I wish the coach had told my son what to work on to get more playing time. I wish he had told me when I met with him last year. He told me “he needs to be more confident”. I told him “ I can’t teach him confidence”. To that he replied, “well if you work with him and he gets better, he will be more confident”. This coach has had my son since 7th grade. I want to be an optimist and hope that he is seeing how we handle things, and there is no bad intentions on his part. I suppose I am playing devils advocate. But little things in such a short period of time add up in my head: the running home on a fly ball thing, benching him for having his hand in his pocket, and even yesterday, when my son grounded out with men on 2nd and 3rd, and I shook my head in disappointment. As the coach walked to the dugout I could see an ear to ear smile on his face. He was looking straight in my direction. Maybe this is all just conspiracy theories, I really hope so. Again, this will remain anonymous, no complaints directly to anyone affiliated with my son’s school, and I’ll see how it plays out.
You will remain anonymous?
“Hey coach! Guess what KT’s father said about you on a baseball discussion board!”
One thing a lot of posters on this board have advised their sons about how they carry themselves is ... Always act as if someone is watching. Because you never know.
I just want to say one thing: I have seen a whole lot of parents of a whole lot of players on a whole lot of teams who would give up a lot to see their sons get one AB per game. That’s not a lot, but it’s much more than most subs get, and it’s enough of an opportunity to create an impression and even an impact.
That’s what you should emphasize to your son, IMO.
Most of the time, the players who don't play as much simply don't work as hard as the starters. I will allow that, especially as the funnel narrows at the higher levels, everybody works hard and there may be different criteria including talent or giving opportunities to an upperclassman on a college team over a freshman etc...
Anyways, this is a JV team. You mean to tell me if this kid took 50 Grounders a day and an extra hour of BP a day, away from team practice, and lifted weights 4-5 days a week and worked on sprinting every other day, and did band work & long toss etc, that he couldn't take a spot in the JV starting lineup?!?!? 99 times out of 100, the reality is that the kid doesn't really care enough to work that hard & especially doesn't love the game enough to put that much time in it. And there's nothing wrong with that, really
But the disconnect happens when the parents think the kid is entitled to playing time. He isn't.
Valid points guys, I won’t disagree. I’d love to know how many kids are working out 4-5 times a week, practicing, staying after for extra grounders and sprints, and also getting home to do their homework and keeping up good grades. Feel free to chime in if your son is doing that. If so, that’s awesome and I applaud him sincerely. While I can’t attest to other kids, I know my son works hard. He was lifting in the offseason, and gets private lessons as well as travel ball clinics. We tried the after practice workouts last year. He did extra bp, and fly balls after practice. It didn’t translate to more playing time, but rather almost burned him out. I appreciate all of the comments guys, it’s hard for you all to get a good grasp of the situation from one point of view. I hope my tune changes as we get deeper into the season.
KTCOTB posted:Valid points guys, I won’t disagree. I’d love to know how many kids are working out 4-5 times a week, practicing, staying after for extra grounders and sprints, and also getting home to do their homework and keeping up good grades. Feel free to chime in if your son is doing that. If so, that’s awesome and I applaud him sincerely. While I can’t attest to other kids, I know my son works hard. He was lifting in the offseason, and gets private lessons as well as travel ball clinics. We tried the after practice workouts last year. He did extra bp, and fly balls after practice. It didn’t translate to more playing time, but rather almost burned him out. I appreciate all of the comments guys, it’s hard for you all to get a good grasp of the situation from one point of view. I hope my tune changes as we get deeper into the season.
By the time my kids got to high school they decided they wanted to play college baseball/softball. They knew the commitment was a year round, at least five days per week effort of improving skills and physical development. They also played other high school sports. One graduated in the top 10% of the class. The other in the top 3%.
When they got to college baseball/softball they were very aware they had two jobs. Time management and sacrifice would be required. Both were STEM majors in college. One had two minors.
My daughter attended an elite law school. She said after what she put herself through in high school and college law school was easy. As a lawyer my daughter works her tail off. Dinner is just a break in the day. But she said she’s been working her tail off to be the best for so long it seems normal.
My kids decided early what they wanted, knew it wouldn’t be easy, committed and followed through. This story isn’t that special except to me as it’s my kids. There are plenty of other posters on this site with kids with the same story.
KTCOTB,
Yeah, thanks for coming back around with this. I think many parents agonize a bit when trying to figure out how to "help" our kids with these situations. And, sometimes, we can drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out all the surrounding circumstances that may contribute to the opportunities our kids get or don't get.
Question for you - you said your son made the team with the understanding that he would get minimal playing time. What was the rationale behind that? Was it just where he seemed to fall on the depth chart at the time when the teams were selected? If so, it would certainly not be out of the ordinary for "player #12", for example, to be slated for 1-2 innings and 1 AB per game as the goal and adjust situationally. That is similar to what we tried to do with our JV guys who were not currently seen as one of the "best 9" at a given time...
You were an athlete at at least a fairly high level, you acknowledge your son hasn't received a lot of playing time for a few years. You acknowledge he has a lack of confidence and said he gets more playing time in football. You wrote the letter but apologized immediately afterward and assured the coach you would not be in the way going forward (therefore, it really shouldn't be that big of a deal by now, IMO). Like ATLNON, I read your scenarios where you feel your son is being slighted due to "the letter" and, from a distance anyway, I'm just not convinced there is anything there. I could certainly be wrong and will be interested to hear how things evolve. Meanwhile, I would just continue having your son focus on working hard and working his way up the ladder. You know the routine. Control what you can control. Outwork and outhustle the other guy. When you, as a former athlete, can see clearly that his skill set has surpassed the rest of the group on a consistent basis, and he is still getting left out, then it may be time to figure out alternative actions. But, meanwhile, try not to look for things to read into.
Thanks again guys for all of your replies. I appreciate you taking the time to give your feedback. Gives me a better perspective on things.
I don't think the coach hates your son as much as you are making him out to. Truthfully it seems like you don't like the coach and are using it to defend your son. I think bringing his scrimmage record into question supports that theory.
Either way, the best thing you can do is work with your son and make him better. If extra reps, cage time, and lifting is going to make him burnt out, he was never going to last anyway.
The best thing your son can do is go up to the coach and say - Hey I'm not playing, I don't like sitting and don't want to be in the same situation moving forward. Where do I need to improve the most, what should I be working on to get better and how can I help contribute now?
He might tell you his role is to pinch run, he might say he can contribute by chasing foul balls and filling up water bottles. You might not like the answer, but what you do with that information is up to you guys. It should be an honest and frank conversation. And if it is the honest answer. Do it. Throw harder, more consistent at the plate, better footwork. Don't question it, don't argue it, don't bring it up again. Just do it. If it improves this season maybe he gets more playing time. If not he is only a freshman and has a year to fix the problems.
This is a conversation your son needs to have. The only dialogue you should have with the coach moving forward is small talk in passing and any injury problems.
PABaseball posted:I don't think the coach hates your son as much as you are making him out to. Truthfully it seems like you don't like the coach and are using it to defend your son. I think bringing his scrimmage record into question supports that theory.
Either way, the best thing you can do is work with your son and make him better. If extra reps, cage time, and lifting is going to make him burnt out, he was never going to last anyway.
The best thing your son can do is go up to the coach and say - Hey I'm not playing, I don't like sitting and don't want to be in the same situation moving forward. Where do I need to improve the most, what should I be working on to get better and how can I help contribute now?
He might tell you his role is to pinch run, he might say he can contribute by chasing foul balls and filling up water bottles. You might not like the answer, but what you do with that information is up to you guys. It should be an honest and frank conversation. And if it is the honest answer. Do it. Throw harder, more consistent at the plate, better footwork. Don't question it, don't argue it, don't bring it up again. Just do it. If it improves this season maybe he gets more playing time. If not he is only a freshman and has a year to fix the problems.
This is a conversation your son needs to have. The only dialogue you should have with the coach moving forward is small talk in passing and any injury problems.
In the word of Elanor Roosevelt " You wouldn't worry what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do"
I highly doubt your son is being punished for your interactions with the coach.
My MO through my son's HS/Travel baseball career was to simply thank them at the beginning and end of each season for their efforts. That was the extent of my communication. There was often much more i wanted to say, but I believed part of my son's baseball experience was to learn how to deal with his "boss"...........That is all.
CaCO3Girl posted:Chico Escuela posted:I don't think anybody has pitching-related injuries completely figured out, but I do think ASMI and Dr. Andrews are as good anybody (and better than most). And they definitely say sliders aren't for younger kids:
http://www.andrewsinstitute.co...Prevention/Baseball/
http://m.mlb.com/pitchsmart/risk-factors/
Do folks here have a different take?
My son was taught to throw a curve, due to his arm slot it became a slider.
As to different takes, yup.
https://mobile.nytimes.com/201...g-pitching-arms.html
http://amp.si.com/edge/2016/06...-baseball-prevention
Also, Dr. Andrews says don’t throw until you can shave. My son was shaving by then, so it’s in line with Dr. Andrews thinking as well.
My son, too. He tried to throw a curve, but instead of the big, looping curve that most kids have it was a tight little break, with the dot.
Oh, and the thinking has changed on what damages arms. Used to be that breaking pitches were blamed. Now it's velo, bad mechanics, and lack of arm rest.
Anyway, back to evil HS coaches.
57special posted:...Anyway, back to evil HS coaches.
… yeah, those b@stards!! 
KTCOTB, I apologize. I read it to say that the coach sent him home on the tag and he went halfway and thought he would get thrown out so he came back. If the coach apologized, that is a big thing. We as adults don't rarely do that to teenagers. I still hold to the hand in the pocket thing but I did it to teach him a lesson and make a point to my team. If we are out there, no matter how cold or rainy or hot, we must be ready to play or someone can take your spot who is. never did it to show up that kid just to help him understand. The smile may have been anything or it could have been that is why he is not playing more because he couldn't get the hit when he needed to. But you also have to know it may have been something totally different.
Yes, there are kids who do all the things above and beyond. My son hits almost every day by himself off the tee and hits on the field 3-4 days a week at night after practice. He works out on his own and does his own stuff after practice. Always has but it takes a lot of determination and drive because he wants baseball to be his future. Not for everyone.
But the same way some of you talk about grades are the driving force for your kid, baseball is the driving force for my kid. He spends time with his coaches when he doesn't have to during the summer and even of other teams to pick their brains. He talked for 30 minutes with the opposing coach, pro coach/scout, at Jupiter to ask why he did certain things. His goal is to be a college or pro coach after baseball is done so baseball is his future.
KTCOTB posted:Valid points guys, I won’t disagree. I’d love to know how many kids are working out 4-5 times a week, practicing, staying after for extra grounders and sprints, and also getting home to do their homework and keeping up good grades. Feel free to chime in if your son is doing that. If so, that’s awesome and I applaud him sincerely. While I can’t attest to other kids, I know my son works hard. He was lifting in the offseason, and gets private lessons as well as travel ball clinics. We tried the after practice workouts last year. He did extra bp, and fly balls after practice. It didn’t translate to more playing time, but rather almost burned him out. I appreciate all of the comments guys, it’s hard for you all to get a good grasp of the situation from one point of view. I hope my tune changes as we get deeper into the season.
