HS coach won't play son

Get ready to be pounded.  

My $.02 is don't contact the coach. It will do more harm than good. Your kid did what he should.  Not much more he can do other than be a good teammate and continue to work hard.  These things happen and you really just have to accept it. Make sure he is on a summer team where he is "loved."   Good luck.  

Circle the firing squad.  Ready... Aim....

He could maybe take a few grounders at 3rd. Has he tried catching?

(OK, that's kind of mean of me, I'm sorry - but I couldn't resist)

When a player isn't in the lineup he needs to remain physically and mentally ready to produce. He has to be ready for the one at bat, one inning in the field, the pinch running or inning on the mound that will make an impression on the coaching staff. To be prepared the player must keep a positive attitude and practice hard. The best way to get in the lineup is show up the first day of the season with production that shows the player should absolutely be in the lineup.

Do you think good players sit at other levels? On major conference college baseball teams 35 players with high school all conference, all metro, all state credentials show up for the season. Only about 18-20 get any kind of playing time.

Right now Jackie Bradley Jr., who may be the best defensive center fielder in baseball is in AAA as the second option to be called up after hitting over .400 in spring training. There are six better overall outfielders on the Red Sox plus one ahead of him in AAA.

Like your son should do, these players stay ready to take advantage of any opportunity. Your son should be the first at practice and the last to leave. Coaches notice when players work that hard to get ahead.

Add: Lefties don't play catcher, second, short or third after the preteen years. Don't even waste time thinking about it. A lot of kids were stars at previous levels. By high school the talent funnel starts getting real narrow. Earning playing time isn't about what players have done in the past. it's all about what they can do for the team riget now.

When my son was in high school there were three parents of kids complaining every year their kids were getting screwed by the coach. As a former college player and then travel coach I would nod my head and say, "uh huh." Then I would think to myself, "They're out of their mind. The right players are starting." Most coaches aren't stupid. Typically they can judge talent. They see a lot more than the parent sees. And they don't see it with bias. If it appears the coach has a favorite player it's typically one that works the hardest or is the most talented.

Hi Nick's Mom and welcome to the site.  A few questions to get some more perspective...  you said he has speed - what is his 60 time?  What is his home-to-first time?  What is his batted ball exit speed?  Does he have a PG rating?  Which top travel/club team is he currently signed up with?  Which varsity level top travel/club teams are calling asking him to play this coming summer?  The HS team he is on now, is it varsity or JV?  22 on the team - did they have cuts and if so, how many tried out?  What is top velocity of the hardest throwing pitcher on the team?  Setting aside his strengths for a moment, what weaknesses do you think he has that are keeping him from getting more playing time?  What does your son see as his best position?  When he squares balls up against live pitching, hitting to the opposite field, how far does the ball typically travel?  Same question pull side?  Does he hit lefty?  I look forward to your answers so I can try to provide proper guidance.

Nicks Mom - Sympathy or empathy is not what you need. What you need to understand is that you can never help your son with this issue, only hurt him. It sounds like he is not shy, but passionate about the game. Good things will happen. If they do not happen with this coach, find him a good travel team for the summer and perhaps fall. But this battle you can not win and should be left to your son.

As RJM says, your son needs to keep working and always be ready for opportunities.  3 of our varsity players were just let go over the weekend due to underage drinking tickets.  Varsity coach is pulling 2 of my JVs up to fill the spots.

Bottom line is, you just never know?  Always be ready for the call because good chance it will come.  Life is funny that way.

NIcks mom,

Welcome to the site.  I believe there is a wealth of information available to you on this site if you choose to search it. Search box is in the top left corner. There is also a ton of experience with our posters.  My suggestion would be to listen to what the posters are saying and do your own research on the topic.  

By high school, most parents want to stay involved with their son's baseball but it becomes a different type of involvement when they get older.  Encourage him to become the best player he can be and let the coaches coach.  My suggestion would be to let your son work it out on his own,  I've gone through this 3 times with my sons.  My wife and I are there 24x7x365 for advice but they are the ones who decide what to do.  Let your son step up and take these challenges on his own.  High school baseball can be challenging, but he has to do this on his own.  So, stand by him, and support him the best you can by empowering him.   JMO.

Good luck.

