I'm sure you've experienced this - Advice?

It's funny that when that green monster surfaces we sometimes feel like we may have done something wrong.

This is not your problem, it is theirs, the coach makes the lineup and we all know that can change day to day.

Remain cordial and most of all, cheer on all of the players on the team, not just your own and remember to enjoy the season.

Best of luck to your son and his team.

Agree whole heartedly with TPM. When son was freshman he took over DH job halfway through season. Didnt sit well with upperclassmen or their parents but time is on your side,after son hit .446 most parents and players changed their tune. Just smile and bear it,Coach wants to win and will play his best.Good luck!

Wisconsin Baseball,

How do you expect people to act when their family member is literally shoved aside in favor of someone else? There’s nothing personal about it toward you or your son, but rather the intense feelings parents get, and rightfully so, when they see their child “losing” to someone else. We all want to believe our kids are the best looking, brightest, most athletic, most popular, and most everything, but that’s just not the way things are.

I’m not saying that makes people acting inappropriately ok, but rather that from their perspective, they have a right to be upset and you need to understand that. You’ve been fortunate to have such a gifted child compared to the others on the team, but one day your child will very likely be in the same position, and how will you feel about it?

Perhaps for the next 2 years he’ll be out there busting his hump and playing every second of every game, then all of a sudden some new Fr phenom shows up who’s bigger, faster, has a better arm, hits better, fields better, and in general is a better player. If the coach makes a decision and plants your boy on the bench and the other in the lineup, would you be the first one to run over to the new kid’s dad and tell him how happy you were?

Players are supposed to be all for one and one for all kinda guys. But face it, parents will be that way only up to the point where their kid is pushed into the background. They may support the decision in public, but if they’re any kind of parent at all, their heart will be aching for their kid, and when that happens, the object of what caused that ache isn’t gonna be a very popular person in the bleachers.

Unless you’re some kind of licensed counselor, the last thing you want to do is try to solve the problem by talking to them about it. Just sit back and enjoy your boy’s experience, and act toward other people’s children the way you want them to act towards yours. Don’t be one of those loud and obnoxious parents who whoops and hollers every time their kid does something, but is either quiet or substantially muted when it comes to the other players. Keep in mind that your kid literally took something from someone else’s kid who’d worked his butt off for 3 years, and now is sitting on the bench as thanks for it.

Ignore their rudeness. Be courteous in return. It's a can't win situation. if your kid is good enough to go on to college ball there will be some parents jealous of that too.

My situation may have been compounded by starting the first USSSA style travel team that took the three players out of the local Legion program starting with 13U. Each year after that I advised people how to start USSSA teams. In three years all the best talent was playing travel instead of Legion. I became (in their minds) the guy whose son was too good to play with theirs. I became (in their minds) the guy who destroyed the Legion program. 

You can come sit with me out on the right field fence.  We finally figured out that there is nothing you can do or say to them that will make them feel better.  Until they look at the situation truly objectively, they are not good company.  As our son proved himself on the mound they finally warmed up and became friendly again.  But I stayed out on the fence anyways because even though we were no longer the target someone else was. 

On the flip side, we have also seen coaches make mistakes wrt playing time.  You know the kid that keeps playing even while continually making costly errors, or benching a kid for being in a hitting slump and then never letting them get another chance all season.  It's easier to watch from the fence during these times too.

The outfield fence really is a nice place to watch a game!

I remember my husband telling me to be happy for my son, but don't express it, and don't look too excited.  Things worked out well.  The kids were always nice, but a few parents weren't that happy.  Ironically, the senior he replaced in lineup was the most welcoming and his parents were the absolute best.  To make it better, by the end of the season he made it back in  as the DH and they were batting 4-5 in the lineup.  Ended up doing really well together, and stay in touch to this day.  And the parents are still the best!

When our son was in 8th grade the school's brand new varsity coach brought up our son and three other 8th graders to the varsity.  All four of the boys brought up to varsity played on very competitive club teams year round.  The boys who were already on the varsity did not play/work on baseball outside of the regular baseball season, but expected to play based on grade level classification.  The climate in the stands and dugout became unbearable.  We had parents openly yelling insults at the coaches and younger players from the stands. They tried to get the HC fired.  We decided to sit in the opposing team's stands and to keep it positive whenever we were around those angry parents.  What was really interesting was that the older players were able to accept the younger players as the younger players proved themselves on the field and even became very protective of the younger players. The atmosphere in the dugout improved.  The angry parents never got over it, and the climate in the stands did not improve until all of the older players graduated.

What we learned from the situation was that we would remain positive and cheer for ALL players no matter how we felt about what was happening. This year our son had to deal with some challenges during the HS season, but we kept it positive.  For the first time in 15 years our HS team took state, so our coach must be doing something right. 

Thanks for all the comments and support.  Everything suggested is exactly what I expected people to say.  I wanted to update on the season that ended this week.  2015 son played nearly every inning as MIF, and pitched on a couple occasions (didn't allow a single run).  There were certainly some ups and downs, but the ups were far greater than the downs.  He had some super clutch hits (had GW RBI in at least 4 games - including two walk off hits ((one of which was a walk off HR))).  He found out this morning he was named HM All-Conference.  More importantly I believe all those that were a bit grumpy he was a starter, all accepted that he deserved to be in there and gave their full support.  He attended a Showcase recently as well and has started to get some letters/questionnaires.  Im sure I'll be back with recruiting questions soon.

Great advice. My son left an abysmal 14u team he joined just for the spring at the very end of the season and joined a MUCH better team with a coach we deeply respect. So, when some parents asked if we'd stick around to play in a tournament and a few more weeks that were tacked onto the end of the season, they were shocked and somewhat ticked off that we were leaving (the manager, who knew for a month, said nothing to anyone). So, my son and I were the bad guys. Not a single person responded to our good bye and good luck email and we were never told about the end of the season party. Which is understandable, but a bit uncool IMHO.

Anyhow, when he joined the new team he started out by helping to replace some injured players in a woodbat tournament. The parents and kids were nice but made it clear that they liked their roster as-is and it was temporary. But he won them over with his hard work, focus, and excellent hitting. One of the kids moved out of the area and he's one of the guys now. Very good experience so far. Hang in there and be polite and sociable.