I have tried to stay out of this. I can't! First, I doubt that the coach gives you the time of day and cares at all about that contact you had with him. If so, he has put you in one category but, I'd believe that your son has not been punished for the sins of the parent. Please forgive me but you are displaying incredible paranoia and I'd suggest that this is influencing your son. Also, it appears to me that you are looking for excuses as to why your son is losing interest in games and not reasons that are pulling him away from the game. Therefore, blame the coach. In fact, set it up so that you have that way out when discussing your son and baseball by saying that your son had an evil coach who punished your child for what you did.
You asked about the number of kids out there doing extra. I'd suggest that there are thousands. My kid did all of that and more and was also in every AP class she could take. In saying this, she didn't have to be forced to do it and truly loved doing it. In fact, she played both softball and golf for me. She would leave a varsity golf match and my wife would drive her to her TB games or practices. She was not special. Look, sit down with your son. Have a discussion with him and ask him if he has lost his love for the game and if he really wants to stop playing. In reading through some of your posts, I believe he has but might now want to quit due to wanting to please you. If he wants to keep playing, let him know you support him and ask him to be honest about his efforts when compared to his teammates. The coach can not be a factor here as a scapegoat for all of your son's ills. JMHO!
There are more factors at play, yes. And you are probably right- my son does not love baseball anymore. Ask yourself this though, if you continuously felt beat down doing something that you enjoyed, would you still enjoy it? Most people would probably say no. When something enjoyable becomes miserable and pointless, it’s hard to stay engaged. Still he plays on- going to practices, lessons, clinics. Why? Because while it is not the sport he once loved, it is still worth it to play. The alternative is to play video games, and hang out with kids who vape. No thanks. There are kids more talented and less talented than my son getting plenty of playing time. He sees that. And when the coach tells him “good contact” on a check swing weak groundout to 1st, it actually hurts his feelings, because he knows that the coach thinks he is garbage. His words, not mine. Maybe paranoia, but maybe there is something there too. Whatever happens, he is not a quitter, and I will not encourage him to quit, given the alternatives.
KTCOTB posted:Valid points guys, I won’t disagree. I’d love to know how many kids are working out 4-5 times a week, practicing, staying after for extra grounders and sprints, and also getting home to do their homework and keeping up good grades. Feel free to chime in if your son is doing that. If so, that’s awesome and I applaud him sincerely. While I can’t attest to other kids, I know my son works hard. He was lifting in the offseason, and gets private lessons as well as travel ball clinics. We tried the after practice workouts last year. He did extra bp, and fly balls after practice. It didn’t translate to more playing time, but rather almost burned him out. I appreciate all of the comments guys, it’s hard for you all to get a good grasp of the situation from one point of view. I hope my tune changes as we get deeper into the season.
Yes, my kid did this kind of extra “work”. Also, it was a 45-60+ min drive each way. He often did his homework in the car while we were driving him there. I will say tho that not many other freshman/JV/Varsity kids in the program did this. Son had that D1 goal. Not every HS baseball player has aspirations of playing past high school.
What I see unfolding I’ve seen many times before in sports and work. A person believes they’ve been wronged because they put in the effort. They don’t grasp how many others are putting in the EFFORT. The extra EFFORT often involves sacrifices others aren’t willing to make. Then, the others declare it’s unfair when they don’t get ahead.
There is no mystery to playing time. There are no grudges against parents or players. High school coaches play the kids that help them WIN games. Period. Now, can a player piss off a coach ? sure. But a coach doesn't hold on to that too long. Maybe a few days. But once again the bottom line is they play the kids that help them WIN. It's the same in college.
If a kid is unhappy about playing time he needs to go to the coach ( never the parent ) and ask him a simple question ' What do I have to do to get into the line up? ' At that point most coaches will tell them exactly what they need to do. And more times than not it's generally the same answer. If they're a position player , it's going to be ' You need to hit the ball' and if they're a pitcher its gonna be ' You need to get outs'
If your son is a position player and he doesn't hit, he will sit. If your son is a pitcher and he doesn't get outs or throw strikes he will not get innings. It's that simple.
The good news is that if a player does in fact speak to the coach then goes off and improves his swing w/ a private hitting instructor or a pitcher develops a better delivery or a new pitch via a private pitching coach , they have every right to go to the coach later and say ' Coach can you watch my BP I've figured some stuff out" or " Coach can you come watch my pen, I figured a couple of things out'
Lastly , Parents should NEVER talk about playing time with the Coach. There are only really 3 times a parent should speak to a coach
1) Fundraising
2) Player Health / Injury/ Arm care ( pitcher )
3) Academic issues
Everything else that happens on the baseball field that doesn't involve the aforementioned is none of your business
Typical advice above and good, but it does not fit everyone's situation. My sons whole high school team was told if you want to play you have to hit. He has played 3 years now of his five and has lead his team in hits avg and other offensive stats every year. He was runner up for mvp on the freshman team, mvp on jv and in the running again for mvp this year on jv. He has never been asked to move up a level during a season while many others have and were later dropped back down for poor play. His first year coach told him the second year that he did not like him, and from the looks of it, I think he still feels the same way. My son was not put on Varsity at the beginning of this year, but he has been killing it on JV batting clean up and playing the first 3 innings in rf. He is always the first to get rotated out of the lineup while he is the most experience at the jv level on the team. Others play the entire time and never sit. I mean never, even when we are winning by 18 or if the player is 0 for 7 with 5 k's in a row, he will still play cf and leadoff every time and be asked to move up to Varsity as a freshman batting .287 on the jv team. We have 3 players batting close to .500 now with my son leading the way. This coaching staff has lost a few good players because they were treated the same bad way, while they out played most of the others. My son and one other right now are the last ones I see getting strange treatment while doing great. I think they both will stick it out though. The coach has said that he has already made up his mind for the varsity roster going in to region play and playoffs, but this week he will pick a few to dress out and practice with varsity. I don't think my son will be picked again. Coaches don't always pick the best to win. You can tell by the lineup and stats. Coaches have also done things to players during a game to make them look bad. Tie game last inning no outs, fastest runner on 1st has the most steals on the team 21. The catcher has thrown no one out all day, he doesn't have the arm. Man on first never gets the steal sign after 5 pitches he gets hit and run. Batter hits into double play. Next batter gets out game over. Was the coach dumb, didn't want to win, or holding a grudge against my son. This was the last game of the season against our tuffest opponent. My son longs for summer ball, real baseball he says. Playing for real coaches and facing competitive pitchers.
Perception is a powerful force.
I once had a team that was not the most talented kids but ones who love to play. Two times we were winning by a run with two outs in the bottom of the 7th against highly ranked teams. Being a team that, at the time lost more than we won, we were so pumped to be in that situation. Other teams came over to the field and watch. Both times the same player missed a ground ball between his legs and we lost. I'm not one who believes that a game is lost on one play, but my "perception" of that player was he can't handle pressure.
In high school I had a friend who was a little cocky and lazy. Coaches were always on his but. One day he told me that he was getting tired of how the coaches acted towards him. I had a heart to heart talk with him. Told him he the coaches perception of him was a lazy, cocky average player. Basically told him he needed to work harder in practice and shut his mouth. He listened, it took awhile but the coaches did change the way they acted towards him. He changed their perception of him.
We grew tired of the games my son's old coach played. He would say he loved dual sport athletes but would penalize my son for missing out of season baseball practice for in season swim practice. I talked to the coach and made sure we were on the same page in regard to practices. Then he would get on to my son for missing baseball practice because he had swim.
Also when practices did start they would get the players out of the one hour study hall after about 15 minutes and they would practice until 730 to 8 pm. So how do you have time to work getting better outside of practice. Oh, no food until he got home after 8pm. Then practice on Saturday from 10am until just after dark with a short junk food run for lunch.
Son started hating to go to practice. We pulled him. He did not have any say. His grades were slipping and things he did well in school started to suffer. He is still working to bring up one of his grades that took the biggest hit. Sometimes it just ain't worth it. He will get farther with great grades than he will playing baseball.
My son is in a similar boat but he attends a stem program at a different campus and he is the only baseball player that does. "He is one of those kids" they say. He is also one of the few travel ball players and they all get a hard time from the coach. The coach says in a speech that hey are student athletes and the student part comes first, however my son has been late to practice because of the stem program and he penalized for it. My son even let the coach know beforehand that the bus was going to be late because they were at a college all day and behind a traffic accident on the way home. Coach doesn't understand that my son has more homework than the rest of the team either. We had a conference with his teachers because his high grades started to slip a few points, they thought that baseball was taking up too much of his time. To be fair stem and baseball take all of his time.
BBDAD98,
I've been in your shoes twice. My advice would be to continue to focus on academics and take the hit from the high school coach for the Spring then re-focus on travel baseball in the summer when he presumably is not burning the candle on both ends. If your son is fortunate to play in college, he may be possibly dealing with the same challenges on a larger scale, but possibly with a program and a coach that you've selected.
JMO. Good luck.
StrainedOblique posted:There is no mystery to playing time. There are no grudges against parents or players. High school coaches play the kids that help them WIN games. Period. Now, can a player piss off a coach ? sure. But a coach doesn't hold on to that too long. Maybe a few days. But once again the bottom line is they play the kids that help them WIN. It's the same in college.
If a kid is unhappy about playing time he needs to go to the coach ( never the parent ) and ask him a simple question ' What do I have to do to get into the line up? ' At that point most coaches will tell them exactly what they need to do. And more times than not it's generally the same answer. If they're a position player , it's going to be ' You need to hit the ball' and if they're a pitcher its gonna be ' You need to get outs'
If your son is a position player and he doesn't hit, he will sit. If your son is a pitcher and he doesn't get outs or throw strikes he will not get innings. It's that simple.
The good news is that if a player does in fact speak to the coach then goes off and improves his swing w/ a private hitting instructor or a pitcher develops a better delivery or a new pitch via a private pitching coach , they have every right to go to the coach later and say ' Coach can you watch my BP I've figured some stuff out" or " Coach can you come watch my pen, I figured a couple of things out'
Lastly , Parents should NEVER talk about playing time with the Coach. There are only really 3 times a parent should speak to a coach
1) Fundraising
2) Player Health / Injury/ Arm care ( pitcher )
3) Academic issues
Everything else that happens on the baseball field that doesn't involve the aforementioned is none of your business
IMO you have identified a number of things that are wrong with most HS baseball programs. Not sure that was your intention but nonetheless.....
First of all, grudges ARE held against certain players & parents. To say that they aren't is either naïve or disingenuous.