Whether you get hammered on here or not is going to depend on how you take the advice of the posts you're getting.  So far everyone has been pretty consistent with some great follow up questions by cabbagedad that will allow us to understand things more.  If you read all this great advice and still complain and whine about how bad this coach is you're going to get hammered.  If you take it and try to make it work then you will get sympathy and empathy. 

Unfortunately, there are some bad coaches out there just like there are bad lawyers, doctors and plumbers.  Taking what you've posted at face value it sounds like you have a bad one.  But we just have your side so we all take what you say with a grain of salt.  The advice has been spot on - you do not get involved unless the health of your son is in jeopardy.  He's spoken up for himself and that's about all he can do.  

One thing that I need more information is when he told the coach he wasn't a scrub - was that in front of the rest of the team?  If so then he's dug a hole he may not get out of.  A comment like that is for behind closed door meeting with the coach but never in front of the team.  That is challenging and undermining the coaches authority as leader of the team.  If he's as bad as you say he will say your son has an attitude and will bury him on the bench.  Right or wrong doesn't matter here - he is the coach and he has the ultimate power when he writes out the line up card.  Never do or say anything to give the coach a reason to not write you in.  Show up everyday with great attitude, great teammate, great hustle and everything else that goes into being a great player.

Don't put too much stock into the whole HS baseball thing. HS baseball is just a small part of a kid's career. If he works hard on his own and plays on a competitive summer team he will get a chance to show he can play. You will find a thousand ways a HS coach can ruin your season on here. Just get through it and remember that the coach that is recruiting your kid this summer will care very little about HS.

Dont risk the doghouse!

Thanks for all the great feedback. Granted, I may not know all that you guys/gals know, particularly at this level of play, that's why I sought out this site so I can get the info/advice I need. I apologize if I was whining, that wasn't the intention. I'm trying to understand the mindset of the coach so I can help my son figure out what he needs to do. My son has always, always been encouraged to take on life's challenges on his own. He's probably better at it than most.

Someone asked whether he had his conversation in front of his teammates. Nick knows better. He asked the coach to talk after the game, in private.

Cabbagedad, I only know that basic stats. Nick and I are going to review your questions and get answers. We are very interested in the feedback: good, bad or indifferent.

Your words were encouraging. And,despite having the same advice for Nick that many of you gave, he was not receptive to it.  I'm a mom. What do I know? I told him what the vast majority of you have advised. He went to practice at 530am with a smile on his face and determination to prove he should play. 

We will also seek out a high-caliber club team.

You've gotten excellent advice above.  And your son did the first thing many on here would have advised - talk to the coach himself.

Nearly all of us on here have experienced what you have in one way or another.  Might've been an all-star coach, or a travel coach...or another HS coach.  As pointed out above, even the very best professional baseball players find themselves in confusing situations not too different from this one more than once in their career.

Keep in mind that most private instructors, if paid by you, will tell you wonderful things about your son.  For one, they nearly all believe they can help...they are optimists as they should be!  But they also want to build a relationship with you and your son.  A good relationship gives them a better shot at helping your son and they want you to come back (and keep paying them).

Whats the good news?  HS season ends soon.  Summer will be upon us and if you find the right summer team - your son will re-find the joy of playing baseball.  We went through some of this with our older son.  As a freshman in HS, his coach f-bombed him over and over in front of the team and a year later his varsity coach as a sophomore called me and threatened that he'd never pitch in his program again if he took one more pitching lesson all while acknowledging he was the best pitcher in his program.

Sometimes these things take care of themselves (both coaches were removed cause I guess the AD saw the same things we did)...sometimes they do not.  But your son does have a real-life situation right in front of him and I believe your role is much more about mentoring him/guiding him through it as he grows into a young man.  You can better prepare him for life than baseball here if you take on the challenge constructively.

Terrific opportunity for you as a parent - do your best to take advantage of it. 

Welcome Nick's mom!  The more experienced posters have given lots of advice, so I don't have much to add except in the form of being a baseball mom.  Do not under any circumstances approach the coach regarding playing time.  You will be labeled as "that mom" and it will follow your son throughout high school.  He had a discussion with the coach so coach knows he's eager to earn it.  Now it is up to him to prove it.  He needs to have the most hustle, be the first one there, be the one racing after foul balls down the line, etc.  Also remember, he's a sophomore, so there are a lot of upper classmen that coach is more familiar with and its possible coach is giving them a chance to succeed or fail before giving away their spots.  

