws down to 2nd no one was there, he yells at the middle guys to talk and get it together." 

"My son was very angry from that game forward."