My contention is that part of the job of being a HS baseball coach is to teach your kids how to be better baseball players. A HS baseball coach should be knowledgeable enough about the game he is coaching to help a kid improve his hitting, pitching, baserunning, fielding, throwing, etc. Maybe not all of those things but at least some of them. If he isn't he shouldn't be coaching baseball. I think your depiction of the HS coach telling a player to "go see a private instructor and figure it out" is accurate. But its also a cop out.
I also think (in many cases) there is way too emphasis on fundraising. If parents are pressured to raise money for (what they are told to be) the betterment of the program they should have a voice in how that money is spent. Sometimes an additional coach would benefit the program more than a new outfield fence.
I don't advocate parents getting involved with their kid's issues with a HS baseball coach - especially about playing time. That battle is for the kid to fight. But everyday I see HS baseball coaches putting kids on the field for all the wrong reasons. They cave in to social & political pressure from booster club, parents, administration, etc. Seems to happen more in baseball than other HS sports.
Keep in mind that I don't even have a HS dog in this hunt. These are just my observations (and my personal experience) over the past 8 years.
Coaches don’t randomly select a victim for the season. If a kid doesn’t play he either doesn’t have the talent, the coach has the perception in the long run another player will be better, displayed attitude in practice, has grade issues or citizenship issues in school.
As a parent I heard stories of why the coach doesn’t play my kid for eight years and twenty-one seasons of six high school sports. In every case the kid fell into one of the situations I listed. Often the parent isn’t getting the straight scoop from the kid. The parent is unaware of things that go on at practice, in the locker room or in school.
When I played high school ball I didn’t understand a couple of situations. One of my friend’s parents said it was because the coach is Irish Catholic and favors Irish Catholic players. Maybe it was possible in the 70’s. I’m Jewish and took a lot of crap including from coaches. It didn’t keep me from starting in three sports for three years. Even anti Semite coaches want to win.
At the end of the day if you are going to let a coach break you mentally, you were never going anywhere in the sport. Whether that means college baseball or just being a reliable varsity player. You can have all the talent in the world, but the truth is none of your teammates are going to want you on the field in the last inning if you let something as small as an angry coach discourage you. People tend to forget that there is a mental aspect to sports. HS sports are fun, but they're also competitive, it isn't supposed to be a feel good environment.
You will get nods and a lot of agreement from other parents when you tell them he's not starting or quit because the coach doesn't know what he's doing, but the truth is they are all rolling their eyes in the back of their heads. People can pick apart coaches all they want, but I'm sure that coach can pick apart something your kid doesn't do well to justify his decisions. Do we really want coaches to change what they are doing so one player can be encouraged a little more? Everybody (including starters) having problems with a coach is a coaching problem. One or two parents having a problem with a coach is a them problem.
Season update from That Baseball Dad. I am really not bad but some of you think so. Any way my son had another great season of play. He was allowed to bat around cleanup and sometimes cleanup and play the first 3 innings every JV game. He was a leader in stats but not the top overall avg for the season. He batted very close to .500 avg, high .700 slg with the most RBIs and second most runs. He was called up to dress out with Varsity the remainder of the season. He started once and played 7 innings total. He had the chance several times to show off his arm in RF throwing people out at 2nd and throwing to 3rd to hold the runner. He made two diving/sliding plays. Batting he was almost perfect on being productive 100% QABs, all line drives to the gaps and was quickly gaining on the total number of hits the Senior had that played RF all season long. The starting RF also had no arm or accuracy. Others that my son had out preformed this year and previous years were called up to Varsity before him again, but at least this time by miracle he was going to get some sort of shot. These other kids that got called up, out of the 5 only one worked out as a true Varsity starter. The rest were sitting the bench after mid way of the season. We had 3 players quit Varsity this year, two I know were good and one I didn't know, but he was in the local news paper about being a player to watch, but he sat the bench and quit 7 games in. The other two who will play college ball if they choose to (I know they have offers) did not play as much as they wanted and seemed to be pulled out first instead of someone else who was younger and or not doing as well. Seemed weird. Never before had I seen anybody quit baseball at this school that so many others try to move to and make this team. At my son's end of the year meeting with the coaches, They told him he was a great hitter with good mechanics and a great eye at the plate. They mentioned that he must have great pitch recognition because they never saw him swing at a bad pitch. They also told him that he was a great right fielder and that they had 3 spots open for next year and they thought he could fill one of those roles every game next year. They also stated that they did not know he was that good of a player. All the things they said are great, but understand also how frustrating it is to hear that they didn't pay any attention to his prior performances even when he was MVP or his perfect game stats, LOL. I am his dad and many if not all would say I am bias, but he has been this good the whole time, he did not get his swing or eagle eye this year. He has always been rock solid in the outfield almost no errors ever. None this year or last year. The coaches might have turned the corner this year, but I still stand by all of my previous statements that they just don't know what they are doing and I know one does not like my son because that coach said so last year.Most agree If a coach wants to win and keep his job they will play the best, but lets be honest that's not always the case. So glad travel ball will be here soon.
“He started once and played 7 innings total. He had the chance several times to show off his arm in RF throwing people out at 2nd and throwing to 3rd to hold the runner. He made two diving/sliding plays. Batting he was almost perfect on being productive 100% QABs, all line drives to the gaps and was quickly gaining on the total number of hits the Senior had that played RF all season long.”
All in seven innings! Wow! And the Army brags they do more by noon than most people do in a day. It appears your son put forth a Herculean, all state effort in seven innings!
For a coach who is a jerk he was more complimentary of your son over seven innings of play than my son’s good coach was over an entire all-everything career.
Bbdad, I hope your plans for summer go well. Sounds like your kid is a good player and needs to be seen by college coaches. He’s gonna be a senior, right? Good luck!
Saw this on twitter last week, "If you have a problem with your kid's HS coach, check these boxes before complaining:
- Does my kid spend 10 hrs/week doing extra work?
- Does my son pound the weights?
- Does my son want this as bad as me?
- Does my son compete in practice?"
I have a son who is similar to some of yours-- the dreaded "well-rounded." We are fortunate to have a high school coach who supports him being involved in other things. However, there is an opportunity cost to everything--there are only so many hours in the day. While he is off doing other things, his teammates--school and summer--are putting in the grind.
My advice is to enjoy what little time you have watching your kid play.
For what it is worth...
On the opposite side of the coin, those of us who as parents and players are dedicated to baseball, it is our thing, do not understand the well-rounded. Many people say they want to be get a D1 scholarship but they are not willing to invest everything to get it. I have had parents tell me for years now that my kids didn't get the opportunity to be a kid since they are devoted to baseball. My two youngest played all summer for four years during high school to get where they were/are. They did not hang out with their friends or go to the beach unless there was a tournament there and then baseball came before everything else. They do not hang out on the weekends because they are usually playing or working out. I think it takes both in high school to make it work. My 2019 made Beta Club and Honor Roll but baseball was still first for him. I know some of you will disagree with that but his goal is to play pro ball or coach pro/college not be an engineer or doctor. We had a (voluntary) practice last weekend getting ready for playoffs and several chose not to be there and we could not understand that. How could you not be at practice the day before playoffs start? But that is what makes high school, high school. Someone asked my son what he most looked forward to about going to college and his answer was playing with guys who are all in for baseball. That is why many of us look so forward to summer ball. Playing with players and families who are all in. It takes all kinds in this world but you must understand if you are not "all in" that those families who are don't get you like you don't get them. My wife and I will not have baseball this summer for the first time in 21 years since 2019 will only play June before starting college and others are long past it. I reckon I will go watch my friend's kids play or maybe take a vacation that doesn't include baseball, not sure what that is.
Pitching Fan I get you. But I would only add “Not exclusive to D1 but simply a college baseball player.” There are many who invest just as much sometimes more just to have the opportunity to play somewhere, anywhere.
I agree Coach May. I just hear it from people who say they want to play D1 but I agree that it is college ball in general at a high level.
c4dad posted:Saw this on twitter last week, "If you have a problem with your kid's HS coach, check these boxes before complaining:
- Does my kid spend 10 hrs/week doing extra work?
- Does my son pound the weights?
- Does my son want this as bad as me?
- Does my son compete in practice?"
I have a son who is similar to some of yours-- the dreaded "well-rounded." We are fortunate to have a high school coach who supports him being involved in other things. However, there is an opportunity cost to everything--there are only so many hours in the day. While he is off doing other things, his teammates--school and summer--are putting in the grind.
My advice is to enjoy what little time you have watching your kid play.
For what it is worth...
There’s nothing to be dreaded about being well rounded. There are plenty of posters present and past on this board and parents who have never heard of this board with kids who excelled in multiple sports, were top students and became D1 athletes in the sport they chose to make the focus.
Sure, these kids had to make some choices along the way. Some sacrifices had to be made. But it’s part of life. Choices and sacrifices don’t stop when a person decides getting a second degree at night and on weekends while working during the day is beneficial to their career. Choices and sacrifices certainly don’t stop when you have kids.
When college recruiting started I informed my kids the decision would be 70% academic and 30% athletic. I was not going to allow them to sacrifice academics. After it was all over I asked my kids some questions about the journey. Do you believe I steered you towards baseball/softball? When the answer was yes I asked if they had any regrets. I asked if they made sacrifices and would they do it again.
They didn’t regret me steering them towards baseball/softball. They played other sports through high school. There were other options for college sports had they chose to focus and pursue them. They recognized they made sacrifices in the summer during high school and college. They said they would do it all over again.
When each one graduated from college they came home and went to the beach for the summer to hangout and work part time jobs. My son said it best. “I’m going to hang out and drink a few beers. In my more lucid moments I’ll build a job search plan.” I figured my kids had earned this.
“He started once and played 7 innings total. He had the chance several times to show off his arm in RF throwing people out at 2nd and throwing to 3rd to hold the runner. He made two diving/sliding plays. Batting he was almost perfect on being productive 100% QABs, all line drives to the gaps and was quickly gaining on the total number of hits the Senior had that played RF all season long.”
All in seven innings! Wow! And the Army brags they do more by noon than most people do in a day. It appears your son put forth a Herculean, all state effort in seven innings!
For a coach who is a jerk he was more complimentary of your son over seven innings of play than my son’s good coach was over an entire all-everything career.
RJM, My son played all of the JV season, in 3 years this was the first year he was allowed to start in the field. He was mostly used as a DH prior to this season and would rarely play the field and even if he was in the lineup and on the field he was without a doubt always pulled first to sit. He has lead the team in offense every year and even won an mvp. He is a great outfielder, and that is something the coaches did not know until they actually let him play in the field. This year for JV he batted high 400 avg and slg a high 700, last year was about the same and the year before. At summer ball Perfect Game (were he played up two age levels) he lead his team and varsity team mates in stats and he started every game with his varsity team mates. This year at the end of JV he moved up to varsity, my son batted 7 times, and played RF 7 times, he had 4 line drive hits (2 doubles), one line drive out and 2 walks. The current senior right fielder had 12 total hits for the whole season. My son did great in right field getting 2 of the 3 outs in two innings. He threw a player out who tried for 2nd after hitting the ball down the line and to the side fence. he made one diving catch and one sliding catch, he did make a great throw to 3rd to hold the runner( hard throw on a line). The last time the senior threw to 3rd it went 20 feet high over the fence at 3rd. I am not picking on the senior, he is a good guy, just not a top 12 player in the program.