As parents, we are now in the role of support staff.  For me, at least, this means getting him where he needs to go, making sure uniform is clean (we've had great conversations while standing over the sink with bars of Fels Napha soap and white pants...he helps because I am definitely not doing the 50s housewife thing!), listen when he needs to vent, provide constructive feedback if needed, and kick his butt a little if needed.  There is no bashing of teammates allowed.  I cannot stress this enough!  These are his teammates and like family.  I would never put down one of my children in order to make the other feel better, so why would it be ok with teammates? No talking negative about coaches. 

I believe Chicagoland has better competition than my neck of the woods, but even around here, mid 70s doesn't put a pitcher in the stud category.  If your son is passionate, make sure he's on the best summer team possible and go to a showcase if he hasn't already.  PBR has lots of local events in Illinois that are relatively inexpensive.  This will give you an accurate starting point to gauge how he stacks up regarding 60 times, arm speed, exit velo and they give a paragraph write up regarding performance.  The top showcases are Perfect Game, but are much more costly and a ways away.  If you can afford it, do it, but it's not an option for us at this time.  The off season is where he will need to work hard regarding strength so that he can show up next season and prove he's a beast.  My son, packed on 15 lbs of muscle, hit the weights hard and trained like there was no tomorrow.  It paid off.  Notice that I said he did it.  If it's their dream, they need to do it.  Mom cannot be hounding them to lift or workout.  The only time I am "hands on" is if he needs a cage session and dad isn't home (this is how he works through things mentally).  I will sit behind the screen with my batting helmet and toss balls silently as he works through whatever is going on in that head and try not to squeal like a girl.

And remember, you need to behave and not share any of your thoughts regarding playing time with anyone in the stands.  There are 40+ parents on your side alone that believe their player is the best out there.  

My, how polite everyone is when a mom asks this question (insert stupid smiley thing),

Mom, remember your son is a sophomore and he has two more years in high school to shine.  Riding the bench now will either inspire him to work harder or not.  All life lessons and not much you can do about it.   

Hate to tell you this but this probably was not the best time to talk to the coach.  Problem is there is nothing that can be done about it now.  If he goes back to the coach again it will be perceived as whining.  Most folks don't realize it but coaching a game can be a little taxing.  Especially if you are in the mist of a loosing season.  Having a kid come up to you and tell you that "I can get you the w" after you just lost can be interrupted as "hey coach, your line up sucks, if you would have put me in there, because Im so great (and you don't realize it) we would be winning".  

You son took the right approach to talking to the coach, I would have suggested he approach him during school or after a practice to ask him when the best time to talk was.  Surprising the coach right after a game probably was not the best approach to take.  He asked the right question when he asked what he needed to do to earn playing time.  He should have just listened to the coach and left it at that.

As others have said, there is not much he can do.  He can either remain bitter and think that he is better then the rest of the team or he can accept his role on the team, have fun and be ready to play when called upon.  As he is a lefty he is regulated to pitching, playing 1B or outfield at this point.  

I will also throw this out there.  I don't know your son so none of this might apply.  How does your son approach practice?  Does he walk around like he is better then everyone or does he give 100% every time and remain a team player?  How are his grades?  Is he a boarder line eligibility kid?  Does he understand the game?  By that I mean does he know what to do in every situation?  Some kids have wonderful skill sets but don't understand the flow of the game and may not make the proper play.

In HS there are a lot more things that go into a coaches playing decision then just the biggest strongest most athletic kids.  

One last thought.  Maybe the kids on the field are better players then you are seeing right now.  In our area its early in the season.  We have just started conference play and a lot of the kids are facing reduced playing time.  I heard a little grumbling last night and will probably hear some more tonight.  Im sure the coaches will receive a phone call or two in the next few days.  What a lot of the parents are not seeing is that up until last night everyone received equal playing time.  Now we are playing our best 10 to 14 kids.  As we were playing everyone earlier in the season the starters were dealing with reduced playing time and are still getting into the grove of playing.

Finally, you are going to get some good advice on here.  Some of it may be a little brutal and may not be what you are looking for but its probably all going to be right on.  Listen to the folks here.  Hang out some.  Many of these people have kids who have gone through what you are going through.  Many of them have sons playing in college, some have kids playing Minor ball and a few have kids that have played on the big stage.