So RJM, my son made the most of the balls hit to him and pitched to him every inning. I have stated on here for 2 or 3 years now that my son plays hard and gets good results, and if a coach wants to win, why do they choose not to play certain players. I am no fortune teller but as he has went along he has shown year after year that he can play at that level and do it well. We like the compliments from the coaches but how blind do you have to be to make a statement that they didn't know he could hit so well! Playing RF I understand, (sort of) they never let him play the field, but now they think he is great at it.
Saw this on twitter last week, "If you have a problem with your kid's HS coach, check these boxes before complaining:
- Does my kid spend 10 hrs/week doing extra work?
- Yes he works with me and has lessons, HS practice gets in the way.
- Does my son pound the weights?
- Yes he works out everyday at school and has made great gains, the football coach brags on him.
- Does my son want this as bad as me?
- We have had the conversation about if he wanted to quit any year. He has stressed to me that he wants to play as high as he can.
- Does my son compete in practice?" I hope so, I quit going to HS practices the coaches just confuse me. He works very hard a travel ball practice.
His attitude is good, he has manners, he is top 2 in grades on the team and he is the only player that is in STEM. He hustles on and off the field, tries to finish his conditioning first to show how hard he works.
my youngest is similar, he is pretty solid player who works hard and has good attitude...his problem is his team is very good, very deep and he honestly is not as good as some of the kids he is competing with. if he was on some other teams he may have a different role.
just saying but maybe your son isn't as good as you think he might be...
I have been told by other travel dads that my son would have started Varsity as a freshman on their son's HS team, and have asked us to move him. Our HS has good records but fails to finish the season strong when the level of competition increases and this is due to the players on the field and the coaching strategy during the game. My son has proven to be a solid player, whether you see it or the HS coach sees it. I am not saying he is Bryce Harper, I am saying he is better than the average HS player starting at Varsity. He has already been graded by scouts last year as above average and capable of playing at the next level and his consistent stats that the scouts were not even aware of also back them up. He has worked hard to do the little things correct. His swing is successful because it stays in the zone longer than most peoples at this level. He hits line drives to all fields. A scout told him to his face that he had an exceptional swing and that was the same swing he tries to teach his players at the college level. The scout watched him hit 10 pitches and came to that conclusion. My son was in 8th grade that year and the coach was from a top 10 college program. He warms up in a way that impresses others, each throw matters. Dads and other coaches have walked over to me and commented on that. One dad was thankful that his son was my sons throwing partner because he and his son like how serious he is. My son sprints to his position and he is fast so it is obvious that he got there before the others that jog. He may not be as good as I think, but he is good and when people look and know about baseball they appreciate what he brings to the teams he is on. I taught him to warm up like it matters, I taught him to hustle on the field, I worked on his swing, I worked on his throws from the field, I hit all the fly balls to him so he can dive and slide to catch them, my son has a great work ethic and we work great together. He practices like this on purpose and I don't see any of our HS coaches coaching like this or taking notice of his players who practice like this. That's why I can't bear to watch practice. I stay away, I don't say anything, I just take it all in and think how will this make my son a better player and me a better coach to my kids and others I coach. I am on here to vent. Maybe that's wrong, maybe I'm that dad. If I could pick something for anyone to learn from this, it might be sometimes coaches just suck,(pick a reason) do the small things right, out work everyone, and the coach might still suck, but if you love the game you know your not doing it for the coach you are doing it for the game. Best of luck to the boys in the playoffs and the ones headed to summer ball.
You refer to his spot in the order as "cleanup or around cleanup."
That is all I need to know.
Sounds like your son plays travel ball in the summer and has done PG events. Also sounds like he's a junior? Is he getting attention from colleges? Does he want to play in college and at what level?
JCG posted:Sounds like your son plays travel ball in the summer and has done PG events. Also sounds like he's a junior? Is he getting attention from colleges? Does he want to play in college and at what level?
High School = school spirit, camaraderie, memories, Friendships and teamwork
Summer Ball = Competition and Expsoure (and some of the above)
If your goal is to play at the next level you need to get it done over the summer. Play at the highest level against top national players in front of college and pro scouts.
Nobody at the next level cares about how you did during school ball....in my son's experience his high school stats/career never came up while being recruited.
His high school career had ups and downs, but that is the nature of the beast...talent always doesn't play at that level...but it doesn't matter if your goal is next level...if college is the goal......summer matters.
High School ball is a place to learn how to be a part of a team, be the best teammate you can be, hopefully win some games and make some memories and friendships....its not a place to point fingers and look for scape goats.
Summer Ball will ultimately determine how good a player is.
Not sure what the problem is, I get not playing when it is clear you are superior to everyone on the field, but he sounds like he will be playing a long time after high school.
As far as coaches sucking, they suck at all levels. My sons college coach has one of the highest winning percentage among active coaches, the staff has been together for 16 years, several trips to Omaha and won 1 national championship and they suck. Well according to some parents anyway.
This thread is equal parts amusing and annoying. So much nonsense. Georgia is a really good baseball state that produces a lot of good players. But no HS program is so deep that a "player that would start on Varsity as a freshman at other comparable schools" is playing JV as a junior at your school. JV can be such bad baseball that the stats that go along with it are meaningless. I always get a giggle out of hearing someone try to build a case for a player based on JV stats. It can be different for pitchers, but as a position player if you aren't a Varsity starter as a sophomore (in most programs) or a junior (in elite programs) your odds of being recruited to play college baseball are slim. "Better than average Varsity players" are not what colleges are looking for. They are looking for standouts. A standout player is noticable on every ball field he steps on - whether its HS or travel ball. In the case of the OP it sounds like one of 2 things : either the HS HC is an idiot or BBDAD98 is delusional. I guess either one is a possibility.
adbono posted:This thread is equal parts amusing and annoying. So much nonsense. Georgia is a really good baseball state that produces a lot of good players. But no HS program is so deep that a "player that would start on Varsity as a freshman at other comparable schools" is playing JV as a junior at your school. JV can be such bad baseball that the stats that go along with it are meaningless. I always get a giggle out of hearing someone try to build a case for a player based on JV stats. It can be different for pitchers, but as a position player if you aren't a Varsity starter as a sophomore (in most programs) or a junior (in elite programs) your odds of being recruited to play college baseball are slim. "Better than average Varsity players" are not what colleges are looking for. They are looking for standouts. A standout player is noticable on every ball field he steps on - whether its HS or travel ball. In the case of the OP it sounds like one of 2 things : either the HS HC is an idiot or BBDAD98 is delusional. I guess either one is a possibility.
Bragging on JV stats and an 8th grade swing when the player is a high school junior would be a tip.
Another poster is correct about travel versus high school. The college attention comes from travel. Colleges coaches politely asked how the high school season went. It was nothing but conversation. The only high school stats they were interested in were GPA and SAT scores. The only conversation with high school coaches was about citizenship, leadership and work ethic. High school coaches are around players more day to day than travel coaches.
Here is an update at the conclusion of my son’s Freshman season. After telling my son he would not get a lot of playing time, the coach lived up to his word. My son was one of 6 players who did not see the field. The coach started his favorite 9/10 players, regardless of their performance. If they struggled, he moved them down in the lineup. No substitutes even in blowouts. When one of the six asked what he needed to do to get more playing time, the coach replied “ you need to get bigger and stronger”. Mind you, this kid is one if not the best glove on the team. Now this is not my kid I am talking about. Limited opportunities in the preseason games, and at most an at bat or a 1/2 inning in the field every week or so for those 6 kids. The team beat most of the bad teams, and lost to the good teams. They are not good hitters and have limited pitching. The coach even benched sophomores in favor of his favorite freshman. The sophomores realized in the first week of practice that the coach has favorites. Apparently it’s no secret that this guy is a bad coach. The kids didn’t learn anything except some baserunning, and didn’t get any better. Glad it’s over and now to look forward to summer ball where my son finally got to play and pitch. Threw a one hitter giving up one run in 4 innings before he was yanked because it was his first game pitching since last year. His batting average so far is around .650.
He should just try soccer.
How did your son throw a one hitter from the bench? You say he did not see the field and yet you say they saw 1 to 2 innings a week. That can't be true. If they saw 1 to 2 innings a week that is about right for bench players in high school. We had several that did not see the field but about 10 innings all year on varsity. He was yanked because it was his first outing in a year. Didn't he play travel ball? So his travel ball coach did not pitch him either. Your posts are confusing. Not trying to start a fight but trying to give a rational outlook.
What I see is a poster/parent perfectly willing to talk about other players and throw them under the bus. It’s the worst kind of parent a coach has to deal with. It’s a parent who lacks character. They talk about other players and are willing to tear them down to build up their son. The kids of these kinds are parents grow up hanging around the water cooler at work complaining about their boss and other people’s promotions. It’s because it’s what they were taught.
i looked back to see where this part of the post started. Your son didn’t start on the middle school team. You complained to the coach. Your son doesn’t start as a high school freshman on JV. You’re complaining again. I see a trend. Prepare yourself for the harsh reality. Ready? Your son isn’t very good and you’re the only one who can’t see it. Or, you’re such a PITA coaches don’t want anything to do with you or your son. Chances are all the complaining you’re doing about the coach is getting back to him.
Back when my son played JV as a freshman there was a parent complaining to everyone who didn’t run away her son had the top batting average on JV and the coach was a jerk for only playing him part of the time. The coach knew the kid had no future. The kid only played against the worst pitching so he could feel the the thrill of success before being cut after soph year.
The coach was doing the kid a favor. And the parent ripped the coach for two years. That is until she moved on to ripping the varsity coach for cutting her son with the high JV batting average.
I will add to this that college coaches have egos. RJM is correct in my experience. Coaches who contact the high school coach are looking at character issues. Even in football where there is no travel ball. Our head coach got an e mail from my son's #1 choice and let him read it. D1 football and not a single word asking coach about his abilities. All about character, how he is as a teammate etc. As I said they have egos and THEY will determine if the kid is able to play at their level. We have one kid who barely played as a junior (personally I think that was a mistake) who is being recruited and may get a deal. The college coaches are not afraid to disagree with the high school coaches about a kids ability to play at the next level. Our coaches don't do much for kids recruitment. And we have two already committed D1 and four more with D1's seriously following them and several more with D2's on them. If colleges think you are good enough they won't much care what the high school coach did with you. Now it doesnt help I grant you. But if you are a junior with absolutely no communication from college coaches... I don't want to be mean but that's a pretty strong indication it's over. In football it's all about twitter. I would say my son is followed by 70ish programs? Probably half those followed him when he was a sophomore and the summer before junior year. Now that junior year is coming to a close new coaches come in here and there. Pretty much all the schools who are going to be interested have already expressed that interest. Only way that changes now is if he goes to a camp in June and absolutely wows somebody. Or is seen by a school a little farther away geographically who decides to take a shot. But point is the recruiting process is ENDING, not beginning. I see a lot of disappointed fathers and sons as the clock is winding down and there is seemingly nothing for them. It's truly sad and hard to deal with. This is why I don't want to rip on these parents on here. It's a terrible time for them. I wish you luck but I also hope you are able to handle the end if that's what this is. One of the best tips looking back I have gotten here is 'if you have to ask if you're being recruited, you're not'. They aren't out to hide it when they are really looking at you. If you don't KNOW any schools are very excited about your son when he is a junior the gig is up. Give your kid a hug and tell him it was a good run. Even Willie Mays had to retire.
I wouldn't get too caught up in his playing time as a freshman. Many times, coaches have preconceived values of players, there are growth/maturity factors, next up for Varsity, etc. Freshman year is typically a waste of time, outside of a few either talented, or early maturers. This all typically shakes out over a 4 year HS career.
Focus on summer, having your son regain his love for the game. His role should grow with the HS team, if his talent and dedication are there. It's a journey, some kids don't get meaningful time until their senior years, if they even do at all.
Maybe also write down the goals for your son. Is it to be a starter 100% of the time and do his talents match that? Is there value in just being part of a team and bonding with his HS peers for 4 years? Do you want him to have the structure and challenges of being a student athlete, regardless of PT?
I know playing time can be frustrating. I haven't had that with my son's pitching, but he was forced to be a PO as a sophomore. I used to struggle with him sitting on non-pitching days, as he's a good athlete and can contribute offensively. But being a pitcher has buttered his bread, he's OK with being a PO, as am I. I still go to games when he's not pitching and cheer for the team and watch him have a hell of a time in the dugout. Heck, it's a lot less stressful that way too!
For all parents, who think the coach is just a jerk, cannot evaluate talent or has an agenda other than winning. Have your kid take up wrestling. Coach has little to do with who wrestles varsity. Your kid better than the Varsity Wrestler at his weight class, Prove it. Challenge the starter to a wrestle off. If you beat him you are varsity. Cannot beat him, move up or down a weight class and beat another guy.
Yeah, I know wrestling is not for everyone.
KTCOTB posted:Here is an update at the conclusion of my son’s Freshman season. After telling my son he would not get a lot of playing time, the coach lived up to his word. My son was one of 6 players who did not see the field. The coach started his favorite 9/10 players, regardless of their performance. If they struggled, he moved them down in the lineup. No substitutes even in blowouts. When one of the six asked what he needed to do to get more playing time, the coach replied “ you need to get bigger and stronger”. Mind you, this kid is one if not the best glove on the team. Now this is not my kid I am talking about. Limited opportunities in the preseason games, and at most an at bat or a 1/2 inning in the field every week or so for those 6 kids. The team beat most of the bad teams, and lost to the good teams. They are not good hitters and have limited pitching. The coach even benched sophomores in favor of his favorite freshman. The sophomores realized in the first week of practice that the coach has favorites. Apparently it’s no secret that this guy is a bad coach. The kids didn’t learn anything except some baserunning, and didn’t get any better. Glad it’s over and now to look forward to summer ball where my son finally got to play and pitch. Threw a one hitter giving up one run in 4 innings before he was yanked because it was his first game pitching since last year. His batting average so far is around .650.
So the coach told your son he would not get a lot of playing time, and he didn't. A player asked a coach what he has to do to get better. The coach tells him exactly what he needs to do and the answer was wrong because he has a good glove? The coach then benches players who are not performing for other freshmen and he is wrong for doing that because they're his favorites?
If you can't find "that parent" in the stands, it's probably you. All signs would point to him not being good enough to play on this team but everybody else is wrong because he is doing well on his 14u travel team.
Do not confuse HS baseball with rec, it's not equal opportunity. The best play the rest sit. Should he get some work in during blowouts? Of course, but maybe he is worried that your kid hits a double and he'll never hear the end of it. The truth is that you texted the coach about playing time last year (big no no) and he didn't hold it against your kid during tryouts. Now that he's on the team you're complaining again. Something the coach did not want.
Either your kid is not that good or the coach really regrets taking your son back and is just trying to get thru the season and so he can cut him during tryouts next year. Either way, if your kid was a stand out, he would be standing out.
It’s very simple. This is JV ball. To confine players so early to the bench due to preconceived notions about their ability is foolish. My son as well as 5 other kids had little to no opportunity to play and prove themselves, even in scrimmage games. He has had the SAME coach since 7th grade who has his mind made up about him. All the kid wants is a chance, and he was denied that. JV is about developing players. The only thing you develop sitting on the bench all year is hemorrhoids. Referring to the one hitter, I was referring to summer ball, which has already begun.
The goals are simple for next year and have been discussed already.
1. Work hard refining skills across the board: hitting , pitching , fielding, speed and agility.
2. Stand out to the point where it is painfully obvious that he should be a starter.
He has low self confidence in baseball, and has been beaten down by this coach of 3 years. But he is no quitter. Let’s see what next year brings.
KTCOTB,
I actually agree with you that JV should be about developing players and should be an environment where players play, at least some, in games. I also applaud the goals for next year.
That said, I can't buy the statements " had little to no opportunity to play and prove themselves" and "All the kid wants is a chance, and he was denied that." I'm also not on board with the idea your son is stuck because of preconceived notions. They practice together every day for months. Most opportunities are won or lost at practice. Yes, some players are gamers. And, you may or may not be right about the coach' current assessment of your son's ability. But don't underestimate the time spent, the number of reps taken and the clarity that comes from seeing players executing on the field day in and day out. He is being given an opportunity, a chance, every day.
Preconceived notions - HS coaches know that player skill sets, physical strength, maturity, etc., will grow during those years, some more than others. It is inevitable. Yes, the coach will fall back on what he has learned from observing a particular player up to the present point in time but will certainly expect a level of change.
Regarding the low self confidence in baseball... sounds like there is a pattern where he is having success in travel but not yet at this point in HS. He should just focus his thoughts on his success in travel to assure himself of his ability to play.
Continued best to him!
I've said it before, I'll say it again. If your kid is playing Varsity BB as a Freshman, then he is either a massive talent, or you are at a small school playing mediocre BB. Good for you if you are the former(your son should be on the national radar), who cares if you're the latter? Enjoy the season, have some laughs.
I only know of one Freshman who MIGHT have played Varsity here about 30 years ago. He was a first round draft pick. Keep in mind that we are a large public in the upper midwest who has a good, but not great program. We would get our asses kicked by the best teams from TX, CA, FLA, GA, etc..
Only one kid from my son's Freshman group played JV. 6'3" LHP/OF/1B. Can touch low 80's, with a nasty breaking pitch. Great hitter, good glove, and can run.
Freshman are still growing, and aren't supposed to be able to compete with kids 4 years older than them. Physically, and mentally, they aren't in the same place. I
My son started to complain the other day that someone else got a start in the field instead of him. I told him he wasn't hitting, what did he expect?
Maybe I'm off base. Do the top teams from the BB states(i.e. CA, GA) have lots of Freshman on their Varsity teams? Don't see how that's possible, if they have a healthy turnout from the higher classes for tryouts. It's normal around here to have 8-10 Seniors, 5-6 Juniors, 1-2 Sophomores on a Varsity team. Freshman don't play Varsity.
Baseball is about opportunities. Make the best of the ones you’ve earned and be a good teammate the other times. I personally wouldn’t want to have my playing time I’ve earned taken from me to let someone who did not earn it get a “chance to develop.” We are quickly moving to a place where you develop outside of your teams.
It won’t help your son IMO to continue to think poorly of his coach. If you do, I suggest you are quiet about it.
Been there done that. My senior lead the district in hits and Batting average. Is currently still #2 on the team in batting average and top 7 in district. Been sitting the bench since the second half of the season only to pinch hit at times. By missing those 6 games he is currently tied 5th in hits. Has 40 less at bats or so. Batting average hasn’t been under .360 until late (358). Only 3 players are above .300. The fielder he was replaced with is maybe the same skill defense but not near the hitter. Oh and btw pitched in 6 preseason games to not give up a hit. Had a rough 2 innings last game pitched with a few walks and hasn’t pitched since. But it’s ok. He has been recruited to play juco college ball
Read this fictional short story in social media and it reminded me of this thread (at I think it's fictional)...
atlnon posted:Read this fictional short story in social media and it reminded me of this thread (at I think it's fictional)...
The real story has a few more lines. The dad returns to steaming by the time he gets back to his car and slams the door. He calls his wife. He reminds her the coach is clueless and now the principal is protecting her. He goes to the next game and rips both of them a new backside to anyone who will listen (typically the parents of other bench players). If his daughter ever starts varsity over four years she’s an ordinary player. Dad rips the coach to anyone who will listen the coach didn’t support her for all conference.
The story may be fictional. But it plays out all over the country every year.
And the coach’s real first name is Sheesa.
WJP posted:Been there done that. My senior lead the district in hits and Batting average. Is currently still #2 on the team in batting average and top 7 in district. Been sitting the bench since the second half of the season only to pinch hit at times. By missing those 6 games he is currently tied 5th in hits. Has 40 less at bats or so. Batting average hasn’t been under .360 until late (358). Only 3 players are above .300. The fielder he was replaced with is maybe the same skill defense but not near the hitter. Oh and btw pitched in 6 preseason games to not give up a hit. Had a rough 2 innings last game pitched with a few walks and hasn’t pitched since. But it’s ok. He has been recruited to play juco college ball
So why is he sitting? Did something happen? Can't imagine a coach sitting a great player for a bad player if nothing happened.
Hell, Even I know Becky Dixon is better than Marley Jenkins
atlnon posted:Read this fictional short story in social media and it reminded me of this thread (at I think it's fictional)...
Coached in schools for 26 years...would love to work for an administrator with the sack to say, "Mr. _______, hear me out – you’re out of line...."
PitchingFan posted:WJP posted:Been there done that. My senior lead the district in hits and Batting average. Is currently still #2 on the team in batting average and top 7 in district. Been sitting the bench since the second half of the season only to pinch hit at times. By missing those 6 games he is currently tied 5th in hits. Has 40 less at bats or so. Batting average hasn’t been under .360 until late (358). Only 3 players are above .300. The fielder he was replaced with is maybe the same skill defense but not near the hitter. Oh and btw pitched in 6 preseason games to not give up a hit. Had a rough 2 innings last game pitched with a few walks and hasn’t pitched since. But it’s ok. He has been recruited to play juco college ball
So why is he sitting? Did something happen? Can't imagine a coach sitting a great player for a bad player if nothing happened.
Have no clue. Everyone in town asked me the same thing. Kid goes to practice and works hard as any one else. I know better than question a coach. Don’t need him telling college scouts anything negative. I just remind my kid every week to keep working and if he gets in to take advantage of it and shine.
Update from "That Dad" lol. My son did well over the summer at PBR and PG events. He did get some looks from D3 schools and he actually talked to the coaches and he did attend the camps that they invited him to. He batted .342 over the summer, and was one of the top 4. The team as a whole lost more games than they won and almost tied more games than they won. My son missed the last 2 tournaments due to an injury. He took the fall off to heal, do showcases and get his ACT and SAT done.
I did want to address some of the comments that I saw on here. I never meant to imply my son was a good baseball player based off of JV stats. I do believe if you went back you would see that my son did very well on the JV team compared to the other 4-5 JV players that moved up and down from varsity. His JV stats were better than the rest of the JV players and his Summer stats were better than the Varsity players stats as well and these were stats taken while he (14U) played up 2 years (16U) with these and against these Varsity players. He did see weaker comp at the JV level but so did the other guys that were called up before him. My son faced the same talent as the varsity players in the summer and lead the entire 16U team and it was a .500 team. Someone stated that it made no sense for me to think he could have been on varsity as a freshman on a similar HS team. A fellow travel dad made that comment to me that my son should play Varsity and that he would at his sons school. He knew my son was better player than the other freshman varsity players at that school. That school is now state champions and his son was a freshman varsity player. Our school seems to pick at least 2 freshman to be on varsity every year and one year they pick 4 or 5, which happens to be the year my son did so well and the others struggled to the point they were put back down to JV and still did not do well. I can't speak for other schools but this seems to be normal over here. Our HS had a great season and won 20 plus games with like 5 losses and 2 were in the playoffs, we should had done better but it is impossible to criticize the coaches if they are winning as much as we do. We could win more though with just a few more good decisions. Our roster was not that deep in talent unless they took my advice and moved up the 3 players I would suggest. But if I remember right the averages drop off the table after the 6th batter. Two of the bottom starters were even dangerous to have in the field. The other bench players had chances but could not earn a spot, then only then they brought my son up and he did amazing hitting and fielding for the 7 innings they let him play.
My son is now a Junior and the suspected Varsity team looks to be really strong but still might be missing 2 really good players the coaches might leave on JV. Why, I don't know that seems to be what they do? We should have 6-7 seniors and 6-7 Juniors with two sophomores that would most likely carry over from last year. Which would leave about 3ish positions open for another sophomore or freshmans.
Breaking News! My son has told me he no longer has interest in playing in college which has been a dream of his sense he first learned about college sports (maybe 5 or 6 years old). He plans to play his Junior year and see if the coaches give him a chance or if they will continue to over look him. He said he is really tired of the bad coaching at HS and is not sure how much longer he can stand poor instructions from coaches who don't seem to be able to demonstrate what they are looking for from their players. He said the last 3 years of HS baseball has been the worst experiences with any coaches he has every had, and he doesn't want to even think about having a coach who seems not to like/or care for him in college. He is currently getting private instructions on hitting, he has weight training everyday, he also has baseball specific conditioning and arm care 3 days a week. He is still working very hard so we will see what he chooses to do.
"Breaking News! My son has told me he no longer has interest in playing in college which has been a dream of his sense he first learned about college sports (maybe 5 or 6 years old). He plans to play his Junior year and see if the coaches give him a chance or if they will continue to over look him. He said he is really tired of the bad coaching at HS and is not sure how much longer he can stand poor instructions from coaches who don't seem to be able to demonstrate what they are looking for from their players. He said the last 3 years of HS baseball has been the worst experiences with any coaches he has every had, and he doesn't want to even think about having a coach who seems not to like/or care for him in college. He is currently getting private instructions on hitting, he has weight training everyday, he also has baseball specific conditioning and arm care 3 days a week. He is still working very hard so we will see what he chooses to do."
Not sure why you are spending the money on him when he has decided he is no longer interested in playing college baseball. My son had a bad HS coach, and one of his teammates came to the same conclusion as your son and his parents stopped paying for private lessons and such. The kid stuck it out and played a solid senior season but he finished his baseball career then and there. Wise move by his parents who realized their kid was not going to be able to survive the demands of college baseball if he could not overcome a bad HS coach. They accepted it and moved on.
On the other hand, my son was determined to prove his HS coach wrong and has done so by playing college baseball with a drive and determination that has set him up well for life beyond baseball and college. Learning to survive tough, negative or just bad coaches is part of growing up and positioning a kid for life in the "real world" where their job and financial well-being may depend on their ability to survive and overcome bad managers/bosses.
That's a shame. You only have a HS baseball experience once. Many times the fun is wrung out of it by Parents. Reading the under tones on this thread, you may want to make sure you are not one of those parents.
Statements like "unless they took my advice and moved up the 3 players I would suggest." Show your disdain for the program. Your son is sure to pick up on your attitude.
There is still time to jump on board and make the baseball time he has left, fun and productive. However it may mean having a sitdown with your son and explaining you were wrong about some things.
One attribute about quitting is it makes it easier to do the second time.
Wow. I don't know where to start. If he did so well in travel at PG and PBR events, and he is still taking private instruction and working an off-season throwing program, why does he no longer have interest in playing college baseball? Why would he do that just for a HS program that he doesn't like and you hate? If he did so well w/ travel, PG and PBR, and has consistently been a great player for years, why is he only getting some interest from D3? If the HS baseball team is such a perennial winner and desirable program to be a part of, as you have stated in previous posts, how can they have two starters that are even dangerous to have in the field? If the dad of a fellow travel team player of your son, not from the same HS but lives in the same state says to you that your son should be starting varsity, why the heck wouldn't your son's HS coach be listening to him? Geez, you were right all along. That coach is an idiot. Just because your son has a weird throwing motion, that doesn't mean he shouldn't get more attention and opportunity at higher levels. Geez, he's totally getting the job done at HS JV.
Seriously, as we approach page 11, you seem to have listened to absolutely none, zero, of the advice given by an audience that can help you, and in turn, your son. It's getting late and that door is closing quickly. Go back and read your posts in this thread and, more importantly, the responses. Think about what advice others are trying to give you, not about what you want to hear. It is becoming extremely unlikely your son will be able to survive a college baseball program, regardless of how far his skill set may continue to advance. So, he may have made a wise decision. It may not be too late but the fat lady has her harmonica out, humming her notes.
cabbagedad posted:
Seriously, as we approach page 11...
Classic!
It may happen one day. But so far I have never seen these situations end well. My son was a tremendous HS player. Ranked very high. Went to his dream school. All I did was keep it real with him. Never offered excuses as a solution. He transferred to another school and I did the exact same thing. During his 5 years of college 1 rs year and 4 playing not once did I offer up excuses when things were tough. And he followed my lead. No excuses find a way. He ended up having a great college baseball experience. He ended up being an All American his sr year. He learned how to grind. He learned how to deal with adversity. He learned how to fight.
At the end of his college career his college coach who I never talked to one time about my son's baseball. Pulled me over to the side after a game and said. "I hope one day when my son's play baseball I can be the parent you have been. I hope my sons are half the man your son is."
He offered my son a spot on his staff after he graduated. And when the PC was offered a HC position he gave my son a job on his staff. This started my son's coaching career his dream he always wanted to do. What he will tell you is he wouldn't change a thing. Those tough times were the fire that forged the steel. They were what drove him to be a great player but more important an outstanding man. Baseball is great. But nothing is as important as the man he will be one day. Baseball is a vehicle that can assist your son with this process in a positive way or a negative way. And make no mistake you as a parent have a whole lot to do with what road they take.
It may sound harsh but the bottom line is be more concerned with the man the game is making than the player you want him to be.
I'll throw my 2 cents in but the value is probably less. You stated that your son doesn't have any respect for the high school coach. You have made it clear that you have no respect for the high school coach. You stated that your son no longer has any wish to pursue baseball in college. Do both of you a favor and tell your son to do something other than play baseball at this school. You and your son will be happier and the stories of how great he was and what could have been will resonate forever as you blame the high school coach.
Just in case there are new readers thinking we are ganging up and being hard on this guy, you need to know there is extensive history with him in this thread. We were largely sympathetic and/or tried to offer guidance/support the first ten or twenty posts he made on this topic.
Unfortunately, unless proper role models enter the kid’s life he’s doomed to be the complainer at the water cooler at work. The players who get ahead in baseball and people who get ahead in the business world aren’t complainers. They see problems and seek solutions.
“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop other people.”
-Randy Pausch
It seems fairly obvious that this kid is making wise choice. College baseball isn't for everyone, him realizing it now will only benefit him. There are many down sides to the college experience, some of us think they are worth it for the upsides but that doesn't mean we are correct.
I have 2 - one stuck with it in college, is in the process of having successful career, has been player for his first seasons in a 2 games out of 3 role and will be a full time starter (at least I believe he will) this coming season. He will be the first to tell you ain't all fun and he questioned many times why he does it.
My 2nd said hell no I got better things to do....is he a quitter? Let me tell you something that kid is a stud and is going to very very successful. He knows how to read a room, he anticipates situations well and is very observant to what is going on around him. I almost had to convince him to play his SR yr in HS because the love and desire we gone...but he certainly isn't a quitter.
There is a big world out there besides playing HS and college baseball - deciding not go that path is not a bad choice - only a personal one.
My son is continuing all of his practice regiments currently because he wants to be the best he can and his goal is to be the best on the field every time he goes out. He is very competitive and has proven himself to be competitive in mind and actually play over and over again. Even when I was helping coach his 9-13 travel teams I did not advocate for him to have un earned daddy ball playing time. There were years that he was the smallest player, not the worst just the smallest player and his hitting and his consistency in the field moved him up in the lineup without any of my influence as a coach. My influence was with my son working on his swing and working on his defense his hustle and everything else. My son has seen the brick walls and has climbed them. I hope he continues but he is becoming tired of it. I think he his projected to be D3 partly because he is 5'9" and not likely to get any taller. Big guys with bad batting averages are going to get more looks because they can hit the ball further that one time somebody important was watching. They are more projectable. The coaches are looking for big guys they can coach to be better. Coaches are not going to be able to teach my son how to be 6'2" 200 lbs. My son is currently throwing 86 from the outfield with great accuracy he has a exit velo of 85 (wood bat on a tee) and runs a 7.02 (laser) 60. I have read your guys comments and thank you for the words of advice and the quotes you share. I see truth in a lot of them. Sometimes things are just different. Some will say his bad coach is preparing him for a bad boss and maybe it is. I however don't put up with bad bosses. I am very good at my job, there are few of me, and I am wanted by several companies. I will move on if the company is not heading in the direction I want to go ( I do not job hop I have stayed at least 6 yrs everywhere). I have respect for myself I have had to demand respect form many bosses. I always respect the boss and they should give it back. If they don't, I call them out on it. That's my real world. This baseball world my son can't do that, and I can't do that. It might hurt a coaches ego or feelings. Maybe someone here can relate to this scenario. Coach tells a bunch of 14year olds you guys know nothing about baseball, when I was 14 I was so dumb and I knew nothing about baseball until I had a good coach teach me the right way to play. Then he went on to coach them all the things my son and I would say most of the others already knew. My point is just because you were dumb at 14 does not mean everyone else is. I went to the bank looking for a loan at 20 yrs old. Before running my credit the loan officer told me no because I was the same age as his son and his son would not be able to get a loan at that bank. I went to school with his son and just because he is a loser should have no affect on me. I asked him to run my credit, he begrudgingly did. He came back with a big smile on his face and said we can do business. Maybe sometimes we don't need to climb these walls but knock them down. If you are correct then bosses, bankers and dare I say teachers and coaches need to be corrected. My son longs for the day when he will be judged for the content of his character, work ethic, and playing ability rather than the number of years he has been around the sun. HS tryouts on MLK 2020. We will see what happens. For those of you that think I should sit down and have a heart to heart with my son and take blame for what I have done. I did have a sit down talk about it before he said he didn't want to play in college. I critique everything and everyone, it's me. I don't share them with everyone, and I have had success with helping others and myself in doing so. (Last seasons playoffs I scouted the other team for fun and came up with a strategy to win. We were a higher seed but I could tell right away this team had more talent that our team was going to need to over come. Their top 3 pitchers were good, but predictable. They had 3 hitters that you have to get out and I studied them to see what was the best pitching strategy to achieve this. I shared my strategy with my son. I hoped he would find it useful and share it with others. The coaches did their own scouting and strategy and shared it with the team. It was much different than what I had. We were run ruled twice. My son got one at bat only in the second game after it was clear we were getting run ruled and the Ace pitcher was throwing a no hitter shutout. My son used the information I gave him about how predictable this pitcher was and my son hit a line drive over the short stop.) I did apologized if I was hard on him his teammates or coaches. He told me I was correct in my judgments an rarely wrong at reading people and their abilities. He told me I was the most fair minded coach he ever had. I was not however his favorite. lol. He continues to ask me to take him to the field for extra work with hitting and fielding and we both have a really fun time. I continue to encourage him to battle and play hard because his past experiences has proven that when he works hard he comes out on top. We never thought it would take 3 years but he has 2 more to get it done.
BBDAD98 posted:My son is continuing all of his practice regiments currently because he wants to be the best he can and his goal is to be the best on the field every time he goes out. He is very competitive and has proven himself to be competitive in mind and actually play over and over again. Even when I was helping coach his 9-13 travel teams I did not advocate for him to have un earned daddy ball playing time. There were years that he was the smallest player, not the worst just the smallest player and his hitting and his consistency in the field moved him up in the lineup without any of my influence as a coach. My influence was with my son working on his swing and working on his defense his hustle and everything else. My son has seen the brick walls and has climbed them. I hope he continues but he is becoming tired of it. I think he his projected to be D3 partly because he is 5'9" and not likely to get any taller. Big guys with bad batting averages are going to get more looks because they can hit the ball further that one time somebody important was watching. They are more projectable. The coaches are looking for big guys they can coach to be better. Coaches are not going to be able to teach my son how to be 6'2" 200 lbs. My son is currently throwing 86 from the outfield with great accuracy he has a exit velo of 85 (wood bat on a tee) and runs a 7.02 (laser) 60. I have read your guys comments and thank you for the words of advice and the quotes you share. I see truth in a lot of them. Sometimes things are just different. Some will say his bad coach is preparing him for a bad boss and maybe it is. I however don't put up with bad bosses. I am very good at my job, there are few of me, and I am wanted by several companies. I will move on if the company is not heading in the direction I want to go ( I do not job hop I have stayed at least 6 yrs everywhere). I have respect for myself I have had to demand respect form many bosses. I always respect the boss and they should give it back. If they don't, I call them out on it. That's my real world. This baseball world my son can't do that, and I can't do that. It might hurt a coaches ego or feelings. Maybe someone here can relate to this scenario. Coach tells a bunch of 14year olds you guys know nothing about baseball, when I was 14 I was so dumb and I knew nothing about baseball until I had a good coach teach me the right way to play. Then he went on to coach them all the things my son and I would say most of the others already knew. My point is just because you were dumb at 14 does not mean everyone else is. I went to the bank looking for a loan at 20 yrs old. Before running my credit the loan officer told me no because I was the same age as his son and his son would not be able to get a loan at that bank. I went to school with his son and just because he is a loser should have no affect on me. I asked him to run my credit, he begrudgingly did. He came back with a big smile on his face and said we can do business. Maybe sometimes we don't need to climb these walls but knock them down. If you are correct then bosses, bankers and dare I say teachers and coaches need to be corrected. My son longs for the day when he will be judged for the content of his character, work ethic, and playing ability rather than the number of years he has been around the sun. HS tryouts on MLK 2020. We will see what happens. For those of you that think I should sit down and have a heart to heart with my son and take blame for what I have done. I did have a sit down talk about it before he said he didn't want to play in college. I critique everything and everyone, it's me. I don't share them with everyone, and I have had success with helping others and myself in doing so. (Last seasons playoffs I scouted the other team for fun and came up with a strategy to win. We were a higher seed but I could tell right away this team had more talent that our team was going to need to over come. Their top 3 pitchers were good, but predictable. They had 3 hitters that you have to get out and I studied them to see what was the best pitching strategy to achieve this. I shared my strategy with my son. I hoped he would find it useful and share it with others. The coaches did their own scouting and strategy and shared it with the team. It was much different than what I had. We were run ruled twice. My son got one at bat only in the second game after it was clear we were getting run ruled and the Ace pitcher was throwing a no hitter shutout. My son used the information I gave him about how predictable this pitcher was and my son hit a line drive over the short stop.) I did apologized if I was hard on him his teammates or coaches. He told me I was correct in my judgments an rarely wrong at reading people and their abilities. He told me I was the most fair minded coach he ever had. I was not however his favorite. lol. He continues to ask me to take him to the field for extra work with hitting and fielding and we both have a really fun time. I continue to encourage him to battle and play hard because his past experiences has proven that when he works hard he comes out on top. We never thought it would take 3 years but he has 2 more to get it done.
The bold above pretty much sums everything up and give me a pretty good idea of why your son isn't playing.
HS Baseball is running rampant with 2 things: 1) Poor coaching &. 2) Overinvolved, delusional parents. If you wanna know what happens when the 2 collide all you have to do is read this thread.
Smitty28 posted:cabbagedad posted:
Seriously, as we approach page 11...
Classic!
Thanks guys, I just spit up my coffee (again) and made a mess.
Coach May you speak the baseball and parenting gospel. Awesome post about letting your children grow up within boundaries and finding their way in life.
Please don't ever take this down. You can't make this stuff up and some parent years from now will need to be pointed back to this. If your son says they want to coach, make them read this and say this is what you might have to deal with. So you scouted a JV team for playoffs? Are you kidding me? When your son is not even starting? I am so lost in some of this I can't wrap my mind around it.
Earlier you said your son played on a team this summer that lost more than they won and then you say he played up in 16U and they went .500. I am so confused by this that I almost need cliff notes to keep up. I do know you are your son's worst enemy. YOU have ruined him from playing college ball and he hates his HS coach because of YOU. WOW. I have not been the best parent and I have not always done a great job of agreeing with my sons' coaches but never this.
This has to be a Top 10 Thread.
BBDAD98 posted:... (Last seasons playoffs I scouted the other team for fun and came up with a strategy to win. We were a higher seed but I could tell right away this team had more talent that our team was going to need to over come. Their top 3 pitchers were good, but predictable. They had 3 hitters that you have to get out and I studied them to see what was the best pitching strategy to achieve this. I shared my strategy with my son. I hoped he would find it useful and share it with others. The coaches did their own scouting and strategy and shared it with the team. It was much different than what I had. We were run ruled twice. My son got one at bat only in the second game after it was clear we were getting run ruled and the Ace pitcher was throwing a no hitter shutout. My son used the information I gave him about how predictable this pitcher was and my son hit a line drive over the short stop.) ...
Let me get this straight... So, in playoffs, your son's team was run-ruled twice by a team, one game included having a no-no shoved at them (except for your son's late inning sub hit). But you had a strategy that would have resulted in his team winning the series.
Man, I can seriously use your help... I'd like to see more rescue dogs behave and we need a faster cure for cancer, SMA and ALS.
I'm tappin' out... best to ya.
I've posted this before....but I coached this guy's kid for 2 years in junior high. Go about 7 minutes in lol
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6tf87k
To be fair....some (quite a bit actually) of this is an act....I knew him well enough to know it as soon as I watched....BUT in our little small town, most people saw this and this is exactly what they thought of him. I haven't seen him for 5 years now.... but my son and the kid played 2 years of Varsity HS ball together and are still friends.....great kid, and I really think that if he wouldn't have had to put up with dad and his "coaching" that he could have played college bal. He ended up giving up baseball after HS.....I'm fairly certain it was he was just tired of dad at that point 
I think the value in this thread does not come down to the ability to help the op. It comes down to hopefully someone reads this and takes the advice offered up before it's too late for them. I will be honest, sometimes I look back on when my son's were playing sports before the HS years and I cringe at myself. I valued some things over other things then and now that I look back I say "What in the _____ was I thinking?" I did some things and I look back and I am quite honestly embarrassed. Just think about this. When your son starts HS at 14 or 15 in ten short years he will be in his mid 20's. For the VAST majority of kids who play sports will it matter if he started? Will it matter if he could run a sub 7 60? Will it matter if he had a good arm? Will it matter if he could hit a breaking pitch? Will those things matter at all?
Ask yourself what will matter? What will always matter? What is really important? What will he need when you are no longer around? What will matter when you can't help? I go back to what is the REAL purpose of sports? What are you really hoping your son gets out of the experience? Would you rather your son be a MLB player and a total jerk? A MLB and have no relationship with him? A MLB player and is not a good man? Etc etc etc? Yes it's possible to have both.
It's a lot easier to look back and have proper perspective. The problem is the damage is done. Yes you can learn from your mistakes. But isn't better to learn from others mistakes? I know one thing it's a lot less painful.
Coach May, now that's a sermon we all needed to hear!
old_school posted:It seems fairly obvious that this kid is making wise choice. College baseball isn't for everyone, him realizing it now will only benefit him. There are many down sides to the college experience, some of us think they are worth it for the upsides but that doesn't mean we are correct.
I have 2 - one stuck with it in college, is in the process of having successful career, has been player for his first seasons in a 2 games out of 3 role and will be a full time starter (at least I believe he will) this coming season. He will be the first to tell you ain't all fun and he questioned many times why he does it.
My 2nd said hell no I got better things to do....is he a quitter? Let me tell you something that kid is a stud and is going to very very successful. He knows how to read a room, he anticipates situations well and is very observant to what is going on around him. I almost had to convince him to play his SR yr in HS because the love and desire we gone...but he certainly isn't a quitter.
There is a big world out there besides playing HS and college baseball - deciding not go that path is not a bad choice - only a personal one.
I love this post. Folks! Read it and read it again. It’s ok if your kid doesn’t keep playing baseball. Baseball is a choice. For all players it starts off as their own choice. For some players it will end being someone else’s choice. Be supportive and love your player.
I like the post, too. Easy to forget that not everyone would crawl through
broken glass to keep playing like I would have.
broken glass to keep playing like I would have.
There are a lot of outstanding posts in this thread. As you all know I coached my daughter in travel ball and ended up having to be her high school coach. That was not what I wanted. In fact, we didn't want her to play TB and couldn't have cared less if she decided to not play in college. Along the way, somehow her mother and I must have done something right. BB is a middle school and high school coach now. She coached 8 years of TB and her heart was broken when she had to stop doing that. (Long story) Now, and I know some of you others have the same happening in your lives, she and I talk coaching. I am amazed at what she learned. My wife and I were never the parents to push, yell during games, get upset with loses or get too excited about wins and I think that is what kept her even keeled. The love of the game is destroyed so often by so many including coaches and parents. If some of you will remember, at one game in college against their conference rival, I got up to walk behind the bleachers because I was nervous for her in a high pressure situation. After the game, she came up to me and asked my why I left my chair. I didn't even realize she would know where we were sitting. She told me I didn't have to get up and walk and that she would get the hits. I think maybe some parents don't realize the impact they make even by simply doing the nervous walk. I would give almost anything to go back and get to do that journey again. Some parents will reap the joy and benefits of similar actions and the enjoyment. Some will never know it. They simply can't help themselves.
I'm not a coach, and I'm also closer to being a high-school parent than some who have posted. I was a newbie sports parent who spent lots of time wondering why the coach did things. Never ever said anything, but wondered. So I get where the OPs (there are 3 or 4 of them on this thread, I think) come from. Every parent I have known second-guesses coaches about something! By senior year of high school, I understood and approved of most of what the coach had been doing for 4 years; freshman year, there were lots of unasked/unanswered questions, and to this day, there are some things that I still don't understand.
I completely agree with Coach May about character. I saw my son do things that made me proud of him as a person, but I expect that, 10 years from now, I may realize what those were better than I do now. In the moment, you only see what's happening in that moment, and you react without knowing how things are going to play out. Hindsight solves a lot of problems!
Adversity Made Me The Man I Am Today. Every Injury, Every Challenge, Every Loss, Becomes Fuel That Keeps Me Motivated. I’m Determined To Be The Best Me!
- Danny Shelton, DT New England Patriots
PitchingFan posted:Please don't ever take this down. You can't make this stuff up and some parent years from now will need to be pointed back to this. If your son says they want to coach, make them read this and say this is what you might have to deal with. So you scouted a JV team for playoffs? Are you kidding me? When your son is not even starting? I am so lost in some of this I can't wrap my mind around it.
Earlier you said your son played on a team this summer that lost more than they won and then you say he played up in 16U and they went .500. I am so confused by this that I almost need cliff notes to keep up. I do know you are your son's worst enemy. YOU have ruined him from playing college ball and he hates his HS coach because of YOU. WOW. I have not been the best parent and I have not always done a great job of agreeing with my sons' coaches but never this.
This has to be a Top 10 Thread.
You all sure we're not being trolled??? Or is it possible that a dad can really be like this in real life?
atlnon posted:PitchingFan posted:Please don't ever take this down. You can't make this stuff up and some parent years from now will need to be pointed back to this. If your son says they want to coach, make them read this and say this is what you might have to deal with. So you scouted a JV team for playoffs? Are you kidding me? When your son is not even starting? I am so lost in some of this I can't wrap my mind around it.
Earlier you said your son played on a team this summer that lost more than they won and then you say he played up in 16U and they went .500. I am so confused by this that I almost need cliff notes to keep up. I do know you are your son's worst enemy. YOU have ruined him from playing college ball and he hates his HS coach because of YOU. WOW. I have not been the best parent and I have not always done a great job of agreeing with my sons' coaches but never this.
This has to be a Top 10 Thread.
You all sure we're not being trolled??? Or is it possible that a dad can really be like this in real life?
I saw parental behavior and heard parental comments regarding making varsity and playing time that were just unbelievable. In two of the most significant situations I recollect I was very tempted to ask the parents, “How many freak’n opportunities and failures do you believe your kid deserves?” The parents were blind to their kid got their shot. In both cases the parents had trouble accepted that 14u stud and high school, big boy ball are two different things.
It was amusing to hear how successful their kids were on piss poor 16u teams that never saw quality pitching. These were the teams in pool play I worked from the back of the staff as a travel coach. On some occasions, to save pitching I asked former pitcher, position players to just throw strikes until we out slugged them into a mercy.
atlnon posted:PitchingFan posted:Please don't ever take this down. You can't make this stuff up and some parent years from now will need to be pointed back to this. If your son says they want to coach, make them read this and say this is what you might have to deal with. So you scouted a JV team for playoffs? Are you kidding me? When your son is not even starting? I am so lost in some of this I can't wrap my mind around it.
Earlier you said your son played on a team this summer that lost more than they won and then you say he played up in 16U and they went .500. I am so confused by this that I almost need cliff notes to keep up. I do know you are your son's worst enemy. YOU have ruined him from playing college ball and he hates his HS coach because of YOU. WOW. I have not been the best parent and I have not always done a great job of agreeing with my sons' coaches but never this.
This has to be a Top 10 Thread.
You all sure we're not being trolled??? Or is it possible that a dad can really be like this in real life?
Possible but highly unlikely, IMO. While there's plenty to make someone think that, there are certain elements of consistency throughout his many posts over 1 1/2 years since he first joined this thread way back on mid page 2, now nearing page 11. Besides, yes I have actually had more than a couple of "this dad" almost "to a T" in my programs in real life over the years. Yes, unfortunately, you can guess the fate of the sons with 100% accuracy.
To Anotherparent's point, I think we have all been there to a degree at times as parents. But most of us are like the other 3 or 4 on this thread that Anotherparent referenced. They came in, voiced their experiences and concerns, were given advice, listened to those who have been down the path, were talked down from the ledge where necessary, encouraged to look at things more rationally, took what they could from the conversations and moved on, most in a much better place than when they came in. Not the case with this one.
Over the course of the thread, the dad has let out that the player has at various points had attitude issues, had a bad throwing motion, tried to tell the coaches that it was the pitchers' fault that he couldn't throw out runners as a catcher and threw them under the bus, lacks size and power, among many other things. Yet, he continues to make excuses and defend the kid at every turn while putting all blame on the coach/es. Meanwhile, dad is making it very clear to the player and others in and around the program that he doesn't approve of the coach/es. This still going on after a year and a half of many here trying to talk him down from the ledge and convince him otherwise.
Back to the playoff series - So, you came up with a game strategy that you knew was much different than that of the coaches. You told your son, hoping "he would find it useful and share it with others" (Your exact words). Who were you hoping he would tell? If he did, how does that not get back to the coaches? How does this possibly not end very badly? What was your desired outcome, considering you are so successful at good outcomes in your profession? Were you hoping for a mutiny, where all the players would say "yeah, his dad has a much better plan! Let's quit on our coaches and try to get him to lead us to the promised land here in the playoffs!" Seriously, WT$ !!!
Oh, to be a fly on the wall!!!...I mean... A fly on the chain link fence around the dugout!
Baseball mom
when I coach one of the best travel teams in Calif, I would invite the parents into the dugout and explain my decisions. In the 6 years we played against 50 future MLB players. Every game drew 5-10 pro scouts.
From this experience I created the Area Code games and the players benefited from 300 scouts each game.
Travel to Santa Rosa and sit in the "dugout"
bob
Coach_May posted:When your son starts HS at 14 or 15 in ten short years he will be in his mid 20's. For the VAST majority of kids who play sports will it matter if he started? Will it matter if he could run a sub 7 60? Will it matter if he had a good arm? Will it matter if he could hit a breaking pitch? Will those things matter at all?
Ask yourself what will matter? What will always matter? What is really important? What will he need when you are no longer around? What will matter when you can't help? I go back to what is the REAL purpose of sports? What are you really hoping your son gets out of the experience? Would you rather your son be a MLB player and a total jerk? A MLB and have no relationship with him? A MLB player and is not a good man? Etc etc etc? Yes it's possible to have both.
It's a lot easier to look back and have proper perspective. The problem is the damage is done. Yes you can learn from your mistakes. But isn't better to learn from others mistakes? I know one thing it's a lot less painful.
Coach May, your posts are invaluable here. You really get it.
One thing that is funny is if you read this site enough, you do see the clueless parents like the guy in this thread who probably means well but just don't see how he is affecting his son. But you also see people still bragging and taking credit for what their kids did 10 or 15 years ago. Aside from how empty that bragging is, the point is that for the kids who DID start and succeed, THAT doesn't matter either. Bragging on how your kid was better than the kid of some other "clueless parent" is equally pathetic because it matters exactly zero that your kid was good 15 years ago. What kind of a person is he now, and what kind of a person are you?
Coach_May posted:Will it matter if he could hit a breaking pitch?
Yes
Wow there is a lot to read through here for someone just chiming in! I have come to really enjoy a ton of posts by Coach May, Cabbagedad, and many of you on the site, and the advice in this thread is great.
I am a high school teacher (though not a coach thank God) and I shoot as straight as I can with parents whose kids struggle. The biggest situation I run into is that the kid is just not all that interested in getting decent grades, or is not willing to work. With those kids whose parents "snowplow" the obstacles away for their children, I will typically ask them what they think will happen when their kids goes off to college or enters the real world and mom or dad are not there to help anymore. I will tell them about the valedictorian of my high school that flunked out of college his first semester because he didn't know how to do things or handle adversity himself.
I hear students everyday in my classroom talking about how coach only moved that kid up because he is his favorite, or how so and so is not "that good", or (insert excuse here).
I have a freshman, and my take is that it is all on him. I can try to help guide him in some key areas (and this site is amazing for that) but I have always told him that: if he is not talented enough, does not love the game enough, and is not willing to work hard enough then he may as well just have fun with it and take what he gets - because he will never be good enough to play at a higher level anyway.
Take these peoples' advice. Let your son fail. Make him be his own man.
I am much more concerned about what type of man my son will be at age 30 than "if" he gets to play a sport in college or not. Go google how many MLB guys realized their dream and played in the show for 2-3 years, and then see what they are doing now. The same things you and I are doing. Teaching, selling cars, running small businesses, coaching, working in the corporate world, etc.
I always try to keep this in mind - none of this crap is going to matter in 5 years anyway. Everything is going to work out as it is supposed to.